Islamic marriage advice and family advice

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Closed Topics

As-salamu alaykum everyone!

There are certain subjects that come up again and again on this website. Everyone's personal situation is unique, of course, but when it comes to questions about what is halal or haram, there is no need for endless repetition.

Therefore the following subjects are now closed, meaning we will NOT publish posts on these topics. Pending posts or drafts on these subjects will be deleted.

1. Specific sexual acts - are  they halal or haram? This has been done to death on this site. If a person is having sexual difficulties in their marriage, we can address that. But we will NOT publish any more questions asking whether masturbation or oral sex are halal or haram, etc. Check our archives.

2. Triple talaq (pronouncing divorce three times) - is it valid or invalid? This has been answered repeatedly on this website and on all other Islamic fatwa sites.

3. Marriage between Sunni and Shiah - is it allowed? We have answered this more than a dozen times. Search our archives.

4. Hair care - Permissibility of plucking eyebrows, questions about shaving or trimming the private areas, shaving legs or any other body area. Check our archives.

5. Philippines law - We get many questions from Filipinos (men and women) who have converted to Islam (often in the Gulf countries) and want to know how to annul their previous marriages, whether their new marriage will be recognized in the Philippines, and other legal issues. I'm sorry, but we don't know. We (the Editors) don't live in the Philippines and we're not lawyers. You need to consult an attorney.

6. Istikhara dreams - This isn't closed yet, but I'm preparing a permanent page on this subject, and when that's completed it will be closed.

It's not that we don't want to answer your questions. Rather, we have already answered these particular questions multiple times, and the answers don't change. We'd like to focus our resources where they can do the most good.

Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor

85 Responses »

  1. hi i am zeeshan from pakistan i want to tell that i had romance and physical relation with my brothers wife that time i was blind now i feel shame and worried plz someone gove instruction and solution that Allah forgive me and hide this sin from on after death day plz plz i request plz

    • See our articles about Tawbah in Islam (links at the top of the page).

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Dear editors,
        There are a couple of posts by some weirdos on the I have feelings for a sociopath page - they've said some pretty inappropriate things. I didn't want to respond directly to their post because that's clearly the attention they are looking for, and I wasn't sure how to send the editors a message privately. So thought I'd mention it on here so that they can be blocked. I also wondered if there was a way to detect people who use such inappropriate language before they are allowed to post anything !!! It makes my blood boil.

      • Only one question plz sir.agr aik Cristian girl muslim hogai oska bary ma paka confirm na ho hoskta ha wo jhot bol rhi ho dil sy shahadat na di hon to phir b os sy nikah jaiz hoga.plz sir aur many koi olti harkat b ni ki bs bar krty hn gr walon sy ijazat mil gai ha pr kya ye jaiz hoga nikah? Plz reply sir am very very sory for doing question in reply box.plz answer sir

        • Sorry brother, I do not speak Urdu. In any case you must submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • I want to say sir that I love a cristan girl she loves me too she is muslim now we don't do false acts yet only talk I know this was wrong but mistake every human do.she said shahada but I have a little bit doubt on her that she didn't said it from heart.will our nikah will be legal in Islam or not we have decided to mary very small time remaining plz tell will this

          • We cannot see what is inside someone's heart. If she said the shahadah, then we accept her as a Muslim. If you want to marry her then I see no harm with it. May Allah bless you in your future.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Thank you sir very very very thankful to you.Allah fogive you Allah bless you Allah give you success in both lives ameen. .
            ..
            Love you sir thank you
            Plz pray for our future and plz don't mind at my words I am sory and thank you.

  2. My query is regarding my istakhara.

    • 1. Raiha, The situation is outrageous and unacceptable, and you should divorce him immediately. 2. Istikhara is not dependent on dreams or dream interpretation. 3. If you need further advice, please register and submit your question as a separate post, thank you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Thank you for the prompt reply-my mind is made up about the divorce and the immediate feeling after istikhara was to leave him. My father's interpretation was that God has chosen this 'prison' of a marriage for me and I would never get any help from outside to leave it and would regret it later. Which got me confused . But he has his own fears- losing the hard-earned middle class respectability. I know he doesn't want me back. Doesn't want the world to know about his other daughter.
        I will post this as a separate topic. But thank you once again.

