Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I will definitely commit suicide if I don’t get my love back


I am a female muslim girl who was in a relationship with a guy but had a break off a year back. heavy heart, chained heartSince that day I had been praying badly to Allah so that he could come back to me again and if we could be together again. But it seems fetching me no positive response.

I love him a lot and can't afford to lose him. I had been offering namaz n salat-i-hajat for same purpose.

Please can you suggest me some dua or some way that I would win his heart again and we could be together again. This is the person whom I want to  marry and if I dont get him then I'm gona commit suicide, thats for sure coz i cant think of my life without him. And with anyone else.

Please help me to get this guy back. I'm alive with the hope that probably I would get him back at some point of time. The day this hope dies, I'm also gonna die.

Please don't ignore this, I really need help.

For God   sake

Suggest me some dua plz 4 the same..

- helpless

Tagged as: , , ,

24 Responses »

  1. Dear helpless,

    I know this might be a hard time for you, but several girls have gone through what you have gone. I, personally, have felt love before and have felt like committing suicide. This must be your first love and therefore it is hard to accept the fate of this love -- that it might just not be eternal. It's hard to forget all those dreams. But, believe it or not, just as you feel this way, many have before you and you may feel this way again in your life. This is normal, and you will overcome it. The world lives, people dying everyday from hunger or war, and yet they keep living. Women are made widows and children made orphans, yet they keep living, and so should you. Love Allah (SWT) and do not think of suicide, as He (SWT) does not like it, and you will have to occupy yourself. Transmit all these emotions from negative to positive energy.. pick up a hobby, or strive to excel in your studies and work. Every time you feel like you are thinking of him, immediately get up and go see friends, or study, or whatever.

    I hope my humble advice will help you. In time, your eyes will see, and with age comes wisdom.

    Your sister,


    • Thank you "Anonymous" (maybe time to choose a user name?) for this excellent advice. You've understood what the questioner is feeling, offered a broader perspective, reminded her of her obligation to Allah, and offered constructive suggestions, all in one short comment.

      "Helpless", please also read my page on suicide, included on this website:

      Suicide in Islam


      Wael Editor

    • i personally went through the same, but what can one do. My marriage failed despite a good outcome of istikhara. I miss my wife very much and i love her.

      Nothing is eternal, sometimes parents back out on their children. Childern dont know their parents.

      it's ahker zamaan, divorses will be a common thing.

      was salaam and kudahafiz

    • Why don't Allah help those with susidal thought ? Why dont Allah prevent someone from self harm? Why Allah trouble us so much that we look at death like a solution? Why Allah should punish those who kill themselves due to problem , heartbreak or misunderstanding when Allah did not sort out their problem and neither give their relationship a chance? .

      Not everyone who have support in this world....,.and they broke down like me
      I hate living in this world full of stranger,,..........I am all alone and RRB has leave me to die .....
      No hope ,................where is allah

      • Sharfaa, why doesn't Allah take away all our problems so we have no sadness? In fact, why doesn't he let us be born in Jannah from the beginning, so that we experience no difficulties? Or he could create us as beings of light, obeying Allah in everything, never committing sins, so that we have no pain or sadness?

        Such beings already exist. They are angels.

        We are human beings. We live on earth. Life is difficult. This is the reality, and the way of things. It's not Allah's job to take away all or problems. We need those problems to grow, to learn, to become stronger and to build our imaan. Jannah is not a gift freely given. It is earned through faith and patience.

        Since when is it Allah's job to sort out relationship problems? That is YOUR job. Take some responsibility for your own life. Allah has already given you all the tools you need. He gave you life, intelligence and a heart. Stop expecting Allah to do everything for you. Allah will help you, but you must do your part as well. Allah does not change a person's condition until he changes himself.

        Wael Editor

        • I have tried to commite sucide twice but I had lie to myself in order to live but 4 how long.....
          it is very difficult 4 me to live...............................................
          I have lossssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
          plz tell allah to help as he is not listening to me..............................

          I had told him that I am not able to handle myself anymore but he is not listening...........
          I also told him that I will try my best to to every thing he want

          why allah is not helping me ................

          I am always alone then why allah is hurting me so much............................
          I don't know what to do

          some time when we ask allah rfor help he don't respond ......................................
          does it means allah want that person to die.....................then why not help

          • sharfaa, please read my page on suicide, included on this website:

            Suicide in Islam

            I won't repeat everything I've written there, but in response to your comment that Allah is not helping you or responding to your prayers, I say, how do you know? We do not always see the answer to our prayer right away. Also, Allah sometimes gives us something different than what we asked for, because he knows what we need better than we do. It may be that Allah answered your prayer by protecting you from an even worse situation that would have resulted.

            You should never think that Allah is hurting you. Allah gave you life, security, food and drink. He cares about you and wants good for you. But you also must do your part.


