Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Why Does Allah Hurt People?

Components of ImaanIf muqafat e amal is real... then for those who are following right path, who fear Allah before making judgment about others... those who follow Amr bil maroof and nahyi anil munkar... that is doing good and rejecting what is false n evil... then why my family is suffering?

my family has never hurt a single soul before getting into miserable life...from my father's accidental death to my mother, sisters my brothers and myself's miserable life... we all got separated now we dont have home.

i never drink... never zinna or sex before marriage .. never had girl friend... or any illegal activity in business work or relationship... same goes to my sisters ...who got married sunnat way.

one of brother in law was very nice but his mother n sisters came out to be so cruel from day 1... now we r living in dark apartment have no job business or nothing... where my r is living disheartened sad n depressing life watching my sister getting blood sucking vampire that her husband has become gradually he does not even care for his own child to look after him.. her husband just left her and he also has disc problem now he has cured because we prayed crying for him.. not relying on him to pay us in return for what he have prayed for him... but at least he shud have done some justice with my sister who has been teaching school since 20 years.. but this man all he, her r and his sisters do know is to make my innocent sister suffer... always blaming n accusing... taking her mother n sisters to shopping and not answering my sisters call... just ignoring my family n giving us depression..

a family who has always been in grief n depressed from life... struggling for eman... to keep convincing Allah... my sister mother and me we left our own BIG childhood house to keep our brothers wives life private bcoz we cud not hear fight of those brothers wives so we left that house...... i just ask Allah you never hurt strong people... but why you make suffer people with eman? make them weak until they become so weak so that they cannot even breath peacefully? why testing people who have strong eman? who r gratefull to you .. why Allah? just this question. nothing else.

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28 Responses »

  1. Sir with all due respect , a person with strong eman doesn't ask the questions you are asking at the end of your post. it shouldn't matter to you who suffers and who Allah blesses, that's between them and Allah.

    People who are the most close to Allah are usually put through the most hardship and tests, that's exactly what is happening to you right now, because you are a good Muslim , Allah is testing you. But Allah never tests anyone beyond their limit or more then what they can endure.

    Negative thoughts always come in to a persons mind during difficult times, but you cant just sit there and start questioning Allah.

    Keep faith in Allah, continue offering your prayers and doing as many good deeds as you can.

    You see that roof over your head , that's a blessing from Allah, and their are people in this world who don't even have that. (I used to be one of them at on time)

  2. I would like to start out by letting you know: Your sister is NOT the ONLY ONE with a WICKED MOTHER-IN LAW, out of the billions of people in the world, there r thousands of millions of mother in laws just like your sister's, some even worst to the extent they will kill the daughter in law. They say mothers are always right. Wrong. Not when it comes to their daughter in-laws. Most of them just hate and maltreat them for no apparent reason no matter how sweet, respectful, good, or virtuous the daughter in law may be they will still hate them for no justified cause. It's just how most of them are bro.

    As for the challenges of life u make me want to laugh at u while reading, i mean: U must be kidding me! There is nobody without problem bro, that's what makes us human. If u were to hear MY PROBLEM and that of so many OTHERS, you will be GRATEFUL to God for yours! My own is FAR WORST than yours so i can't figure out your need for complaining!

    Go for family RUQYAH maybe just maybe there is a force behind this.

  3. Asalam alaikum,

    Allah swt knows exactly how strong our eman is, and he tests us accordingly, whether we know it or not. You should be flattered that your tests are large compared to others..that means you are a great muslim. Keep up the good work, steady prayers, reading, and good attitude...inshAllah you will be admitted to Janat easily!


  4. Everything in life is a test. The people you see who are living happy and content lives are also being tested with those lives - Allah sees if they are grateful to Him or not for the blessings He bestows. So do not envy them.