  3. I have a problem my house has set on fire three times in a row for no reason 2 times at my old apartment then today at the new one!

    • Asraar, it's the police you need to talk to, not us. But if you do need our advice then please submit your question as a separate post.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  4. Hi I need help im really depressed

  5. Salamualkoum

    I wanted to go back to the question of forced marriages. I am a victim of this crime my life is completely ruined I hated the groom so much just from the first look I said to him at the age of 14 in our land of freedom as we live in North America
    I was forced to stay for 16 years and 3 kids I didn't want or even like even though the kids are married they still feel the back biting that as the mother of the kids I endure to this day
    The groom beat me from the first week, as the bride I was sent up with bruises and a black to his house I wanted to die a million times I fell into making a few mistakes that will haunt me until I die
    How do I live the rest of my life this I'm shunned from everywhere I hate myself but I pray and ask Allah to forgive me
    My question is....if this is absolutely unacceptable in Islam doesn't the father answer to his maker
    Thank you

  6. Assalamoalykum. Plz guide me now I am 18 age but still I have habits of looking pronvvideo some time . I m Muslim but so many times I have promise to allah but I didn't know why I am going deep in that I have tried so many times by salat maintain but not possible . Now lastly some time I decide to suicide I am educated but why like this sin habits so please any body can help me otherwise may be I will not bear this kind of sin.plz

    • plz anser me fast

      • Assalaamualaikam

        We've answered many questions on this subject. Please search our archives for these as inshaAllah you can find helpful advice there.

        No matter how distressed you feel, suicide is never the answer. Allah is Most Merciful - trust in His Love and Forgiveness. It might help to read our articles on Suicide and on Tawbah and Repentance.

        If you need more advice, you need to submit a separate post for publication rather than asking questions in the comments section - there's instructions on how to do this in the 'Submit Your Question' section (on the menu at the top of the page).

        Midnightmoon
        IslamicAnswers.com editor

  7. Salaam aleykum
    I convert to Islam 2 year's now. And same time I met my husband

    I'm married but we have lost of problems in ower relationship. And now I met a woman who I have lots of feelings for, I went to visit her and we slept together, she did not touch me in sexualy but I did touch her and we both release that it's wrong and we want to be just friends now. But from my side I feel I really love her. We both are married and know I want to make right what I did wrong. I don't know what to do. I cannot tell my husband he will leave me but same time I love him to.

    Please I don't know what to do and if Allah(SWT) will forgive me for what I have done wrong.

  8. I totally agree there have been a lot of repeated posts. May Allah reward you editors for helping people in need and for allowing other muslims to learn from one and another.

  9. Hello my name is Dee. I'm married to a Muslim man. Recently I found out that my best friend who is also Muslim has been secretly being around my husband. She lost her Muslim husband back in may. My husband and best friend started their "friendship" by talking secretly on phonecalls meeting with one another etc. I recently caught them both at a hotel together. She told me that they didn't have to tell me anything about them being together and that they could marry without my consent. Here we are six months later..and they are still together. They are not married islamically at least that is what my husband says. So why is he still with her if they aren't married. I asked for a divorce and he will not give me one. He said that he's trying to do what's islamically right by taking care of a widow. He stays with her most of the time..is barely at home with me his wife. He doesn't take care of our household as he should..bills are always paid late..or I have to make arrangements to not endure shutoffs. Can someone please explain this to me. I was raised Christian. I took the Shahaadah out of pressure and decided that I wasn't ready to embrace Islam in its entirety. I still study the Quaran...do my five daily prayers.. I don't like covering my hair..nor do I like or believe in the practice of Polygamy. These are my two reasons for not embracing entirely. I follow everything else just not these two factors. What do I do from here? I love my husband but I do not wish to have another woman in my marriage. It hurts emotionally..it shakes my spirituality..and even physically it makes me ill. Is divorce something that I can do?

