Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Ya Allah help me get him back

pain healing

Salam brothers and sisters, please help me i have nowhere to turn too i feel lost and torn my chest feels tight and my heart feels numb and eyes are burning from the crying to the point where there is no tears left inside of me.

I have fallen inlove with a christian guy i met spontaneously online in 2012, i was 17 at the time and he was 21, he lives in America and i'm in Australia, this guy has captured my heart since that day i've spoken to him, and till this day i'm still so deeply inlove with him. Allah has blessed me with good looks and good health and a good university degree i am what many might call "have it all" type of girl yet i feel so empty without him and i'm so thankful for what allah has blessed me with alhamdulilallah.

I have a lot of guys who are interested in me some are muslims that are willing to have a serious relationship with me, however i refuse because deep down inside i'm so inlove with this guy whom i used to talk to 24/7 i understand him and he understands me so well we're like the perfect match we have so much in common and have great understanding of one another and i truly believe that he is the love of my life and soulmate he has the qualities i ever wanted in a person which is why i was so shocked and happy when i met him he was exactly what i wished for and imagined i felt like allah sent me the man of my dreams and that he is meant for me and i am meant for him, it's like we are born for one another. He's so lovely, funny, smart and handsome with a big heart and so much more words can't describe.

So drawn to him despite the fact that i have never met him only spoken to him and shared photos and videos (nothing bad) and long hours on the phone talking till passing out to sleep and staying on the phone till we wake up and share every little part of my days with him and he did the same and was always there for me. i was and still am very inlove with him even though he has cut contact with me and hardly ever answers me, he have cried for me (because he knew we can never be together due to my religion and family) wrote me poems and did a lot of wonderful things for me that he didn't need to do them at all and dedicated his time to me and i felt his love across the distance and across our differences but suddenly i have lost him because of stupid things i said and never meant at the time i broke his heart to pieces and i didn't realise till lately how much i am inlove with that guy and how much i long for him and no matter how much i try i can't move on and i can't forget him i feel like he is piece of me that is always with me and never leaves my side, which makes it so hard for me to cop and move on, everything and absolutely EVERYTHING reminds me of him it's sickening and painful.

I have been crying for days and days and my heart is filled with sorrow i'm just so inlove with him and i pray to god to make him mine and make me his one and only, i cant stand the thought of him being with another woman and i don't want any other guy in this whole wide world i'm so inlove and i feel like allah is taking him away from me i feel helpless and broken ya allah please answer my prayers and bring him back into my life.

Brothers and sisters help me i feel so broken without him i feel like there is no point in life anymore please pray for me and him to be together because i honestly can't live without him i feel like i'm going to choke on my tears or die from the heartache allah (SWT) only knows how painful it is, advice me on what to do help me get him back and pray for me and him so allah can make us together forever, under allah's will and acceptance help me please i'm dying, please make prayer and dua for me to get back with him and for allah to guide him to the right path, so we can have a righteous relationship together. Thank you so much brothers and sister for hearing me out, allah reward you all inshallah


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8 Responses »

  1. Hello, I have just read through what you have written and seems like you poured your heart out may Allah help you.

    I think this is a test from God to draw you closer to him in prayer. You have this feeling that I know exactly what it is like. It is really painful
    But praying and talking to Allah on the prayer Matt will help you a lot.

    Read Surah Al Dhua and listen to some patience lectures by Mufti Mink. He is really good at putting you heart at ease with his good words. Pray, pray and pray and I swear Allah will help you. If you do not pray it will become worse. Allah is not doing anything bad to you. He is testing you. Say alhamdulillah and just be really patient in your prayers too.


  2. Salam Sister.
    There is limitation, we cannot control life entirely. we have to live as Allah wish. We can earn but we cannot steal. We can eat but it should be halal. We can eat meat but not pig.We have to shape our life as Allah want. Be sure that what Allah is doing or choosing for us is best for us. Please do not put much effort to find him and ruin your life. If Allah think he is good for you then you will definitely get him. Pray and ask not him, but good things for you and you alone.

  3. Asalam Alekum

    dear sister you already have gotten a good reply.

    My advice is forget about him as he is a Christian.
    I have been through this 3 times in my life, but my stories are different from yours, I met them by coincedence not online, I never spoke to them by phone nor chat.
    it was just that onetime we spoke and they left.
    MashaAllah sister tou are blessed with so many things why ruin your life?
    There are many Muslim men who dream of having a beautiful educated sister like you.

    Dont take Haram relationships as it breaks your reputation, your blessings in akhirah, and brings nothing but misery.

    Wa Salam alekum

  4. Salam LostHope,

    You had an online relationship with this guy which is very different from an in person relationship. Online, everyone looks awesome and you spent that online time with him through the honeymoon phase. If you actually got married to him it would be different. You would have to deal with him going out and doing Christian things, him having friends that are girls that he's close to but doesn't see a problem with. Or that he wants to raise Christian children.

    Before getting crazily in love with this guy you have to see him in person, interact with him and spend a few days together. Real life marriage, with splitting up tasks, running a household, dealing with each other's hobbies is way different than an online relationship where you just talk. And that nonstop talk ends after the honeymoon period, you just run out of things to talk about and each person is just not as interested. Eventually each person has to put in work to keep the relationship running, it doesn't almost run itself as it did when it initially started.

    I'm saying all this because your dream guy is based on fantasy because you don't know enough about him. You haven't been with him in person, you haven't seen him get angry at others, you haven't had any interaction with him other than you two together.

  5. Salaam sister, my ur story is kind of my story my ex husband left me with two kids n I met this muslim guy online he lives in Germany n I live in uk I love him from the bottom of my heart n he loves me too but after I met him he was abit confused about the way I dress up I wear full abaya n covered but he likes someone more stylish I stopped on him smoking less than before closed down his Facebook that he used to chat to other girls but now he seems to be wants a girl more stylish abay is not his cup of tea his just lost n confused I pray more than before I recite Quran everyday I cry I ask Allah (SWT) to give him to me n love me. He has said he will marry me but may be in the future he might marry someone else too so I wasn’t agreed plz brothers n sisters pray for me thanks

  6. Dikr + isthigfar - do compulsory prayers - avoid talking its not good , try to earn the love of Allah , he is the controller of hearts , ask him to turn your heart to a pious person

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