Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Suicide in Islam

Rainbow in a brown sky

Dealing With Thoughts of Suicide

by Wael Abdelgawad for IslamicAnswers.com

I have been answering questions at IslamicAnswers.com (formerly AskBilqis.com) for over ten years now. I tend to see the same types of questions asked again and again. Some are from women trapped in abusive marriages, others from young people who are in love, or heartbroken, or confused. The questions that disturb me most of all are the ones from (usually young) people considering suicide.

I wish that our society today would not put our young Muslims in such difficult positions that their lives become cramped and hopeless. Many of our youth today are put in positions where it is almost impossible for them to marry; or they are denied marriage to the one they choose because of superficial circumstances; or they are pressured into marriage against their will; or they are raised with no guidance or teaching, so that they get into sinful lifestyles and are then burdened with sin and guilt and don't know how to purify themselves.

Insha'Allah I will try to impart some important messages and ideas to those of you who may have contemplated suicide, for any reason.

You are unique and you are loved

You, my brother or sister who is experiencing difficulty in your life, try to be strong and remind yourself of all the wonderful things in life. This world is so full of beauty, from the stars in the sky to the taste of a sweet apple in your mouth; from flowers blooming in spring time to the majesty of a lightning storm. There is so much to see and experience. There is so much mystery. Open your eyes to it. There are miracles all around you.

Dirt track in a beautiful field

The world is full of beauty and fresh opportunity

As far as your own existence, know that your life has meaning and purpose. Allah put you here on this earth for a reason. You are a unique person, the only one of your kind in the universe, and as such you are a treasure. Just as Allah created the stars, the oceans, and the majestic trees, He created you. In fact you dwarf them, because you are a creature of complexity and free will.

If it seems that those around you do not value you, it may be only that they do not know how to show it. Parents who were raised in families that do not express love freely may be uncomfortable showing affection to their own children or spouses. But that does not mean that they do not love you and care about you deeply.

Know, in any case, that Allah values you and cares about you.

In one of the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) we are told that, "Allah is more loving and kinder than a mother to her dear child."

In another saying, the Prophet (pbuh) said, “Allah has one hundred parts of mercy, of which He sent down one between the jinn, humankind, the animals and the insects, by means of which they are compassionate and merciful to one another, and by means of which wild animals are kind to their offspring. And Allah has kept back ninety-nine parts of mercy with which to be merciful to His slaves of the Day of Resurrection.” - Saheeh Muslim, al-Tawbah, 6908

Also, please believe that I care about you as well, even without knowing you, as do others who write about these subjects and speak about them. That is why we do it, because we care.

I would like to talk about why suicide is not the Muslim way; and to suggest a way forward for those who are having these thoughts.

First, consult a professional

Untreated and undiagnosed clinical mental illness is one of the leading causes of suicide. If you are depressed, and are truly suicidal, you should consult a psychiatrist or a primary care physician as soon as possible.

The majority of people who are suicidal are clinically depressed and require medication to function normally, and stabilize themselves. They lack the ability to control these types of thoughts because their thinking is distorted. The filter through which they view the world is flawed because of a chemical imbalance.

Prayer and faith may not always be enough for people are clinically depressed. They may feel that they have failed as Muslims, or are unloved by Allah; such thoughts persist and reinforce their depression.

So the first thing you should do is see your doctor and talk about the feelings you are having. Your doctor can refer you to someone who can help you deal with these feelings in an appropriate way. If you are clinically depressed, meaning there is something wrong with your brain chemistry that is causing your depression, there may be a medication that can make a huge difference for you. There's nothing wrong or shameful about this, any more than it would be if it were medication for a heart condition.

Suicide is not the Muslim way

Remember, we are Muslims, we do not kill ourselves! That is not our way. It is a sin, and it is NOT an answer to life's problems.

It's important that we turn to Allah in times of distress. He, our Creator, offers us comfort, guidance and care. He is not a vengeful God, seeking our destruction. Rather He is Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem, the Most Merciful and Mercy-Giving.

Some people seek solace in material things in times of stress. They might look to consumerism, drugs or alcohol. However, these things offer no answers.

We can find comfort in good friends, healthy hobbies, the beauty of nature, and even in a good book. More importantly, for a believer everything begins and ends with Allah. That's where we must start our search for a way forward out of our depression and sadness.

Allah never burdens someone with more than he can bear

Sun rays through the treesWhatever has befallen you, I guarantee that you are strong enough to bear it and come out stronger on the other side. How can I guarantee this? Because Allah says so in the Quran (Surat Al-Baqarah 2:286), in this beautiful verse which is also a wonderful dua' for those who are suffering:

"Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people." (Umm Muhammad translation)

Allah created you, and He knows your strengths and capabilities. No matter how tough your life circumstances seem, Allah knows that you can handle it, and that there is an important lesson in it for you, or an important test. We human beings are astonishingly resilient and we can tolerate much more than most of us realize.

At times like this, when life seems like a heavy weight driving us down, we do not ask questions like, "Why me?" Or "Why has Allah done this to me?" Or, "Is this a punishment for me?" Or, "Am I cursed?" Those are absolutely the wrong questions.

Why are they the wrong questions? Because they suppose that everyone else is having an easy time, skating through life, and we are the only ones burdened with pain and sadness. Every human being is tested. Every human being suffers. That is the nature of life. Life offers us happiness and pain; joy and suffering; peace and conflict. That is the common experience of every human being since Adam and Hawa, even the Prophets (peace be upon them all), in fact especially the Prophets and the righteous.

Allah says,

"And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient,

Who, when disaster strikes them, say, 'Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return.'

Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided."

(2:155-157)

In one verse of the Quraan Allah informs humankind,

"And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)." (Surah Adh-Dhariyat Verse 56)

Hardship is a part of life. It can be seen as a test, to see which way we will turn. So the questions we should be asking are:

* How can I respond to this situation in the best way, to show Allah that I recognize all the blessings in my life, and I am patient with my trials?

* How can I turn to Allah at this time, to seek strength and comfort from Him?

* How can I use all the faculties and gifts that Allah has given me to find a solution to this problem, even one that does not seem obvious?

* What do I have in my life that is good, that I can find happiness in, and be grateful for?

* How can I learn from this test, so that I come out of it a wiser and stronger human being and believer?

Suicide is a great sin

Suicide is one of the great sins in Islam. Allah says explicitly in the Quran,

"And do not kill yourselves. Surely, Allah is Most Merciful to you." (Surah An-Nisa Verse 29)

In another verse of the Quaan, Allah says:

"And do not throw yourselves in destruction." (Surah Al-Baqarah Verse 195)

In a hadith, the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) described the people who commit suicide as being in Hell, forced to commit their method of suicide again and again.

Actually, something occurs to me about this. In life, when we make mistakes we have the opportunity to learn from them. In the process we grow spiritually, and we find a better way. Learning from mistakes is a vital part of our earthly experience.

When you commit suicide, you cut this process short. Suicide itself is the greatest mistake, but because it ends your earthly life, there is no opportunity to learn from it, no chance to grow spiritually, no way to do better next time.

 

The time of our life's ending is determined by Allah, and is part of our Qadr. It's not up to us to end it. Doing so would be like saying to Allah, "I refuse this gift of Yours, and I deny Your right of giving and taking life." A person who commits suicide claims for himself one of the rights of Allah, which is the ending of life.

That's why Allah says in a Hadith Qudsi, speaking of the one who commits suicide: “My servant has precipitated My will with regard to himself! Therefore, I am forbidding him entry into heaven.”

Please note however that this applies to someone who is sane and in control of his faculties. Allah may deny him Paradise if he commits suicide.

As for someone who is mentally unstable or insane, Adil Salahi says:

"A person who commits suicide as a result of a mental disorder like depression or some other severe form of anxiety is not in full control of his senses. We cannot say how God will judge such a person, but we trust to God’s justice, because He does not deal unfairly with anyone. We pray for the person concerned, and request God to forgive him. When a man committed suicide during the Prophet’s lifetime, the Prophet was distressed. He did not perform the janazah prayer for the deceased, but he ordered his companions to do it. When they did, they prayed for the man and requested God’s forgiveness for him. This shows that the Prophet did not exclude the possibility of his being forgiven by God."

Life is short enough

Life is short enough already! The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said that he was in this world like a rider who stopped to rest in the shade of a tree, then went on and left it behind.

We are like the flowers that bloom when the spring rain falls, then die. Our lives are that short, that quickly over. How many thousands of generations have passed before us, and where are they now? Do you see any sign of them, except for some old buildings falling down? Thousands of generations, gone like dust.

With life so short, it is precious. It's a chance to please Allah and do good deeds, and earn our spot in Jannah, Insha'Allah. No need to end our own lives and speed our way to the punishment of Hell. It's better to do whatever we have to do in order to change our lives. Even if we have to make drastic changes, isn't it better to live, and see another sunrise, and have hope?

Flower reflected in a drop of water

Life is precious and rare

Life is precious and is a trust

Every breath that you take is worth more than a precious gem. Every single moment of life, as your heart pumps and your blood flows, is worth more than all the world and everything in it, because if life is lost then what is the world? No treasury of any King, no vast estate of any Sultan, no great palace of stone and gold, is worth more than one single moment of your life.

Out of all the bounties Allah has bestowed upon human beings, the most precious is the gift of life. This precious gift is given to us in trust. It is not our personal possession or our personal property. We are trustees. Because we are trustees we should utilise each and every moment of our lives in the paths that please Allah.

Suicide hurts the people you love

People who contemplate suicide sometimes think their family members will be better off without them. "I'm only dragging them down," you might think. "They'll be happier when I'm gone." Or, "They don't love me. They won't even miss me."

You're wrong. That's just your depression talking. I guarantee you that no matter what your situation is in life, and no matter how bad your relationship with your family might be, your suicide will devastate them. Family survivors often feel depression, guilt, anger and confusion. Sometimes they feel like failures for not seeing the impending suicide and stopping it.

Worst of all, suicide can be contagious. It's well known that family survivors of a suicide have a much greater chance of committing suicide themselves. Imagine your child one day committing suicide, or a niece or nephew, or even a friend. I know you don't want that.

There are other options

Anyone who commits suicide feels there are no other options.

My friend, there are always other options. They might be extreme options, or they might be simple avenues you have not considered. When you're depressed, your vision narrows and you don't see possible solutions.

In Islam we have many wonderful tools for changing our lives and renewing our commitment to faith. We have Tawbah (repentance) that can be performed anytime; the daily cleansing of Salat; the powerful purification of Ramadan; the good feeling and reward that comes from giving Zakat and Sadaqah (charity) to those who are less fortunate; and the life-changing spiritual renewal of the Hajj.

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala does not restrict His interaction with humanity to making rules and punishing sinners. Allah is there at any time to hear our prayers, to offer us forgiveness and guidance, and to help us. When we have problems in life, we must turn to Allah and seek solace. Allah will help us and give us the strength and peace we need.

Beyond that, there are changes we can make to our lives that will help us to see the way forward. Rather than take a drastic step that can never be undone, please go through the following steps that I have outlined:

8-Point Plan for Change

Dear brothers and sisters, I hope you have understood that before anything else, you must put away the idea of suicide. That is not our way as Muslims. There are other ways to deal with your problems. As Muslims we have many resources and solutions to our problems.

I will lay out a specific plan for you to follow in order to refresh your heart and renew your faith:

1. Tawbah

Yes, you have committed sins, just like every single human being on the face of the earth, except for the Prophets and Messengers. But we Muslims have a great gift, which is that we can cleanse ourselves through Tawbah. You must stop committing the sin right away, ask Allah for forgiveness, and resolve firmly not to do it again.

2. Salat and Dua'

Start doing your prayers. If you can't manage it five times a day, do as many as you can. If you don't know how to do the salat, get a religious brother or sister to teach you. Don't worry right now about learning every aspect of Islam. Just focus on salat. Imagine that Allah is in front of you, and ask Him for forgiveness. Remember that the salat is a river in which you bathe five times every day, and it washes away your sins.

Share your burdens with Allah. Ask Him to help you and make your life easier. The Quran says, "Whoever is conscious of Allah, Allah makes for him a way out, and provides for him from a direction he does not expect." Allah can help you solve your problems and find your way to a better life.

See this page on our website: Dua' for anxiety and stress

3. Ramadan

Start getting yourself ready mentally and spiritually for Ramadan. It's never more than 11 months away, and never too early to begin preparing for it. Think of it as an opportunity to cleanse your soul and strengthen your spirit. Make a plan to spend your Ramadan as much as possible around people of strong faith who will support you.

4. Change your self-image

One young lady, who had committed some sins, wrote to me and said about herself, "I'm a wreck, a shame to society, I hate my life..." This kind of thinking is common in people who have suicidal thoughts. To change your life, indeed to save your life, you must change the way you think about yourself. When you tell yourself that you are a mess, a shame, etc, you are creating a destructive self-image that stops you from changing.

Try this: anytime you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, I want you to push the negative thoughts away and instead repeat these self-affirmations (write them down if necessary and carry them with you). I made up these affirmations based on Islamic principles. I have used them in the past for myself, and I have found them to be very effective. You can use these, or you can write similar affirmations of your own according to your needs:

  1. I am a Muslim. Islam is my faith and my cherished way of life. I choose Islam because it is beautiful and true. (You can also say the shahadah here).
  2. I am a believer in Allah (a mu'min). Allah is my guide and the One in whom I trust. (At this point you can praise Allah further and ask Him for strength and guidance).
  3. I am a good and worthwhile person. I have many good qualities, ma-sha-Allah. (At this point, name some of your good qualities).
  4. I have the power to change my life for the better, with Allah's help.
  5. I thank Allah for all the blessings in my life. (At this point, name some of the blessings in your life and thank Allah for each one).

Say these affirmations out loud at least once every day, and if you can do them twice a day (once in the morning and once at night) that's even better. Insert your name after you say "I", so for example, if you name is Fatima, you would say, "I, Fatimah, am a Muslim." Same for all the other points. Say them out loud, and mention your name.

Regarding point number three, some people might say, "But I have no good qualities." That's nonsense. Everyone has good qualities. Maybe you're a loyal friend, maybe you're kind to animals, maybe you're a good cook or a good writer. The point is to always find something good to say about yourself.

Regarding point number five, the blessings that you name in your life could be big or small: good health, food to eat, the sunshine on your face, and of course Islam itself is the biggest blessing of all.

Perhaps this sounds like some kind of charm, but it's not. It's a way of changing your self-image by programming your subconscious with the beliefs that you want to have about yourself.