    Also, I think you need to see the positive in your life. Your main complaint here seems to be your sisters difficult marriage. I know it's hard to watch someone we love suffer, but really it could be worse and there are a lot of things your family can do to support her. If this is your only complaint, then you need to regain an appreciation for the good in your life. Your father has passed but you still have your mother and siblings, and even if you don't live together you can still see each other as often as you like Inshallah. Really there is no reason for you to be in constant grief. If your sister is depressed, take her out shopping or to a movie and show her a good time. Laugh with her, tell her jokes and funny stories, remember your happy times as children. Then when you come home smile at your family and be cheerful.

    Remember, Allah does not burden a soul with more than it can bear. You can get through this difficult time and you will Inshallah, but continue to hold on to your faith and don't let this test weaken you. I hope that you can see the good in your life.

  5. Salaam, i can understand where your coming from. Sometimes when the pain becomes too much we lose patience and we start questioning things. I went through a similar phase and still do at times when things become unbearable and I relapse - but this doesn't last for long now.

    I've had trials throughout life too, but I managed to always cope well with them because I had faith. I remember at one point my emaan was at its peak and I would literally jump out of bed feeling super keen to read fajr even before the alarm would go off, on most nights I would wake up for tahajjud too. Eventhough I was being tested during this time, I still had inner peace and was content because my faith was strong.

    My emaan however deteriorated over the last year or so, when just like your sister I went through a difficult situation in my marriage. My husband and my marriage became my primary focus, my world revolved around my husband. And when he messed up and I lost his love my world fell apart, and I lost faith too. I was in a very dark place, just like you I would question why Allah was putting me through this. I would often compare my life to others who outwardly seemed less religious but had better lives. As much as I hate to say this I would become frustrated and angry that Allah wasn't giving me justice, he was punishing me despite me being a good Muslim eg avoiding haraam and sinful behaviour etc. I remember my mum feeling anger towards me when I would say things like this, and she would also feel fearful that I was making such statements, but no matter what she or anyone said I just couldn't leave that dark place. I isolated myself because i literally couldn't tolerate people telling me to have faith and patience, it would irritate me.

    Then slowly and with a lot of effort I realised that the mere fact that im questioning Allah is actually a sign of weak emaan. When I read the stories of the prophets who were beloved to Allah swt i realised that they were tested more than any of us but they remained patient, they were never ungrateful to Allah swt. I think that's what you need to do as well, it'll help you put things into perspective.

    I understand things are difficult, but it says in the Quran that Everyone is tested especially those who are close to Allah, they are tested the most. It's a way to purify you, cleanse your sins and reward you. So, in fact you should consider yourself lucky - inshaAllah through the tests and trials your facing your sins are being forgiven and I pray your rewarded for your patience in the hereafter, Ameen.

    Try not to lose faith or question what's happening. Accept it and turn to Allah even more. Cry to him, beg him continuously to ease your difficulties. Allah promised that with every hardship comes ease, we just need to be patient and pass the test Allah has given us. Anyone can be a good Muslim if their getting everything they want, the real test of faith is how we react when we face difficulty.

    I think that when we become weak in our faith, we automatically give easy access to the shaytaan. He sees us as an easy target to further mess with our minds and deteriorate our emaan even more. I really hate saying all this but I remember I completely lost interest in prayer, I would avoid prayers, every now and again I would feel bad so would pray but it was half hearted and I felt no peace from it. I've worn the hijab for years but during this period it would suffocate me. I wanted to take it off, and feel attractive, have a 'normal' hairstyle etc. Basically it was the shaytaan really messing with my head. Alhamdulillah I didn't remove my hijab, but as the weeks went on I felt more and more depressed, and hopeless - I really just wanted to kill myself and make the suffering stop.

    I wasn't myself, I remember feeling so desperate to feel normal, I actually started becoming scared that I couldn't feel a connection with Allah, it made me really uneasy.

    Anyway, sorry this post is becoming super long, but i just wanted to show you things from my perspective. I wanted you to see that I went through a similar mindset to you, perhaps even worse, and it was because in fact my faith wasn't strong, it was weak hence why I asked the questions that your asking.

