Spreading Bedroom Secrets
Name of Mufti: A group of Islamic researchers
Topic: Divulging Bedroom Secrets
Name of Questioner: Muslim brother
Question: As-Salamu `Alaykum. Could you please enlighten me about the Islamic ruling concerning divulging one’s bedroom secrets in public? Some people find no shame in discussing such secrets in public. Is such a thing permissible in Islam? Please cite an evidence in support of your view. Jazakum Allahu Khayran.
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Dear brother in Islam, thank you very much for having confidence in us, and we hope our efforts, which are purely for Allah’s Sake, meet your expectations.
In Islam, intimacy between the husband and his wife should always be viewed as something private that must not be subject to intrusion. Right to marital privacy is one of the rights Islam made inalienable to both man and woman. The Glorious Qur’an has alluded to this by stating that, “…They are raiment for you and ye are raiment for them…” (Al-Baqarah: 187)
Raiment or garment symbolizes physical protection. Likewise, a spouse is viewed this way, in the sense that each one of them owes the other the duty of protecting his secrets, in order to have a serene and comfortable marital life.
In his well known book‘The Lawful and the Prohibited in Islam’, the well known erudite scholar Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, states the following:
“The Glorious Qur’an praises virtuous wives saying: “…Who are obedient, guarding in secret what Allah has guarded….” (An-Nisaa’: 34)
Among the secrets, which must be guarded, is the intimate relationship with the spouse. Discussing the secrets of such relationship in public or speaking about it to friends is not permitted. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said: “Among those who will occupy the worst position in the Sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection is the man who has intercourse with his wife and then spreads her secret.” (Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and Al-Bazzar)
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) is quoted to have said: Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) led us in prayer, and when he had finished he turned toward us and said: “Remain seated. Is there among you one who comes to his wife, closes the door, and draws the curtain, and then goes out and speaks about it, saying, “I did this and I did that with my wife?” The men remained silent. Then he turned toward the women and asked,“Is there among you one who tells about such things?” A girl raised herself on her knees so that the Messenger of Allah could see her and listen to what she said. She said, “Yes, by Allah, the men talk about it and the women do, too.” Then the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Do you know the similitude of those who do that? They are like a male and female devils who meet each other in the road and satisfy their desire with the people gazing at them.”
This emphatic way of expressing the matter should be sufficient to turn the Muslim away from such ill-considered and degraded behavior, which would make him or her resemble a devil!”
Moreover, we would like to cite for you the following:
The only exception to this rule would be when there is a necessary reason to reveal such details, for example to a medical professional. Some examples might be if the husband is having problems with impotence, or the wife finds intercourse painful, or the couple has difficulty conceiving, or they need advice on birth control, etc. In such cases the doctor may need to ask some questions about the couple’s sexual practices.
If you have any further comments, please don’t hesitate to write back!
May Allah guide you to the straight path, and guide you to that which pleases Him, Ameen.