5. Change your friends

This is important. If you've been living a sinful lifestyle, then you have to stop hanging around the friends that you drink with, or do drugs with, or the boyfriend/girlfriend that you committed zina (fornication) with. You must cut off all contact with them. Even if you think that you can be around them but resist what they are doing, the problem is that one thing can lead to another. It will be difficult to change your life if you are still surrounded by people who live a sinful lifestyle.

If you know any brothers and sisters who are religious and supportive, get to know them and spend your time with them as much as possible. Get involved in a Muslim youth group, or volunteer with an Islamic organization, go to the masjid, get yourself a halal hobby to occupy your time and give yourself something to focus on (martial arts or other sports, chess club, computer club, learning a new language, volunteer with a non-profit organization, etc).

6. Counseling

You need to see a counselor or therapist and talk out some of the feelings you are having. This will help you. If you are a student try your student health clinic, they always have a counselor on staff. If you are not a student you can try your public health clinic. If you can find a Muslim counselor, that would be great. A certified Muslim counselor would be ideal, but a non-Muslim would be fine also.

7. Find something that gives you joy

I touched on this earlier. You must find something that gives you joy and pleasure in life, and devote yourself to it. Get out of the house and become part of something. If you don't have a job, then do volunteer work. The writer of one of our sister websites, TeenPerspectives.com, volunteered for years at a local hospital and she found it very rewarding.

Get involved in a sport, or start a blog, take some college classes, or write poetry. There must be something good and halal in life that gives you pleasure. Find that thing and amplify it.

8. Medication if ncessary

I'm hesitant to add this point, because I think people in the West rely far too often on medication as a way to address problems that are actually spiritual in nature. If your depression is something that you've experienced only recently as a result of your life choices, then the previous six points will be enough for you and you do not need any medication.

However, if your depression has been a long-term thing (months or years), and doesn't seem related to your life circumstances, then it's possible that you are clinically depressed and you may benefit from a depression medication. Your counselor or physician should be qualified to assess this and refer you to someone if necessary.

My Own Experience

In 2008 and 2009 I went through a few experiences that devastated me emotionally. I prefer not to go into details, but I was plunged into the deepest depression of my life. I couldn't work, and had trouble focusing on anything. I used to do a lot of driving back then, and at times - when I was alone in the car - I would imagine accelerating to a high speed and then crashing the car into a tree or light pole.

I remember one night I was having dinner with my daughter, who was only three years old at the time. I was trying to smile for her and not show my inner turmoil. But she looked up at me and said, "You seem sad, Baba." Tears began rolling down my cheeks and I said, "Yes, I am, but not because of you. You make me very happy."

There were four things that saved me, and eventually brought me out of my depression:

  1. Allah. In my heart of hearts, I knew that Allah would never abandon me. I could not see the way forward, but I trusted that Allah would provide it. Also, I feared His punishment if I were to take my own life.
  2. My daughter. I could never do anything to hurt her. She needs me. She is more important to me than my own life.
  3. Martial arts. This is my thing. I train in martial arts every day. The activity, the motion, keeps me emotionally stable. When I'm training, I forget everything else. It also gets me out of the house, and connects me to other people.
  4. Affirmations. As I've described above, I wrote a set of affirmations and read them every day. They helped to remind me of who I was, and

I'm not comparing myself to anyone else. I'm fortunate, for example, that I don't suffer from a mental illness like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Everyone's life is different. Everyone has their own set of circumstances to deal with. You must find the things that have meaning to you, and can give you hope, or at least distract you for a while, until the pain of your situation lessens, or the problem itself is resolved.

I pray for you and I wish you the best. If anything I wrote here seemed hurtful or unkind, I apologize. It's not always easy to find the right words to comfort someone who is suffering. All I can tell you is that I care.

O Allah, we hope for Your mercy, so leave us not to ourselves even for as little as the blink of an eye, and set right all our affairs, there is no God but You!

- a dua of the Prophet (pbuh)

By the time!
Indeed humankind is in loss;
Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.

- Quran, Surat Al-Asr

Also see some of the other questions and answers that have dealt with the subject of suicide:

421 Responses »

  1. Dear admin,
    This is a very important question for me. I have done certain wrong things in past, some i did knowinngly and some unknowingly. But i am trying to change and i am repenting to Allah subhana wataala. Allah if he wills will accept my repentence and forgive my sins, but it is the people. They are never going to forgive me. I am constantly getting judged based on it. Severing the ties of kinship is a sin. So that is why i always visit my aunts and uncles. But the thing is they treat me very badly. I cannot stop visiting them or talking to them since they are my kins. My life lately is a great havoc, I am constantly praying to Allah. But when my family treats me like dirt, i consider just dying a better option. I know that it is waswas of shaytan but i need help , regarding what i should do. Please help me. Should i stop meeting them or i should continue to meet them.

    • ayesha, there's a balance between severing your ties with your family, and spending so much time with them. My recommendation, if they truly are blaming you for the past and treating you badly, is to see them less often. Cut back on your communication with them. See them only on important holidays.

      More importantly, you have to know who you are, no matter what anyone else says or thinks. You must discover your self-identity and cleave to that, paying no mind to what others say.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Assalamualaikum. I have the same problem and only God knows how much of depression I'm facing till I start getting nightmares about myself attempting for suicide. My family is judging me based on my past too and they see no good in me even if I do good for them sincerely. They still think that I am ingenuine in all the good things I do and now I have decided to care my own business and try as hard as possible to not burden anyone. Therefore, I've been so quiet nowadays at home and literally do not bother to talk to anyone unless if they ask anything and that, only happens at least once a day. I get the feeling that they also couldn't care less about what's happening to me even though I tried thoroughly to make them happy before. Since then, I stopped talking because the more I try, the more it hurts to see them not appreciating my efforts. I don't know if I am being sentimental but I really do think it's because of my past that it seems impossible for them to see me as someone trying to change for good. Now, the only relationship that I worry is mine with Allah SWT. Is it bad that I avoid from talking to my family? Because like I was trying to say, all they do is trying to see the faults in me and it hurts me more than anything. It's nothing actually, it only hurts because I feel like I am unloved. I know I have Allah and that is more than sufficient, but I feel like something is wrong. Probably in what I am doing which is trying to break the ties of kinship, is it considered as severing the ties of kinship? I cannot handle having their "You're so fake" reactions, even though they do not say it but the way they deny my kindness I know they're saying that deep inside. And also, my father got mad at me today and said to me that he thinks I think that I am better than everyone else for being so quiet which is utterly wrong. All I do is trying to not commit mistakes by stop saying the wrong things that might offend people but my father completely mistakes me. Basically, my life is full of people misunderstanding me and completely translating myself to something I am not and it is a pain in the neck to just watch them doing that. The reason why I don't correct them is because I have no guts or no wants or both at the same time. Is it wrong to get to the point where you stop caring completely about what others think? I worry if I keep this kind of attitude, I won't be having any friends. I worry about who will visit me when I die. Please, help me.

  2. I was wondering... since Allah is in control of who dies, and in what way... What if a person attempts suicide, and they either live through it, or die; wouldn't either be because Allah has willed it to be that way? May Allah forgive if what I'm writing/asking sounds so bad, but I'm really just asking because of confusion... isn't it possible for Allah to have predetermined that someone's death will be brought by their own depression/suicide/self-destruction?

    • Allah has knowledge of all things. However, we human beings were given free will. We have control over our own actions. If someone chooses suicide, that is his own choice (assuming is not mentally ill). Allah did not force his hand.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • dear admin...

        • mrskhan, please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will respond to you in turn Insha'Allah.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • I am suffering from heavy depression and feel really suicidal. I'm a really good dancer and I dance really well. I danced at my year 11 prom because everyone encouraged me to dance because of my skill. Ever since I feel guilty as to why I danced and feel really upset because I keep getting a knot feeling in my stomach. I always feel like someone is stabbing me on my lips and I don't know what to do. I repeatedly keep seeing this girl who I don't like or desire. After praying Sarah or listening to Quran I would see the same girl and I feel really paranoid and scared as to why I keep seeing her. I keep hearing voices in my head saying allah hates you and he has created you just to ruin your life. Please can someone help me because I can't study or carry out my day to day activities with a positive attitude because I feel really paranoid and depressed. I feel really suicidal because I can't progress in life and I feel like my life has finished. I have lost everything. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong and I can't counteract it because I keep getting stomach pains. Please someone help. Please I need help.

        • As-salamu alaykum brother Imran. What you did (dancing at the prom) is a relatively minor thing. As for all the negative thoughts, you might be experiencing some form of mental illness. I suggest you see a counselor or therapist; if necessary, they may prescribe medication. In the meantime, be regular with your salat and dhikr. Listen to Quran when you have idle time. When the negative thoughts come, just push them away, even if you have to do it again and again. And rest assured that Allah certainly does not hate you; He cares for you and wants good for you. He has a good plan for you, even if you cannot see it yet. Be patient. I am confident that you can get better, Insha'Allah.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Wasalam I have tried counselling and therapy as I have been going through this situation for 2 years and it is still happening. I really want to commit suicide because I can't study or do anything in life. I always pray and do dhikr but whenever I pray I feel uncomfortable and keep getting stomach pains. I feel like I'm going to lose faith and I don't know what to do. I don't know whether this is punishment or a test or an affliction. I don't if someone has done black magic on me or something. I keep getting stomach pains and dry lips. I have lost everything in life and feel very depressed. Please can someone help me. I feel really suicidal and I am helpless. I feel very lonely and isolated. I can't eat or drink and I feel very scared. I feel like Allah hates me and because of this I am losing faith and I can't pray or read quran as my life has been damaged severly. I always make dua but I feel like Allah never accepts my duas and he has just created me to make my life a misery. I hate my life and I feel very suicidal. I seriously don't know what is wrong with me but this happened all of a sudden. I also keep repeatedly seeing this girl in my mind who I don't desire and I don't know what to do. I feel very anxious as to why I keep seeing her. I pray that she goes away from my mind but I see her more after I pray.

  3. Well I have a problem. So of course, I came online (being the person I am) because It feels good getting answers from anonymus people every once in a while☺ Anyway, what happenes if your too grievend, that you dont care if your going to hell, you just wanna end your life? I already know killing and harming yourself is a big sin, but what if your so sad that if you stay alive you will just do more sins? Wouldnt be better to die with a cleaner heart? Second of all, I have been praying a lot lately, but that just never works. I dont feel the connection with god? Usually, i get so sad and depressed inside, i write negative stuff on my body and i get choclate wrappers and stick negative quotes inside the white filling. Since its Ramadan, i have fasted a whole day, and i decided to skip iftar so i could lose weight. I dont know if i can "stay strong" because everything in my life is going wrong. I love allah, and i understand that he is very merciful and that i am being tested. But its too much for me to handle. And dua and prayer just dont seem to work. I am shia btw. When i fast in ramadan, i skip suhoor because i tell myself i will have iftar, but i end up skipping iftar too. Im actually having doubts that allah really loves me because after all the hardships of my life, why does allah give me more?

    • AsSalaamu Alaikum sister Leyla,

      I am sorry to know that you are going through all this. May Allah ease things for you. However, please do not allow shaitaan to deceive you and make you think that, when you commit suicide, you will die with a cleaner heart--it is in fact, the contrary. When the heart is cleaner it means, it lives and enjoys the pleasure of Allah in His obedience, till it meets Allah in its state of cleanness.

      The gravity of your entire sins (from the first till now), is far lesser than the gravity of committing a suicide, because when you commit a suicide, your sin is equivalent to the sins a person who has killed the whole mankind (from Adam to the last human being on earth). Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says: "...whoever kills a soul unless for a soul or for corruption [done] in the land - it is as if he killed the whole of mankind..." (Quran 5: 32)

      However, I will show you some beautiful du'a and dhikr from the sunnah, inshaAllah. You should do them while keeping up with your daily fards along side.

      Firstly, see what are the suitable hours in each day/night for you to be alone, with no interruption nor disturbance of the daily-life activities, and then make for yourself a schedule for dhikr from those hours. You may choose to follow the dhikr and du'a below, which are from the sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam (also before iftar, between adhan and salah, and late hours in the night, are all recommended in the sunnah).

      1- La ilaaha illallahul 'Adhweemul ’Aleem, La ilaaha illallahu, Rabbul ‘arshil ‘Adhweem, Laa ilaaha illallahu, Rabbus-Samawati wa rabbul ardi wa rabbul ‘arshil kareem (There is no god but Allah, the Mighty, the Forbearing, there is no god but Allah, the Lord of the mighty throne, there is no god but Allah, the Lord of the heavens and the earth, and the Lord of the throne of honor)’.

      2- La ilaaha illaa Anta, subhaanaka, inni kuntu minaz-zalimeen (there is no god but You, You are far exalted and above all weaknesses, and I was indeed the wrongdoer).

      3- Ya Hayyu, ya Qayyumu, bi-rahmatika astagheethu. Aswlih lee sha'ni kullahu, wa laa takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘ain (O the Living, O the Eternal, I seek help in Your grace. Set right all my affairs, and give me not over to my self even for as little as wink of an eye).

      You may start by learning and reflecting on their meanings, till when you understand them, you combine your reflection with your dhikr together in one act--meaning you reflect on them while doing the dhikr, so that you know and mean what you saying. Doing so will gradually attain you the yaqeen with the knowledge of Allah, inshaAllah--and the yaqeen has a strong impact on the heart's life and happiness, as the yaqeen also helps, when asking Allah for something good in Dunya and Akhira, inshaAllah. The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said: “Pray to Allah while you feel yaqeen (certain) of an answer. And know that Allah does not answer a prayer from an indifferent, playful heart.” [Tirmidhi 3490]

      Please know that according to authentic ahadith "La ilaaha illallahu" or "La ilaaha illa Anta" is the best dhikr, and in some ahadith "Yaa Hayyu, Yaa Qayyumu" is Allah's greatest and most beautiful name--in addition to the evidences from the Holy Quran and ahadiths, many scholars of the heart (like Shiekh ibn Taymiyyah and His student, imam ibn al-Qayyim) have confirmed (through experience) that Yaa Hayyu, Yaa Qayyumu, is indeed Allah's greatest name and that it has a great impact on the heart's life.

      Allah knows best.

      • The du'as and dhikr again:

        1- La ilaaha illallahul 'Adhweemul Haleem, La ilaaha illallahu, Rabbul ‘arshil ‘Adhweem, Laa ilaaha illallahu, Rabbus-Samawati wa rabbul ardi wa rabbul ‘arshil kareem (There is no god but Allah, the Mighty, the Forbearing, there is no god but Allah, the Lord of the mighty throne, there is no god but Allah, the Lord of the heavens and the earth, and the Lord of the throne of honor)’.

