Islamic marriage advice and family advice

The Sin of Adultery and Fornication – Part 2

The Sin of Fornication and Adultery Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Why is adultery/fornication so attractive?

 

attraction sin

This little moth is drawn towards the light. The light is a flame, and will not benefit him in the slightest, it will infact burn him!

 Shaytan committed a sin through disobeying Allah with his arrogance; he thought he was better than Adam so he refused to obey Allah's command that he bow to Adam. Hence, he incurred Allah's Wrath. Instead of becoming humble, admitting his sin to Allah and seeking His (swt) repentance, he became even more stubborn, shameful, arrogant and revengeful. He blamed his misguidance on Allah and then asked Allah to delay his punishment so he could lead us astray. This is how he vowed to do so; shaytan said: "I will surely sit and wait for them (referring to humans) on your straight path, then I will come at them, from in front of them and behind them, from their right and from their left...'. (Quran Surah al-A'raf, Ayahs 11-18)

So do you see, it is Shaytan's goal to lead us astray. He knows that fulfilling one's sexual desires is a basic human need, and he also knows it is a sin to fulfil this need with anyone but our spouse, so he fuels our desire in order to blind us and make us fall.  It is reported that some of the Prophets said to Iblis, "By what did you defeat the son of Adam?" He said, "At the time of anger and at the time of desire".

Allah warns us in the Quran (Surah Ibrahim, Ayah 22) by telling us that Shaytan has vowed to entice us and will then turn his back on us when we are held to account on the Day of Judgement by saying: "...Verily, Allah promised you a promise of truth. And I too promised you, but I betrayed you. I had no authority over you except that I called you, so you responded to me. So blame me not, but blame yourselves. I cannot help you, nor can you help me. I deny your former act in associating me (Shaytan) as a partner with Allah (by obeying me in the life of the world). Verily, there is a painful torment for the Zalimoon (polytheists and wrong-doers, etc.)."

So, I ask dear brothers and sisters - why oh why are we intent on pleasing Shaytan when he is out to deceive, destroy and betray us? Do we hold such little self importance that we will lower ourselves to something that will damage us so greatly?

The million dollar question: How can we prevent ourselves from giving into our base desires?

1] Seek protection with Allah from Shaytan, through verbal recitation and establishing prayer:

Allah says in Surah An-A'raf: 201: "Indeed those who fear Allah when an impulse touches then from Shaytan, they remember Him at once and they have insight."

Allah further says in Surah Fussilat, Verse 36: "And if it comes to you from Shaytan an evil suggestion, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed He is the All Hearing, All Knowing". So say: "I seek refuge with Allah from Shaytan the accursed."

Strengthen your relationship with Allah, through establishing your obligatory acts of worship, five Salaah, Fasting in Ramadan, giving Zakah etc. Allah advises us in Surah Al-Ankabut, Verse 45, to establish Salaah as doing so will protect us from immorality: "Recite, [O Muhammad], what has been revealed to you of the Book and establish prayer. Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do".

2] Remember Allah is watching you:

Next time you have an urge to go into a closed off area to commit your sin, remind yourself of this hadith stated by the Prophet (saw) regarding 'Ihsan' (true righteousness):  "[Ihsan is] to worship Allah as though you see Him, and if you cannot see Him, then indeed He sees you." (Al-Bukhari and Al-Muslim).

Would you feel embarrassed on doing such shameful disgusting deeds if you knew that Allah was watching? Well Allah is watching you and can see and hear your every sinful thought and sinful action. Allah warns us in Surah 43, Verse 80,  "Or do they think that We hear not their secrets and their private counsels?  Indeed (We do), and Our messengers are beside them to record".

3] Do not belittle the sin, remember the enormity of it:

Remind yourself again and again that anything that leads to a sin is a sin itself: looking, flirting, sweet talking, touching, hugging, intimacy. Do not belittle these seemingly smaller sins: all of them are sins, leading to bigger sins and will cause grief, destruction and doom.