          • im in the same situation as you. I've tried to self harm quite a few times before. first it was over someone u didn't love me back even though he knew my feelings. but gradually I tried to forget him as I knew that I won't be with him ever.
            secondly I sometimes try committing suicide cuz of my family. I get really stressed and depressed due to them. I wouldn't say I'm perfect and I dontt make mistakes because I do but I hate the fact that I get abused.
            when I went abroad for family wedding I met my cousin after 9 years and I gradually started talking to him and we were good friends too. we both started developing feelings for each other without knowing and he confessed his love to me. we started loving each other a lot gradually. before when I was meant to return we were really upset and we've hugged and kissed before too but I now know that it was wrong for us. we wanna marry each other as we're that serious about each other. his parents agree and my mum too but my dad doesn't. I really hurts me. my family never really supported me. I feel that in my family girls are treated quite differently to boys and this fact hurts me a lot. I question myself asking where have I gone wrong in life that I dont ever get the happiness I want??
            I seriously gave up on myself and I tried to self harm because of all this.when my dad found out about us he abused me to the fact that I was bleeding. my mum hits me for still messaging him but I can't stop. because I love him more than myself and he literally means the world for me.
            he's done a lot for me already. the fact that my parents hit me hurts him a lot. I decided to tell him my feelings and that I self harm. he was really hurt for not telling him before and he stops me from doing these kind of stupid things now.i could then gradually share all my feelings with him and I know that he can't see me in pain. I decided to stop for him because he said to me that if I hurt myself he would do the same and I dont to see him in pain cuz of me. im really lucky that he came in my life. if he wasn't there for me then I would have taken my life a long time ago. I realise that It was wrong of me to try self hurting myself.

  2. thanks "anonymous" nd "wael" 4 all your precious advice.. i really felt light hearted after reading your responses..
    but you did not mentioned anything about any duaa or any way which can bring my guy again...
    will salah-tul-hajah not work to fulfill my dua...??
    plz tell me some dua...plzz

    • Dear Helpless, Asalaamualaykum,

      Part of being a Muslim is that our goals in life are to: please Allah, the efforts we make to achieve things are within Islamic guidelines and we need to train ourselves to accept the outcome of our good efforts as Allah's Will and Decree - Qadr. Believing in Qadr is one of the articles of faith.

      I feel that your way of thinking is causing you more distress than not actually having this man in your life. While you are intent on wanting to damage or kill yourself if you do not get what you want, nothing we say will help you. This type of thinking is not from Islam, by thinking like this, you are rejecting that Allah(swt) is the one who has the final Decree in all matters. Furthermore, committing suicide is a major sin in Islam.

      All our good duas are answered by Allah in one of three ways:
      1) Allah gives you what you want in this life;
      2) Allah does not give it to you and is thus saving you from a calamity it would have brought you, as Allah knows what we do not; ('Verily Allah is the All Knower of everything." (8:75))
      3) Allah will answer your dua on the day of Judgement, and on the Day of Judgement will we all be in dire need of any blessing. So Alhumdulillah...

      "Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us." [Surah At-Taubah – Ayah 51.]

      Hadith of Gabriel: When the angel asked what is eemaan, the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said 'Eemaan is to believe in Allah His angels, books, messengers, day of judgement and Al- qadar the good and bad' (Bukhari, Muslim)

      Hadith of Jabir: 'No slave of Allah will truly believe until he believes in Al Qadr its good and bad from Allah, until he knows that what has befallen him was not going to miss him and that what missed him was not going to befallen him.'(Tirmidhi)


      "Then whosoever wills let him believe, and whosoever wills, let him disbelieve."
      [Surah Al-Kahf Ayah – 29.]

      Please read the following on duas:

      SisterZ Editor

  3. and flip of if you dont allow my comments in defense of islam u dumb owner of this websitei dont care if u allow or not i dont get anything herei only give not take so dont tryna act like u r great u stupid dont aprriciate my comments i dont wnat u to u dumb ass i am that lovemakelifebeautiful to whom u said its not debate etc here u ugly dumb gilr the owner of this site

    • Well, you showed your real character with that one, bro. How disappointing.

      Wael Editor

    • oh my God, this is shame to be called muslim and being so rude and so bad character. u should say sorry and regret what you said, but would be miracle if u do so. u sound to be really mean and bad hearted. allah help u

      • He's just young. He's 18 years old and he posted some good comments, but there were a few comments that I did not allow because I felt they were not helpful. I emailed him about it, and what you see above was the response. Unfortunately some teenagers don't have much emotional control. I certainly did things as a teenager that I regret. But I won't allow any more of his comments after this.

        Wael Editor

  4. salaam,
    i had tried 4get him n my past..but at the end of the day i found that i cant 4get him... i tried every way suggested by you all...
    plz tell me what shud i do..?? shall i continue wid salt=e-hajah...or shall i stop...????????