        Hazrat Ibn ‘Abbas reported, “The Prophet, peace be upon him, at times of sorrow and grief used to supplicate, La ilaha illa Allah Al-’Azim, Al-Haleem, la ilaha illa Allah, Rabbul ‘arshil ‘Azim, la ilaha illa Allahu, Rabbus-Samawati wa rabbul ardi wa rabbul ‘arshi karim (There is no god but Allah, the Mighty, the Forbearing, there is no god but Allah, the Lord of the mighty throne, there is no god but Allah, the Lord of the heavens and the earth, and the Lord of the throne of honor)’.”
        Source: (Bukhari and Muslim)

        2- La ilaaha illaa Anta, subhaanaka, inni kuntu minaz-zalimeen (there is no god but You, You are far exalted and above all weaknesses, and I was indeed the wrongdoer).

        Hazrat Sa’d ibn Waqas reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “The supplication made by the Companion of the Fish (Prophet Yunus) in the belly of the fish was, ‘La ilaha illa anta, subhanaka, inni kuntu minaz-zalimin (there is no god but You, You are far exalted and above all weaknesses, and I was indeed the wrongdoer)’. If any Muslim supplicates in these words, his supplication will be accepted.” In another report we read, “I know words that will cause Allah to remove one’s distress. These are the words (of supplication) of my brother Yunus, peace be upon him,”
        Source: (Tirmidhi)

        3- Ya Hayyu, ya Qayyumu, bi-rahmatika astagheethu. Aswlih lee sha'ni kullahu, wa laa takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘ain (O the Living, O the Eternal, I seek help in Your grace. Set right all my affairs, and give me not over to my self even for as little as wink of an eye).

        Hazrat Anas ibn Maalik (Radhiallaahu Anhu) reports that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) once mentioned to Sayyiduna Faatima (Radhiallaahu Anha) to recite the following supplication morning and evening,..Ya Hayyu, ya Qayyumu, bi-rahmatika astagheethu. Aswlih lee sha'ni kullahu, wa laa takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘ain (O the Living, O the Eternal, I seek help in Your grace. Set right all my affairs, and give me not over to my self even for as little as wink of an eye)
        Source: (Mustadrak al-Haakim vol.1 pg.545; Shu'ubul Iemaan of Imaam Bayhaqi Hadith No.:760, 761) Imaam Haakim and Imaam Dhahabiy have classified this narration as Sahih
        (authentic).

        Hazrat Anas said that when the Prophet, peace be upon him, was faced with a serious difficulty, he would always supplicate, “Ya Hayyu, ya Qayyumu, bi-rahmatika astaghithu (O the Living, O the Eternal, I seek help in Your grace).
        Source: Tirmidhi
        ----------------------------------------------

        Hazrat Abu Hurairah reported that whenever the Prophet, peace be upon him, was faced with a serious difficulty, he would raise his head to the sky and supplicate, “Subhan-Allah al-’Azim (glory be to Allah, the Mighty).” And when he implored seriously and strongly, he would say “Ya Hayyu, Ya Qayyum (O the Living, the Eternal One).”
        Source: Tirmidhi
        ----------------------------------------------

        Hazrat Abu Bakr (r) reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “The supplications of distress are, ‘Allahumma rahmataka arju, fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘ain, wa aslih li sha’ni kullahu, la ilaha illa anta (O Allah, I hope for Your mercy, so give me not over to my self even for as little as wink of an eye, and set right all my affairs, there is no god but You).”
        Source: Abu Daw’ud

        You may see the below link, as well inshaAllah,

        http://www.qtafsir.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=140&Itemid=36

        • Woah!!! May Allah bless you for that beautiful answer @issah. Thanks so much! I will do the duas for sure! But just one more question : why do i get messages in my prayers and duas and sleep to commit suicide? Why is it the shaytaan if i got rid of him by trying to stop my sins and praying daily? Thx

        • Issah, thank you for that wonderful answer and may allah bless you. I will do all of the duas you suggested. I really love that you took your time to answer me. But Allah has closed his door on me. Allah hates me, he probably cant stand me. If he doesnt hate me, why did i cut mt wrist with a razor last night? I liked eeing the blood flowing down as a symbol of overpower for me. I pray. I did your duas. Allah still hates me because he is not answering. Please help.

          • Sister I might sound harsh but it's for you so plz forgive me my words..

            Allah loves us 70 times more then a mother love her child. It's not really that easy to make Allah to accept our dua in overnight. You have to keep doing it till your last breath. My father used to tell me that when people ask something good from Allah he do give them but after receiving the good we forget to thank Allah and we stop our dua. So generally most of us who facing trouble is the result of it. Unfortunately we made shaitan our best friend not Allah. Still Allah showe us way to get out of this mess and become closer to Allah still we most of us fail but still there is a hope. Don't stop praying nor dua. You did cut your wrist if you really want to be closer to Allah you should have rather take the qaran and read Instand of that. Allah never close his door on us it's us to chose the wrong door. Another thing now shaitan is loocked up in hell and hell doors are closed still you might think why I am doing wrong thing because it is in your nafs. So to remove this from your nafs you have to be sincer to Allah while praying and making dua the result is while you do dua naturally you will start crying.

            I pray at mosque alhumdulillah specially in fajr time after prayer I can hear only people crying around me I look around and see everyone making dua and crying most of them are age 40 to 80.

        • Issah, thank you for that wonderful answer and may allah bless you. I will do all of the duas you suggested. I really love that you took your time to answer me.

        • Issah, thank you for that wonderful answer and may allah bless you. I will do all of the duas you suggested. I really love that you took your time to answer me.

          • Sister Leyla,

            Brother Hamza has given you a wonderful advice, so please take it from him, ok. The du'a and dhikr I mentioned for you are not a one day job. You need to keep on doing them (if possible, then everyday, with at least the minimum amount of your free time) till you attain the yaqeen--you should repeat them as much as you can, while reflecting, and doing them a bit slowly, not too faster. Please remember that the yaqeen is attained through the gradual level, because our hearts need much time to be refined, purified and soothed--and therefore, the only thing that can help us throughout this, is our sincerity and patience, inshaAllah.

            Also, please know that, you might also need to see a doctor, because Allah wants you to at least try for yourself, so that He helps you, you know?! So please see a doctor and explain to them everything that you are experiencing, perhaps, they would also help with some useful medications, inshaAllah.

  4. Brother Hamza. May allah bless you too. I agree with both of you, but i dont think i need to see a doctor. See, you dont know whats going on in my life. I am cursed upon. Or at least I probably am. I keep having these bad thoughts and these bad dreams. I would usually have these dreams (like last night) where i wake up with a harsh fever and cold and I wake up screaming. I think the shaytaan has sent me a dream. I dont know why, but maybe. Jin is bothering me. It is very difficult in times like these to have good thoughts and have fun. My duas are finally being accepted, mashallah, just that i want to be like the other muslims. No weird dreams or brain ,or anything.

    • Ok, sister Leyla. Lets try this insha Allah. Add the following ruqyah to the previous du'a and dhikr. Listen to the ruqyah everyday, especially before you go to sleep (and if possible, put it on continuous-play). Continue this procedure for at least a month, while you observe the changes inshaAllah.

      • Thanks!!! All I needed was some dua!!! I feel so much better and more alive now!!! I hope you get credits and blesings from Allah with all this wonderful and amazing advice. You are a wonderful person

        • Assalaamualaikam

          Alhamdulillah, I'm glad to know you are getting through this. Remember that no matter how difficult the path we walk seems, we are never alone. Allah is always with us. When you feel despair and hopelessness creeping in, turn to Him - make dua, read Quran, read about The Prophet (peace be upon him) and his Companions (may Allah be pleased with them).

          Midnightmoon
          IslamicAnswers.com editor

        • AsSalaamu Alaikum sister Leyla,

          Alhamdulillah, I'm so glad to know that Allah is making you feel much better and more alive. Please keep on doing the things that are making you feel closer to Allah, like reading the Holy Quran, listening to the ruqyah, and making duas and dhikr every day and night ok.

          Also, please feel free to write to us here again, whenever you feel like talking to someone ok. We are here for you, because we love you for the sake of Allah, ok.

          InshaAllah we will make du'a for you, ok!

    • Read ayatul kursi hope you know even if you don't know try to memorize it will save your half life. I think you should consult a psychiatrist I fear now that you will commit something terrible thing which will be hateful in Allahs eye I am a psychiatrist and I strongly recommend you should go don't delay don't let saitan will over you. Die as a Allahs friend you will be in peace an if you commit bad thing then you will regret for coming back to the world which won't happen..

      • Dear sister,

        “And if Allah should touch you with adversity, there is no remover of it except Him; and if He intends good for you, then there is none who can repel His Favour. He causes it to reach whom He wills of His servants. And He is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” [Yunus: 107]

        There are 2 states that every single living thing goes through in life: times of hardship and times of bounty. There’ll be days where you struggle, and there’ll be days when you rejoice and are happy. They exist so there’s no point in denying them, neither for yourself nor for others. But in the verse above, Allah makes it clear that these states run according to His Mashee’ah (Will), and the verbs He uses for them really help us understand the way He works:

        When it comes to adversity and trials, He uses the verb ‘yamsaska’ (from the root massa) which means ‘to touch’. This gives you the idea that trials on this earth merely just ‘touch’ a person. They will come but they will also quickly go, because a touch never stays. Also, when you touch a person on the shoulder for example, you are usually alerting them or trying to get their attention, and it’s always done out of concern or love. This is how we should view the tests of Allah, when they come to a person (and to Allah is the Highest example).

        In the next part, Allah says ‘and if He intends good for you’… He doesn’t use the term ‘touch’ here, but rather one of intention. Whoever knows His Lord will be so happy at reading this part because there is none who fulfills His Promise as much as Allah does. His intention and iradah *is* His Decree and His Promise, and once He intends good for you, there is nobody, absolutely nobody that can take it away from you, try as they may, strive as they wish.

        Both these states of hardship and goodness are directed to every slave of Allah and this is why He says afterwards: ‘Yuseebu bihi’ (causes it to reach) – i.e. it’s like a spear or targeted arrow which never misses the spot. We usually associate this example with bad things, but we never think about how it also relates to good things. When the khayr (good) is directed at you, it will never miss you, so don’t think that your life is bereft of good stuff when all it takes is one intent from Allah and before you know it, His bounties are poured over you. But if you must struggle in your life, then realise it will merely be like a touch before it is lifted from you, so in both cases, rejoice and take delight in the beautiful way that Allah works in our lives. Allahu Akbar!
        “And if Allah should touch you with adversity, there is no remover of it except Him; and if He intends good for you, then there is none who can repel His Favour. He causes it to reach whom He wills of His servants. And He is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” [Yunus: 107]

        There are 2 states that every single living thing goes through in life: times of hardship and times of bounty. There’ll be days where you struggle, and there’ll be days when you rejoice and are happy. They exist so there’s no point in denying them, neither for yourself nor for others. But in the verse above, Allah makes it clear that these states run according to His Mashee’ah (Will), and the verbs He uses for them really help us understand the way He works:

        When it comes to adversity and trials, He uses the verb ‘yamsaska’ (from the root massa) which means ‘to touch’. This gives you the idea that trials on this earth merely just ‘touch’ a person. They will come but they will also quickly go, because a touch never stays. Also, when you touch a person on the shoulder for example, you are usually alerting them or trying to get their attention, and it’s always done out of concern or love. This is how we should view the tests of Allah, when they come to a person (and to Allah is the Highest example).

        In the next part, Allah says ‘and if He intends good for you’… He doesn’t use the term ‘touch’ here, but rather one of intention. Whoever knows His Lord will be so happy at reading this part because there is none who fulfills His Promise as much as Allah does. His intention and iradah *is* His Decree and His Promise, and once He intends good for you, there is nobody, absolutely nobody that can take it away from you, try as they may, strive as they wish.

        Both these states of hardship and goodness are directed to every slave of Allah and this is why He says afterwards: ‘Yuseebu bihi’ (causes it to reach) – i.e. it’s like a spear or targeted arrow which never misses the spot. We usually associate this example with bad things, but we never think about how it also relates to good things. When the khayr (good) is directed at you, it will never miss you, so don’t think that your life is bereft of good stuff when all it takes is one intent from Allah and before you know it, His bounties are poured over you. But if you must struggle in your life, then realise it will merely be like a touch before it is lifted from you, so in both cases, rejoice and take delight in the beautiful way that Allah works in our lives.

        Allahu Akbar!

        • Very insightful comments Abdhur, ma-sha-Allah.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Alhumdulillah brother I try my best to show Muslim or non Muslim friend the true meaning of islam and purpose of our life. My father was a scholar ( May Allah be peace with him) but non of our brother could follow his route but atleast try in other way.

          I hope this sister will see the true meaning of life and save from saitan. I think I double pasted my comment I wrote it in notes first . If possible can delet the copy one.

          Allah hafez..

        • I don't think you understood what brother abdhur said in his advice I think you should read one by one line don't read just you have to read and make it use in your life if you don't want to die as a disbeliever. Brother Issah and brother hamza shows you where is the light it's now you have to turn it on. If you read qaran and understand the meanin you won't even dare to take those kind of step. Saitan is made fire but guess what he will also burn in hell. You have no idea what hell is like nor I know but my 10yrs ago one of my cousin raped a girl he was bad (now Mashallah you is changed like a merical ) when he got fear that police will arrest him he tried to burn himself (commit suicide) when he started from hand only up to wrist got. Burn and he was looking for water to put his hand. He went to one scholar and told him his story the scholar said you wear looking for water just got burnt only upto wrist where will you find water in hell? Even in hell the water you will get is boiled. He said repent to Allah make tawba and walk on straight path as far as possible. When it will be time for your death, death will come to you don't worry. Use this time to do good deeds don't waste it on how to die as this is not the result.

      • It's allright, our dear sister Leyla,

        In addition to the tears I shared, while reading your post, I really made lots of du'as for you, my sister, because I understood that the only thing you needed was much du'as.

        Sister Leila, perhaps, because of your family's behaviour, you haven't got the chance to express much of your feelings or thoughts to anyone you could trust, because none of them had the time for you, and plus they seem to be part of the problem, right?! However, my sister, I would like you to understand that, we (on this site) are your true family, and we are ready to listen to you attentively, so please know that, you don't need to hide anything from us ok. Because when you hide something from us, it may be difficult for us to understand your situation clearly, which might result us giving you the wrong advice.