    What helped me get back on track was to actually talk to my parents and close friends who I felt had good faith. Even though it took a long time to feel my faith returning i took their advice and took steps to get me to that stage.

    I started praying five times a day, +/- tahajjud. I always tried to keep in wudu. I did the morning Duas and evening Duas. I tried to say all the other daily Duas eg for leaving the house/going and leaving the bathroom etc. I spent time praying my obligatory prayers rather than rushing through them. After each prayer I said the three quls, and at bed time I would blow into my hands the 3 quls and wipe over my body. I prayed ayatul qursi after evey prayer. I drank zam zam with the intention of increasing my faith and giving me inner peace. And i prayed surah yaseen after fajr and Maghreb. I did astaghfar regularly. I also read Islamic books and watched videos which were inspiring and this would give me hope.

    And alhamdulillah only recently I have started to feel some peace. I feel more hopeful because I have faith in Allah swt. Things are still difficult for me in terms of my marriage, but it's becoming more bearable, I'm more able to block out the shaytaan. My focus has changed now to pleasing Allah and begging him for mercy and protection, rather than my husband who had preoccupied my heart completely.

    Anyway, sorry once again for the long post, but ultimately we need to remember that we don't have control of our lives, we think we do but really it's Allah, things happen according to His plans. We need to learn to have faith and place our trust completely in Him, but we need to understand that even by doing that we may not get what we want, but we need to still remain patient and grateful, and put our own efforts into it and then leave it in Allah's hands and inshaAllah we will be rewarded for it.

    Also keeping busy and being productive is another great way to snap out of this mindset. Focussing on the blessings you have rather than falling into self pity over the things that go wrong will also help. It will make you realise that there are people in this world who are in a much worse state than you.

    May Allah swt ease the difficulties faced by you and your family and give you inner peace and contentment. Ameen.

  6. i sometimes think the same like you do. people can easily say its a test! dont lose patience etc but the one who suffers know how it feels inside.
    i have seen some people who give worst kind of torture and damage to others. they have easily destroyed others life but instead of giving them punishment Allah is rewarding them, the more they do bad the more they are getting. its been 3 years i have not got justice from Allah.
    i am seeing the day by day that the person is playing with girls life, destroying them mentally. i m now 28 years old becoz of him. he destroyed my whole life. i m still single. in these three years he has destroyed the life of 5 girls. but Allah is giving him success, houses and cars.
    on the other hand i have controllin sister. i m kind of living a fake life. just because she dont like this and that.
    since my birth i have never been happy . may be 2 or 3 times in my entire life and people call me less tolerant.
    my best friend became my enemy after 18 years of friendship? can you believe that? but only in this matter Allah gave me justice.
    i am all the time begging him for justice but he slapped me by giving him more happiness, more new prey. and Allah is not doing anything
    i sometimes think that Allah only loves men.
    i have seen alot of women who are broken and hurt but the men who cheat are living happily with pious wives.
    i seriously dont get this. when Allah select anybody, why he torture him constantly. why are we the target.

    in 2012, my 2 two best friends left me, cheated on me. one became my worst enemy.
    we lost our car, finacial crisis, all the time living in the house where all are quarelling fighting. we are now living a POOR miserable life and seeing the real face of people. WOW and we never looked down upon anybody but we have been rewarded with poverty.
    its simple and direct YOU ARE UNFORTUNATE LIKE ME. and now swallow it.

    • lorelei, there are so many misunderstandings in the post and in your comment about Allah, and about the meaning and nature of reward and punishment. You are seeing everything only from a narrow material standpoint, which is meaningless. I will try to write an article about this subject Insha'Allah.

