Muslim Matrimonials and More's Ask Bilqis


Monday, June 28, 1999


Dear Bilqis,

Assalamu Alaykum. I have a sister who is a young divorcee; she has 3 children and she works day and night to support them. Her husband abandoned her after 10 years of marriage; he fell in love with a Christian woman colleague of his, who later left and married a coreligionist. In the meantime, he had destroyed his family. He beat up my sister. When she came to my parents' home, she had a black eye and a broken nose because he had lost his psychological balance and the fear of God.

She is only 35, attractive, intelligent, religious. We are a respectable family and too proud to advertise our grief. How can she re marry in a society (Pakistan) where divorce is a stigma and children are a burden instead of "the flowers of Allah" as the Prophet called them?

-Concerned Relative



Dear "Concerned Relative,"

First, let me commend you for your loving support of your sister . This is surely in keeping with the TRUE SPIRIT OF ISLAM! (Your question brought tears to my eyes.) The situation you described is so far from what Allah(swt) and His Prophet(saw) want for a Muslim wife! Physical abuse of such a magnitude is sorely HATED by any "right-thinking" Muslim.

The question of re-marriage for a Muslim lady after such a bad marriage should not be an issue for any Muslim. Unfortunately, many Muslim countries have lost some of the TRUE SPIRIT of Islam in their cultural practices. If we reflect on the life of the Prophet (saw), we will surely see that such thinking is in contradiction to his words and his examples. JUSTICE and KINDNESS toward women were important concerns of his.

Fortunately, there are Muslims in every country who are trying to practice theTRUE spirit of ISLAM! I would encourage you to seek out those Muslims and interact with them. Even in this modern age when mankind has come a long way in terms of human rights (though we still have a long way to go), the concept that a man/woman be judged by the content of their character (the knowledge of which lies only with Allah) is still a "revolutionary" and yet unattained concept in this world.

This is the TRUE SPIRIT of ISLAM. May Allah bless you and your family and grant you success in your endeavors.

-Bilqis Muslim Matrimonials