My husband has not introduced me to his family and I am worried

A Muslim wedding in Brunei Darussalam.

A Muslim wedding in Brunei Darussalam. Muslim weddings, like most weddings in any culture, are family affairs.

Dear Wael,

I recently married my husband in his country of residence, and although we married in the same city as his parents live in, he did not invite them nor did he ever introduce me to them.

He claims it was because he was “on the outs” with them at the time, but later I discovered that he still lives with his parents (except when he was in the U.S. for college and work). So at the time that we married, although we were living together at a resort, he was officially living with his parents.

Now he keeps delaying my meeting his parents. Initially he said when we got our I-129/K3 visa approved I would fly back, meet his family, and we would come to the U.S. – however, during our last conversation, he said I would meet his family “next year”. I wonder if he is using me for money or a green card, even though so far he has paid for everything. The closer we get to having his visa approved, the more my intuition screams that something isn’t right here.

Today he replied to an email saying I haven’t met his family because he hasn’t met mine – but my entire family and all of my friends know that we married – and if he weren’t 10,000 miles away he would have met my family before we ever married. But he and I were staying in the same town as his family lives for 30 days, and we even got married, and I never met them. It hurts to end this now, but I know it would hurt more 2-3 years from now if he gets citizenship and leaves me.

I mean, we had a great time together and get along well, but there are a few issues, such as my not meeting his family and some other issues, that have me worried. I mean, he is Indian born and working in the UAE, but in all three cultures, Indian, Muslim, and American, marriage is a FAMILY CENTERED event. I am hurt and worried over not meeting his family, and it makes me doubt his commitment to our marriage.

– Colima

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  1. Im a malaysian and married to an indian this year we are planning to go for haj im a malaysian passport holder how do i go . can i go through haj committee india pl help

    • you have made the mistake in the first place for marrying him before he met your parents,you couldnt have rush for the marriage untill he meet you parents,so for that reason you have to be patient.time will tell.

    • Dear Sister Jumana,
      Congratulations for your marriage. May Allah bless you and your husband.
      Good to hear that you are planning to go for Haj.
      Haj committee for this year has already declaring names and its quite difficult for every one to get selected for Haj. As it has limited quota hence people opt for travel agencies for Hajj.
      You can either go from India or can even fly from Malaysia.
      So choice is yours, but from Haj committee it is very difficult at this point of time.
      Please feel free to contact for any further information, I will be glad to help you as you are travelling to the most beloved place in the world. May Allah allow you to perform Haj this season.
      Request you to please remember me in your prayers during haj and specially at
      Masjid-e-Nabawi( SAWS).

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