Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My boyfriend may object to me aborting his baby as he is a devout Muslim

Please help me. I am a non-Muslim British girl and I have been in a relationship with a lovely devout Muslim man  for 2 months. We care a lot for each other and he is planning a trip for us to his home country to introduce me to his family (I have already met his cousins who live here) which I am quite nervous but excited about.fetus sucking thumb, abortion

Sadly today I have found out that I am pregnant. It is far too early to have this happen so I intend to terminate, however I am unsure how he will react if I decide to tell him as I am unsure of Islam's stance on abortion (I am only just learning about the Islamic faith after being at the mosque for Eid).

This concern is making me consider taking care of this discreetly on my own so he does not feel under any pressure to act.

What is the Islamic stance on abortion? Although I am technically Church of Scotland, I consder myself an athiest so do not have any religious issue over the termination, however I fear that he will?

Please, any information will help in my decision.

Kind regards,

- Ruby

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10 Responses »

  1. Hello Ruby83,

    You and your friend are in a difficult situation. First of all, if your boyfriend was a devout Muslim we would not be having this conversation because he would not have had sex with you or anyone else before marriage.

    To answer your question concerning abortion, Islam does not allow it. However, there is one exception and that is if the mother's health and life is at risk. In that case then it is permissible to abort.

    I would suggest that you discuss this with the father of this child. The two of you made a decision to have unprotected sex outside of marriage. Now you have to live with and be mature enough to take care of this child when it arrives.

    Take Care.

    Peace!!!!!!

    Abdul Wali
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Thank you Mr Wali for your reply.

      As his mother is now pushing for an arranged marriage I decided it best to terminate the pregnancy without him knowing to ensure this did not bring shame on him and his family.

      I love him very much and it breaks my heart to know that I will soon be without him but his family wish him to marry and he feels he must surrender at some point.

      Being with him has been the most wonderful experience of my life and has opened my eyes to the beuaty of Islam.

      You are all very lucky and loved in your faith.

      All the best xx

  2. In Islam if the embryo has its heart beat it haram to abort. You can abort an embryo before a heart beat arrives, it is then it becomes a soul...And you will have murdered your child.
    I had this same situation. I got pregnant within the 2nd week of me and my hsuband getting married. I was totally shockedand he was devasted! He and I are muslim. I am a convert since june 2009. I met him in May 2010.
    Anyways I told him I was pregnant when I found out and at this point I was 3 days from being 4 weeks which is when the heartbeat starts.
    He begged me in those 3 days to abort the pregnancy. I cried so much. Even though we was not ready to start a family I do not feel its right to abort at any stage, wheter its excepted or not... It took him so long to start talkingt o me. We lived in silence for 2 weeks.
    He came to me and accepted the pregnancy, I am happy o say I am now 24 weeks and 2 days pregnant. And I am expecting to have a baby boy In march that I will be naming Jawad.

    Anyways talk to him, Im sure he will except his unborn child and maybe marriage 🙂
    I wish you the best of luck 🙂 Make sure you make the right descion and dont jump into abortion..

    • I am sorry to say I received your reply all too late. To protect my friend I aborted the embryo without him knowing it even existed. I'm sure my little one would have been beautiful but it wasn't right to do this to my friend.

      • Dear Ruby,

        I am sorry for the confusion you have been experiencing.

        The problem is that your boyfriend is not practising Islam properly. Islam teaches us to respect life, that of the unborn child and that of the one who is living - both muslim and non-muslim. There are etiquettes to male/female relationships in Islam which are set for our wellbeing and for the preservation of morals and manners in society. Every woman deserves to have the love and peace of mind of knowing that she has a man committed to her as her husband.

        Ruby, I hope that you do see the real of beauty of Islam and that a better future lies ahead for you.

        SisterZ
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Thank you very much.

          I am trying to learn more about Islam in an attempt to understand the social side as it is quite complex compared to what I have grown up with.

          I have actually posted a few questions that I truely hope do not offend anyone as it is just my awkward curiosity.

          I have been left more than a little confused by the friendship I have with this person but the more I learn about the social side of things the more I'm understanding.

          Please do not think badly of my friend. He knows that what has happened is wrong and has been repenting. Also he never knew I was pregnant. He did not ask me to abort because he had no knowledge of it's existence. I now understand that our friendship is not considered a good thing. In his defense, he was a tremendously supportive friend during the break down of my marriage and a lot of that support was through him wanting to introduce me to Islam.

          Thank you for your kind words though. I actually really like this site as it's allowing me to learn more about Islam.

          Thank you

          • Dear Ruby,

            Of course we do not mind you asking questions. It is healthy to question, that is the only way that misconceptions are cleared and there are so many surrounding Islam. Yet, Islam is still the fastest growing religion. Since you live in the UK, you may have heard of some of the recent reversions to Islam of British women: Lauren Booth (Tony Blair's sister in law), Kristiane Backer former MTV presenter, Yvonne Ridley award-winning journalist.

            Women are given a very high position in Islam - a woman as an Individual, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Wife etc. Central to all the beautiful laws protecting us is Allah.

            I have noticed that you have submitted two new posts. It could take between a month to two months before they are published as there are alot of questions in the queue

            Best Wishes,

            SisterZ
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Mrs Tabanja,

      My apologies for being so rude. Congratulations on your good news. I wish you, your husband and your beautiful baby when he arrives, all the best for the future xx

  3. He is not a devout muslim man. If he was he would not
    1. premarital
    2.he would not get involved with a non-muslim woman.

  4. I meant he would not have premarital relations.

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