      Wael Editor

    • lorelei lee, i can feel your pain. but my pain is unbearable. i am a young man in my 20s and i have already been through pain that very few people have suffered. i had to live away from my parents since i was 14. so, i was deprived of parental love when i needed it the most. i lived with some relatives that didnt like me very much. sometimes they would treat me really harshly. in school, I used to be bullied and picked on regularly becos i was really small and skinny. they used to insult me becos my parents couldnt provide for me the same as them. i didnt have good, nutritious food like them. i was insulted in school becos i used to walk to school on foot and i couldnt bring decent tiffin to school. i didnt have a phone or a computer. there was a computer in my relatives' house and i was not even allowed to touch that even for my school assignments. i was not even allowed to watch tv in that house. can you believe that a 14 year old teenage boy doesnt even have access to tv or games. i didnt even have proper school uniform becos i couldnt afford. even teachers used to insult me in front of everyone becos of my school uniform. i still remember one day the weather was severely cold and i didnt have a warm cloth and i felt humiliated in class. i was shaking in cold. one day i was insulted in front of thousands of students by the school principal becos my school uniform was below standard. once i turned 16 years old, i took admission in 11th grade. this is when my life was ruined. i was molested and sexually harassed in bus. every week i would suffer some sort of sexual harassment by random people in bus or in line. sometimes i would call my parents who lived far away from me and cry to them. but they didnt care. things became even worse when i was sexually harassed in my relatives' home. one of them started sexually harassing me. he would do that to me almost everyday. this is when my mind was absolutely destroyed. i would hurt myself physically to not feel anything. i would hurt my brain and my groin area to lose all feelings of sexuality. i really wanted to commit suicide. i thought that if i destroyed my sexuality, i would find peace. but things only got worse. i started losing my libido and my bones became brittle becos i was losing too much calcium through orgasms. by the time i was 22 years old, my body became so weak. now i realised that i can never get married because my sexual power is absolutely destroyed. my brain is absolutely gone. the mental and physical pain is unbearable. i cant even focus on anything. i enrolled in university and dropped out becos i failed. my memory has become so weak from continuous sexual abuse that i cant memorise my lessons. so, i failed in university. that means i cant even get a decent job. i prayed to Allah so many times but he never listened. he never cared about me. he never reduced my pain and never gave me any justice. for the last 8 years, my life is hell. everyone that i have helped have exploited me. I dont think that Allah cares about the weak and vulnerable. he only cares about the strong. he only gives more to the people that have already have more. he only give to people like justin bieber, eminem, lionel messi, donald trump who insult His name and who insult islam and dont pray to him. i thought that Allah was most merciful. but he is only merciful for ungrateful people that dont pray to him or supplicate to him. so, now i have stopped caring as well.

  7. Quick to judge and compare yourself to the so called ones Allah is rewarding, if someone steals 1000 dollars and they are successful in it , does it mean Allah helped them in acheving harm? Do you think they will not be punished on the last day? Some people just cant see their blessings and want all the wordly good then when they dont get it they are like "Why Allah gave them this and that but not me" Why does it matter what Allah gives to someone else? Maybe Allah is saving something alot better then what they get for you in jannah. Allah does not help those who dont help themselves. can you go write a test without studying and rely on duas only to help you pass the test? Isnt it a good thing discovering that your being cheated on compared to being cheated on and not knowing about it. The fact that the cheaters true colors came out of the closet , itself can be a blessing from Allah. who wants to spend their whole life living with a cheater and not know about it.

    • Thank you demise. Excellent points.

      Wael Editor

    • demise, how about someone who has been continuously sexually violated and harassed so much from childhood that he has become physically and mentally handicapped. his mind id destroyed. how do you justify Allah's actions towards that kind of person. i am one such person. i have been denied everything since my childhood. didnt get parental love when i was just a little kid. received exploitation from everyone that i have dealt with and was regularly sexually violated and molested in my early teenage. now, my libido is destroyed. i am only 24 and my bones have already become brittle because of serious loss of hormones. sometimes, i have these uncontrolled urges to take a weapon and kill everyone around me. sometimes, i feel extreme impulses to take a knife and cut my private parts because of extreme pain in that area. my mind is destroyed too. i cant behave like a normal human being and always paranoid. cant trust a single human being. now please enlighten me what kind of test is this from Allah and how he will ever give me justice.

