Monday, June 7, 1999
I have a question that bothers me a lot: Why should we marry
.. what is the meaning of marriage exactly?
I've seen a lot how husbands underestimate their wives, they
believe that their wives can't live without their support. As
a human being I have ambitions too, and I am afraid marriage
can be my obstacle to reach what I've been dreaming of.
I'm still single now, never had a boyfriend. Please tell me
what should I do, because I'm really confused. Thanks for your
Dear "Dian Y",
It is true that marriage is strongly
encouraged in Islam, and once undertaken becomes a very important
part of your life. I would suggest you read "Merits and Disadvantages of Marriage" by Imam al-Ghazali and also some of the many
hadiths provided under the "Books of Marriage". All
graciously provided for you here at Zawaj.com!
The necessity and immediacy of marriage
depends on the individual. If you feel no immediate need to marry,
that is to say, you can fulfill your Islamic duties, and feel
no PHYSICAL NEED to marry, then you can plan to marry in the
future. The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said that marriage was his
practice, and as Muslims we should follow his example! So a muslim
should INTEND to marry for mutual love, companionship and Insha'Allah
Also, remember that in Islam, marriage
is a contractual agreement. As a Muslim lady you can stipulate
certain conditions for your marriage, such as finishing school,
pursuing certain goals in life, etc. If a husband-to-be agrees
to these conditions, he is bound by them. So, continue to give
the question of marriage serious thought, pursue your goals,
and pray for a brother who will appreciate and complement you
when the time is right. Best wishes, and may Allah grant you
guidance and tranquility in your actions.