The Prophet (saw) said to Aisha (ra), "O 'Aishah, abstain from the sins which are looked upon as trivial, for they too will be enquired about by Allah."  (Ahmad)

Also another saying, "Beware of minor sins, for they will gather together on man so much so that they will kill him."  (Ahmad)

Furthermore, if you try to console yourself by thinking, 'Oh well, a bit of flirting, hugging, kissing etc is not actually the real act of zina, so it won't hurt to do them', then you are doing nothing but creating a false sense of security for yourself and living in delusion! As remember Allah warns us against coming anywhere near to zina as they lead to the evil way! "And come not near to the  unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Fahishah [i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)], and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him)." (Surah Al-Isra,Verse 32)

Some scholars say that the 'other' haraam physical intimacies of the relationship are in fact classified as 'zina'. In a hadeeth narrated by Muslim, the Prophet (saw) warns us: "The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the ears is listening, the zina of the tongue is speaking, the zina of the hand is touching and the zina of the foot is walking. The heart wishes and and longs and the private part confirms that or denies it."  Ibn Battaal (ra) also said: "Looking and speaking are called zina because they invite one to true zina. He then said: "the private part confirms that or denies it."

4] Remember you are a disbeliever at the time of committing adultery!

The Prophet (saw) said: "No adulterer is a believer at the time when he is committing adultery." Narrated by Al-Bukhaari (2475) and Muslim (57).

He (saw) also said: "If a man commits zina, faith comes out of him and hovers over him like a cloud, then when he stops, faith returns to him." Narrated by Abu Dawood (4960) and al-Tirmidhi (2625); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

So you are in a state of disbelief when committing adultery! Furthermore, the acts leading to it have also been labelled as zina in the above hadiths, so even during committing those 'other' acts, your iman is in a state of doubt. That leads on to the next frightening point, what if....

5] Imagine, 'what if' your soul is taken while you are in that state of disbelief?!

Allah warns us in the Quran (Surah As-Sajdah, Verse 11): "...The Angel of Death, who is set over you, will take your souls, then you shall be brought to your Lord".

There are angels who torture the wrongdoers at the time of death: "If only you could see, when the angels take the souls of those who disbelieve, the angels are beating their faces and their backs." (Qur'an Surah Al-Kahf, Verse 50)

6] Think of what the grave consequence of your sins could be:

You will have displeased Allah greatly, thereby losing out on multiple blessings during your life on earth.  You may have to face shame and dishonour. You may lose close friends. Upon realising your sin, you will feel pain, shame, grief, depression; you will experience negativity, loneliness and bitterness. You may have to live with knowing you broke someone’s marriage, thereby incurring the curse of the ex wife, or you may catch a sexually transmitted disease. And these are just some of the worldly consequences. The pain in the Hereafter to come will be incomparable to anything you could ever imagine.

7] Warn yourselves, there is no hiding; the angels are recording our every action, word and thought:

Allah Most High also tells us, "For each (person) there are angels in succession in front of him and behind him, who guard him by Allah's command."  (Qur'an, Surah Ar-Ra'd, Verse 11).

"And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein when the two receivers [i.e. recording angels] receive [record each word and deed] seated on the right and on the left.  He does not utter any word except that with him is an observer prepared [to record]. (Qur'an, Surah Qaf, Verses 16-18)

"And indeed, [appointed] over you are keepers (angels who preserve the deeds of men in records) noble and recording, they know whatever you do." (Qur'an, Surah Al-Infitaar, Verses 10-12)

8] Warn yourselves, that on the Day of Judgement, all our sins will be laid bare for all to see:

"Every person is held responsible for his [or her] deeds. On the Day of Resurrection We shall bring out for him a scroll which he will see spread open. (He will be ordered): Read your own record; It is sufficient that you judge yourself today." (Surah Bani Israel 17:13-14)

We will feel embarrasment and shame comparable to none we have ever felt on earth. Imagine our family and friends seeing all the sins we have committed, imagine them seeing the zina that has been indulged in, all the sins of our bare flesh, every evil taken on by every limb, every look, every thought.  It will be as though our personal autobiographies have been caught on film from puberty till this day with our intentions displayed on a high definition cinema screen.

What are you thinking? Is your body not shivering with fear at the thought? I am sure it is and yet you have no idea how much you will be exposed on that day, unless Allah accepts your repentance through His Immense Mercy. If you are not shivering with fear, then my dear brother/sister, you are most definitely suffering from a spiritual disease of the heart and need help. (There is a cure though: turn back to Allah).

