Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Never Lose Hope


By Muhammad Waseem, Editor

All Praises are for Allah and Peace and Blessings upon the Messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, his family and his companions. Allah, The Exalted said:

"And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient,

"Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return."

Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided."
(Surah al Baqarah, 155-157)

He said in another place in the Qur'an:

"Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said,"When is the help of Allah?" Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near."
(Surah al Baqarah, 214)

These aayaat make it clear that everyone will be tried and none will enter the Jannah, just like that. When we are faced with trials, it is necessary that we have patience and believe in the Qadr of Allah, that whatever is happening is due to what Allah Has Decreed; and indeed, Allah's Help is near.Everyone will be tried, even the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was, but the level of trial differs according to the level of eemaan of the servant.

According to a hadith: Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas Radiyallahu Anh said: I said: “O Messenger of Allaah, which of the people are most severely tested?” He said: “The Prophets, then the next best and the next best. A man will be tested in accordance with his level of religious commitment. If his religious commitment is strong, he will be tested more severely, and if his religious commitment is weak, he will be tested in accordance with his religious commitment. Calamity will keep befalling a person until he walks on the earth with no sin on him.” (Sahih, Tirmidhi) After reading the above aayaat, one must never think that they will not be able to face the trials or that they don't have the capacity to come out with success. No! That is not correct. Allah says:

"Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned."
(Surah al Baqarah, 286)

Losing hope is something that Shaitan instigates in us, which leads us away from Allah. We must know that despair and losing hope in Allah are among major sins. On the authority of Ibn Abbas Radiyallahu Anh: that a man said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah! What are the major sins?’ He Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: ‘Shirk with Allaah, giving up hope of Allaah’s mercy and despairing from the mercy of Allaah. (Saheeh, Silsilatul Ahaadeeth as Saheehah)

Patience is a gift from Allah; when a calamity strikes, we must have patience in the first instance instead of breaking down. According to a hadith: The Prophet (peace be upon him) passed by a woman who was weeping beside a grave. He told her to fear Allah and be patient. She said to him, “Go away, for you have not been afflicted with a calamity like mine.” And she did not recognize him. Then she was informed that he was the Prophet. So she went to the house of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and there she did not find any guard. Then she said to him, “I did not recognize you.” He said, “Verily, the patience is at the first stroke of a calamity.” (Sahih al Bukhari)

When one has patience, things seem easy for them. In many places in the Qur'an, Allah Has Commended His servants to have patience and Has Reminded us a number of times that He Is With those who have patience and He Loves those who have patience. And when we are tried, we must learn to say what Allah and His Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam taught us. Allah Said:

"Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return."
(Surah al Baqarah, 156)

Allah never wrongs anyone, nor He Intends oppression on anyone. He Is The Most Merciful and Loves us more than our mothers would and He Cares about us, more than we ourselves would.

I read a quote attributed to Imam ibn Qayyim Rahimahullah and have no reference for it. I loved it and you will love it as well. According to it, he said: “Had Allah lifted the veil for His slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than His own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of du'a. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know that verily Allah does not forget it.” 

Indeed, Allah Is The Most Merciful and He Cares for us more than we ourselves or anyone else would. I won't be transgressing by saying that He cares for us more than the entire world put together. After all, His Mercy is a hundred parts and He sent one part to this earth. And due to this one part of Mercy, an animal also cares for its child. Ninety nine parts of His Mercy are reserved for the Hereafter.

If one part of His Mercy is enough for all His Creation to care for each other, then imagine how Merciful He is; it is impossible to imagine such Mercy. Allah Encourages us to Hope From Him and never lose Hope in Him. The people who have committed excessive sins and have now realized their mistake, He Says to them:

"Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."
(Surah az Zumar, 53)

Allah Encourages us to Hope From Him and never lose Hope in Him. The people who have committed excessive sins and have now realized their mistake, He Says to them:

"And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided."
(Surah al Baqarah, 186)

"And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein."
(Surah Qaaf, 16)

Note that Allah did not ask His Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam to tell His Servants that He Is Near. He told this to us directly. He Said that when His servant asks concerning Him, He is near. In the second aayah, Allah Says that He Knows His servants and what they think, He Is Indeed nearer to us than anything else, than our own selves.

So, do not lose hope, O servant of Allah! You will never be wronged and you will not face what you cannot bear. Certainly, if you face a calamity, you have the capacity to bear it. So, have patience and know that the end will be good, in sha Allah.