  8. This is one of those posts that I can understand since I am in a very similar situation.
    Its so hard to tell yourself that things will be okay or not comparing becuz this is just a part of human nature.
    A person that doesnt go through it may not exactly no but please help me understand how can ones heart find peace when there suffering like this. Sometimes I dnt have an answer or wonder when my mother or sister say that how come others have this and we are still where we are? I dnt think Allah shows favor to some and not to others but then again how can we understand this?

  9. Assalam alaikum,

    Faith. Faith has a high price. Do you suppose a car could pay for it? What about a house? What about the innocence of a child in their childhood or the trust a spouse has for another? What is the price of Faith in Allah?

    Faith is that which remains with you when all else has failed you again and again--in other words, it can't be bought even when you have been left deserted.
    Faith is that which remains with you when you are stripped of all.
    Faith is that which remains with you when you have no use for it in your life.
    Faith is that which remains with you when only success knocks at your door or when only failure knocks at your door.
    Faith is found in the darkest of places and it is found in the greatest of places. Faith is the thing that ties you with your Creator and all other attachments only detach you from your Creator.

    Faith isn't something is proven by the car you drive, the house you live in, the watch you wear, the cell phone you carry, the powerful friends you have or don't have, faith is not a thing. Faith isn't to be belittled into those things we can count. Faith isn't connected to your suffering or your success, it is connected to your last breath that you breathe and to every breath that you breathe.

    Faith in Allah has nothing to do with how great your life is or how horrible it has become. Faith has no price and yet is priceless. Stop putting a price on it. You can't put the price of your suffering for your Faith in Allah or the loss of your wealth or the loss of your health or the loss of your home or anything else.

    Your pain, your suffering all these things some are lessons some are useless suffering--and some of it is unfortunate. No one can deny these things. But, if you want to ask Allah why--perhaps it means you are still rich because you question the One that you still believe in.

    When it is horrible and bad and you think there is no one, there is. There is Allah. When you sigh, with a heavy heart, with your faith in your hand, try to say Alhumdulillah, close your eyes, and believe in Him and be ready to change your tomorrow. Nothing is easy, even for the ones it seems easy for.

    May Allah swt ease your pain and the pain of your family and your loved ones. Ameen.

  10. asalamu aleikum
    bro u know every soul in this world is tested in one way or the other.i personally iam a victim of mother in law and i had to vacate from that country to live a peaceful life alhamdulillah i thank for enabling me move oceans away from her.bro this tribulations will come to pass just like water passing under the bridge.Allah never burdens asoul beyond its coup take heart be strong enough to fight your soul and sheytain in order to please Allah most high.start counting your blessings and believe me you will realize your blessings outweigh your sorrow only if you choose to please Allah.
    stop being envious this vice destroys people terribly.come back to Allah and repent for asking such silly query.
    may Allah ease your difficulty .inna maal usri yusra verily after every difficulty there is an ease .
    sorry if i sounded harsh.

  11. On the authority of Abu Huraira (R.A.A.) who said: The Prophet (PBUH), said: "Look upon one who is below you in status. In this way you will not look down upon the grace of that God bestowed upon you." (Bukhari and Muslim)

    On the authority of Abu Abbas Sahl Bin Sa'ad Al-Sa'idi (R.A.A.) who said: 'A man came to the Prophet (PBUH) and requested him: "Messenger of God (PBUH), tell me something by which I could win the love of The Almighty and the people." The Prophet told him, "Do not love the world, and The Almighty will love you; and do not have a longing for that which people have, and they will love you."' (Ibn-Majah)

    On the authority of Ibn 'Umar (R.A.A.) who said: The Messenger of God (PBUH) caught my shoulder and said: "Be in the world as if you are a stranger or a traveler." (Bukhari)

    Write these down on your fridge or in your room and it will serve as a important reminder