9] Fear the Sirat, The Bridge on the Day of Judgement:

The Messenger of Allah(sws) said about the bridge: "So the hooks over that bridge will be like the thorns of As-Sa-dan except that their greatness in size is only known to Allah. These hooks will snatch the people according to their deeds. Some people will be ruined because of their evil deeds, and some will be cut into pieces and fall down in Hell, but will be saved afterwards, when Allah has finished the judgments among His slaves, and intends to take out of the Fire whoever He wishes to take out from among those who used to testify that none had the right to be worshipped but Allah.” (Sahi Bukhari- Volume 8, Book 76, Number 577)

Also: Narrated by Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri: "We, the companions of the Prophet said, "O Allah's Apostle! What is the bridge?' He said, "It is a slippery (bridge) on which there are clamps and (Hooks like) a thorny seed that is wide at one side and narrow at the other and has thorns with bent ends. Such a thorny seed is found in Najd and is called As-Sa'dan. Some of the believers will cross the bridge as quickly as the wink of an eye, some others as quick as lightning, a strong wind, fast horses or she-camels. So some will be safe without any harm; some will be safe after receiving some scratches, and some will fall down into Hell. The last person will cross by being dragged over the bridge." (Sahih Bukhari- Volume 9, Book 93, Number 532)

If thats not bad enough, what if apart from wronging yourself, you have wronged someone else through your sin, and have not sincerely sought their forgiveness or they have not forgiven you? You will have to face them on the bridge in the Hereafter, as one of the questions we will be asked when crossing this bridge will be about the rights of humans, the rights of parents, and whether one took care of one’s relatives. So what if you used someone sexually and dumped her/him, what if you destroyed someone's marriage, what about his/her ex? Have you sought their forgiveness?

10] Remember that in the court of Allah Most High we will not only receive our books with our deeds present but our bodily organs will also testify against us on that Day:

Allah says in Surah An-Nur, Verse 24: "On the Day when their tongues, their hands, and their legs or feet will bear witness against them as to what they used to do".

"Till, when they reach it (Hell-fire), their hearing (ears) and their eyes, and their skins will testify against them as to what they used to do.  And they will say to their skins, "Why do you testify against us?" They will say: "Allah has caused us to speak, as He causes all things to speak, and He created you the first time, and to Him you are made to return". And you have not been hiding against yourselves, lest your ears, and your eyes, and your skins testify against you, but you thought that Allah knew not much of what you were doing. And that thought of yours which you thought about your Lord, has brought you to destruction, and you have become (this Day) of those utterly lost!" (Qur'an, Surah Fussilat, Verse 20-23)

11] Remember the punishments that await those who have committed these sins:

The Prophet (saw) warned: "If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with a piece of iron it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman whom it is not permissible for him to touch." (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami, 5045).

This refers to the punishment for just touching, so how about worse deeds, such as embracing and kissing, and even worse kinds of illicit activity? Shudder at the thought!

Punishments liable for the one who confesses or is proven guilty of committing zina: The first revelation concerning the punishment of zina was that a woman guilty of zina was to be confined to her home until she died: "And those of your women who commit illegal sexual intercourse, take the evidence of four witnesses from amongst you against them; and if they testify, confine them (i.e. women) to houses until death comes to them or Allah ordains for them some (other) way". (An-Nisaa, Verse: 15).

The next ayah says: "And the two persons (man and woman) among you who commit illegal sexual intercourse, punish them both". (An-Nisaa, Verse16).

Allah (s.w.t) then revealed in Surah An-Nur, Verse 2 (which is known to be an abrogation of Ayah 15 in Surah an-Nisa): "The woman and the man guilty of illegal sexual intercourse, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment."

The Messenger of Allah (sws) clarified this injunction by saying: "Take from me; Allah has made a decree for them.  A virgin (committing zina) with a virgin: one hundred lashes (for each) and exiling for one year (for the man).  And a married (committing zina) with a married: one hundred lashes and stoning."(Saheeh Bukhari)

What are you thinking? That you can take the lashing? Just a few whips and that is? Wake up Oh Muslim, the shame and the pain would be unbearable! And the stoning would be the end of you!

All that is just a drop in the ocean, compared to the punishments for the sinner in the next life: The Prophet (sws) has told us of the punishment that those who commit zina will receive in their graves before the Hour begins, and that they will be punished with fire; narrated by al-Bukhaari (1320).

Allah Most High says in Surah Al-Furqan, Verses 68-69: "And those who invoke not any other ilah (god) along with Allah, nor kill such life as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse - and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace".

12] Lower our gaze and cover our adornment in front of non-mahrams:

Allah advises us in Surah An-Nur, Verse 30-31: Verse 30: "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do."

Verse 31: "And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful".

The Prophet (saw) said, "...do not let a second look follow the first. The first look is allowed to you but not the second." [Ahmad, Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhi]. What this means is that the first look is by accident. If this happens then do not take a second look.