        Also, please know that, Allah accepts freedom of speech, therefore don't think that He is going to punish you for expressing what is inside you, so feel free my little sister, to express whatever is bothering you, ok.

        Please continue the du'as we gave you, plus the ruqyah, and then let us know after three or four weeks, how you feel, inshaAllah. You may think that the du'as do not work, due to your past experience with du'as in general, but I do extremely believe (with personal experience) that they really do work, so please give them a try, and you wont regret it, inshaAllah.

      • Read the Qur'an in english with an open mind inshallah you will get rid of your suicidal thoughts. Visit the masjid talk with muslim woman or imam tell them how you are feeling they will help you salam.

  5. asak,

    I am looking for answers I feel like my lifes just going...
    I feel as if there is no hope for me. I feel empty, alone and heartbroken inside.
    I have been on antidepressants for so many years and they only help so much.
    I sumtimes wonder where or what will happen to me as I feel old and Im single, I know
    one shud not depend on male but wen u live in society where everything is just rite in front of u wut do u do?
    i am tired too, sumtimes not living seems the easiest and its hard wen ur so alone and live in such a selfish world. just last week I was so fed up of things and was gna have emotional breakdown.Im tired of asking Allah to help me. I smoke too many cigarettes and put my health at risk becuz I feel very sad.
    Wud Allah forgive me if I were to take my life away?

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Remember that you are never alone. Allah is always with you, and you have millions of brothers and sisters around the world who accept you as our sister in Islam. You will come through this, inshaAllah.

      Depression is a crippling illness, and one which it is hard for people to understand unless they or someone they love has gone through it. But there are many people in the world who do understand - either through personal experience, or having a loved one go through similar pain. Try to remember that the feelings of despair and emptiness are due to your illness; they are symptoms of it the same way that someone with a physical illness can have physical symptoms. Don't end your life because of them.

      You're right that antidepressants only do so much. They can be a great help, and can be life-saving, but it's important to have other therapies and support as well - just like someone with a broken leg is helped by having a plaster cast, but will also need physiotherapy and practical help with daily tasks. When thinking about treatment for depression, it's important to think about:

      - psychological therapies (talking therapies) - depending on the type of therapy, these can work on empowering you to make practical changes in your life, helping you develop new coping strategies to deal with illness, exploring the underlying causes of depression and the underlying aspects of your psychology... There are many available, so even if one isn't right for you, that doesn't mean there isn't one for you - keep trying them and you should inshaAllah find one that helps.

      - peer support - it's important for everyone, regardless of the circumstances, to feel that they can talk with someone who understands where they are coming from - there may well be support groups in your area, and you are always welcome to post here as well (and if someone posts something unsupportive, let the editors know and we'll look into it).

      - social support - sometimes difficult issues in other aspects of our lives can make depression worse, and depression can make it harder to cope with the practical stuff like paying bills, going food shopping, etc. - there are support services available so speak with a specialist doctor or nurse and ask about how to access these in your area.

      - Islam - very very important! Allah is All-Knowing and Most Merciful - turn to Him in your darkest times and trust that He will guide you through. When I am feeling sad about something in my life, I find that it helps to think about surahs Al-Ikhlas, Al-Falaq and An-Nas - they help me keep trusting in Allah that He will protect me from things which would be harmful, and that what happens in this life is His will - by placing our trust in Him, we can trust that even though things are hard now, there will come a time when our struggles today will prove to have helped us grow in faith and strength.

      Let your doctor see how much this is hurting you, and inshaAllah they will act to help you get through this. Don't take your life - suicide is permanent, but the trials of this dunya will pass, as Allah wills.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor (and your sister - remember that your sisters around the world love you and keep you and all our sisters in our duas).

      • I dnt hve any patience tho, my interactions with ppl are becoming harder to deal with. I feel like anything that's said is takin so seriously, I've become
        So sensitive idk how to explain. For instance: if Sumone asks me which I find awfully rude y aren't u married yet, did u not find anyone in the US? (If it's Sumone I'm talking to as a friend frm paki) I feel so hurt and affected by this I curse myself, hate myself more for how my fate has turned out to be.
        Sum ppl have it all and sum just hve to be tested, and dnt even have supportive friends. I am tired of this and coming across ppl who say hurtful things and that make me cry. I turn to this site for support. Brothers and sisters I'm tired of telling myself that death is the only option.
        Plz help me

      • I would like to make a comment about the support that some of the people are receiving here.
        It seems to me that there is some "differentiation:" amongst the members and how they treat one another. Just becuz one person writes they are suicidal and going to kill themselves in words doesnt mean another persons situation is less important or severe. I have noticed that brother Issah and some other members here especially comment to others I dont knw if its a racial thing I certainly hope not.

        I am confused and it makes me angry becuz we are all muslims and supposed to help one another and be there for each other. Where should sumone go with just being given one peice of advice? I feel like all the doors are shutting down on me and my options are becoming limited. I feel sik, emotionally and mentally. I dnt want to end up taking my life away and hurting my parents becuz I know this they wont be able to bare. But I find that some of you ppl here are so rude and favor some members over others or Idk how to put it.

        Are welll all just muslim by name then? Wut good are u doing in our society by leaving those out that do need help and are fed up? shame on u. This is the reason y ppl commit suicide to becuz theres not much understanding ppl in this world.

        To you brother Issa: if your arab and Leyla is arab too, there should be no distinction of races wen it comes to helping or guiding sumone. Clearly u r being racist. In front of Allah we are EQUAL. Which is the reason y we all wear the same cloth wen we perform hajj or umrah, and all die the same way whether there rich, poor, arab, indian or pakistani.

        Im honestly disgusted by such behavior.. real gud example ur setting.

        • Noorkh76, As-salamu alaykum.

          I realize you are depressed and that can affect the way you see other people and their intentions. But your comments are wrong and uncalled for. Brother Issah is one of the best and most sincere people we have on here and there is no racism going on. We don't even know each other's races.

          You have published two posts on this website. One received 37 responses, and one received 39 responses. So for you to come now and claim you are being ignored, and to insult people and call them racists, is outrageous.

          SubhanAllah, some people, no matter how much you give them, they are never grateful.

          Because of your depression I'll give you a break this time. But if you keep it up you will be quickly banned from this website.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Assalamualeikum Brother Wael,

            I apologize for what was said and maybe there was a misunderstanding, but I think you should try to realize what the person is going through themselves as well.

            I agree with how I behaved and yes it was uncalled for but no persons situation should be "too important" or "less important."

            Which is why when a person is depressed or angry they should refrain from commenting or posting.

            If you remember me posting questions, then Im sure you have come across most of the comments I have made on this particular page wen no one really wanted to answer one specific member and was fed up with their negativity. Depression is definitely a debilitating and horrible illness. I myself am suffering but trying my best to get outta this and it is not easy. I have tried to give my support as well to those that are in this situation because I know exactly where they are coming from. So please look at both sides.

            Thanks for understanding.

        • I think you should recall the valuable support you got from brother Issah on 2013 I just read it and was very nice to you an advices you emotionally and carinngly like a big brother. Brother wael is right.

          • Asif,

            Thanks for justifying that but I think Brother Wael was enough to tell me this and I did go back and reread those comments that were made. 🙂 Maybe its best to be supportive during sumones hardship and give them positive encouragement which could help them through depression.

            N

        • Sister Noor, I don't know what to say, but I know that I wasn't being racist--in fact, there is no room for racism in my heart at all. Perhaps, you were expecting me to say something to you, but honestly I wanted to, but I realized that sister Midnightmoon has already given you the best advice, as she mentioned the four most important things that one should consider when thinking about treatment for depression (psychological therapies, peer support, social support, and Islam), and therefore I didn't have anything new to add to what she wrote, except to make only du'a for you my dear sister, because I felt that her advice for you is really useful and complete.

          • Brother Issa:

            I apologize for being so direct. I think when a person is depressed there mind just sees so much negative and its very difficult to come out of that. If you were in my place and posted something here where u felt like u just wanted to end your life and everyone is commenting on ur post, Im sure ud feel a bit lost too? I dont think its important for everyone to comment becuz practically speaking no one has that kind of time but then again there are some ppl that are definitely attention seeking.
            One thing that I always try to remind myself and always will is never to expect a lot.

            I am not a rude person, just wish life wud get easier for me and again Im sorry for being the way I was.

            Thanks for understanding.

    • May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala ease things for you, Sister. Ameen!

  6. Come on leyla grow up your a woman not a kid getting mad because your 4 pounds overweight because your poor because you get insulted that is nothing compared to how much prophet muhammad pbuh was insulted he was called majnoon madman insane he was bullied tortured at times.He starved more than you have yet he never had a suicidal thought nor he ever complained! not only him but his companions his followers them too.All the prophets were tested more then you are being tested.Read surah Ad-duha where the revelation to muhammad rasulullah was discontinued for sometime.This period is to have estimated to have lasted between 12 and 40 days for Muhammad pbuh this time was very difficult.He began to imagine that he might have committed a mistake and therefore, in some way deserve Allahs displeasure.Some of the kuffar began to taunt him for this.Allah then informed muhammad that had not abandoned him nor he was angry with him.As the day and the night are signs of Allah.

    • Abdul, how old do you think I am? And btw the prophet tried to kill himself three times.

      • What are you trying to say muhammad never tried to kill himself!!!

      • 1. This claim that the Prophet (sws) tried to kill himself is absolutely false. It is mentioned in Al-Bukhari not as a saheeh hadith but as an attribution to one of the tabi'een. Like a footnote, basically, but without substantiation. There is no Sahabi in the chain of narration. Because of this, and because it contradicts everything we know about Prophethood and about the Messenger of Allah himself, Shaykh Al-Albaani - the master of hadith scholarship - classified the statement as weak (Daeef) and rejected it.

        So anyone who makes such a claim should know that they are slandering the Prophet, and that there is no authentic proof to support it.

        2. Leyla, if you have a question to ask, please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.

        It's starting to feel like people are spamming this page, or using it improperly. If it keeps up I will close the page to comments.

        Wael
        IlsamicAnswers.com Editor

  7. As-salamu Alaykum, Leyla,

    May Allah ease your suffering. You mentioned having OCD. Someone close to me suffers from this illness, and I want to tell you that he is 90% better due to taking medication (his condition was absolutely horrible in the past). There is hope for recovery, but you need to visit a doctor. If it's hard for you to explain this to your family, ask a friend to take you instead, or go on your own. You won't know until you try.

  8. Dear people!
    I have been suffering from depression since 2009, however, I do not want to share too much on-line as I feel it's very personal and would like to ask some questions etc in private if possible please. I hope that I can hear from you soon insha-Allah.

    • As-salamu alayukum. We do not respond privately, I'm sorry. You can register and submit your question as a post anonymously, and change some of your personal details if you like so that no one will recognize you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  9. can you please answer my post anyone i have been waiting for days

  10. Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long as I provide credit and sources back to your site?
    My website is in the very same area of interest as yours and my
    users would definitely benefit from a lot of the information you provide here.
    Please let me know if this ok with you. Thanks
    a lot!

  11. thanks all even me i gave up life but if Allah loves us 70 times more than our parents then i should have hope

  12. Assalamualaikum..

    Hi.. After long time i did self introspection of mine and i come to know that i suffering from some pshychological prblm That i did some shamefull things but by guidance of Allah i didnt lose my virginityfor which i cant forgive myself If i remeber those things i wil feel like hell, and i ws actully addicted to Porn iam sorry,, now i refraining from it,. And i feel like even if i pray vry sincierly Allah will not accept my prayers, if i was not a muslim i wud have alrdy committes suicide, iam alive 2day only bcz of my religion,. Coz even if i die i have to face hell things in grave
    I have studied my religion, and i knw dis is the only reliogion which is scientificaly amd logically true,. But my
    Question is i did many sins and also i have not learned how to live life if someone is insulting me after sometime i
    Come to knw that he was insulting me,. And i facing insults and evrythig in my life only coz of my past sins,, and
    Also as saif before iam suffering from some pshychological disorder,. Please suggest me tq,. Assalamualaikum..

    • saif, please submit your question as a separate post, or search our website for the many posts already published on the subject of masturbation.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  13. Salaam,

    I feel very ill. Allah continues to test me abnd now I feel like I've failed myself miserably. I hve no hope in him, I'm tired of ppl telling me the same thing of not to give up, dnt feel depressed, do dua. I feel like I'm slowly dying from inside. I dnt even care about getting better I just feel like dying in peace would be the best option. I dnt want to ask anything because allah has continued to disappoint me and sometimes I wish I was nvr even born. Plz help me someone I feel miserable 🙁

    • Clearly you are going through a difficult time. Take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one moment at a time. Try to identify one little thing you can do to make your life better. Start with something very small. When you have accomplished it, choose another task. May Allah ease your spirit and allow you to see the blessings in your life.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  14. Salam wa alikumm,

    I really appreciate how this was put together, As a person who suffers with mental illness this was very comforting to hear.most people are very ignorant and tend to make you feel even worse by validating the distorted thoughts but this was very understanding and beautifully put. I will share this with my brothers and sisters who may be suffering. Thank you.

  15. Asslamu alikum, i read all points which u describe, how i can i live... i cant live. Pls pray for me... i cant see anything except sucide. I can belive only at My Dear ALLAH. But dis time i ve xero energy. No one can understand

  16. Last night I took 6 painkillers all at once as I am fed up with my life and there is no way out of this unwanted marriage I still live with my parents but will soon be married I wanna break it off but I don't want to lose my family, will allah swt forgive me as soon as I took them I felt bad and cried and asked God for forgiveness I made my self sick to get all the poison out of my stomach, I still feel bad will allah accept my repentance how can I ask for forgiveness with this case?

  17. I want to end up my life. How can I? Life is difficult. I cant survive it.

    • Sister i feel bad for you but like you said it is unwanted so you should not suffer for this reason,even if youbget married and you still think tat you are no happy then you have the rght to take divorce(which is very unpleasant) anyways stay strong and know the fact that marriage is not the end of the world itcan also bring blessing.

  18. I do know that suicide is haram but right im in a situation that i desperately need to die.I was always a positive person but due to facing failures in life it has made me a hopeless person i was given a chance by Allah but i did not use it wisely and i am regretting every moment of it.I also know that by living i wont make any difference in my so called life.I am a pious person and i believe alot in Allah but at the same time im stuck.in.a situation that has no cure.I know you would suggest me duas or tell me to stay positive but i cant.Now i have come across the decision that only death will give me sanity. Please reply this is urgent

    • mawa, there is no way for me to advise you without knowing the problem. What I can say is that suicide is certainly not the answer. Killing yourself will only open you to Allah's punishment in the aakhirah, and that is far worse than whatever you are experiencing right now.

