Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Committed Zina with the boy who insulted and abandoned me

Hadith about Zina

Hadith about Zina

I m here as my last resort. I have been stressed from many years. I was with this guy and we were i so called love. We committed the greatest sin that is zinna. I m very ashamed of it now. I belong to a religious family i had been brought up in an environment where i was told about mehram and na mehram concept since i was 12. Even then i committed thus grave sin i knew from the first day that i m not on the right path so i prayed to ALLAH to drag me out of this hell.

Alhamdulillah he did listened to my prayer. Now i seek for forgiveness but i really liked him and wanted him to be a pious man but he never understood or listened to me. So one day i left him because if i were still with him i would be committing great sins. He became miserable and at the end he insulted and abused me and hurt me a lot. I don't care about the insult but i m scared that he was already far away from ALLAH. WHAT IF HE BECOMES EVEN MORE FARTHER AWAY FROM ALLAH BECAUSE I LEFT HIM FOR ALLAH. WHAT IF HE STARTS to hate Islam. I dread this.

I pray that he learns about the consequences of this sin but it hurts. And i m so stressed that what if Allah never forgives me ๐Ÿ™ i m so afraid of this. Its the great regret. I repent and repent. I m so much heart broken. I wanted a man who would understand me . With whom i would talk about ALLAH's manifestation and his creations and miracles. With whom i would express my love for ALLAH. i pray but there is always something which scares me. Help me... i feel sad

Ashley Alvis.

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7 Responses »

  1. Dear sister,

    I can tell you that I have been in a similar situation before where I committed zinna and then I felt terrible then I asked for forgiveness. What the devil did was try to put thoughts in my head like what if she was pregnant or what if she had a disease. I thought I better stay with her until I make sure. Then this zinna mistake kept on being repeated and it dragged for 3 years. She knew I did not show real interest in her so she converted to Islam. But I didnt know if it was for me you converted or was it for Allah. So even that she converted, we kept sinning and it was like a disease that I couldn't get out of it. I planned on leaving her over and over but it didnt work.

    I went on a vacation for 2 weeks away from that environment so I can think better then I came back wanted to change so I prayed to Allah asked for forgiveness but that was not only it. I learned that I can never plan and stop without the help of Allah. So I asked Allah during my prayer to forgive and guide me, I also asked to get married so I can stay away from this sin. I was not financially ready but Allah had plans for me. I got married within 6 months and that girl suddenly after I asked god to guide me, didnt want me anymore. Like something put hate in her heart for me.

    My point is, you made a major sin and part of being forgiven we need to be away from that sin. Away for anything related to it or anything that will remind us of it. If that person does not have the right intentions, do not waste your time in this cycle of sin.

    Allah guides whoever he wants and it's not up to you to make him hate islam. If Allah wants to guide him, he will. You have to let go.

    Finally, humans are weak and a sin can become addictive. If you keep telling yourself you will stop and go back to it again and again then ask Allah to keep you away from it. Let him know your weak and you need guidance because you will not be able to do it on your own without the guidance of Allah.

    Thank you sister and may Allah guide us all

  2. Salamis sister
    Just do loads of istigfar. Read all your namaz and recite the quraan.
    Allah Is the most merciful and forgiving he only wants you to ask him and repent.
    I know all this right now sounds like "yeah but how?? I have been in the same boat but in my struggle all I knew that Allah swt has always been by my side.
    I have become a lot stronger in my Imaan. And even if shaitaan leads me to the wrong way Allah swt guides me to the right path.
    I believe praying to Allah swt and doing ziker has really put the spot light on me. I'm never alone, Alaah is allways with me

    Pray and keep on praying you will surely see the signs of forgivness
    Google duas they are really useful

  3. Salaam Sister

    It is not your assignment to show this boy what it means to be a good muslim and a pious man. This is the task of his family. It is not even permissible for you to show him how to live a proper islamic life, so why do you feel Allah won't forgive you if you don't go back to him?

    InshaAllah Allah subhana wa ta'ala will show him the way. As for you, get back on track, make istagfir and pray your duas with tears. You will be fine insha'Allah

    Wa Allahu Alam

  4. Sister your situation is like mine , I was in a relation with a girl and I wanted to show her about Islam but I made the great sin with her (zina).

    Now alhamdoliallah I realize that it's not correct to use haram relation and try to do something good , it can't happens ever. Haram is haram sister . You are a woman and it's not your job to help him cause if you try that so you will need who will help you too . He have a brain

  5. My story is also similar, but not a kind of direct contact, but everything went through this disgusting evil facebook contact. before meeting him, i was such a good in performing my prayers that even my hair or nails were not visible to gair-mehram. he(a non-muslim) flirted first, but the result was shaitan misguided me and slowly n slowly i got deviated completely from Allah's right path and he too started loving me for my good nature. But later as shaitan deviated completely, my manners changed, patience changed to anger, my attitude changed. Even I too wanted him to change him, i still want to change him. He left me as my behavior changed, He left me for an other girl of his own religion and going to marry him. Before a month, i suffered a lot due to his absence and was about to commit suicide also. But the very time Allah made me remember that "Suicide is forbidden in Islam."
    Am also afraid that though this relationship was haram, if that guy asks me about not giving Dawah(inviting him towards islam), i donno what to answer him on the day of resurrection, despite seeking mercy and repenting to Allah.
    After reading all this questions and answers from this, i am slowly changing, Allah is calling me again to his right path. feeling happy being in Allah's path, but feeling sorry that i didn't fulfil the job of inviting him towards islam

  6. Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

    It's his own fault that he doesn't accept that you left him. You didn't leave him for another man you left him for your lord, your master Allah aza wa jal.