The Prophet (saw) also said that, "the eyes also commit adultery by looking at someone with lust." [Bukhari]

13] Do not make our voices seductive or sweet in front of non-Mahrams:

This is done by lowering the voice and not flirting. As Allah tells the wives of Prophet Muhammad (saw) in Surah Al-Ahzab, Verse 32: "...do not be pleasant of speech, lest one in whose heart there is a disease should feel desire for you..."

14] Do not ever be alone with a non-mahram:

The Prophet (saw) forbade men and women from being alone together.  He (saw) said: "Never is a man alone with a woman except that Satan is the third party with them".

This refers to unnecessary talking via email, text and phone aswell.

15] Have faith in Allah that He will help us:

This is one of the most important points, but I purposely left it till the end as I wanted to remind you that the Prophet(saw) said 'tie your camel first then put your trust in Allah'. Meaning, make the effort to implement the practical advice Allah has given you through the Quran and Sunnah, then have faith that He(swt) will help you through.  So do not think to yourself: 'I'll just go watch a movie with my boyfriend Sami one more time, I can control myself, nothing will happen, I'm strong enough,' and then expect nothing to happen - because you know it will and you'll have no-one to blame but 'yourself'. So do the right thing and avoid being alone with Sami in the first place and then make dua for Allah to make you strong to be steadfast in this.

***

Click on the following links to read parts 1 and 3:

The Sin of Fornication and Adultery Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

82 Responses »

  1. assalam o alaikum

    sir main kafi dno sy ek problem face kar rha hun................. plzzzzzzz solve my problem

    (Question deleted by Editor)

    • Abdul Sami, Walaykumsalaam,

      Please log in and submit your question as a separate post - in English.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • This is a great post. Hopefully it will help many people to avoid zina.

        I was looking the link about the major sins in Islam and i have a question. One of them is Abandoning relatives this one applies to the fathers that abandon their own children because they are out of wedlock? ... I mean a couple commit zina, then the girl become pregnant, and after all the father just runaway leaving her with the child and without taking responsibility of his son/daughter. However, if this guy don't marry the girl but he does take responsibility of the children and do a sincere repentance his sin will be forgiven. Do I am right?

  2. I have a question.There are a lot of chatlines available nowadays for youngsters to go and chat on.If two people getting talking and it becomes a little more serious and leads tohow you would talk to someone you are in love with. Is that considered Zina.

    Also if a physical realtionship happens outside marriage and then you get married to that person,is what happened before not Zina because you have got married to that person.

    If both are forms of Zina are there are any duas or recompense that can be made.

    Kind Regards

    Salam and Allah Hafiz.

    • Dear Saira,

      You should be submitting any questions you have separate posts, but I will give you brief answers:

      1. Whether we are talking to someone face to face, on line, or by phone, we should always observe Islamic manners and limits. When you say 'talking to someone in the way you are in love', that could mean many things, but the bottom line is that in at any level it is haraam. What should one do? Stop immediately and make sincere tawbah with the intention of never returning to this sin. That person should also make changes in his life that will help him avoid this sin again.
      2. Zina is zina - whether the two zaanis marry or not. The two zaanis should both do sincere tawbah before marrying each other - fulfilling the requirements of tawbah. After this one should not carry this around with them, doing so will only cause them to despair. So put it into a little box, close it tightly and throw it into the deepest depths of the wide ocean and never look back as Allah promises that he will forgive us if we do sincere tawbah and istigfaar. At the same time, strive to be a righteous Muslim.

      Please see the following links on how to do tawbah:

      http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/tawbah-in-islam/
      http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/tawbah-in-islam/its-not-over-til-the-trumpets-blown-tawbah-and-repentance/
      http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/tawbah-in-islam/poem-turning-back-to-allah/

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Assalamualailkum my question is what is the view of islam on mastourbation please anser my question as soon as possible thank you GOD bless.

  4. is kissing, cuddling, hugging fondling etc equal to sex in islam? I know its wrong in islam for non married couples but does it mean d girl is no more a virgin?

    • me have the Same Question
      wats the reply

    • Lateefah, the kind of intimate contact you are asking about is haram and will lead to zinaa sooner or later.

      If full-on sexual intercourse does not take place, then it is not classified as zinaa and the girl would technically still be a virgin. However, the behavior is still sinful, and will weigh against your soul on Yawm Al-Qiyamah.

      Sometimes it seems that people are more concerned with labels than actually pleasing Allah and obeying Him. As long as a girl can still say on her wedding day that she is a "virgin", then who cares, right? Wrong. It's not your groom that you need to worry about. It's not the people that you need to please. It's Allah subhanahu wa ta-aalaa that you must answer to.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Wael
        I really impressed with ur answer, tht really we shud mostly consider abt Allah n then others,

        n cud u plz explain wat is this Yawm Al-Qiyamah.

