Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Women fighting in Jannah?

Whispers in the night

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ


I listened to a youtube video...

A few things bothered me. First of all, it talks about how the women of this world will be much better than the Hoors, but it depends on how much better. That more good deeds you do in this life is what will make you more beautiful than a Hoor, they say. This part bothers me because we all understand that the Jannah is not a place of competition and the Prophet based on some hadiths made it clear that all muslim women who made it to Jannah will be above the Hoors in beauty. Women already have to compete for the attention of their husbands in this life so that they can remain faithful, why does it feel like women have to compete in heaven too? So if a woman happens to do mortal sins in life like gossip or lies but she does her prayers and all, let's just assume a woman happens not to be 100% perfect but still makes it to Jannah, will she still have to compete with a Hoor based on how many good things she did in life? Because that part in the video makes it sound like that. Why is it that men do not have to worry about looking good based on how good of a Muslim they are? Why does Islam makes it look like women all they want from life is jewelry and clothes and beauty when IN REALITY women want those things so that we may look good for THEIR men as well. Even when a woman says she does it for herself, there are many cases as well where it's because they want the attention of the man we love or men in general.

There is this part in the video where it says that the Women of Jannah will call out to the Women of the World and flaunt how they were created in paradise, and brush with golden brushes and how they smell nice and all that and that the woman of this world will answer that she did her prayers and the Hoor didn't, she did her Wuduh and a Hoor didn't, that she fasted and a Hoor didn't. And this is why I'm asking in the title, why do women have to fight in the Jannah too? If the Jannah is PERFECT where NO ILL emotions or thoughts are present and if these Hoors are created in heaven why do they carry in them that same exact sin that women suffer from on Earth if the HADITH mentioned says it? If we make it to Jannah is because of all the sufferings we had to go through in this life, despite all its pleasures we turned to nobody else but God and praised him our lives and cherished our husbands and raised our kids and over here in the western world, not only we have to take care of the husband and the children but many of us have to go out there and work 13 hours a day 6 days a week so that we may be able to assist our husband financially and give our kids a better life. So based from that Hadith, why must God put us in a position where we have to go through a verbal confrontation with the Hoors when we want nothing else but to be with our husbands and family and live in Jannah peacefully? I'm not questioning the Quran, I'm questioning the hadiths in general because a lot of people follow them which makes us no better than those who believe in man-written bible.

The Quran speaks of God being fair and full of mercy, but what was God's intentions when he created the woman? Did God think that the woman should be nothing else but a sexual object for his dominant creation that is the male gender? (Again, inside my heart I know the answer, and I love our Muslim men and I wish them the Jannah with their wives and their families, but I'm putting this question out there as someone who also read so many hadiths that spoke very ill of women. So if someone like me read those, people who want to convert or have a slight interest in Islam will be wondering this too)

I'm sure that God knows best and maybe the Shaytan found a weak point in me now and is using it against me, but it really hurts to read the comments on the internet from men who think that the Jannah will be a place of sexual orgies. It cheapens my gender as a woman, it makes me feel like an insect, unworthy of existence. Seeing how men treat women made me hate being one growing up. I even attempt to undergo a gender change because I hated my sex because of how men think of us. And suddenly, it feels like the suffering of hellfire might be more clement for me than having to go to Jannah and compete against a Hoor who is there to steal my husband when she's just a lazy creation in heaven, has done nothing for God, suffered none for his name yet would say this:

"Houris do not want wives to annoy their husbands, since the houris will also be the wives of the husbands in the afterlife. "Mu’adh bin Jobal (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, ‘A woman does not annoy her husband but his spouse from amongst the maidens with wide eyes intensely white and deeply black will say: Do not annoy him, may Allah ruin you.” He is with you as a passing guest. Very soon, he will part with you and come to us."
Ibn Maja

I didn't know that we were going to have to be threatened by the following hadith, which makes me wonder if it's even real. Who put words in the Hoor's mouth? Why must men use a woman's insecurity to say that THIS IS actually what Prophet or Allah said:

Forgive me if my post is full of blasphemy, but I feel lost right now and I can't stop readin the version of heaven in Christianity and wish if only the Quran spoke of such equality as well.

My source: "Most likely, there will be no marriage in heaven simply because there will be no need for it. When God established marriage, He did so to fill certain needs. First, He saw that Adam was in need of a companion. “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’” (Genesis 2:18). Eve was the solution to the problem of Adam’s loneliness, as well as his need for a “helper,” someone to come alongside him as his companion and go through life by his side. In heaven, however, there will be no loneliness, nor will there be any need for helpers. We will be surrounded by multitudes of believers and angels (Revelation 7:9), and all our needs will be met, including the need for companionship. "

One last thing, is this real? I never thought such important figures will talk in such vulgarity. Men will be busy deflowering virgins? Did God say such a thing? Even if sex will happen in paradise, isn't this another form of degradation for women? Is Jannah a brothel house?

