Muslim Matrimonials and More's Ask Bilqis


Monday, August 16, 1999


Dear Bilqis,

essalamnn alaikoum

I am an Algerian male living in London, UK. I am a bus driver. Recently I was in a language course, where a young English teacher has stolen my heart. I think about her all the time. As a Muslim I know I should not behave that way, is it a weakness or a sickness? I need some advice because I really want to have a Muslim family. By the way, I am 30 years old.




Dear Lovesick,

As you already realize, you cannot let these feelings for the English teacher go unchecked. The example of the Prophet (saw) was that by avoiding the TEMPTATION to sin you can avoid the sin, Insha'Allah.

There are examples in the sunnah to help you with this problem:

  • A Muslim should guard his/her gaze when in mixed company.
  • There should be no physical contact with unlawful women, for a Muslim man.

You are probably aware of these Islamic etiquettes, but you must practice them if you want the benefit of them. If you feel the situation is beyond these measures then perhaps you should see if there is another class you could be re-assigned to that is perhaps taught by a male.

This is probably a sign that you need to begin to vigorously look for a Muslim wife. I would also suggest that you increase your association with your Muslim brothers by attending Fajr and Isha'a prayers at the Masjid at the least, while, if time permits increasing your involement in Islamic activities at a nearby community. I know there are many Masjids in the UK.

Needless to say, most importantly, seek Allah's (swt) help through salat, dua and reading Qur'an daily. What is weakness can become sickness if we do not strive against it. May Allah grant you strength and guidance to do what your heart already has told you is right. There is a tradition that says if we walk toward Allah(swt), He runs toward us. He rewards our efforts.

My prayers and best wishes are with you.

-Bilqis Muslim Matrimonials