  10. respected tell me can husband and wife masterbate each other is it prissimable

  11. i need to know what should be done after got abortion in islamic point of view should lady to treat this like islamic point of view i mean to say chilla 40 or 45 days??? or not plz advise.

  12. How can I post a question

    • Please register and submit your question as a separate post. And please register with a better username than the one you have given.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  13. Salaams-
    I seem to have forgotten my password for my account. However, when I tried to reset my password, it said that this particular user (aka My Account) cannot have their password reset?
    What can I do to fix this issue?

  14. My father told me mother " i divorce you" once and then said it again after one month. Isn't there supposed to be a iddah that my mother is supposed to do. If my father says it again will she be completely divorced and he cant have her back. Please please help me. Kindly explain this matter in detail that when will she be divorced for real and if she does get divorced do we live with her or our father? If ee live with her is it obligatory for our father to give her money monthly to take care of us?

  15. I am 28 years old.From last two year I am suffering from stammering problem , before that every thing was fine but now I am nor able to talk with anyone and when I talk with unknown person or boss the condition is worse.I have to thing 10 times before talking to anyone. It is worse when I talk on mobile. Pls advice some dua and treatment so that again I can become normal .

    • sahani, you should visit a speech therapist who can help you with this problem. As for dua', you can use the dua' of Musa (as) (before he went to Firawn), as he had the same problem:

      [Moses] said, "My Lord, expand for me my breast [with assurance]
      And ease for me my task
      And untie the knot from my tongue
      That they may understand my speech.

      (Quran, 20:25 - 20:28)

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  16. Salaam, I would like personal advice from an outside perspective. I have known someone for around a year on a friend basis and I know that there is a possibility for us to get married. Nothing haram has taken place between us but I can tell feelings are involved. Now the logical thing would be to get married but I have 1 reservation ; I do not think this is the person who will help me lower my gaze in the future because we are the same height. Something about this makes me feel like less than a women around him and it's extremely important to have that component in a marrife. He is perfect in regards to motivation, success, personality, intelligence and most importantly, deen. Yet, as superficial as this may sound, the point of marriage is to have your gaze lowered and I feel like I am not going to have it lowered because I'll be looking for someone quote unquote taller and manlier consistently.

    • Assalamu Alaykum Sister,

      I hope that you are well by the grace of Allah!

      I was very confused in reading your post and was struggling to find the dilemma ( or rather the lack of it) in your post.
      Sister, lowering your gaze by no means suggests that the person in front of you should be taller or manlier..
      Lowering your gaze means restraining from looking and admiring the looks or beauty of a non-mahram man to you. It also means refraining from looking at the site of desire ( for example looking at a man's uncovered parts of the body and feeling anything haram).

      When you say that your future husband will not help you lower your gaze, do you mean because he is not as handsome as you would like and you might go astray an commit a sin in the future?
      If the above is what you mean sister, then allow me to remind you that looks are not everything in life. Alhamdulilah he is "perfect" in his Deen ( most importantly) and personality wise as well as the other very important attributes. Many sisters I know have married who they think were good looking men but are living miserable lives.

      If height is a deciding factor for marriage in your opinion, my dear sister in Islam and not the good qualities you mentioned then I think you need to get your priorities right. Respect in a marriage is of utmost importance sister. Do not belittle someone just because you would have liked a taller man. If anything at all I think you need to educate yourself on the blessing called marriage and work on being a good partner for your other half for the sake of Allah SWT.

      On this first Jummah of this Blessed Month of Ramadhan, I make duah that Allah makes you realise the importance and value of certain gifts and qualities you need in a partner, most of those which you mentioned already.
      May Allah SWT increase the love between you and your partner and may Allah make you see beyond such petty things as height and make you value your marriage.
      May Allah keep you both happy and content with each other within the permissible in Islam and may you both love and value each other for the sake of Allah.
      May Allah bless your marriage and allow you both to respect each other. Ameen.