Whether you have patience or you show impatience, the result will always be what Allah Has Decreed. So, there is no use of impatience whatsoever; have patience and feel tranquil. Never lose your Hope in Allah, He Loves you and will never wrong you. He does not oppress anyone, nor does He charge a soul with more than what it can bear.

Hope for the best in the Aakhirah and trust in Allah. If you can't trust in Him, then your trust in anyone else is in vain and will never benefit you. The truth is that no one can do anything for you, until Allah wills so; so ask of Him like a man afflicted with poverty, having nothing to eat or drink and Hope that He Will Give.

Also remember that He May not Give you what you exactly ask for. He Accepts every sincere du'a and Gives what is best for His servant; indeed, He Knows Best, what is good for us and what is not. If giving what is exactly asked is better for us, He Gives it. If it is not, then He Gives something alternative or He Averts a calamity from us. If not this, He Preserves the du'a for the Aakhirah to Reward us in the Hereafter.

This is the Mercy and Wisdom of our Lord, The Most Merciful. Do not lose Hope in Him and keep asking from Him. Abstain from sins and stop eating haraam, these stop du'as from being answered. Follow His Command and the Sunnah of His Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, so that you remain on the straight path and be of those who are successful.

وآخر دعوانا أن الحمد لله رب العالمين وصلي الله وسلم على مجمد وعلى آله وأصحابه وأزواجه ومن تبعهم بإحسان إلى يوم الدين

53 Responses »

  1. ...

    [Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

    • Salam aleykoum
      I am a 23 years old lady. And I got married to a man of 6 years older than me. I use to love him and I paid Allah to send me a man with Islam and good behavior.we got married 5 month ago. And the problem starts.

      He is this type of person who is able to see thing that anyone can see with a sort a djinnsmall. So everyday, he is accusing me of saying lies, of betraying him and of Zina with men that I have never see in my whole life.

      I paid to Allah for help and spend most of my night crying. I have ask myself what have I so wrong ? I ask Allah for forgiveness and I want him to bring the truth and help me . From time to time,I feel like he is not answering my calls or not hearing me, I am suffering and I regret this marriage and want to put an end to it. Please help me .

    • Where abouts?

  2. لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا الْإِنسَانَ فِي كَبَدٍ
    Al-Balad [90:4]
    Verily we have created humans into toil and struggle.

  3. salama alaikum May Allah guides us amin. jazakallahu khairan.

  4. we should not underistimate the mercy of ALLAH he will never leave us if we hold on to him.

  5. Salaam,

    How do you tell yourself to have hope when you have been disappointed so much. It is very difficult.
    You feel lke you have nothing else to look forward to.

    • You have to find other things to look forward to. Make a list of things you want to accomplish and then work toward them. Move on from the other things that you wanted - they were not in your destiny. Create a new story for yourself.

    • Start to find love for yourself. Protect yourself with love and mercy.

      When I find it difficult to look forward, I remind myself of those living with no roof over their head, sleeping in cold winters outside without basic necessecities. I don't know if this helps everyone, but it does help me. Sometimes if you can find a way to volunteer or make small care packages for those in need (like a small ziploc bag with soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, sore throat lozenges, gum etc) like those living on the street - it can give you purpose and perspective.

      May Allah ease your pain, Ameen.

  6. Assalam o alaikum

    I have a question regarding prayers. What if a person keeps on praying for something and things didn't work out. Obviously, it's quite natural that person becomes hopeless at times and starts complaining in front of others about why prayers were not accepted. But still, even after complaints, he starts praying again hoping for a miracle to happen and wishes to be granted?? Is it right to again start praying for what you once complained about?

    • If your dua isn't answered in this world then it is being saved for the day of resurrection where you will need it the most. One of the major reasons duas are not answered is because a person becomes hopeless and stops asking Allah. You should ask a billion times, even though it may not be answered in this world.

  7. i am really feeling contented by reading ur this post i also did lot of prayers for my admission in medical college....but i dont get ...Allah is the Merciful..

  8. i am in love with boy from pakistsan we both meet each other but confused to marry due to fearence of his brother so i have made istikhara and i hope that this is working right way or not so please help me waiting for your answer

    • Since you have prayed Istikhara, make the best choice you can and trust Allah to guide you to what is better.