        • Yawm al-Qiyamah means "Day of Standing". Is the Day of Resurrection, the Day of Judgment, when all human beings will be resurrected and will stand before Allah to be judged. Belief in Yawm al-Qiyamah is one of the pillars of our faith.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. Asalamu aleiku
    iam married for 11years n have 4-kids..alhamdulillah.my problem is my husband doesnt provide enough,and he send money to his family even if iand my kids are dying of hunger,he smokes and chews miraa as well,so i decided dat i should start my own bussiness of selling second hand clothes at d market so dat i make both ends meet and i know dis will happen by Allah's leave inshaAllah.
    Recently i got phone call from an old male friend and at dis time i was soo stressed,i told him my problems and he said dat i should ask for divorce and latter he will marry me!,i was amazed but i told him i cant leave my kids,he said he is ready for me and my kids but honestly i have my doubts,i've grown to hate men alot and now i just wanna start work inshaAllah and try to raise my kids islamically as i can.
    I need advice and prayers dat i may prosper in my bussiness and be self-sufficient and also i pray for my bros n sis around d globe dat may Allah most high make it easy for us all...aameen

  6. as salaam alikum

    dear brother or sister,

    i have a question,

    I your husband is out to work and you live in his family home, if your husbands parents decide to go out for what ever reason, what should you do if you are told to stay home for what ever reason and your brother in law is home alone with you? Although he is sleeping most of the times due to working nights....

    This has happened on several occasions although i see him as my younger brother, he is only two years younger then me is this allowed in islam or should i raise this issue with my husband?

    Thankyou

    your sister

    DeenFirst

    • Wa Alaikum as Salam sister DeenFirst,

      You should NEVER be home alone with a brother in law, whatever be his age, whatever be your thought about him. This is because of the warning of Allah's Rasool Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam:

      "The Brother-in law is death"

      Uqbah ibn Aamir (Radhiallaahu Anhu) reports that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: Beware of mixing with women. An Ansari Sahaabi enquired, Oh Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam), what about the brother-in-law? At this, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) replied: The brother-in-law is death!? (Sahih Bukhari Hadith5232; Sahih Muslim Hadith5638)

      You should never let the brother in law enter upon you when you are alone in your room, or should not stay in the home with him, alone. It may lead to evils that are too grave.

      Yes, put this to your husband and make some arrangements so that you do not have to stay with him alone at home.

      If you have any further questions or clarification, please post it as a separate post.

      Muhammad Waseem
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  7. Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

    Wael my brother I think you forgot the mistake on this page! Yes, a Muslim comitting zina is not a mumin until he stops.

    There are however deeds that nullify Islam. One of them is mocking Allah and/or his Messengers and miracles.

    Another is abandoning Salah.

    ZIna is not the same as idol-worshiping, or atheism, etc

    • Wa Alaikum as Salam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuhi,

      Brother Gibran, what you have said is a grave error. [ a Muslim comitting zina is not a mumin until he stops.]

      The Aqeedah of the Wa'eedi sects such as the Khawarij is based on this principle. The takfiris believe that the hadith that says that a person who commits a sin, while he commits a sin is not a mu'min means that he is a kaafir.

      This is the basis of many sects including the khawarij. The truth that the Ahlus Sunnah believe is that the person who commits a sin is not a mu'min in his highest level of Imaan, but he is a sinful mu'min. He has Eemaan but not the level of Eemaan in times he obeys Allah. About the Salah, I have heard Shaikh Salih as Suhaymee say that a person who abandons Salah while being aware of its oblugation is rejecting it and hence, is a disbeliever.

      This is the position of all of Ahlus Sunnah. Wallahu A'lam.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

        Yes, a Muslim can have weak faith but a Momin by definition has true, solid faith. I 100% agree with you, I was disagreeing with this quote of the article. You misinterpreted my statement, in fact, my statement is truly anti-Khawaarij.

        "4] Remember you are a disbeliever at the time of committing adultery!"

        So a Muslim can be committing zina, but he still has la ilaha ilallah so he is still a Muslim. But he is not a Momin until he stops committing zina.

        • Brother Gibran, Asalaamualaykum,

          I wrote this: 'Remember you are a disbeliever at the time of committing adultery!", based on these hadiths:

          The Prophet (saw) said: "No adulterer is a believer at the time when he is committing adultery." Narrated by Al-Bukhaari (2475) and Muslim (57).

