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Monday, November 15, 1999

QUESTION

Dear Bilqis,

I know that anal sex is forbidden in Islam. But what if the husband wants it? If the wife agreed is she as sinful as him? also what if she didn't? He could go out and look to do that with somebody else! Please tell me what do you think of this issue.

Thanks a lot.

-A

BILQIS ANSWERS:

Dear Sister,

You are correct, anal sex is forbidden in Islam. Allah subhanahu says in the Qur'an,

"Your wives are a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will" [al-Baqarah 2:223]

All of the Muslim scholars are agreed that as a tilth is a garden where something grows, this refers only to vaginal sex. And to further explain this verse, we have the following hadith:

On the authority of Jaabir who said: "The Jews used to say that if a man entered his wife in the vagina but from behind, their child would be cross-eyed! Then Allaah revealed the verse: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Prophet said : "From the front or the back, as long as it is in the vagina". [Al-Bukharee and Muslim]

There are several other hadith on this subject, among them:

• First: On the authority of Umm Salama who said: "When the Muhajireen came to Ansaar at al-Madeenah, some of them married women from the Ansaar. The women of the Muhajireen used to lie on their faces (during intercourse), while the women of the Ansaar never did it that way. Then, one of the men of the Muhajireen wanted his wife to do that. She refused until such time as she could ask the Prophet about it. She went to the Prophet but was embarassed to ask the question, so Umm Salama asked him. Then the verse was revealed which says: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Prophet said: "No! (not any way you wish) Only in one opening! (ie. the vagina)". [Ahmad, at-Tirmidhee and others : Saheeh]
• Second: On the authority of Ibn 'Abbaas who said: "'Umar ibn Al-Khattaab came to the Prophet and said: 'O Messenger of Allaah, I am destroyed!' The Prophet asked: 'And what has destroyed you, O 'Umar?' 'Umar said: `I turned my mount around last night.' (An expression which means he had sexual intercourse with his wife penetrating the vagina while mounting her from the rear.) The Prophet gave him no answer and when the revelation came and the verse was revealed which says: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223] then the Prophet said: "From the front and from the back, just beware of her anus and her menses". [an-Nasaa'ee in "`Ishratun-Nisaa" with hasan isnaad, at-Tirmidhee and others].
• Third: On the authority of Khuzaima ibn Thaabit who said: "A man asked the Prophet about entering women in the rear, or the entering by a man of his wife in her rear, and the Prophet answered: `Halaal (ie. permissible).' When the man turned to leave, the Prophet called him or ordered for him to be called back and said : "What did you say? In which of the two openings did you mean? If what you meant was from her rear and in her vagina, then yes. But if what you meant was from her rear and in her anus, then no. Verily Allaah is not ashamed of the truth - do not enter your wives in their anuses!" [as-Shaafi, al-Baihaqi and others: Saheeh]
• Fourth: "Allaah does not look at one who comes to his wife in her anus". [an-Nasaa'ee: Hasan isnaad and supported in "al-'Ishrah"; at-Tirmidhee and Ibn Hibbaan].
• Fifth: "Cursed are those who come to their wives in their anuses." [Aboo Dawood, Ahmad and others with hasan isnaad and is supported].
• Sixth: "Whoever has sexual intercourse with a mentruating woman, or a woman in her anus, or approaches a soothsayer and believes what he is told has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad ". [Aboo Dawood, at-Tirmidhee and others: Saheeh]. 

So the issue is very clear. As husband and wife, you should encourage one another toward those things permitted by Allah and His Prophet and discourage one another from those things prohibited. There are many and varied positions that a couple can enjoy marital relations without transgressing the bounds set for us as Muslims.

Hopefully once your husband reads this column he will have a better awareness of the prohibition of sodomy, and will fear Allah in his behavior. As a wife, you are not responsible for the sins your husband commitss, but only for your own actions. If you go along with him, you will be responsible for that sin. Fulfill your responsibility to Allah first, and then think of other ways of making marital relations pleasing to both you and your husband. This is something best discussed between the two of you for resolution.

-Bilqis