  5. I totally understand u helpless can i ask what was the reason u both broke up?n how old r u both?and how long have u been together for?

  6. don't do it. think properly. u were not send for him.

  7. dear sis (helpless)
    ive gone through exactly the same situation , i was madly in love with somebody and later he cheated on me and now he is engaged to another girl. and its almost an year now. i wont lie to u i still do feel hurt but u know what now ive realised that it was better for me, a person who doesnt have the eye to see ur love, who doesnt have the heart to feel it than why u want such person in ur life??? dont u think u also need someone who can love u and also want u in his life? there will be surely one for you. dont let urself die for succh person who doesnt worth it, and lets suppose if u commit suicide than do u think it will make any difference to him ??? NO !!! the only ppl who gonna suffer will be ur parents, the mother who gave birth to u the father who looked after u, and the sis n bro who loved u, will they ever be able to forget u ? it was u who chose such person than doesnt even worth a single tear of ur. in all this situation where was ur parents at fault? live for ur parents, make them happy , and am sure you will find an inner peace. those who truely love never let their beloved die with each passing day........... u worth a better person and inshALLAH your parents will surely find that perfect one for you 🙂 stay blessed

    • Asalaamalakum, dear muslims I was on the web looking for Dua's for my son who passed away at the tender age of 20, and I felt what annie said in her post was true the only people who suffer are the family, to say im devastated is a understatement.. but Allah has given me the sabar Alhamdulilah, I would like to add that my son was soft hearted truthful and beautiful inside and out, too good for this filthy world which is why Allah took him into his care may Allah give him jannah,Ameen. the girl he loved is with another ...he has been buried all but two weeks, this was there son slipped and fell to his death but was out with this girl who was a kaffir he was led astray, he was in bad company, young people contemplating suicide for there 'love' plz dont do it as this feeling too shall pass, plz think of ur mothers every day i wake up with pain in my heart and i sleep with that same pain,the only thing that keeps me going is my iman that one day soon inshallah i will meet my beloved child in Jannah. a lone sheep away from the flock will be devoured by the wolf. may Allah bless the muslim youth of today and make them strong in there deen and keep them away from the ills of western societies and the kafirs Ameen.

      • I do understand ur pain as I know someone who lose his son and I cant stop thinking about how her feeling was hurt when I had talk to her about it....may allah give ur son and her son Jannat.............. inshallah

  8. Its true Im going through the same situation but like its said that Allah wrote our fate even before we were born so maybe the quicker we accept Allah the better we will get up in our lives!! i know its tough my love cant stand by me but i just have to accept that he was never strong enough so why kill your self over it! jus follow Allah n im sure Allah will give you whats best for you!

  9. ...

    [Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah. Please write your post in English rather than in text speak, as it can be difficult for people to understand the abbreviations.]

  10. i,am also suffring from the same problem.i dont know why allah is doing like this.he himself says that ask me whatever u want even u want a salt ask me.but what we want why he don't also tired of living this type of life i cant hold onn much longer 🙁

  11. No offense, but you sound like a massive and obnoxious brat. "If I don't get my way, I will kill myself". What kind of arrogant, narcissistic, self-absorbed and selfish attitude is that?! Children display this kind of behaviour, not adults. Literally, my 5 year old nephew threw a tantrum yesterday because his mum told him he can't buy a 1 kg box of chocolate to eat for dinner. He threatened to not come home with her if he didn't get his chocolate. You are doing the exact same thing as my 5 year old nephew. Grow UP. Pull yourself together, woman, and learn life isn't ALL about YOU and YOUR wants and needs. You can't FORCE people to give you what you want, and you CERTAINLY can't pressure GOD into obeying YOU. It's the other way around, I should remind you: YOU obey GOD.

    Also, please stop acting so desperate for one man. Why would you kill yourself over a person that doesn't want you? Why would you go out of your way to find prayers, magical potions and spells that you can cast on a man to force him to be with you? Have some pride in yourself. And maybe try see the positive of this situation: Maybe God is keeping this man away from you, because he won't be good for you. Why don't you trust Allah enough to accept the path he has cleared for you? There have been times in my life when I have thought God is against me, hates me and wants to see me fail and be miserable. Only to, at a later point, learn that God indeed had a valid, good and loving reason to put me through my hardships. Every single one of them.

    There are billions of men on this planet...if things don't work out with one man, there are plenty of others to choose from. Don't be so fixated on this one person that doesn't want you. I also suggest that you take a good look at yourself and fix your childish, narcissistic and self-absorbed ways. I think it would do you good to do some volunteer work for people that have you can see that your bratty antics really don't matter in the grand scheme of things. Count your blessings, be grateful what you DO have. Not the one thing / person you don't have.

Leave a Response