    So you did a good deed.

    Abdullah bin Amr reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, โ€œThe Muslim is the one who avoids harming the Muslims with his tongue and hand, and the emigrant is the one who gives up what Allah has forbidden.โ€

    Source: Sahih Bukhari 10

    Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Bukhari

    ุนูŽู†ู’ ุนูŽุจู’ุฏู ุงู„ู„ูŽู‘ู‡ู ุจู’ู†ู ุนูŽู…ู’ุฑููˆ ุฑูŽุถููŠูŽ ุงู„ู„ูŽู‘ู‡ู ุนูŽู†ู’ู‡ูู…ูŽุง ุนูŽู†ู’ ุงู„ู†ูŽู‘ุจููŠูู‘ ุตูŽู„ูŽู‘ู‰ ุงู„ู„ูŽู‘ู‡ู ุนูŽู„ูŽูŠู’ู‡ู ูˆูŽุณูŽู„ูŽู‘ู…ูŽ ู‚ูŽุงู„ูŽ ุงู„ู’ู…ูุณู’ู„ูู…ู ู…ูŽู†ู’ ุณูŽู„ูู…ูŽ ุงู„ู’ู…ูุณู’ู„ูู…ููˆู†ูŽ ู…ูู†ู’ ู„ูุณูŽุงู†ูู‡ู ูˆูŽูŠูŽุฏูู‡ู ูˆูŽุงู„ู’ู…ูู‡ูŽุงุฌูุฑู ู…ูŽู†ู’ ู‡ูŽุฌูŽุฑูŽ ู…ูŽุง ู†ูŽู‡ูŽู‰ ุงู„ู„ูŽู‘ู‡ู ุนูŽู†ู’ู‡ู

    10 ุตุญูŠุญ ุงู„ุจุฎุงุฑูŠ ูƒูุชูŽุงุจ ุงู„ู’ุฅููŠู…ูŽุงู†ู ุจูŽุงุจ ุงู„ู’ู…ูุณู’ู„ูู…ู ู…ูŽู†ู’ ุณูŽู„ูู…ูŽ ุงู„ู’ู…ูุณู’ู„ูู…ููˆู†ูŽ ู…ูู†ู’ ู„ูุณูŽุงู†ูู‡ู ูˆูŽูŠูŽุฏูู‡ู

    Whatever sins you committed, if you repent to Allah, Allah will accept your repentance so long as the time limit isn't over.

    Imam Ahmad recorded that Anas bin Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah , say:

    ยซูˆูŽุงู„ูŽู‘ุฐููŠ ู†ูŽูู’ุณููŠ ุจููŠูŽุฏูู‡ู ู„ูŽูˆู’ ุฃูŽุฎู’ุทูŽุฃู’ุชูู…ู’ ุญูŽุชู’ู‰ ุชูŽู…ู’ู„ูŽุฃูŽ ุฎูŽุทูŽุงูŠูŽุงูƒูู…ู’ ู…ูŽุง ุจูŽูŠู’ู†ูŽ ุงู„ุณูŽู‘ู…ูŽุงุกู ูˆูŽุงู„ู’ุฃูŽุฑู’ุถูุŒ ุซูู…ูŽู‘ ุงุณู’ุชูŽุบู’ููŽุฑู’ุชูู…ู ุงู„ู„ู‡ูŽ ุชูŽุนูŽุงู„ูŽู‰ ู„ูŽุบูŽููŽุฑูŽ ู„ูŽูƒูู…ู’ุŒ ูˆูŽุงู„ูŽู‘ุฐููŠ ู†ูŽูู’ุณู ู…ูุญูŽู…ูŽู‘ุฏูุจููŠูŽุฏูู‡ู ู„ูŽูˆู’ ู„ูŽู…ู’ ุชูุฎู’ุทูุฆููˆุง ู„ูŽุฌูŽุงุกูŽ ุงู„ู„ู‡ู ุนูŽุฒูŽู‘ ูˆูŽุฌูŽู„ูŽู‘ ุจูู‚ูŽูˆู’ู…ู ูŠูุฎู’ุทูุฆููˆู†ูŽุŒ ุซูู…ูŽู‘ ูŠูŽุณู’ุชูŽุบู’ููุฑููˆู†ูŽ ุงู„ู„ู‡ูŽ ููŽูŠูŽุบู’ููุฑู ู„ูŽู‡ูู…ยป

    (By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, if you were to commit sin until your sins filled the space between heaven and earth, then you were to ask Allah for forgiveness, He would forgive you. By the One in Whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad, if you did not commit sin, Allah would bring other people who would commit sins and then ask Allah for forgiveness so that He could forgive them.)'' This was recorded only by Ahmad.

    I think you should also forgive him for his insults and ask Allah aza wa jal to forgive him.

  7. hello Amy - Salam Alekom

    how are you?

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