Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Will my in-laws accept my religion?

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Hello and salam,

I am a Christian man married to a wonderful Muslim woman. I know some say our marriage is not valid and that it's haram. We have moved past this as best we can and have a great relationship. My question is how do we tell her parents? I suppose I could avoid them and the subject. But that will only be short term. Plus I won't lie to them. I guess what would you do in my situation? Keep in mind that divorce and conversion are not applicable.

ryan

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6 Responses »

  1. I know its haraam you shouldn't have done it we all stupidly do things we shouldn't even if it is out of love I'm sure if you love her enough you should ideally convert and do it from the sincerity of your own heart and for the sake of Allah swt and his beloved prophet Muhammad s.a.w pbuh if you have love for your wife then convert and make the marriage proper rather lying it gets you no where I'm sure her parents will agree inshallah your will be in my prayers brother

  2. AsSalam Aliakum waRamathullailahai waBarkathu,

    Its notvalid untill unless you won't convert to lslam, as you had mentioned that you won't divorce and convert.From your wife Muslim Point of view it's called Haram until she married to Muslim man than non-Muslim, or without will of parents Nikah it's unvalid.
    Even though you guys convinced to her parents and they accept your marriage then also its Haram. It's better her to leave you or you convert to Islam both are best options for you guys.
    May be you guys not follow, The importance of the belief is Afterlife, as well as a glimpse of what awaits one in the grave, on the Day of Judgment, and at the Final End.So, it's important to follow righteous way of religion, so not be in hell. From you guys family will be built and all deeds done by your kids all Haram, so on the Day of Judgment she ll be punishe able for act, as you guys did.
    I'm ot muslim Scholar, it's point of view may be wrong. Thanks for reading.reading . take care

    • Whatever their kids do has nothing to do with them. If she'd married a Muslim, it's up to the kids to pick their own religion too.

      If I'm wrong in my advice then, Allah forgive me. Bismillah.

      Ryan, I see it like this. If you have some guilt about this and it has lead you to an Islamic website...then maybe in Sha Allah you will consider conversion down the road. Something has guided you here to ask sof dont say conever sion is oUT of the question because people who have actually hated Islam (not saying that you do) have converted. One of them actually was the best friend of our Prophet sws and is a well known leader in Islam. And the Prophet's daught had been married to a non muslim but he actually convertsee later (you should look that story up, its the story of Zaynab and ibn al Aas). *shrug* But I don't know.

      The lesser supported consensus is that it is permissible for Muslim men AND women to non Muslims to marry as long as they are morally upright and practice their own religion correctly and consistently and as long as she is practicing her religion correctly and consistently.

      The general consensus,however, is that the marriage is invalid in the view of Islam. This is because of two reasons that I can think of specifically:
      1. Typically, the man is the care taker in the household and the woman is generally following the man's lead. When a Muslim woman marries a non Muslim man then there is no Islamic direction in the household. You both await punishment in the hereafter, in the view of Islam. If your wife doesn't care about her religion and is "modern" or whatever then you have no problem to worry about then, right?

      2. Your wife and children will not get her rights as Muslims. Now, if you do ever divorce down the line or if you were to pass away, she and your children wouldn't get the rights that they are due. For example, her bride gift, the stipulations that a husband must provide for her upkeep, the proper procedures for divorce etc etc. There are so many.

      Allah Alim

      Hope that helped. In my language, we say "lew dtae" which means "up to you".

  3. Dear Ryan

    Its great to know that you guys love each other so much.. However you have just done thing the very wrong way
    If you really love her .. take your time and study Islam... and yes as my brother mentioned above ... read about the story of Zainab ( the daughter of the prophet SAW) and her cousin and husband Abu Al-aas. a true love story, that will tell you much about situations like the one you are in now

    The Islamic ruling is very clear... whether her parents accept or not, you both are committing a transgression and its against Islamic teachings.

    So if you care about her and her belief, go study Islam and take your time...
    - if its for you then problem solved..
    - if not, then never convert for the sake of just being with her ... God doesn't accept that at all from you .. and you will never be happy.

    there is no other solution ...
    You sound like a gentleman who care about his loved lady .... Now you know how you need to go about it ....
    & i truely hope you are not the kind who doesn't care about her belief ... because you you will be doing her more harm than good if you are ...

    good luck

  4. Whoaaa how did u.marry her without telling her parents. That's really weird.

    • I'm an American when we met I was in the navy. She came to see me several times and we were married by a judge first, but I did convert and we had a Muslim ceremony in Singapore. But I was always a nonreligious individual until about one year ago.

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