      Wael Editor

  9. Assalamu alaikum some body says when the leaves fall from the tree it because of allag is it true

  10. Assalamu alaikkum i am 22 year old my parent try to arrange my engagement but i don't want to marry but my parents would already saw many alliances in last 2 years so really don't want to suffer them more so i accept the engagement for my parents.after engagement i felt that i can't marry this person so i forced my parents to cancel it then they again start to find another allaince i hate marriage i really not to trust any one .exept allah but my whole family hated me no one care's me i ask allah many times to solve my problem but norhing would happen so i decided to die i have no idea what can i do when will allah help me only after my death.

  11. salams brothers and sisters i am going through a very difficult time.

    • rabia4khan, I deleted the remainder of your comment. Please register and submit your question as a separate post and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.

      Wael Editor

  12. I love him and i want to marry him but he dont want to marry me now he said his morther will not accep me now beacause he still young
    What can i do to make him agree to marry me

  13. I wanted to ask a few question.It is written in the article that if someone losses hope in Allah he is destined to be a failure,someone told me that not everything is written in destiny everything depends on us except a few things like marraige,birth and death..then where did career go? Is it not written in one's destiny?also from birth till now every event in life whether good or bad was written? Or is it like two paths like e.g if i had done this then this would have happened or was it suppose to be the other way around.I feel i have took some wrong decisions in life and if i had a time machine i would go back and fix everything.

    • Everything isn't written , Allah has given you free will, and good or bad consequences are the result of your actions. Furthermore about your question pertaining to career, Allah is the provider for all rizq

      Allah Most High says, “God is the Provider, the Lord of Power, the Ever Mighty.” [53.58

  14. Salam

    Iv failed my driving test a few times. And just been feeling so down as it takes so much time and money and frustrates me at times. Please can i request for everyrone to make dua that i pass soon in sha Allah. I dont want to lose hope in my Lord he does wat is best for us.

    May seem selfish as driving test is nothing compared to what others are going through in the world may Allah forgive us all and make us successful in this life and hereafter Ameen x

  15. I a revert r 4 years now n. Feel.stuck lot Scarry apen. This year plz mak. Dua take away My fears

  16. i want to die so any one plz post me some dua to ask mauth cause i m uncontrollable of sexual thoughts i think messenger of allah might have teached some duas to ask mauth

    • There are many posts on the subject, search the archives. If you still need help submit your question as a separate post and it will be answered in turn.

    • Dear borntoachieve, why do u want to die? Are you a male or female? Im male looking for a lifetime partner who is religious n fears Allah swt. My number is ***. Pls contact me inshaAllah, i look forward to hearing from you and hope u are in good health.

  17. Verse:

    -Allah will not change the condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves (Ar-Ra'd, 13:11)


    This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

    There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

    Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

    Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.

    Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

    It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

  18. ma shaa Allah awesome post keep it up In Shaa Allah never to lose hope

  19. Good guiding site

  20. May Allah reward you for this helpful website

  21. I have been engulfed in a major sin for the past 2 years and it has torn me apart. It felt like I had no one by my side, especially since my friends(nearly everyone my age) feels like it is not as bad as it seems. Moreover I'm too shy to share it to anyone apart from them.
    I was nevet able to stop and felt like I was completely vacuumed out of hope until I came across this article.
    Indeed, Allah is the almighty and the MERCIFUL. This has been and will be the inspiration for my life.
    Please brothers and sisters, pray for my well-being and pray that my efforts bear fruit. I willpay back for you.
    Hopefully I'll be able to use my youth productively.

  22. jazakallah khair for increasing iman and patient . I am affected to a trial and suffering that seems unbearable but I am innocent and just charged with hooribale crime that I never even try to imagine only for the reason because I want to be a father and in kids life . This is very tuff time but I hope when I look back in this post I will say allhumdolilah allah has helped me ...
    Please do duwa for all the innocent people who fell in trapped ... specially me

