Working abroad and lonely
I am staying in Saudi Arabia and my wife is in India, already 2 and a half months are passed but I cannot go to India until my contract finish which is 2 yrs. I miss my wife so much, my mind is totally disturbed now, sometimes I think about societ also. Please help me, how can I control my sexual desire ?
My first child born last month but I can't meet, my sexual desire is also very high but I do not want to do haraam things, alhumdulillah I pray salah 5 times, pls pls pls someone help me, I am very needy for this.
fakhruddin_ahmed
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Dear brother Fakhruddin Asalamoalaikum ,
First of all congratulations for being a new dad mashaAllah.
Right now your mind is just concentrated on one point that for next 2 years you are away from your family, alone and won't be able to see them leading to this dispair.
Instead take it like this ,that it is only few more months here with this handsome pay check,think what you can get for your wife and kid with this money, how this pay check will improve your quality of life and future then you might will like to extend your contract.
Use tengo or Skype to communicate with her frequently ,daily. Try to drown yourself in work, do overtime. You came here to earn better life,so concentrate on it and try to make extra money.
You are in a country that every muslim dream to at least visit once in their life. You can make that dream come true for your family too while you are there and make it your objective to invite your wife to visit Mecca and madinah insaAllah. Visit these places yourself if possible for peace of heart.
Hang around with friends and share your homesickness to vent it out.You will find many people suffering with similar situation .
Best thing is to bring her with you even if it leads to less money saving in long run.
One of my family friend is just like you. I'm not sure of your earning power but the person I'm talking about has low technical job in Arabia.He took his wife and kid with him despite objection of extended family. His explanation was simple that I just cannot live without them .
You know your limits. If above is impossible then isn't it better to just go back to India instead of risking falling in haram and thinking about suicide.
Regarding sexual frustration in men ,there is lot of material and discussion threads on this site to help out.
You will find so many different views on masturbation with references. Go thru those discussions and decide what clicks to your heart.
Good wishes.
This is why husbands and wives, and families, should not be separated. Why are you living in Saudi Arabia, and your wife in India?
Perhaps the solution is for you to quit your job and look for another job in India. I am sure your family will help you out in the meantime. But brother, you obviously know how to use a computer, and you can write in English. Clearly, you have skills that will allow you to get a job in India.
I think that is the solution. Your wife needs a husband, and your child needs a father. Even if you have to take on 2 jobs to make ends meet, you will be fulfilling your obligations as a husband and father if you move back to them.
Seriously, what is Saudi Arabia going to do to you if you quit your job for family reasons -- beat you? throw you in jail?
Let this be a learning experience for you .
Assalam alaikum,
You have a few options:
1) Keep living like this and have patience by fasting, keeping yourself busy, talking to your wife in your spare time.
2) Move back home and accept a possibly simpler life, but with your family.
3) Marry another woman in Saudi. Now, before you consider this, remember, your wife in India is also alone without you, also with those sexual feelings and urges that you have and she is missing you as well.
We can't have everything--so decide literally what you want and what you can have in practicality. Everything has a solution, but everything doesn't have the solution that we want--pray Isthikhara and seek Allah swt guidance, May Allah help you towards the best solution for your family, Ameen.