      You say, "by living I won't make any difference." How do you know that? You don't know what the future holds. Maybe you are destined to save someone's life, maybe even in a subtle way that you do not realize. Maybe you are destined to have children, or accomplish something important.

      If you are pious as you claim, then trust in Allah. Allah says, "Allah does not burden a soul with more than it can bear."

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  19. Thankyou for your advice brother im trying to think positive.I have a few questions. will Allah forgive me even if i die by such death? I know it is a silly question but why is this haram? Will allah only judge a person by such a death and forget the good deeds?Also i know that Allah has the right to take a soul and not a human but isn't such a death written in persons life record?and he is all knowing.

    • Suicide is haraam because a person doesn't put his trust in Allah and ends his life without praying to Allah to make the situation better for him. U see, Allah repeatedly says in Quran to trust only Him and He will listen to you and bestow you with His mercy. Why is He telling this u again and again, because He wants to know which of His people will trust Him and pray to Him and which will get hopeless. Being hopeless from the mercy of Allah SubhanWa Taala is Kufr.

      Allah wants His people to be hopeful by trusting and praying to Him.

      secondly u asked about destiny. Listen, Allah has written the destiny which is His 'intelligent guess'. But He doesn't force that destiny on a person. He has given rights to human beings to choose between rights and wrongs. For example,this is written in your destiny that IF mawa will put her trust in Me (Allah), then I'll drag her out of her problems and I'll bless her with a happy life, because instead of being hopeless, she trusted in Me and prayed to me. BUT, IF mawa will not put her trust in Me and will get prey to Satan's saying then she will commit suicide and she will burn in hell in afterwards.

      You see, thats how it works. Right of choosing right or wrong path is all yours.
      Trust Him and you'll be able to face the circumstances under Allah's mercy. Don't trust Him, end your life and He will punish you and you will keep killing yourself forever and ever in a same way u killed yourself in the first place.

      Be wise. Do not let satan ruin your Akhirah. Satan has promised Allah to betray the mankind. Do not be among the Satan's companions.

      Have faith in Allah. Keep reciting "La ilaha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntum mina'zzalimeen".
      Start reading Quran. Make positive changes in your life.

      There is a perfect solution to your problem, start obeying Allah and leave the rest of your matters to Him. He'll manage everything for u, in the best way In shaa Allah.

      I hope this answers your question. May Allah bless u AMEEN.

      • Thankyou sanahelp i read it again and again.My family is always helping me to keep my spirits high.I have become like a zombie,all the lecture ends up in nothing.I feel like i have failed myself although i was never like this maybe my emaan has become weaker but i am trying to restore it.I do not blame allah for my situations.I blame myself constantly.The guilt is eating me up but i hope i come out of this emotional break down.Again im thankful for your beautiful response.May allah bless you.

        • Jazakillah.
          Pray for me as i also need prayers these days.

          and i would suggest u to read Quran. pray Tahajjud and cry ur heart out in front of Allah. He will surely listen to u and will bring u peace in shaa Allah:

  20. Please answer my question

  21. It seems no one wants to answer my question because i wanted to ask a few more questions.

    • Assalaamualaikam

      If you need advice for your particular situation, you're very welcome to submit a post for publication - the instructions can be found at the top of the page.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

  22. I give up on life.the guilt is killing me i deserve allah's wrath.i deserve to die...i tried really hard to keep myself positive but my life is hell...goodbye world forever and always..and please ask allah to forgive me.

    • So u r being hopeless. u r going to be with devil and not to be with Allah. u r choosing this wrath for urself. Allah will punish u for committing this grave sin. you will burn in hell fire. AND THE LIFE IN HEREAFTER WiLL NEVER END! u understand?? The pain in this life is temporary. and the next life is forever. u r going to ruin that permanent life for the sake of this temporary life???

      who said u deserve Allah's wrath? If u have repented sincerely for whatever wrong u have done, U R PURE AGAIN. its written in Quran. R u denying Allah's book? My dear repent and be pure. Its Allah's promise that HE will convert all ur sins into ur good deeds. So imagine ur ajar.ITS GREAT.

      For Allah's sake, DO NOT fall for what devil says. he is putting u in this state of hopelessness. U r doing kufer by denying Allah's mercy. This life is not urs, Its amanat from Allah. u have to take care of urself .

      Have patience, Pray to Allah. Cry infront of Him. Ask for His forgiveness sincerely and u r all done. now u r a pure clean soul. start ur life once again and keep doing rights things to make ur new life peaceful.

      Please dont do anything wrong.

  23. I understand everything you said im really struggling with life im only alive right now because i refrain from suicide because of Allah.I dont want to dissapoint him but i have lost the courage to fight with problems in life for some people my problems might be small but for me its like a mountain. I cant sleep at night,my heart is always heavy.,even during prayers i can't focus it does not give me the peace the way it used to,i can be normal at one minute and an emotionless person at another minute.I feel that life sometimes over burdens a person and the worst part is when you know it is because of you.you can always ask allah to forgive you but how can you forgive yourself? Human is an untamed beast i fail to understand myself,sometimes i feel i dont know myself it feels like i am under a spell or something.I used to believe alot in my hardwork and most importantly in my dear Allah.i know you might be thinking i am bluffing but whatever i say is what i truly feel and i also know that no one can truly solve anyone's problem.people can only advice you nothing more nothing less.

  24. I understand whatever you say. u know what? I am going through the same. I repeat the word SAME.I have wronged myself. I have ruined someone else' life too. Its all because of me. Now what should i do? should i die?should i attempt suicide? Will it solve the problems? will my death remove the pain from that person's life? NO. it will not.

    Trust me i was thinking the same. i myself thinking about suicide. but then Alhumdulilah i got closer to Quran, i started reading it, started understanding it and now i find myself at peace. I do behave like abnormals at times. same as u do. i cry a lot. I have physically become so weak because of my excessive crying. BUT the difference is that NOW i cry infront of Allah. I ask for His forgiveness. and it gives me peace for some time. and when i start feeling the same, its time for the next prayer and i cry again infront of Him. and so on..

    U said ur family is supporting u. Alhumdulilah thats another blessing u have got. but what are u doing to them? U are making them worried too.

    Try to think normally. Write down everything that has happened to u on a paper and then tear it apart. Why dont u make urslf busy?R u a student? why dont u start some new course or anything interesting? ITwill help too.

    Stop thinking about death. it is not the solution. it is the beginning of all the problems. you know why am i answering u again and again? because my dear sister i can understand ur pain. Please dont add into ur difficulties. THINK WISELY AND CHOOSE WISELY.

  25. You are right suicide is certainly not the answer.I think that when im sad i make everyone sad around me and if i die it will remain a permanent problem among my family.We humans are so selfish in our own worries that we never realize the after after effects.My problems are associated with education and career.No matter how many chances god gives me i blow it like a dynamite.I feel ashamed of mysef i cant focus on anything like i said.I worry what if i fail my expectations and my family's.Is suicide my solution? A few days ago i saw a picture of a corpse.I couldn't sleep at night and it reminded me of a memory when i was a kid, i saw a picture of a person who was punished in the grave i cried and all night asking allah to forgive me then my mother comforted me.
    Like i said my emman has become weaker thats why im losing everything in my life and im afraid that i will lose myself too in the most painful way ever.I know that i will be punished in hereafter...i know the consequences and i hope i come out of this hell hole..again thankyou sister for your response.I hope allah forgives us both and ease everything for us in this world and hereafter.Ameen

  26. I can't see any way out not anymore, i struggled with a life a lot the guilt has put my self esteem down....i can't see anything but suicide I'm always thinking of planning ways to die..the amount of lectures from family online or anywhere doesn't work anymore..i pray but i feel like a hypocrite still finding ways of killing myself..what should i do? where should i go? How can i stop the problems in my life,how can i keep myself positive?i know everyone has problems in life and one always finds solution but why am i in a stage where there is no hope at all.How can i save myself from the satan? He won't stop bothering me i feel like i have become a puppet with no feelings only desiring tovdie.i pray tahajud too so i can fibd peace,inread quran,i try to perform salah but am i only thinking negatively? Infact i wrote 4 suicidal notes but i rip them apart afterwards....i feel like i want to die by my own death and not by suicide because i don't want to go to hell..i pray to Allah that he takes away my soul i can't stop crying..im in such an emotional pain words cannot describe it..please somebody reply i ffel i can kill myself anytime

    • mawa, if the advice given on this page is not sufficient, then please register and submit your question as a separate post, and give us details about what the problem is exactly.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  27. Dear brothers and sisters,

    • As-salamu alaykum sister "hurtandconfused". I removed your comment because we get a lot of readers on this page in particular who are already in an emotionally fragile state, and I do not want to expose them to your extreme bitterness, negativity and self-pity.

      I'm sorry to hear that you lost your job. Insha'Allah you can find another one. You have posted the same thoughts and issues on this website for years. I don't know what we can say to you that we have not already said. I refer you back to your previously published posts:

      Hopeless, seeking dua for death - July 13, 2013

      Lost motivation to look forward because of my past - November 10, 2013

      You're not gaining sympathy from me by saying that you hate Allah. What I see instead is self-pity and ingratitude. My advice for you is to stop complaining and expecting others to do everything for you, and do something for yourself. Find a new job. Move out of your household if it's so suffocating. Create something in your life that has meaning.

      If you wish to submit your comments as a new post you may do so.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Ws,

        @Wael

        I'm sorry u felt there was extreme bitterness in what I had written but that was never my intention. Being in this state of mind you're hopeless, and it's very difficult for you to move forward. I think you need to be a little more compassionate and sensitive to someone's situation. It is not easy at all to do some of the things you've mentioned especially being unemployed. People do come here in hopes of some encouragement and support but that is definitely not the case here. Trust me no one wants to be like this but then I go back to saying some people are tested more and no there's no self pity. I truly believe until someone doesn't go through what you're going through it would be really hard to understand where there coming from.

        • I understand what you're saying. I'm fairly sure that I've been through harder times than you can guess. And I never said it was easy to get your feet under you. It's a lifelong struggle, actually. But you have to be willing to struggle. It won't help to give up, blame everyone else and insult Allah SWT, who puts the food on your table, the breath in your lungs, and who gave you the intelligence to write the very words you are writing.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Salaam everyone. It's been a long time since I posted. I just wanted to say I hope everyone is doing better, particularly noorkh786

          • Unfortunately she is not doing better. I suggested to her that she submit a new post.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Well we cant compare each others hardships becuz everyone struggles differently and like you said its a lifelong struggle that I am trying to remind myself.
            I will try to submit a post separately.

            Thanks.

  28. @Isa:

    Ws, thanks for the concern. I hope you're doing well. I haven't been feeling good lately and trying very hard to cope with it. Plz keep me in Duas. Thank you

    • Same goes for me,staying positive is not easy about a situation.However everyday is not the same you may never know that Allah might make it better if not today then tomorrow if not this month then the coming month if not this year then the coming year.Have faith over him.The shaitan wants you to feel hate towards Allah when situations are tough but it depends on us to love him and keep our emaan stronger and a true momin never gives up on Allah.We live in this world to fight like a warrior and especially good people are mostly tested.Whenever you are tested take it positive think Allah atleast tested you,he is testing you because he is watching you and he expects a greater response towards the test.I hope my advice helps you eventhough they are just words but take a moment and think how you can make your situation better and leave the rest to Allah inshallah you will find a way and also i will pray for you,there are thousands of muslim brothers and sisters that wants to see you happy. Salaam

      • @Mawa,

        Salaam sister,
        thank you so much for posting youre kind words. It is really nice to read this especially when one feels so hopeless and down. This is a constant reminder not only to me but to others that may feel like there "so tested" but its really not the end of the world. If I may ask what kind of difficulties are you experiencing.

  29. @noorkh786
    Glad you liked what i wrote ,life is never easy for anyone i would love to share my problems with other people but i find it very personal to share it online,however i end up sharing my feelings only which many people are experiencing right now.You have mentioned your problems and i hope Allah makes everything easy for you sometimes you have to wait for something,waiting is a part of a test and so is patience.so be patient Because Allah helps those who are calm towards a situation.
    enjoy the little things in life and be grateful the more you are grateful the more you are happy.It is hard to overcome the feelings of hopefulness it almost feels like a curse i am going through the same but those which survive through it are victorious in the eyes of God . Remember you are not here in this world to prove to others you are here because you are strong enough to be a human being and strong enough to handle the test and another blessing is that we have islam and we have Allah who loves us more then 70 mothers.Your mother can't see you in pain can she? So does Allah he tests you because he loves you and please do the same love yourself don't punish yourself for the situations in life and remember that worldly pleasures are not forever.jannah is forever and the things which you might not receive in this world are being stored for you in the other world.
    Anyways i wrote a long description but i hope this uplifts your spirit a bit.
    Salaam

    • Assalamualeikum Sister Mawa,

      Thanks again for the kind reply, very thoughtful of you. I almost forgot about this thread that I wrote on so Im glad that Im replying today.

      Yes, being hopeless does seem like a burden, curse, something heavy in youre heart. Ramadan is near and I dnt feel any motivation unfortunately. Part of it has to do with me going for my late 20's. I feel like its hit me that I cant believe Ill be 29 soon, where did my 20's go. I know they say age is just a number but also feel like it hurts me so much that majority of this time I spent alone and single. Being lonely is the worst feeling. It hurts to hear that others have found what there looking for, gotten married, engaged, and even have kids in there 20's and my life feels stuck. I dnt want to sound like im complaining but this is the hardest thing for me to thnk about or face. I know being single isnt the worst thing in the world but I wonder if Allah sees what were going through, how it hurts, a lot of ppl say this life is a test but what about those that feel stuck or havent gotten something. It almsot seems unfair to me that ppl that are also being tested seem to "get what they want" and then ppl like myself are told that youre better off in the hereafter. TO me that is a big test. seems like neverending one too. The ppl that dnt get it in this life also have a heart, feelings, and emotions. ITs quite hard to get past that.

      I hope youre doing okay and will keep you in duas.

      • Assalam alaikum Sr. Noorkh786,

        I think that we are supposed to hit a place of loneliness somewhere at the bottom of the pit where we find nothing or no one. I think that is the point. There in that place, we realize that we are so vulnerable and that our existence could be erased or carry on and in a way it seems like "who cares?" That is the moment we need to know that there is Allah swt. He made us out of nothing, but we are NOT nothing. It is shaitaan that wants us to feel that our existence, our pain, our feelings, our experience, our anything is not noticed by our Creator. But, that couldn't be. Allah swt is closer to you than your jugular vein--but in the place where you are, alone and defeated, you have to find it by believing it.