          He (saw) also said: "If a man commits zina, faith comes out of him and hovers over him like a cloud, then when he stops, faith returns to him." Narrated by Abu Dawood (4960) and al-Tirmidhi (2625); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

          I understand what you are saying, as I used to be of the same opinion, so I will look into both opinions further in'sha'Allah to see what the real deal is.

          SisterZ
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

            All Momins are Muslims but not all Muslims are Mumins. Muslim is a person who has surrendered and accepted Islam but Iman is a higher level then Muslim...

            Anyways, I don't like to delve too much on this topic like the topic of abandoning salah because it takes away from the threat of the hadith. People will be like "oh committing zina is not THAAT bad"

            Just edit your sentence to read:

            "Remember, you are not a believer at the time of committing adultery!."

            If you want to do research on the difference between Islam and Iman, start with this wonderful ayah. I would go to qtafsir.com for more as it has Tafsir ibn Kathir on it.

            http://quran.com/49/14

      • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

        As for abandoning salah, I just usually quote ahadith and statements from the Sahaba about what it means to abandon salah. The purpose is to make people really afraid so that they start performing salah.

        However there is the case of the man who out of fear of Allah told his kids to burn him after his death....and he was forgiven. So Allah is more knowing of who is jahil and who isn't.

        Of course I would never say that committing zina or theft makes one a kaffir. But they are major evils.

        • Kufr is of two types: kufr al asghar (minor kufr) and kufr al akbar (major kufr). The latter makes a person exit the fold of Islam while the former doesb not. Abandoning Salah, different people say different things. Some say it is kufr al asghar and some say it is kufr al akbar. This is why I mentioned shaikh Suhaymee's explanation. According to majority of the scholars it is kufr al akbar.

          But we do not call a person who abandons salah: a kaafir. Because we don't have the right to do so, as long as that person is declared kafir by a ruler/qaadhi after proof has been established and warnings given. Just like I have heard about Shaikh al Islam ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah saying to deviant people: This is kufr but I won't call you kaafir.

          Takfir is a very dangerous matter. According to a Saheeh hadith, when a person calls another a kaafir, it applies to one of them at least. If the opposite person is not a kaafir, the accusation bounces back on the accuser. So we should take caution.

          Abu Abdul Bari
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

            I just quote the hadith to warn people, I don't usually go around making takfir of them. Allah knows their case.

  8. i need to know if a man before his marriage talked , massaged to a girl in the most dirty ways, and send dirty pictures and videos of each of each other and even talked online in video calls admiring each other in the most dirty ways... but never touched physically does it still mean zina.?

    • Zina means the actual act of intercourse, in English 'fornication'. But what you described is technically zina too. Prophet said something like zina of the eyes is watching that which is forbidden, zina of the toungue is talking unlawful, zina of the ears is listening to unlawful etc.

      In Islam, not only is the evil act of ‘zina’ forbidden, but every path or every way that leads one to this evil path is also declared as forbidden! As Allah said: ‘Do not even go near ‘zina’!!!

      Say, "My Lord has only forbidden immoralities - what is apparent of them and what is concealed - and sin, and oppression without right, and that you associate with Allah that for which He has not sent down authority, and that you say about Allah that which you do not know." (7:33)

  9. salamu alaikum, i do zina with a girl an i want to marry her now is that possible in islam.

  10. is being in love with someone a sin??? i really love my boyfriend, and its very pure love...

    • Love is only pure until it causes us to over step the boundaries set by Allah. Then it becomes sinful. Boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are forbidden by Allah.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  11. my boyfriend is a non muslim. how do i convince him to accept islam, cuz i really want him to convert not for getting married but for his own future to be peaceful and worthy....

    • It is very difficult to convince someone to change religions. Would you ever change your religion? If not, why would you expect him to? Most conversions to Islam are by women, and usually when they wish to marry Muslim men. Women are just a bit more flexible that way. All the women I know who have converted to Islam for marriage have usually engaged in some form if sexual intimacy with their Muslim boyfriend; that bonds people in a certain way, so it makes it much harder for a woman to walk away from the relationship.

      I guess if he really loves you for who you are -- and that includes being a Muslim woman -- you can give him some Islamic texts and see if he is moved by them spiritually. My guess is that if Islam hasn't been an impediment to your boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, then he is going to be very shocked and resentful that it should suddenly be an impediment to marriage.

      For your own sanity and spiritual salvation, I would caution you...don't have expectations that he will convert. Men rarely convert to Islam for marriage purposes. Get out of this relationship NOW before further damage is done to you.

