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Monday, January 31, 2000

QUESTION

Dear Bilqis,

Before I converted to Islam I met this muslim brother who first introduced Islam to me and I became interested and converted. I am very much in love with him and I believe he is in love with me but I think he is worried what the people in his community will say because I have only been muslim for 3 months. I want to marry him and I believe he feels the same. What should I do? I have not met many sisters yet. I need a wali or someone to speak for me.

-Want a Muslim husband

BILQIS ANSWERS:

Dear "Want a Muslim Husband",

Welcome to Islam! I encourage you to work on your Salat, study about the Life of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and strive to read the Qur'an daily. These things are important.

Concerning a husband, the ideal in Islam is for your father to act as your wali. If your father or another male relative is not available or willing, then you should talk to the Imam of your community and see what he advises.

The "dating" scene in the non-Muslim world is generally characterized by game-playing, guessing, and deception. In Islam, however, all of this is abolished in favor of the concept of "ma'roof," which means that everything is above-board, proper and honest. Honesty being the best policy, you should inform the Imam of your interest in this particular brother, and the Imam will convey your interest to the brother. If your interest in this brother is reciprocated, al-Hamdulillah. If not, then you must accept this and move on.

Marriage is of course very important in Islam, but you want to take your time and be sure this brother is right for you.

Ask Allah's guidance in this matter and to grant you a good husband. My prayers and best wishes are with you.

-Bilqis