    • demise, but i have nobody below my status. i am a human being of the lowest status. lost everything that i had. nobody loved me ever. my own parents left me. had to live with a bunch of bloodsucking relatives who ruined my life. got sexually molested, exploited and harassed by many people including the ones that i lived with since my childhood. have suffered from severe undernourishment and poverty. continuous sexual abuse has destroyed my mind and body. i have hurt my own body parts to not feel pain. now my brain and mind both is gone. i got nothing. not a college degree, no physical capability. nothing. i will never be able to marry because my physical powers are gone. my brain is in continuous pain and my private parts are powerless. lost everything. and i am only a 24 year old young man. now pls tell me how i will move forward in life and how i can be grateful to Allah after all this. should i commit suicide? btw i dont love the world. i hate it. i feel like killing everyone. so, is there any hadith of prophet that applies to the lowest kind of human being like me? because i dont see any of Allah's blessing in my life. all i see is betrayal and exploitation. Allah has cursed me to see the worst things in this world. who will give me justice huh? nobody in this world can judge me. only Allah can judge me.

      • md abdullah, all that you have experienced is sad and tragic, no doubt about it. But the saddest thing of all is that you have lost your faith. If you had faith in Allah, you would have something precious and valuable that will save you in the aakhirah, no matter your condition in this life. The one who arrives on Yawm al-Qiyamah with faith in Allah is the true winner.

        If you had faith in yourself, maybe you could find a way forward in life. Instead of focusing on everything you do not have, or whatever pain you have experienced, you could focus on whatever possibilities exist for you in life, and find something you can do.

        If you had faith in others, you might be open to love, and might find a good woman to marry one day.

        Faith, brother. That is the key to everything.

        Wael Editor

        • Wael, how do you now that i lost my faith. i know that Allah is out there. but this faith has never done me any good. all i have ever seen is pain and bullshit. now, imagine yourself in my position that i have continuous pain in my private parts as if someone is banging with a hammer, continuous pain in the brain that i feel like there is some object hovering inside. cant concentrate on even the normal functions, extreme frustration because i have lost everything, extreme disgust because of the violent abusive memories that i cant forget. how do you think i should behave like. its too easy for you to say that i have lost my faith and i will go to hell because you dont know what i have been thru. you probably are happily married with a bunch of kids that are class toppers. so, when someone with my case comes online and makes a comment, you people call me ungrateful to Allah and make a reply from your perspective. instead of trying to give me some advice on what i should do, you attacked my faith. its not the characteristic of a muslim. muslims are better and wiser than this. btw u just told me i shouldnt focus on what i dont have. man i got nothing. i dont even have physical powers and control of my own mind most of the times. it gets outta control and i become a madman. this is when i feel like choking myself to death or cutting my private parts because of the extreme pain and frustration. too easy for you people to pass judgments on others because you havent been molested and sexually violated at the age of 16 and survived. now u probably gonna tell me to go to a doctor or counsellor. been there done that. nobody in this world can help me. this world is dead for me. the only little hope i got left is of jannah and you are trying to take that away from me too by making these false allegations of faithlessness. i havnt yet committed suicide because of this little faith. the most painful thing is that nobody will even listen to my case and my pain because according to them i am a filthy lowlife and a threat to the society and their family. they fear that i might do the same to their children or little ones. so, i am a recluse filthy lowlife whom everyone has abandoned including Allah.

          • Asalamualaykum Brother Abdullah,

            You are not a "lowlife." Nobody is a lowlife. That is simply not how Allah created us. Allah created each and every one of us with such purpose. But your mind is stuck in a negative thinking cycle, and that is not your fault. Several mental illnesses include that kind of thinking as a symptom, and it is absolutely treatable, or at least made better.

            You absolutely need to go back to the psychiatrist and see a therapist/counselor. Did you comply with any medications that they gave you last time? Because finding the right medication (which by the way is out there because Allah promises that "for every disease there is a cure") does not happen overnight. You need to try and try until you find one, two, even three or four that work. Sometimes it takes months or even years, but if you don't get started, you will never feel better.

            Allah helps those who help themselves. Inshallah, if you go to the doctor, you will heal by the will of Allah sooner rather than later, Ameen.