      • dear precious star,
        asalamalikum,

        seen a reply from you after sometime. always good to read your reply. you have said what i was thinking. hope you are ok and life is treating you well.

        • thanks for ur valuable suggestion... i really respect whatever you said, and i know that u r rite upto a certain extent and even more.. today i recited him the english version of surah Ya-Sin. He patiently listened to me and said i do believe in what u say....i have faith in Allah too, but i wont leave my religion...he always say ki why dont u sometimes show ur curiosity to know something bout my religion.... i feel the pain ki i wont be able to convince him.. he is ready to accept me the way i am....and expects the same. 🙁 🙁

          • You will have to say good-bye to him. It will hurt for a while, but only until you realize he cannot fulfill your needs, which are spiritual as well as physical and emotional.

            Be strong sister,

  12. This is very helpful for out way peoples to come up on the right way to Islam. Very Great informative website!

  13. sallam can somebody please help? I am a blind user of this website I am unable to log in to the site due to me having to enter a capture image (the code in the image) My screen reader is unable to read the code because the code is made in a certain way however I can solve the maths problems please fix this problem jazakalah allahafiz if my username is required it is latifhamza

    • latifhamza, I have emailed you. Send me your question, and I'll register you and submit the question for you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  14. I know that this website is meant to be helping Muslims in every aspect of Islamic life and all that........ But I just can't seem to understand how I'm gonna make a new account for this site (-___-).... Truly am desperate plz help ..

  15. i commit a sin...

    [Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post.]

  16. Your these posts are really strong. I have not ever fallen into great sins such as fornication but I have learnt what leads to fornication. I am struggling to become a good Muslim,. Your quotes and the verses you have mentioned have made my mind clear about what are the causes of Zina.

    Since I have seen how people commit zina then feel ashamed , I got tears fallen out of my eyes when I read the first part , It was because I had been doing minor sins ,that would lead to zina but it was my Allah who kept me away from committing big sin.

    Thank you for opening my eyes and mind. This site is so helpful.
    keep it up!

  17. This thought-provoking guidance will inshallah go a long way in helping people mend their ways!

  18. Thankyou so much 🙂 this really helped me 🙂

  19. Hello last night...

    • This is the wrong place for this question. Please register and submit your question as a separate post and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah. My short answer to you right now is that you should ask your husband about it. If you don't believe his answer then try searching his things when he's not around. Not much else you can do.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  20. Salam . Please don't delete my post and reply me here.

  21. im 25 year old Im experiencing strange things in life.

    • Please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah. The answer is easy, however. If you don't like the guy and he makes you uncomfortable, just cut off your contact with him and stop seeing him.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • i have decided to stay independent for ever after experiencing strange things in life. i dont feel like wanting another man im a loyal person. In sexually im not interested in any relationship i dont know why i went for him. i was never sexually interested in him he always want it to have it with me. i just need a good friend,. I went for it because i felt sorry for him that he cant get a women. Nor he was good looking to be honsest. i have decided to do Quran Hifz. Stay away from any man or relationship. Nor i want to get married. i never wanna get married ever even if i get proposed by the most good looking man . Ya thanks ill register now. Dont deleted my comment.

        • yes it true i never liked him but still i went for him.

        • M sorry who ever you are.i am a muslim.may be I don't know very much.and "transformer" I am younger than u in age but still whatever you have decided to do with your life is not a solution.it's good to hifz Quran.but to not marry anyone for your whole life..I don't think so is the right decision.however you are obviously free to take your decision.I just wanted to add that marriage is sunnat and it completes your Iman and besides it's better to be secure in all respects. No matter how much we educated girls deny but it's the security of a girl in all respects.and how come u be secure without your mehram.whatever we girls say or how much arguments we do its useless a point comes when we cant deny this fact.and u ld be safe from the bad things whether you ur self indulge in them or not. It's better to complete ur Iman n then keep on doing the right things.
          U have your own life just a friendly suggestion for you.take care .May Allah protect us from evil and bless us with happiness peace and goodness in all our lives ameen.

  22. Islam is a religion for all times. Sooner or later everyone realizes that whatever islam says is for the betterment of not only Muslims but humans on the whole. It's a complete religion. It is a religion of peace.
    May Allah bless us with Iman and protects us from evil ameen.

    • Sateesh ,

      There can be some bad examples but doesn't mean it is because of religion .
      In India some people killed a man just because of suspicion that he had beef in his house .Can you take this example and generalize it ? No .
      In Gujarat and other places there were massacres of innocents .Can you generalize it to any religion ? No.