        Age is just a number. The people who are getting what they way could be getting what they want in this world, but so far from the remembrance of Allah swt. It could be that their "unfair" advantage is actually disadvantaging them.

        I know its hard and I know that depression really is difficult--it's real--but try to change one thought at a time and begin with looking at those less fortunate than you. Inn shaa Allah, you can feel motivation again by beginning with a little baby-step.

        May Allah swt help you, Ameen.

  30. My problems are very similar to Leyla. I also think better to die with a cleaner heart then to die in the future as a complete non believer. I just think my sins add on every single day so die now or die future, I am still bound for hell

    I used to be so religious. I don't know what happened. Now I have completely stop praying and do sinful acts like masturbation. I know religion and faith is the answer but i just can't muster the motivation anymore to start praying and being religious again. To think that I even need motivation to do a common sense thing and the right thing just makes me hate myself more. I hate for not being grateful to life and not being religious. Yet I am not doing anything to change it, and the viscous cycle continues.

    I think I am the most evil among everyone here Because everyone here wants to end their life because of too much hardship but me I want to end even though my life is really blessed and a lot of good surrounds me. I am just a ungrateful person, I cannot accept life's ups and downs. My existence is a sin because I am doing what I am doing knowingly and am not doing anything to change for the better. I am self destructive. Why...

    I know there are duas I know prayers I know everything yet I don't do...why. I cannot understand myself. I have been in counselling for years and was on anti depressants before and just everything I can think.of but i am still like this. So the problem is me not the world. I am just an Ungrateful sinful person... Why...

    It's sad that one needs motivation to do the right thing to return to Allah but that seems to be the case for me...and unfortunately I have no one here to be that motivator. I Have lost purpose. Die now or future u still die. It's time that we have but why work so hard go through life's ups only.to crash down badly then up again then down again and then all comes to and end. I just want to die and return to Allah where we all belong. I don't want this world I don't want it's good and blessings also coz they are not permanent I just Want Allah I want to go back to him I don't want this world filled with sorrow and me being more sinful with each day

    Sorry got the long post. Thank you for reading this far.

    • I truly understand how you feel. I feel the same, when God tests us, the only way we seek refuge is to have suicidal thoughts. We think death as an escape. We think we can return to Allah when we die in peace. Just imagine if we are being tested here woth life's up and downs...how are we suppose to face the ultimate pain?

      You are a muslim and you know that there is life after death. There is our grave, God forbid if we commit suicide how are we suppose to handle the further pain? If we can't endure this pain then how are we suppose to endure the most awful pain. There will be no one then...all alone, even Allah who we call God will leave us alone to face the punishment.

      So remember you have still time to turn to him. It's alright to have problems, i think of life as a test,as an illusion which is very powerful. This world was created for us . It was created because it's the stage where we face challenges and the end result is in the other world.

      And i know it is very hard to return back to Allah to once restore the courage to pray again because the effect of negativity is very strong but positivity is also present in us. It's npt easy to find true but you have to do jihad for that. You have to fight against the shaitan. You don't have to let him win. Always remember that Allah wants you. He is still waiting for you to repent. Return back to him, quit the sins. Each day tell yourself that you will change and your only enemy is satan and your only mission is to fight him off.
      Anyways i hope i have helped even in the smallest way because I'm going through the same. Telling others helps me too. It keeps me on the right track ^_^

  31. As-salamu alaykum,

    I am 16, and I feel so stuck.. My dad is munafiq (hypocrite), he was Ahmadi, then converted into a Muslim and became very religious. But, he has always abused my mother who is still Ahmadi. He still continues to abuse her in the most dreadful ways... He uses religion as an excuse to beat her and whatnot.. he emotionally and physically hurts her (doesn't let her go to Ahmadi mosque unless she drives his parents to the mosque with her). He emotionally hurts my bother (who is 10) and I, but not physically (although he threatens to). I've been dealing with severe depression lately, and it's giving me suicidal thoughts.. I can't call the police because he is our money source, and my mother, brother and I will be on the streets. I know suicide is not the answer, but his behavior is getting worse and I don't know what to do anymore. I am failing school, each year my grades get worse due to this.. I have no friends, so I have no one to talk to. Please, I need help.. I pray to Allah, and ask for forgiveness every night.. I know suicide is not the answer, but in my situation I am so lost and stuck..

  32. Hi Mawa,

    Sigh, i don't have a choice do i. I guess the minimum jihad i strive to do now is stay alive. Make my parents happy by continuing to work despite the stress, to be filial. At least i still eat halal food, no alcohol no smoking, and am still a virgin. But prayers are just so important and so i guess so guilty when i can't fight to do them. Sometimes i wonder if i am even fighting; maybe i am letting it happen on purpose, letting shaitan win intentionally...which makes me hate myself and the cycle starts. Sigh.

    And it's not like i haven't tried to seek help. I have for years but it just seems to go on a different direction of awfulness everytime. The comparison between me in the past and now is that in the past, i was blinded and suicidal. But now, i am enlightened but still suicidal. I see beauty everywhere and i know how freaking blessed i am, and yet i'm suicidal. So i cant help think i am the reason; i am self-sabotaging, and even that is not islamic because you are suppose to love yourself and the life you are given. But i can't feel that love, i can't find that gratitude. The idea of going to seek help again scares me so badly because that would mean going through that whole same gruel all over again and only to find myself back to square one 🙁

  33. Hi nadera,
    sorry for the late reply. As you said that it's the minimum jihad to stay alive but it's not minimum it's a jihad with alot of effort. You want to stay alive even though your life isn't going well and you think that by living you will continue to do dreadful sins. It's easy to say to someone to stop making sins or to change yourself but i know it isn't.

    You said you are blessed and yet you feel like that. Well humans are never satisfied with what they have. That's why God created the heaven to quenched our thirst but that's for deserving people. You can't love yourself then learn to love yourself for the blessings you have. Infact you should visit a place where there are disable or perhaps an orphanage. It will make you feel what life is actually. It's not about being blessed or anything. It's about the hardship and a struggle. It's a never ending fight. People who are blind or deaf, believe in God more even though they can't see the nature or listen to azaan. They have more strong faith. You know why? Because they accept the way they are and they cope with the problems.

    And about shaitan. He's miserable himself. He drowns humans in his misery because he needs us to rely on. It's true that we let him win because unlike him. We don't have the power if illusion but Allah has given us the mind to fight him off unless we are willing and also there is a saying 'an empty mind, is a devils workshop', which means always keep yourself busy whether it is about work or simply enjoying your hobbies. Plus when you stop praying. I know it isn't easy to go back to him again because one of the main reason is that you can't muster up the courage to stand before him because of the amount of guilt that weights your soul but Allah loves to forgive. As long as you are alive and aware of your sins. You are just a few steps away from his mercy. Don't feel embarrassed to bow before him and ask forgiveness for the sins you have committed. Just remember that the connection between you and him is better than any treasures in the universe. It is happiness and it is satisfaction.

    I wish i can stay always positive in a worst situation because sometimes it is better to have no sweat about anything at all lol. Just sit back and relax and barbecue satan.

    Anyways..i hope you read this. Even though I'm bad at helping people so yeah. Bye and peace sister.

    • Hi mawa,

      You chose to reply to me and thta's great enough for me.

      You know the irony; i am in the helping business. So i am surrounded by people whose lives are "shittier" than mine. I also thought volunteering and all will force the gratitude and drill it into my soul. But no.

      Maybe it is really the work of depression. But what if it's not; how can i be like this? How can i be so disgusting and ungrateful and still live with myself. No amount of counselling thus far has been able to answer my question. Then turn to allah right. But why am i not doing it? ya guess the guilt is really something...but that's stupid i mean if i am guilty then all the more i should turn to Him as not turning to Him is what causes the guilt in the first place? So simple yet so not simple also. I don't know...

      Maybe there is one thing. I kinda "lost" faith in asking for dua. Though i don't see that as a valid reason to stop praying altogether; there may be a link. Since prayers is also like asking for dua. I think my current thoughts now are that if Allah knows what's best and whatever happens to me is his will; then why bother asking for things? I rather let it be so that i don't get uncessarily disappointed when things don't go as i wanted them to. So i have stopped praying for myself. I do dua for my parents and stuff occassionally; but seeing how they are way more faithful then i am their own dua for themselves should have more value, and same logic if it were to happen to them it would; how would me asking change that if that is His will?

      • Nadera,

        i'm not a scholar or anything but i'll tell you with all the knowledge i have. firstly, as you said that you are suffering from depression. It seems you do. secondly, you told me about the development of 'guilt'. Humans create guilt due to a particular event in life. something that made you dissapointed because of yourself only God and you know why you feel guilty.

        The guilt creates self pity and hate towards oneself and you created so much hate that you have the ideology that praying for yourself will only make you dissapointed because either because of yourself or because you think that Allah doesnt loves you enough because you feel you're not worth of his mercy. Again the issue of guilt comes.

        I have the same problem. 'guilt'. You think that there is no point in going back to Allah but the only result will be that it will have bad effect on you not on him. remember Allah doesnt needs you. you need him.

        Instead of thinking about negative things. open your mind. start watching lectures by great scholars. listening to them will help you be at peace. you'll know more about islam and eventually you will find the proper path. whenever you feel burdened write your feelings on the page. After few days read it again. you will know where you are wrong.

        And it is true that by asking him not all your wishes come true because Allah knows your benefit for you. He is more knowing than mortals like us. Dont stop asking from him because it is your right. Have trust over him.

  34. Salaam dear brothers and sisters,

    Please help me. I'm stuck once again, I feel suicidal. I have already suffered from depression and now my depression has become this bug problem for me one week before my period begins and carries on to the middle of it. I have just started an increase in meds which doc said should work soon. Idk what to do with myself anymore. I have no one. My friends have either all got married, or just talk abt themselves. I feel like I've been cursed, or something like this. I used to feel very far frm religion and now with help of someone I started to come back. I am tired, my parents think I'm a burden, I'm manhus (I dnt know how to translate in English.) this rite now is probably the biggest test to me. I want to die but it's not easy. I feel like I'm trapped. I have become helpless. What should I ask God I dnt know that either. I wish someone could talk to me. Tell me that everything will be okay. Please help me. I dnt want to end up doing anything stupid.

    • Wa alaykum as-salam. I'm sorry to hear that you are not doing well. You mentioned at one time that you were getting counseling. Are you still doing that? If not then you need to continue. You might also need medication for depression. You should talk to your counselor about that.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • @Wael,

        Salaam,

        Thank you for the response. Yes I am getting counseled and also have had some medication changes. Im trying to make the most outta it, not always easy.

    • N,

      I'm sorry about how you are feeling right now but you should know one thing that everything will be alright. Have trust on Allah and you're not a manhus if you're not married, the only thing that makes a human manhus is that it is sinful. It's what society tags you as and you should never follow what other people have opinions about you.
      You should be happy that you're single because that's what God chose for you and when the time is right you will get married only on his command otherwise be satisfied with what you have and don't be hurt with what your parents say because you should not only judge them by their harsh reaction but in reality they truly love you and no child is a burden to their parents.

      Please take care of yourself, don't let anyone tell you that you are not worth of anything only because you are not married because there are many many things that makes a person beautiful and worthful and Allah always listens to you no matter what. Make him your only friend and support.You wil never feel lonely. You will see that he will give you better than what your expectations are.

      • Peace,

        Thank you for your thoughtful reply. It is very hard to keep telling urself that everything will be alrite especially when u suffer frm depression. Its not easy being alone, you feel lonely, sometimes having a friend is all that matters and thats how I feel.

        Youre absolutely right, parents can say stuff outta anger and in the end its them that actually help us the most. Sometimes I do feel a lot of injustice from God and I know there are certain things one may not understand at the moment. I dnt ask for much anymore nor do I expect which is so sad becuz most grls plan to meet this kind of guy, and have this kind of wedding whereas I have just accepted things. What is difficult is seeing ppl around you happy, having a living partner. The only thing that does help me is to keep myself busy or go through counseling and therapy. Meds too. I wish I wasnt this alone though. 🙁

        I used to be far awat frm religion but alhamdulillah with the help of a friend I am starting to come back towards it. Itll take some time and I hope I can have the strength to face this becuz at times I dnt even feel like living anymore, or have any desire too. Plz keep me in duas. Thank you again.

    • Everything will be ok 😉

  35. i am 23 years old...

  36. You say suicide is not allowed in Islam..... but what if I see suicide as a way of getting back to the place I came from..... getting back to God.?? ....where I will feel nothing but love and of being loved, respected just the way I am with all my flaws...and I am not made to constantly feel that I have to earn love.. a place where will be loved unconditionally, a place where I am not made to feel worthless.... and no-one can harm & abuse me or cause me mental, physical or emotional or spiritual pain or make me feel neglected, unvalued, not respected and worthless.... as my parents have done since childhood...
    ....surely Gods home is a place I want to hasten to....why would I want to delay going there .....?

    Islam tells me that I have to love & respect my parents and never say any bad word or raise my voice..no matter how they treat me....and this just adds to my feeling of guilt I already have for arguing back with my mother or raising my voice or using bad word in anger of being mis-treated...and that my mother constantly reminds me of how Islam says we have to respect our parents, especially mothers no matter what.
    She tells me I am a drama queen and completely negates my feeling....and tell me that my bad experience of her parenting childhood is me exaggerating and or I am mad...
    I am left with just simply feeling bad about my self and I know I have hurt my mother is this cycle of abuse...

    As a child for years I kept quiet and kept all the feelings in me...but even that did not work...I used to cry myself to sleep and wish for death...and sometimes used to trick myself at the young age of 10 that when I am older things will just magically be different..... I am now 43yr old and my mother still makes me feel that same way as I felt as a child....worthless and I sometimes I still cry myself to sleep.
    Since my father passed away 5 yrs ago I have developed a medical condition called fibromyalgia...which a chronic fatigue syndrome...but I think I am just exhausted with life and all these bad relationships and feelings....and finally my body just wants to shut down....