      Jazhak Allah Khairan Sister.

  17. Dear brother Wall,

    I wrote a question in drafts, when I will get answered for that. I am in a need of help. Very soon.

  18. A person established physical relationship with a girl before marriage but after few year he got married to her sister whether this marriage is valid in Islam.

  19. Where can I ask for Islamic advice I can't find anywhere

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Submit your question as a new post for publication and it will be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah. The instructions on how to do this can be found under 'Submit your post...' at the top of the main page.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

  20. asslamualikum i have a question. i am interested in someone. i really want to merry but i am confused about mehram and na mehrmam. can i ask Allah (SWT) for him. is it right in islam?

    • zaib, there is not enough detail in your question to really understand what you are asking. Please register and submit your question as a separate post.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  21. asslamualikum sir i mean to say that i want to merry with him but we have some family issues like different cast. we never ever crossed our limits. now i am not in his contact but i still want to merry with him. he said " i am helpless". he is very nice guy. i also seek grant of Allah in each prayer every day. but now i am afraid bcz he is na mehram for me. so this is my question can i pray for him? can i ask Allah for him? i want to merry with him according my deen with the help of Allah (SWT). plz give me detail answer i am worried.

  22. I am waiting for reply on my post which I did couple of days back, please help as its too critical and eager for your reply

  23. Hello,

    I am very concerned about the new profile update.
    It reveals the email of the user, which is very private in my opinion.
    Please remove my email from my profile, I do not want the public seeing it.

    Thank you,
    ~muslima01

    • muslima01, thank you for bringing this to my attention. One of the website plugins (third party software add-ons) was responsible for this. I have disabled it. For now, no one can see anyone's profile. Users can see only their own profile. In the future I'll try to figure out how to enable profile viewing but set it so that emails don't show.

      I apologize for the violation of your privacy. It was not intentional.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Hello again,

        I would like to delete my email from my profile, please. The reason behind this is because I am thinking of creating a wordpress website, however if I do it under the same email it will have the same username. Is there a way to remove the current email?

        Thank you.

  24. Hi my friendis dating with a married christian man but separated to wife, and he wants to be converted to islam because he wants and feels sincerely to. I just want to ask if he will be converted to islam, his first marriage will be invalid? Can he will be marry again? If can be, the woman will need to convert to islam also?

    • For a Muslim man/woman it's Unlawful to marry a Christian, who believes that Jesus is the son of God. If you are of the Unitarians (who do Not believe such things) then you would be lawful for him.

      • Goran, this is not correct. The majority of the Christians in the time of the Prophet Muhammad (sws) already believed in the Trinity and the divinity of Jesus (pbuh), yet the Quran allowed Muslim men to marry them without making exceptions or conditions.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  25. اسلام عليكم

    I came to this comment section about an hour ago to ask for some advice on something but what I typed ended up to be one of the longest essays ever and it lead to a session of uncontrollable crying.

    So I just want to ask you to please make dua for my family. And please make dua that Allah guides to me making the right decisions

  26. Asalaamu Alaikum,

    I would like my IslamicAnswers account to be permanently deleted, please.
    Can you do this, please?

    Jazaakumullahu Khayran,
    ~muslima01

    • Wa alaykum as-salam. I could certainly delete your profile, but we do not delete published posts. They would be reassigned to our catchall username, which is FlyingFish.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  27. Assalamu Alaikum ! Where I can post a question please ?

    • Ibtissam, first register then log in, then click on the menu at the left to create a Post. When you are done, save it as "Pending."

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  28. As Salaamu Alaikum

    I want to ask,are here any Forums where we can write and discuss about Ramadan?
    About the Virtues and Fasting and prayers and this kind of things?