  23. Please reply me...i don't know where to start but i'm really depressed...i'm in the depths of despair....i don't know what to matter what i do my prayers aren't answered...i don't know where to start...but...since my child hood life was like a father is such a nasty person...he used to abuse n our mother mentally n physically...n he had made our life miserable...i didn't even had a proper childhood bcuz we were never loved n our father was always cruel to us...he is such a use less person...he sits all the day in his room n do no work..our mother worked for us...he took all her salary away..he only supported us financially but he never even cared for us...but despite of all these hardships...i believed in Allah that one day every thing would be fine...but then i was diagnosed with pcos,this was none less then a night mare for me...i love babies but bcuz of thus disease my fertility could be affected...n it affects also one's apperence one bcoms obese n all such things..i don't want apperence to be ruined...i ve always been called beautiful by everyone but now i'm so tensed..what if it affects my apperence...i had only one thing left in life my appearence...what if it also gets ruined..i would die...n what if i had no babies in future...plz help me....i just want to die...i can't take this anymore...i pray to Lord every single day..every single moment but still no use...i feel Like Allah hates ine loves me...but i don't want to lose my Faith in Allah...but i feel like i'm losing...i'm so much depressed...plz whoever read it...reply to me as soon as possible...i really need some to drag me out of my despair n bring me to life back..plz help me...n i'm very lonely no one loves me even my mother does not..she loves me but not as much as my other siblings...n bcuz of lonely i ve committed some sins..but i never want to commit any bigger sin...but i feel my lonely n despair is pushing me towards it...For Allah's sake plz help me n pray for me...please

    • Assalaamualaikam

      I'm sorry to hear of the difficulties you've endured - may Allah ease your burdens and reward you for your patience.

      It's natural to think of the worst case scenarios when diagnosed with an illness, but PCOS doesn't necessarily cause everyone to experience the things you fear. Someone with PCOS may be more likely to gain weight, but if they're careful about their diet and exercise then there's a good chance they won't gain much weight, and if they do gain weight then they're more likely to be able to lose it. Through looking after your health and maintaining a healthy weight, you're less likely to encounter the problems with appearance and fertility that can occur in PCOS.

      Please read the answers already given to the post as you may well find helpful advice there, inshAllah.

      Midnightmoon editor

      • I've no symptoms still...the only symptom i ve is that my periods are a bit irregular...but i m afraid what if other symptoms starts...i would really die...i don't want my face or other physical appearence to get ruined....i m so sad...i think about it all the day n night....the worst part is onr of my frnds..has this disease n no matter how much medication she take she's not getting well...i m feared what if that happenz to me...i dn't want to have excess body hair or to gain weight....what should i do...i pray a lot to Allah...but my prayers r never answered...

    • asak sister,well,so sorry for your situation,i have been there too,though not the father part.But please understand,PCOS is very much controllable.i had similar thoughts,but coming from an affected patient and a doctor, all i will say is be patient,simply exercise.even 5% loss in weight relieves u from lots of its symptoms n then ther are medications too.Alhumdullilah,i m a mother of two kids now.but i wish someone had told me all this when i was in your stage.Be happy and believe that Allah will INSHA ALLAH help you out.

      • Does every one with pcos get excess body hair n gain weight ?

        • I have PCOS too sister. No you wont get excess body hair initially if you control your diet and excersice regularly. Dont eat sweets and junk food. Especially dont eat WHITE FLOUR. Its veryy bad for PCOS. Ive just been excersice regularly and Alhumdulilah its under control. And yeah dont even take any birth control pills , it just worsen the case because there will be side effects. So just do these 2 things- Diet and Excersice and InshAllah Allah will help you.

    • Fatimah,

      I'm sorry for the trouble you have had to deal with in your life. You seem to be a strong person and I admire you for that. I just want to tell you, don't forget, that Allah tests those who he cares for greatly and he has truly been testing you hard so know that you are in the grace of Allah. That is truly something special. Don't let an illness get you down. You're strong, you're smart, you're beautiful. You will get through this through the power of Allah. Have faith, continue asking for Allahs help and support. Remember, even when you think Allah is not listening or "ignoring" you. That is never the case. I use to try to convince myself of the same think until I snapped out of it and realized, that was just Allah testing my patience. To see if i would breakdown and give up on him. That's the whispers of the shaitan. Don't let him get the best of you, hamdiallah you are alive and you are aware that Allah exists. Just identifying with the fact that Allah exists is a blessing because then Allah recognizes you always. Allah is with the believers and non believers alike, but I remember reading, when someone specifically prays for Allahs help and guidance, it's like a beaming light that can be seen from the heavens because Allah appreciates those who seek him more than those who do not.

      Also, your fear of your physical appearance is irrelevant. Your beauty comes from within you, from your soul. This body you are given is borrowed. From Allah we came and to Allah we will return. One day inshallah, you will find a great man to care for you, in reward for the trouble you have gone through with your father. You must keep faith in Allah, don't ever feel like you need to die, this life is a blessing and although it is a mirage, you should still be thankful for living it.

      You are in a tough situation, I will not dispute that. But always remind yourself. There is someone out there doing even worse than you and they don't have anyone to turn to. You have Allah.