    I pray at end of each prayer ( salah) for my death....but death does not come...and I feel trapped when I read articles ...that Islam does not allow suicide...and it is a sin....and whilst this stops me as I do not want to displease Allah.. yet I feel trapped....and I often feel that I am not really living my life to my true potential and often the way my parents have mis-treated me over the years since childhood and they way my mother continues to do so makes me mistrust the world, other people, myself and at times God....sometimes I feel angry with God and then I feel bad a at feeling angry with God and other times I remind my self that God is challenging me and at other times I simply don't understand why God has put me in this situation....

    So tell me why I should not want to go back to Gods home where I feel secure and loved.....and free?

  37. I still can't find a job....

  38. I need a advice im really stressed out
    Im a married since 2012 but due to some reasons we are far away from each other since we gt married!! He's living another country and im here!!
    Whenever i had fought with my husband only bcz of one reason he have no time for me whenever I ask come back he's made up some new excuses and say NO
    It's not a unacceptable thing since I got married we are only live together for a week!!
    Since yet not met with each other
    He's always say I love you you mean world to me blah blah but his actions show me another story
    I love him soo much he's my first and last love
    I had fought with him two months ago on same thing has said I'll come but when time arrives he's mak another excuse and It was unbelievable for me bcz I count down months days and happy finally he's coming!!
    We had argued and he's start ignoring me I was heart broken cried for night but nothing helps I was decided to kill myself and thought might be he's come to see my face last time
    I cut my wrist deeply but unfortunately my mum saw me and take me hospital
    Well my mum rng him and asked him what happened why she's done this!!! So duno what conversation they both had!!
    Well hes stop calling me stop texting me and after an month passed he's text me and said
    ( I really don't kno what to say to you you changed everything it cause of ur actions now deal with it everyone says me it ur wife fault sorted her I'll tell you what I want to do next when I clear my head end off bye)
    Well after 2 week passed he's text me and say I don't want to talk on this anymore move on but I can't be same like I was b4 you hurt me deeply and told you one thing more I could come in next month but you messed it you have to be a normal wife and be patient might be you get your husband back!!
    Now when I call him he's ignoring he's read my messages but hardly do response im already heart broken he's put all blame on me and seems like its only my fault so I said sorry to him but nothing help
    I'm so helpless I don't want to leave him maybe one day he's realized my love my value im in hope
    Please tell me am I doing right? What should I've to do in this condition
    Im crying almost every night I have no life left just lying on my bed and thinking why he's not try to understand me how I'll be a better wife for him not eating probably sometimes im thinking if I dead are he's missed me or he's understand my love my pain what im though and almost making plan of suicide and at the end saying no to myself what abt my parents my family Allah will never forgive me and these things stops me but my mind can't handle all this anymore

  39. It's so terrible how many Muslims especially the young and woman and children that are getting influenced or brainwashed by other people that are terrorist. Using the religion to seed destruction on earth. I remember reading a book about our prophet before he died. That he saw events happing in the future, how many Muslims turned into terrorists killing other Muslims or other humans. And many more problems in society everywhere. Broken marriage, hate, etc. The human kind is now and day a bit lost. But hope is still there and good will always Winn from evil. We need to value and respect every living thing. And try to not cause problems by words or bad deeds. And less judging other people and look at yourself in the mirror what to do better in life for you and others. As long as you do good for yourself and others or stay away from problems then good things will happen. Plus don't let yourself be pushed by others to do bad things. Take time to think what you like to do. And not what others say to you what you should do.

  40. "Suicide is the way of some disbelievers who have nothing to turn to in this life, and nothing to look forward to in the aakhirah (the hereafter). They are people who have built their lives on foundations of empty consumerism, mounting debt, drugs and alchohol, and other things that have no substance and do not comfort the soul."

    This is the most insensitive thing I have ever heard. Only a person who has no clue whatsoever how it feels to go through the ordeal of mental illness could even utter something like this. You should be ashamed of yourself. Allah gave us all the ability to compassionate to believers and disbelievers alike, but you seem to have lost that ability. You have the nerve to reduce the suffering of another person, suffering you could not begin to comprehend, to debt, drugs and consumerism? I prefer the disbelievers who at least have the ability to empathize with other human beings to you and your advice.

    • Wow. I had a long and difficult day, then in the evening I taught a martial arts class that I mostly don't get paid for, but I do it because I enjoy it and I think I'm changing lives in some small way. Then I come home to a daughter who is upset and crying, and a mother who is stressed out. That's okay, I can handle that 🙂 I comfort my daughter, I sing to her and recite some Quran, I put her to bed, then I log on here to moderate comments, as I do multiple times every day. I don't get paid for this. I've done it for years because I believe we help people.

      And what do I find? Someone telling me that I should be ashamed, and that he prefers the disbelievers to me. SubhanAllah. Okay. I'm sorry you feel that way. If your intention was to hurt me, you succeeded. Congratulations.

      You say I have no clue and no empathy. Actually I too have experienced deep depression and suicidal thoughts. Even a believer can experience doubt, suffering, anxiety, fear, and depression. But the believer does not commit suicide. In those times of hardship, he turns to the only true source of comfort, which is his relationship with Allah.

      As for those who are mentally ill to the point of not being responsible for their actions, none of this applies, because in Islam they are not considered liable, and Allah does not punish them for their deeds. I addressed this extensively in the article.

      I wrote this article to help people, and judging from the comments it has helped at least some people. For example, one person who wrote:

      "I really appreciate how this was put together, As a person who suffers with mental illness this was very comforting to hear.most people are very ignorant and tend to make you feel even worse by validating the distorted thoughts but this was very understanding and beautifully put. I will share this with my brothers and sisters who may be suffering. Thank you."

      It looks like you ignored everything else I wrote, and looked for some basis on which to attack me.

      Nevertheless, I'm making some edits to clarify my intended meaning.

      So no, I am not ashamed, and I will keep on giving my time and effort, and doing my best. If I make mistakes I will try to improve, and may Allah accept my efforts and forgive my mistakes.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Wow, you have a hard life. I apologize for overreacting. You are right, I focused on the negatives, as your article was quite good aside from that one point. But please do read to yourself what you wrote about disbelievers resorting to suicide and why. How could you imply that it is because they are weak or care about about mundane things. That is quite simply a cruel thing to say about another person. I am not speaking of the extent of mental illness where the person goes insane. I am speaking of the delibitating, endless pit of depression where all things are mundane and there is no out, spiritual or medicinal. I always thought it was selfish of people to insist that others must continue to live through that kind of life, if it can be called a life, because of deen, family, responsibilities e.t.c. I think some suicidal people understand all of that, and if they still cannot bring themselves to keep on living, then who are you to call them weak. All of our sufferings are unique and it is not our place to belittle what others have gone through, whether they be believers or disbelievers.
        That should have been my original answer. I apologize again for causing hurt, I know apologies matter little after the fact but this is a topic close to my heart, so it was something of a knee jerk reflex. I'll think my words through next time. I hope I got my point across this time, and I hope your day gets better.

  41. Please help I want to commit suicide I have a jar of fivty panadol pills I feel like im going to take them if anything else happens

    • Ahmad, please read the article again carefully and think about it. If there is a suicide prevention hotline in your area, call it. Go to the masjid and pray. There is always a way out of any difficulty. Suicide is not the answer.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  42. Jazakallah khair for this.. I am battling from depression and suicidal thoughts from a year.. I haven't seen a physicist yet for my problem yet as my family thinks visiting a physicist will make them look shameful in the society and I won't get married in future because of this reason.. reading the article and comments made me feel better

  43. my mother committed suicide by burning herself, she was facing a lot of struggles and problems in her life ,my father left her 12 years back abandoned me ,my mom and my younger brother...my father left my mom and married our servant who used to do a lot of witch craft on my mom...now that on the 9th of february 2016 she (my mother) commited suicide please tell me what does the quran say according to islam will she be forgiven? how and what should i pray for her maqfirat?

    • It is up to Allah to punish your mom or forgive her. Just pray constantly to Allah to forgive her, protect her from the punishment of the grave, protect her from Jahannam, and make her among the people of Jannah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • INSHA ALLAH AAMEEN.... IN ALLAHA GAFURUR RAHIM.... SHUKRAN BROTHER I REQUEST ALL THOSE WHO READ ABOUT MY MOM TO PRAY FOR HER THAT MAY ALLAH FORGIVE HER AND GRANT HER JANNAT AAMEEN SUMMA AAMEEN.

  44. I have made a rational decision. im not emotional about it.

    • Isa, you didn't give any details about your life situation, but you should see a psychiatrist immediately. You may simply be clinically depressed. It's possible that medication could help you tremendously. I'm not saying that you don't have genuine life problems; but when one is healthy he can sometimes see solutions to his problems, whereas when he is depressed they seem insurmountable.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • No mate meds wont make a difference.

        im 29 and have been unemployed for years, living at home, bored, hate myself, cant find work, have social anxiety, feeling old, scared that i may live like this for a long time. can no longer relate to other muslims, feel like there is no place for me in the world, feel lost, life feels pointless, hate myself. feel let down by God above. my best mate left islam a few months ago and im still in shock about it. i dont feel human anymore. wanna die so badly, dont get on with my folks, wanna just kill myself. if i wasnt muslim i would have done so years ago

        • Some of those factors sound like things you can work on. You might try starting a blog that could eventually earn some income, or selling items on ebay, or other internet work. Or pursuing higher education online. Shaykh Bilal Philips offers a free online Islamic studies B.A. program.

          Also, if you haven't tried medication yet then don't discount it. It might help.

          When I was 27 I wasn't much better off than you. No job, no love, nothing going for me. But time changes things, especially if you make an effort.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Well what makes you think I've not made an effort? I have tried meds I've seen a counsellor and I have an eBay business which is struggling and going nowhere. And I've already been on a free Islamic studies course. I'm not meant to be here. My life is a mess and there is no hope. Everything I try turns to crap. So don't tell me it's all about effort. I'd be happy to get a job cleaning toilets but apparently I don't have the credentials to do even that. Gimme a break!
            I'm sick of everyone patronizing me.

          • I apologize for patronizing you. That wasn't my intention. But I disagree that you are not meant to be here, or that there is no hope. Allah put you here for a purpose. If you haven't yet learned what that is, be patient and keep trying.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.kcom Editor

  45. Past 6 years i have been suffering from a chronic mental illness and the medication isnt helping anymore....

    • As-salamu alaykum sister. Tell your doctor that the medication is not working anymore. He / she may be able to prescribe an alternative medication. If you do not wish to get married, then do not. Tell your family clearly that because of your illness, you are not prepared for marriage. Suicide is not an answer. There is always a way forward. Make dua' to Allah and keep striving as you have been doing.

      If you need further advice, please register and submit your question as a separate post.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  46. Thank God for helpers like you Brother Wael.

  47. Dear brother I am a married mother of two...

    • Umlina, my suggestion is to ask your husband (insist) to get a separate residence for you and your children. Even if it something very humble, at least you will be free of those stresses.

      If you need further advice please submit your question as a separate post, and we will publish it in turn, Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  48. Asalaamulaikum. ever since i was a child, there have been unkind people all around me that blame others for their problems. they are something on ones face and something else when you're alone with them. i am forever thankful to Allah for blessing me with a family, but i feel as if their love is conditional. of course, every parent loves and every parent cares. but i think they are not guiding me righteously. they flaunt to others, they brag, and they lie about their upbringings and how i am - and i know, and Allah knows the truth. i feel like a trophy child, brought into this world only to be flaunted for my intelligence, not my wisdom, not my experience. Ali(RA) once said: "experience is knowledge gained". and i agree. indeed suicide is forbidden, and love for ones parents and trust in them is crucial, and having hope and faith is important - sometimes i don't know how to explain to anyone about what is going on. i am scared. i am scared of my parents, of Allah, and what i can do to myself. i am scared of giving up.

  49. I am 39 years of age. I suffer with multiple health conditions. 2 of which are chronic conditions of the blood and quite life threatening if not treated properly. I recently reverted to Islam. Because of this my family no longer talk to me except for my father who claims to have accepted my religious choices. But I know in his heart he would like for me to return to Christianity. For the past month or so I have been suffering anxiety attacks because of all this, as well as the fact my housing situation is unstable and could become homeless m, and I could lose my job in September as they are closing down my department and I have had much sick leave so other departments refuse to employ me. In addition to this me and my father had a fight 7 months ago.

    I have daily suicidal thoughts. I struggle to take my medication properly. Although I meet most of my prayers and have only missed 3 of my fasts due to medical reasons.

    • As-salamu alaykum brother Abdul-Hakeem. First, congratulations on embracing Islam. Even though you have all these other problems going on, Islam is still a blessing. Give your family time to get used to this new reality. Eventually they will accept your choice, Insha'Allah. Try to find yourself a good therapist or counselor who you can see maybe once a week and talk about your problems. It really helps. It's amazing that you have been able to fast in spite of your medical problems. That's a real barakah and shows your strength. Suicidal thoughts are normal when we go through very difficult times. Resist those thoughts and keep on your path. I can't promise you that all will come up roses, but keep putting one foot in front of the next, and do your best. May Allah bless you and protect you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • AOA

      May ALLAH bless you, He is All Knowing and All Hearing and All Loving. I am so happy that you have reverted, it has put a great smile on my face, you are blessed. Brother Hakeem you are an inspiration, a reminder, your post made me realize this, I am currently unemployed myself, but i am patient and i pray everyday to ALLAH that whatever i go through, though i may like or dislike it, Oh ALLAH may it be the right thing for me.
      Brother Hakeem be steadfast 'verily after hardship there is ease'- Quran 94:5.
      Almighty can hear your every breath and he would want you to push harder.
      After reading your story i pray for you.

  50. My life is too destroyed.there is nothing that can be done.my step mother who is from Benin happened to be a witch together with her children possessed me right from childhood n used me to do alot of bad things.i sought for help from all angles but to no avail.their witchcraft is so powerful.finally I had an accident n damaged my left eye.so am partially blind now.even before that life was terrible now it has been worse.i no longer see any reason live again.wherever I go am rejected.even so called pious Muslims reject me.i hv lost all appetite for life.pray for Allah to accept my soul.all efforts even to get help to operate my left eye has proved futile, for 4 yrs now.i hv sought help wherever.even from rich Muslims.all they say is we will pray for u.it is a mistake came in this world.I wish I was not born.Abdul Aziz.

  51. ASSALAM ALAIKUM , IAM ASKING A QUISTION ABOUT SUICIDE IF SOME GOES TO SUICIDE DEATH HAS ITS TIME ENDS IN SAME.OR ITS ONLY REASON OF A DEATH OR ITS FOR FROM HIS NATURAL DEATH COMING FROM ALLAH'S SIDE BOTH ARE SIMILAR OR WHAT/ SORRY I MEAN WHEN HE ATTEMPED SUICIDE AND GOT DEATH FROM HIS OWN .BUT THIS IS SAME DEATH OF HIS NASEEB OR HIS TAQDEER THAT HE GOT AGE FROM ALLAH . SUICIDE AGE AND HIS AGE GOT FROM TAQDEER BOTH ARE SAME?