    • Wa alaykum as-salam. There are many Islamic discussion forums. I've been a member of Ummah.com since 2005.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Assalamu Alaikum ! Yes I know a forum called Islamic board . I love it . You can learn a lot of things and discuss them with the people of the forum . I have joined it this year alhamdulillah .

  29. As Salaamu Alaikum

    I will check this Sites out.Thank you to both of you.

  30. Assalaam waleikum..my name is Romana.im married to an Indian man nd we've bn together fr 9 years we gt 2 kids together. .my husband's has bn cheating on me fr pasked years I tried swallowing pain nd let it go..bt everytym he do one thing to another..until wen m gna cry..is it wrng to leave unhappy matriage??I cover myself do all duty as a wife nd respect him bt smtyams I feel m jet wstnf my tI me..

    • Rumaan, there is nothing wrong with asking for divorce from a cheating husband. You have a right to be treated with respect in marriage and to expect fidelity.

      If you need further advice, please register and submit your question as a separate post.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  31. I need some advice, really embarrassing question I masturbated in the shower, but I washed, cleaned the bath etc and then did ghusl is my ghusl done?

    • Yes, your ghusl is complete.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Assalamualaikum where can i find solved queries on lack of confidence and lack of job related issues on this site , i m very depressed cant wait for months to get answer please if these questions are answered before or not tell me and where can i find them most of my batchmates have got the job i am the only one left i m nt gettng calls for intwrviews and if i do get one because of my poor english communication skills and zero confidence i even feel scared to attend interview .. on my first interview i couldnot speak anything because of my poor english and i dont have good personality either there are many complexes in my life becoz of my childhood experiences which i have shared here 2 years back ! Please help me where i can find answers related to my issue .. nowadays i just feel useless feel like i can never face any interview and can never get job because i cant speak in english, dont have good personality and confidence even those people have got the job who has completed their course by copying whole year from other students i m the only one who is left

  32. Hello,

    I submitted a post as user "MMM" that had to do with abuse & teen mental health issues. I wanted to delete it but I forgot my password and the email that I originally signd up on this site with got deleted (I deleted it forgetting that I had signed up using that specific address).
    I had multiple emails and deleted like 3 of them and that email was one of them. Please delete my Pending Post. it is called "sinful desires", and it was last modified sometime towards the end of the summer.

    This is urgent. Please delete it as I forgot my account and cannot delete it myself.

    -MMM

    • As-salamu alaykum. I have deleted your post. However, I feel you need a response, so here it is: you are not a filthy animal, you do not deserve to die, and you are not doomed to Hell. You have a problem, and you recognize that. The important thing is that you do not and must never act on these desires. See a therapist. Whatever you tell them will be confidential, and it's possible that through ongoing therapy you will be able to overcome these desires. May Allah aid you and cure you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Ameen. I truly hope Allah swt cures me of this spiritual disease,

        Thank you so much Wael, may Allah bless you.
        -MMM

      • Asalaamu Alaikum Br. Wael-

        Sorry to pester you, but I really need your help. I am in a state of despair. Do you think Allah swt will ever forgive me for the sin of m**turbation while thinking these thoughts??

        I feel like im so lost and broken, i dont know what to do. my life is falling downhill, i think Allah swt hates me so much and wants everyone else to hate me too. No one likes me and I have no friends, I think this is a sign that Allah swt hates me. What should I do??

        I feel so disgusting.

  33. brother ive been struggling with cutting + selfharm
    I have severe anxiety, panic disorder, and depression

    Brother whenever i touch my cuts and it starts to really hurt i get thoughts like "you're punishing yourself for your attractions" "you're punishing yourself for your sins" etc...

    I want these thoughts to go away but they are driving me insane!

    i didnt originally self-harm bc of my sins, iself harmed because of my depression
    but now whenever i move my wrist around or touch it i get these thoughts that im doing it to punsih myself or because im a sick disgusting person...i hate these thoughts so mcuh

    i need your help

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