      Bless you all and I will pray for everyone's health and happiness as I hope you do for me! Ameen

      • I also wanted to mention this to you also found on this site.

        Abu Hurairah also reports that Allah’s Messenger, peace be upon him, said: “For every misfortune, illness, anxiety, grief, or hurt that afflicts a Muslim, even the hurt caused by the pricking of a thorn – Allah removes some of his sins.”

  24. I am currently working in a job I don't like. My dream is to become an auditor and I am doing everything I can to become one but as usual, nothing. I prayed a lot and I am giving myself till May 2017. If I don't find a job as an auditor then I honestly quit praying for one. It's just not meant to be. I'll just stick to my current job and pray i stay and my health stays.

    My philosophy is "If you tried you best and prayed for God and nothing is happening for a long time then just focus your energy on something else. God did not destiny it for you. Period. Focus on something else and when the time is right Allah MIGHT answer your prayer.

    • Majd,

      Keep your faith in Allah and your prayers will be answered. Remember, Allah works in mysterious ways, and especially when you feel like he doesn't care that's when he is most engulfed in your life. Allah is there for you even when you feel like he is not. Allah is there for you when you don't want him around. I know it's hard to keep the faith and be hopeful, I too am struggling with mortality but I keep reminding myself, this life is simply a mirage. Stick to your belief and it's the next life that your true dreams come true.

      I too am ambitious but I tell myself, if Allah wants it to happen, if Allah decrees it, it will be.

      One thing that should continue to resonate in all our minds is, we must continue to pray and seek guidance in Allah because even if you think your prayers are not being answered in this life, then Allah is saving them for the next one and that's the true reward.

      Alhamdiallah for everything, I will keep you all in my prayers and hope you can do the same for me!

  25. 1. Just want to know if Allah loves me 70 times more than a mother why does he have to test me thru trials n tribulations... I am a mother n i wud never like to put my kids in misery, unless ofcourse punish them so they wont repeat their mistakes. I cn tjo gv them a tough time so they cn b stronger in case Allah gvs them a tougher life, God forbid. But Allah knows our future, He created it, why the grinding n grinding... Wn does it end?
    2. Allah swt says in the Quran that u wil b tested by ur wives n children, aren't women tested by their husbands? Why doesn't Quran gv importance to the misery a man gives to his wife by mentioning it in Quran? Is the Quran only addrssed to men only? For a woman in a Pakistani society, shez crushed if her husband is not loyal or she seeks divorce. There r no second chances. Then why such a test is not gvn importance enuf to b mentioned in the Quran? Plzz guide

    • As-salamu alaykum sister.

      1. This world is not Jannah. It is a place of difficulties and test for every single human being. That is the nature of this life. It is a testing ground and a place of struggle. But within that struggle there are also times of happiness, love and peace for those who are patient and grateful.

      2. In such ayat in the Quran as you are mentioning, the word for "spouse" is azwaaj, which is gender neutral and applies to both men and women. - for example, 64:14: "O you who believe! Among your spouses and children there may be enemies for you, so beware of them. Yet, if you pardon, forbear, and forgive, then God is All-Forgiving, All-Compassionate." The ayah does not literally mean that the spouse is an enemy, but the spouse can be a distraction from the worship of Allah. However one's attitude should be forbearance and forgiveness.

      The point is that the ayah refers to "spouses" not wives specifically. The Quran is addressed equally to men and women and is mostly gender neutral or gender inclusive.

      If you need further advice please register and submit your question as a separate post, thank you.

      Wael Editor

  26. Assalmu alaikum
    I am a hindu girl. I love one muslim guy since 4 yrs and I confessed my love with that person but he said we can't marry because last year he got engaged with someone. I don't know what's hapening to me I just can't move on because still I am thinking he will come back because he is made for me. Many times I feel that he will come back soon. Why ?

  27. Thanks brother

  28. Even me am havin almost the same problem but on my side am always praying late in the night to Allah He hasn't answered me but am sure He is going to answer me and when ever am losing hope am reminding myself of those who have been patient more so the beloved Prophet (PBUH) and am ever gaining the hope and patience and Insha Allah let me hope that it will help you too just try to read the Quran and you clearly understand the Ayats surely you will be among those who will be patient ever because me ever my friends some times they are making lose hope in that what I want but when ever they do so I just say to myself they ain't Allah the most knower and seer May Allah help you out.

Leave a Response