          • Nor, well i am a lowlife. i agree Allah didnt create me as a lowlife. but he made me a lowlife through my experiences. i know Allah has given cure for every disease and my cure is in his hands. if he doesnt want to cure me, i cant be cured. this is where he is doing injustice to me because he is not curing me. i have been sick like this for years. its not just my mind that is sick, my brain, my private parts, my bones everything is damaged. at least i could have received treatment for my physical sickness. but i dont have that financial capability. the saddest part is that no one is there for me to comfort me with guidance. i cant even share these pent-up feelings and emotions with anyone.

          • Faith is not just knowing that Allah is out there. Faith is knowing in your heart that Allah is merciful and just, and that Allah will give you everything you deserve in the aakhirah, and that Allah wants good for his believing servants, not harm. Faith is trusting in Allah's intentions and being glad to meet Him.

            Brother, people here are trying to advise and comfort you, but repay their kindness with accusations and insults.


          • wael, i am extremely sorry if i have rubbed you up the wrong way with my behavior brother. its just that i am not used to decent behaviour. its difficult for me to behave decently because my horrible experiences have made me a filthy indecent human being. its sometimes extremely difficult for me to have faith in Allah's intentions because of my pain. I know he is out there but most of the times i feel like he wants harm for me because there is no let-up in my physical and mental pain. the pain only goes away for little period of time and it comes back again with full force. i even begged him to take me from this world and at least throw me in hellfire if he doesnt want to put me in paradise. but at least take me from this world. he just wont listen to my supplications. he will neither take me from this world nor will he cure my severe pain. anyone in my situation would have either committed suicide or completely lost faith in him. but i have done none.

      • md abdullah,

        You are angry. At everything. You are in pain. That is understandable.

        However, there is always hope. There is always a reason to fight back. But you have to start from yourself. You call yourself a low-life? Fine, then build yourself up, step by step. Fight. THIS is YOUR jihaad. Fight with your circumstances. Fight your anger. Fight your hopelessness. Fight your sickness. Fight to live a life that is not only happy but fulfilling. Fight for your own sake. SHOW everyone that hurt you that you are stronger than them. SHOW them that you can be happy, calm and content despite what was done to you. SHOW them you can live, InshaAllah. Always trust Allah Subhanawataalah, and never stop praying no matter what.

        As sister Nor has said, please go back to the psychiatrist or a counselor. Get medication if needed. They can definitely aid you in getting better, InshaAllah. But you yourself have to tame the best inside.

        I am extremely sorry for what you have been through and I will pray that Allah Subhanawataalah will grant you relief and happiness in this dunya and the Akhira, InshaAllah.

        • WarGlaives,

          salam brother. thanks for your kind-hearted words. yes i need the mental toughness and strength to bounce back. you will be shocked to hear that i was one of the brightest students in my country once. there was a time when i used to dream of going to university of Harvard or MIT. i wanted to be a world renowned economist or a chartered accountant. then all these happened. i had the potential to become a superstar. even though i was denied many things in my childhood, my parents left me and i didnt receive the kind of love and attention a typical kid is expected to receive, i was still an extremely bright student though my own efforts and hard work. but damned evil rapists and pedophiles destroyed me. its really hard for me to recover because i simply cant accept my reality. all my dreams have been shattered into pieces. hopefully i will try to bounce back and will become a good loyal servant to Allah Swt.

