Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Wife or parents?


I married my husband 15 years ago and have 3 kids. It was a marriage against his family as he was previously married.. I regret what I did and ask for repentance from Allah SWT. But his 1st wife accepted. He mother on the other hand never liked me and never will! He's never really treated me as a wife, it's more like I'm the carer for his kids.

He's parents are able bodied but are getting old so he has decided to leave me and our kids and move in full time with his parents. He has been living there day and night, paying for there bills, holidays etc..

he has other siblings and sister in laws but no one wants to live there as the mother in law is not a very nice person.

im so confused to what I should do? I would go and live there if they were OK with me but that's not the case. He says that his parents come first in Islam so he will stay there and serve them. So what about mine and my kids right? I feel I've been betrayed and treated very unfairly? Is what he is doing right?


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2 Responses »

  1. Well if he doesn't take care of them his parents are going to be on the streets. I think you should move in with your children althought you said they are not nice but as long as they don't abuse you than you are fine. The are old and your husband as a good heart to take take of them. I understsnd you and you children but his patents are also his obglinton to take care of of them and you too of course. See if there is a way if not move in maybi move closer together in same area or neighborhood.

  2. He can't abandon his wife and children, he simply cannot. Doesn't matter how weak and fragile his parents are.

    He cannot abandon his parents, he simply cannot. Doesn't mater how young his children are and how much his family depend on him,

    So now we've established that he can't abort either relationship, he has to find a way to meet both criteria. Common sense to the average person says you all live together. But that may well not work, so the only option I see is to share your time as best you can, not to neglect either. If that still isn't enough, then that won't be your fault. Let's say he works 8 hours a day 5 days a week. He could spend 2 eveninngs and 1 full weekend day with his parents and maybe take the kids over as well. The rest of the time and the nights must be spent with the wife, for obvious reasons.

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