    • I don't know the answer to your question as I do not completely understand it. But the important thing to know is that suicide is haram and a sin; so your question is irrelevant.

  52. I came back to this website after an year, I went through all my posts here and I realized one thing...

    life only gets better, the situation I was back then was awful. I was blind to the future, I shed a few tears while reading the posts here mine and including others. Suicide is an excuse, a limitation to a good future, to a better end. Sometimes Allah tests us. we fall in a deep pit but it is not the end, a story does not ends unless an ending is given to it. we keep on adding chapters, suicide is not a good ending a sad ending to anybody's life.

    To the people who are reading this right now I just want to tell them take it easy, don't be too hard over yourself, the situation you are in right now is temporary. If you are weak be strong, Allah is near, he's always near. Reach to him and he will reach to you.

    Also I want to thank the admin of this page wael and the other users for responding to me in my hard times. Keep up the good work admin, May Allah bless you for motivating people to live life and spreading Islam

  53. I had enough with my life I dont no wts going on evry situstn going against me my husbnd dsnt trust me I love him more than my life but nw I had enough f all I dont want to live this life plz suggst

  54. Dear muskaan
    Dear sister please believe me I've been there and I've felt the lowest I had ever felt in my life.... Love is a choice if you really love your husband...you need to improve things first by doing what he likes... Give him what he loves and earn his trust...remember this might take time...you have to be patient and let the trust grow slowly...he will eventually realise your honesty and commitment and he'll give in too... Don't give up... Love and trust cannot be achieved overnight.... It will take time.... Step by step... Remember your in a phase it'll pass and you'll calm down IN SHAA ALLAH after that work on your marriage slowly... See what you both enjoy find common grounds and build you trust IN SHAA ALLAH

  55. Dear brother remember suicide is haram and regardless of what your feeling if you opt suicide then indeed that's a mighty sin as Allah has strictly forbidden suicide...now I know how you can feel so low that you think about killing yourself.... I've been the lowest in my life where there was no way out in my mind... Brother the moment we are born our test starts till we die... Please tell yourself it's a test and don't give up... Try reading quraan with translation.... Read in the language you know what Allah is saying to you and us all.... Keep making dua and keep trying... It'll take time remember.... Also for your education career you can talk to your gp that youre feeling anxious and symptoms like stomach pain and dry mouth are typical panic attacks symptoms as I get them too but they're not harmful but can be very annoying so don't let that control you... For this you can consult gp and request a sit down with a psychiatrist or psychologist.. They will help you to stay positive and look at things differently and calm your nerves.. Once you feel like your getting better slowly work on your studies work life etc... Remember it'll work best if you help yourself along with ppl who can help you and above all ask for help from Almighty as he knows us more than we know ourselves.. He is always there for us never doubt that for a second...may Allah make you strong and solve all your problems Ameen

  56. Salam
    Please forgive me for what I am going to talk about. I have suffered for a very long time from addiction to haram adult movies. I know it is haram but despite all my effort, I can't beat it. It has completely destroyed my life, and I can see that the doors of rizq are shutting down before me (stuck in a miserable job, sometime jobless, and application for job where I do 100% fit the role gets rejected). I can see the hate of people when they look at me, even though they don't know me. I am in a stage where I am serioulsy contemplating suicide. I often have thoughts of throwing myself before a running train, because I have lost hope to beat my addiction and I feel like I have achieved nothing in life. I have stopped praying 10 years ago and despite repeated attempts, I never managed to get back to prayer again (I pray a while then stop).Could you please advise? thanks

    • As-salamu alaykum. Rather than Sinner, I will call you Repenter. First, we have published many posts on this website about pornography and how to beat the porn habit, so please search our archives. One of the simplest things you can do is to get rid of your technology (presumably this is how you access the porn). Use a basic phone rather than a smartphone, get rid of your tablet computer, and if you must have a standard computer for work then put anti-porn controls on it so that you cannot access it. Also, stay busy. Stay around other people, so that you don't have too much time alone.

      With that said, turn to Allah. If you don't have the willpower to resume your salat, just talk to Allah. Ask Him sincerely, and He will answer. There is a way out of every problem. There is always a way forward.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Dear brother (sinner) we all are sinners may Allah forgive us all and bless us with jannah Ameen.... I know life gets very tough as I speak from experience but trust me it gets better... If your feeling you've reached rock bottom try speaking to a psychologist or psychiatrist they will help you with dealing with guilt and help you find ways to stop your addiction and get your confidence back that's one point secondly slowly start making dua from the bottom of your heart to Allah Subhana wa ta'ala.... He knows us more than we know ourselves... He knows our weaknesses and is the most forgiving... Slowly move away from your addiction and try healthy activities which you enjoy.... Any kind of sports you enjoy with friends or on your own....try doing charity work and slowly start bringing yourself closer to Allah....read QURAAN with translation you'll see Allah speaking to you directly through the verses... It's a reall eye opener.... IN SHAA ALLAH you'll do just fine brother...... May Allah protect you brother and get you out of this state and bring happiness content and peace to you forever Ameen

  57. Help me plz give me advise
    I've had depression for 9months I've been holding on for so long only my Friends know people always blame me
    Embarrass me
    And at school I am known as the good child so whenever I make a small mistake people start gasping and say oh my god breaking news shireen just made a mistake let's tell everybody and whenever someone gets higher marks than me they say wish everyone look I beat shireen woohoo let's throw a party
    Everyone then starts looking at me at home I'm always jolly but on the inside I just feel sadness at school one day I started crying and scratching my hands because I had enough I was always ignored but my entire class started calming me down my parents don't even know about this I always feel heartbroken upset and useless
    WHAT DO I DO help plz

  58. Shireen remember everyone goes through hardships... It may not seem like it but this life is a test for each one of us and not just you... Alhamdulillah you seem like a bright student with a bright future IN SHAA ALLAH... focus on important things like your studies and enjoy yourself.. Anyone around you tries to bring you down ignore them with a smile and move on... You are better than them trust me and make dua Allah will make everything easier for you... May Allah make everything easier for you Ameen

  59. Jazakalah ur words bring me such happiness alhamdulilah Allah has given us people like u
    I will act alone what u say and may Allah let us all pass this test and grant us jannah Karen 😉

  60. Hi. First off, I wanted to say that this article has really improved my life when it was at it's worst, and it continues to do so, so thank you for writing this. But I still have a lingering question in my mind that I feel like hasn't been addressed properly. If it is as you say, that Allah does not place more burden on a person than they could bear, then what of those unfortunate souls that take their own life even though they have no mental illness? Would that not imply that their burden was so great that they felt that ending their own life was easier?

    • Ali Tariq, many times people face a challenge, and they actually have the capability of overcoming the challenge if they try, but they fail because they give up. Allah did not burden those people more than they could bear. Instead, for whatever reason, they gave up.

      Was it easier for them to end their lives? Probably. But that is exactly why they failed. To succeed in life is not easy. It takes hard work, perseverance, patience, and trust in Allah. We can't expect it to be easy, and we can't give up even when it's painful and hard.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  61. Brother taking ones life is not allowed as a life as precious as it is, we don't own it.. ALLAH is the owner of everything... When Allah says you'll be not burdened more than you can take means we'll l be tested to our limits and thus what we decide to do either good or bad is in our hands and in this case suicide is the worst decision which can destroy our afterlife.....

  62. Dear sister/brother

    I have a friend who is a non muslim and is very close to me. He as been suffering from a lot and has attempted to kill himself but failed. My friend has also fallen in love with me but I rejected him and stayed with him to keep him accompanied until I find another person for him. How do I explain to him that death will lead him to nothing and how should solve this and leave him in good hands?

    • He needs to see a professional counselor or therapist who can help him learn to deal with his problems. By being in a relationship with him you are only committing a sin yourself, and not really helping him.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  63. and also I have a friend who is a 13 year old muslim and she has the thought of suicide. how should I help because you may not know but I am 14 and I want to help her and sort out these problems before it starts to get the better of me because I have a child's mind that I don't know what I have done until after wards but please give me advice for my 13 year old friend with suicidal thoughts.

  64. Salam may Allah help you and your thirteen year old friend Ameen... Stresses are a part of everyone's life but everyone deals with it differently.... But suicidal thoughts are something very serious and it'll harm only the person committing it so please your friend needs to see a gp then a psychiatrist as soon as...

    • but i dont know how because her mother does not know about it and she might be lying but she has hurt herself so what should I do?

  65. Talk to an adult either her parents or yours who can take her to see a professional and make dua

  66. Assalamualaikum May Allah protect us from all this thing. Ameen

  67. Ameen., heartbroken,totally shattered and certainly suicidal - lost daughter , màsoom and suddenly sick for 9 days and at age only 14 true and convincing way of assistances .JazakALLAH. may ALLAH grant my marhooma daughter, TASNEEM HASSIM NOOR AND FRAGRANCE OF JANNAH IN HER SPACIOUS AND EXPANDED QABAR,MAY ALLAH GRANT HER SHAHEED STATUS AND JANNATUL FIRDOUS, AMEEN, INSHA ALLAH AMEEN. PLEASE READ ESALE SAWAAB FOR TASNEEM AND MAKE DUAA FOR HER AND IF YOU CAN PLEASE ASK ALL PPL YOU KNOW TO DO THE SAME, AMEEN. MUCH APPRECIATED, MAY ALLAH REWARD YOU ALL ABUNDANTLY, JAZAKALLAH ..... REQUEST BY FATHER AND MOTHER OF TASNEEM HASSIM . ASSALAAMU ALAYKUM WA RAHMATULLAHI WA BARAKAATUHU.

  68. Dear sis may Allah grant your daughter Jannah and indeed she died at a masoom age... Which means IN SHAA ALLAH her afterlife will be much much easier and she will IN SHAA ALLAH enter paradise and be there forever.... May Allah bless you with sabar and make this hardship way for your success in afterlife too.. Hold on tight to your Iman... IN SHAA ALLAH if you sabar here one day IN SHAA ALLAH you will be with your daughter in heaven and be there forever...

  69. If a person who is a victim of black magic commits suicide under the influence of magic, will he be punished?

    • People are punished only for what is under their control. But I do not believe any form of magic can make someone commit suicide. We have control over our own actions.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • As Salaamu Alaykum

      I too never heared of a Magic who let one commit suicide.I have heared about that People go ill and like that,but if it was possible than of course the answer would be no,that the magician would receive the punishment,but like i says i dont think this is even possible.

  70. Dear brother I can understand your pain as I too had and still have my fair share of hardships.... Dear brother trust me we are stronger than the pain we are going through although it might seems we're not.... Subhanallah you understand the truth of why we are in this life you just need to be a bit stronger.....dont think negative of Almighty.... He has a plan for everything and you know that... We need to abide by his rules no matter what and this life is not meaningless.... Make dua and you will see your life and your situation getting better... If you ask for forgiveness and whole heartedly make dua Allah will bless you in this life and after... Thankyou for sharing brother and I pray your issues become easier for you.. Remember it will take time be patient... We all are going through struggles brother and we are here also to remind each other of Allah's help and mercy... Indeed Allah is the most merciful the most forgiving.... Might I suggest reading Quran with translation it will open your mind and make it easy for you to believe the truth and be patient.... Jaza ka Allah khair

  71. Thank u sir a lot fr ur timely guidance....

  72. I am a new convert. I have not busted the mosque yet. For fear of being judged and labeled as I have no one to stand with me. I had family over. A cousin who is 27 years my senior. I awoke after taking some medication to him touching me. I ran and grabbed a knife and in defense I stabbed him. I was imaged. I trusted him into my home as he has no other place to stay. I was arrested as well as he. I was told to keep my mouth shut. Not to tell the truth. Every night I cry myself to sleep. I pray but feel so alone and betrayed by my family. The truth was caught on a baby camera. Yet my family say I cannot tell or I will face jail. I feel silenced and dead inside. Angry and lost. I know it is not the way but I cannot stop the thoughts. I want to die. I have seeds from a previous marriage who are my reason. I don't know what to do. Please help me.

    • Mona, as-salamu alaykum. I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. Maybe you should consult with a lawyer and make your own decision about whether to report the incident to the police. If it was captured on camera and it was in self-defense, I don't see why you would be arrested. Regardless of whether you do that or not, you need to see a therapist who can help you work through your feelings of anger and depression. May Allah aid you and comfort you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  73. if some one comited suside for you..
    the reason behind suside is just a misunderstanding... Can you please tell me what we have to do in such conditions... is this forgiveable???please tell me..

  74. Salam, I have just started my teens, and to be honest I have been thinking of suicide since 10,my parents love me and I know that but sometimes they do things which make me really sad my mother and father often curse, abuse and insult me, my parents do not belive me and have also insulted me in family gatherings, and hit me in front of my cousins, and I do believe that they were upset with me without it ever bieng my fault in fact they do all this due to my own actions- their attitude has made me rebelious and disrespectful all because the way they teach me about wrong and right is insane, I cry myself to sleep everyday,I have previously done self harm and am strongly looking forward to suicide, in fact I have told this to them during fights in fact threatened them telling them that i will kill my self but they never take it seriously, they are always scolding me, shouting and yelling at me for not achieving their desired academic results etc,everyone at school also hates me and my family thinks that im the worst daughter and today was working day, I was supposed to be at school but due a fight I did not go,its not all their fault when my mom slapped and cursed me thrice for being disrespectful to her in front of three people I got enraged and started to break things and yelled at her for being responsible for today's destruction which im now guilty for and when my father gets to know he is probably going to hit me, I love them but they never gave me the general amount of respect everyone deserves and I am someone who loves everybody if they understand me but unfortunately my parents failed to understand me and my, mother and I never had an emotional connection, I have cried through all alone,in between I realised that suicide is haram but due to all the previous issues emerging again, I am considering suicide again, I know that it is harm and ill be punished for commiting such a sin but my heart is shattered and I see no point in living, I have also read material to make my self realise that im doing the wrong thing but nothing helps I also feel worthless, unimportant, extemely depressed and not loved or supported thus I might end it soon all I want is love and affection and a little bit of understanding but nobody understands maybe because im am actually a bad person, with unfrogiveble sins(which i did in the past)in fact I never even pray Salah but I do believe in Allah,please help me!

Leave a Response