“Verily, the dwellers of Paradise, that Day, will be busy in joyful things” [Yaa-Seen 36:55]

they said, (it means) they will be busy deflowering virgins. Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said, according to a report narrated from him, that “busy in joyful things” means listening to stringed instruments. Abu Haatim said: he misheard the phrase iftidaad al-abkaar (deflowering virgins) and thought it was samaa’ al-awtaar (listening to stringed instruments). In fact the correct phrase is iftidaad al-abkaar (deflowering virgins). (Ibn Katheer, 3/564)

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2 Responses »

  1. Walaikumassalaam, Mashallah.

    "The women of this world will be much better than the Hoors, but it depends on how much better. That more good deeds you do in this life is what will make you more beautiful than a Hoor"

    You got the hadith wrong, sister.

    Even the last one woman to enter Jannah will be far more beautiful than a Hoor, because the Hoor never performed a good deed! that's why a woman of this world says with pride to a Hoor: "We are the fasters (who keep fast), and you are not, we are the prayers, but you are not and we are the givers of charity but you are not.”

    The above expression of happiness is of a woman of this world to a Hoor, not to another woman of this world! However, that's not fighting, it's expression of joy. And why wouldn't you say that with pride to a Hoor? Did the Hoor go through anything like you did in this world?

    But....a pious woman in this world will be more beautiful than a less pious woman of this world and it is fair! because how can you be more beautiful than, let's say, Fathima, or Kahdija (RA). You didn't go through difficulties like them. And also, you will not be jealous of the beauty of more pious of this world in Jannah, because Allah removes all the jealousy from your heart before entering Jannah.

    Umme Salamah (radi Allahu anha) narrates that she said to Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam): "O Rasul Allah, are the women of this world superior or the hoors (of Paradise)?" He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) replied, "The women of this world will have superiority over the hoors just as the outer lining of a garment has superiority over the inner lining." Umme Salamah (radi Allahu anha) then asked, "O Rasul Allah, what is the reason for this?" He answered, "Because they performed salah, fasted, and worshipped [Allah]. Allah will put light on their faces and silk on their bodies. [The human women] will be fair in complexion and will wear green clothing and yellow jewelry. Their incense-burners will be made of pearls and their combs will be of gold. They will say, 'We are the women who will stay forever and we will never die. We are the women who will always remain in comfort and we will never undergo difficulty. We are the women who will stay and we will never leave. Listen, we are happy women and we will never become sad. Glad tidings to those men for whom we are and who are for us.'" [Tabrani]

    ......"Glad tidings to those men for whom we are and who are for us"

    What??? The above hadith says "and who are for us" ??? too? Hmmmm.

    Why is it that men do not have to worry about looking good based on how good of a Muslim they are?

    Again, of course, a pious man of this world will be more handsome than a less pious man, so he would definitely worry about it. For example, can the Prophet (SAW) and another man be equal in handsomeness in Jannah? No.

    "Did God think that the woman should be nothing else but a sexual object for his dominant creation that is the male gender?

    And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. (30:21)

    “Men are the protectors/guardians and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore/so the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to the husband), and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard.” (4:34)

    Men are the maintainers of woman, so if your husband is not your maintainer, then clearly he has lost his rights over you.

    Allâh (SWT) says in the Holy Quran:So (it will be), and We shall MARRY them to Houris (female fair ones) with wide, lovely eyes.[Surah Ad-Dukhân (44):54]

    "But those who believe (in the Oneness of Allâh - Islâmic Monotheism) and do deeds of righteousness, We shall admit them to Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise), abiding therein forever. Therein they shall have Azwâjun Mutahharatun [purified mates or wives (having no menses, stools, urine, etc.)] and We shall admit them to shades wide and ever deepening (Paradise)." [Sura An-Nisâ' (4): 57]

    The word used here is AZWAAJ. In Arabic, it means spouse. Notice, the key word,SPOUSES. The houris (hoors/hurs) will be the wives of Muslim men in Paradise. If a man has sex with his wife, is that fornication? No, of course not, she is his spouse.

    Again, about the version of Christianity. Marriage in Islam is for each other, not just the male:

    "And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. (30:21)"

    And about Christianity, firstly, the bible never claims to be the word of God, so it's all subjective! And we know that objectivity can only come from a true God. So the challenge is you bring a better (true) god than Allah and bring a better messenger than the Prophet (SAW), then you can say "Oh, this is vulgar, that is degradation." But I'll explain it to you how it not at ALL vulgarity or degradation later because I have to go pray Asar Salah now.


  2. Pls sister,just focus on your Paradise,not your husband's one. In your Paradise,you will get whatever YOU want. Allah promised that in Surah Furqan ,16. Read it pls. Also...

    Allah has commanded both men and women:

    Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do.24:30
    And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons, their sisters’ sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.24:31

    Therefore, the command is the same. Than Allaah describes the reward for men (ayahs about hoor) BUT says:
    Is the reward for GOOD [anything] but GOOD?(55:60). Allah says in another ayah:

    Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their private parts and the women who do so, and the men who remember Allah often and the women who do so – for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward.(33:35)

    In this ayah, Allah promiss for woman reward for what?…For Guarding their private parts, so don’t worry, just make du’a to Allah to be concrete and the next time someone tells youR man gets hoor, tell him “the men who guard their private parts and the women who do so

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