        • WarGlaives,

          i still remember how bright and talented i was. even my teachers used to be scared of me because sometimes i would ask such intellectual questions in the class that would even baffle them and shame them. most of the times they would fail to answer my questions and they would avoid me because of that. i always showed to my classmates how intellectually superior i was to my peer groups, my teachers and even people way older than me.i was more knowledgeable than many of my teachers. i had memorised the oxford dictionary when i was still very little. i was a prodigy of accounting, economics, and english. when still in class 9 in my school, i was studying university level books on my own. i had achieved so much at such a young age that i commanded huge respect from everyone. these memories hurt me a lot. so, after all these years of pain when i realise how much i have lost and i could have become a global sensation if only those rapists didnt destroy me, i really struggle to accept my reality. i have nothing now. no university degree, no permanent job nothing. my body causes me serious pain. i wont be able to marry either because of my physical disabilities. its extremely difficult to live. i am just hoping that Allah swt will compensate me for all my pain in the day of judgment. thats why i am still living and havent committed suicide. i want to be more rich in the afterlife than all the billionaires combined in this world. i want extremely beautiful wives and a kingdom in jannah. i want extremely good food because i have suffered so much in this world from starvation and undernourishment. i want Allah Swt to rebuild me an extremely good body with handsome youthful looks again. i want justice for all the exploitations and oppressions by the evil people. i am counting on Allah's promise in the Quran that he will administer justice to everyone even to the size of a jarrah. so, i will be patient inshallah

          • Md Abdullah,

            It is incredibly hard to be in your position, specifically because you had so much going for you. You had a longer way to fall from all that, and lost a high position. But this is your test. No one has it smooth sailing all the time. And Allah is testing you to the max because he has promised you all that you have so eloquently described...if you only remain patient and persevere.

            You are grieving. Grieving is not just something we do when someone close to us dies. Close to where I live, a mother and daughter lost every last thing they own, including their entire house, to a fire. A fire that originated in the home adjacent to not even due to their own negligence. They are grieving intensely. Neighbors are offering up items and home goods to them. Similarly, people on this forum are supporting your in your grief. It is not just the pain of your current situation and physical problems that you are suffering from, but the loss of so much from your previous highly-endowed life.

            As we get older, we all lose certain abilities to illness, to memory loss, to physical aging. We therefore are not MEANT to be doing everything that we DID in our youthful years. That would be impossible. Rather, we are to start specializing in certain areas and letting go of other dreams we had for ourselves. This may sound depressing, but it's reality, and it can actually lift your burden if you ponder over it.

            Try to manage just a couple of things, a couple of pursuits a day. Even Allah did not create everything in one day! Today, take your shower and make some tea and some dinner. Tommorow, open your mail and go to the bank. The next day, call someone you know or send them a "hello." The day after that, write down your symptoms and make a doctor's appointment over the phone.You see? It needn't be difficult. Go easy on yourself, practice self-love and self care, and before you know it, you will realize that you have been living life again instead of just thinking about not being able to.

            I really feel for you and you have explained your difficulties in much detail. Now it's time to let go and let some unknown energy enter your life. Be open to surprises. They happen every day. Inshallah Allah will guide you step by step on your way, Ameen.


          • md abdullah,

            I hear you, brother. You lost everything.

            But you still have yourself and you will always have Allah Subhana Wataalah as long as you keep asking Him for help.

            Rise from the ashes, step by step. Rebuild your heart, mind, soul and body. Reconnect the pieces of you that were shattered. Learn to channel your pain into strength rather than suffering and hopelessness. You have the potential to be greater than all of us because of the harshness you have experienced. Remember the harsh trials of our Prophets, and remember the degree of respect Allah has bestowed upon them.

            Sister Nor has given some very practical suggestions, MashaAllah. Start small, and be consistent.

            "Our flaws and sufferings are what ultimately give our lives true meaning, as our overcoming of them is what makes us grow and reinvent ourselves each time. That is why a silver soul shines brighter than gold."

          • WarGlaives, Nor

            assalamualaikum brother and sister. peace and blessings from Allah SWT be upon you. thank you for your kind words. appreciate your advice. i will try to act upon your advice. i indeed need to change. i cant remain stuck in a rut because i will only keep losing more and more if i dont change. i been recently trying to get back to university. they might allow an irregular student to complete the failed courses with a massive fine. if its not possible, i will try to transfer my credit to another university. but it will also cost me a lot of money which i dont have right now. May Allah Swt help me with this money. i really want to complete my bachelor at least. please pray for me. also my heart goes out to the poor mother and her daughter who lost their house to fire. may Allah Swt give them patience.

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