      Similarly what i see here is your source of knowledge is mainly from media , anti islamic sites or others .Why don't you get yourself educated by going through some authentic Islamic websites ??

      I suggest you to go one by one .For example if you want to look for women rights .Just search for this topic in IRF site and educate yourself .I think most of misunderstandings will go away

      • sateesh, your comments are out of place. This is not a general discussion forum for Islamic issues or interfaith dialogue. This website has a specific purpose, which is to advise people on marriage and family issues. So please do not continue this discussion on this page.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Accepted,dear brother/sister

          I will not do it further, i ll stop it. but my request is to consider female as an independent person while giving your answers(do not always advice her to obey rules and pray Allah only), if there are any obstacle against doing good to women, because of some values of holey book please consider them as to change. my voice is to support women but not degrade Islam. i hope further we all try to fight for women's dignity and freedom. i will try to fight to change loophole against women in my religion and i am expecting the same from you, "humanity first, religion next" by hoping you all to consider to change the culture towards in favour of women in Islam, and request you all to fight to brighter her freedom some more higher then current position. and i too request (suggest) you all to read posts on other forums which may let you to get reality of the some loopholes of practices and current requirements (expectations) of women in world, and you can come to know that what women really wants from society. please come to reality.

          I am very very very sorry my dear friends. signing off.
          sateesh.

          • Next time you decide to comment on here , keep in mind just because your world revolves around women doesn't mean everyone else's does, a muslins first priority is to follow the guidance and teachings of Islam, and once they do that there is no need for "humanity" because Islam teachings paramount anything worldly humanity has to offer.

            Also how are you fighting for women? by preaching nonsense behind your computer? maybe by year 4050 wars will be fought that way to and then your keyboard preaching just may mean something.

  23. dear Demise,

    your post clearly tell's that your way of approach and your attitude. Brother we both are not living in two different worlds, but it's only depend's on our faith that we both are following, and both faith's are telling to treat women as important with prime priority (as per as i know). and you are saying that i limited only to posting over here, let me tell you brother i am at least doing this using my own laptop, my own time. and please do not include all Muslim's with your view's and you'r attitude, i have a lot of Muslim friends who treats women with respect. and if you wish first learn how to respond to other's post's with respecting other's view's (it's up to you) ok.
    whether it is Hindu, Christian, or Muslim, women should come first brother, i stick to my word's. i hope it is my last post here,because i don't want to waste my time along with some other good people's time just because of some bad post's against me and women, i don't even respond to your further post's, because it will not give any result but waste of time. but brother please try to understand the essence of my post, rather then suspecting my supporting doing's towards women and your faith. and this is my final sorry for all other good people over here. sorry.

    again sorry all,
    sateesh.

  24. -What attitude are you trying to get at? I can say that you have an attitude to and I can assume your approach towards any matters to just by your post but im not going to do that because assumption is the mother of all screw up's, so try refraining from assuming in the future. What do you mean don't include all Muslims with my view? if you don't know what a Muslims purpose is then don't tell me iam in the wrong , many people here have suggested that you should first educate yourself about Islam before commenting so before you go pointing fingers at others and their religion fix your own mistakes and if you had taken the time to learn islam instead of posting ignorantly u would have known Islam is all for treating all creations not just women with respect.

    satesh: and if you wish first learn how to respond to other's post's with respecting other's view's (it's up to you) ok

    -so you come here try to bash Islam then expect others to respond to you kindly? Once again quit being a hypocrite and fix your own mistakes first.

    satesh: whether it is Hindu, Christian, or Muslim, women should come first brother, i stick to my word's. i hope it is my last post here, because i don't want to waste my time along with some other good people's time just because of some bad post's against me and women, i don't even respond to your further post's, because it will not give any result but waste of time. but brother please try to understand the essence of my post, rather then suspecting my supporting doing's towards women and your faith. and this is my final sorry for all other good people over here. sorry

    So you don't want to waste time by some bad posts against you and women? where exactly have I stated anything against women? But you come on here and do waste others time by trying to spread hate because of your misconceptions and ignorance. Like i said before just because your world revolves around women doesn't mean everyone else's does. Furthermore why don't you actually do something beneficial for your "women first" cause that you so strongly believe in, other then sitting behind your computer and trying to make a mockery out of someone's religion. Also don't blame the religion just because very few women are struggling , its the society's, their families , their spouses fault that they are going through hardship not religions , its peoples ignorance that blinds them from following the proper teachings of islam properly and mistreat others.

    • btw I hope its your last post here to, don't really want to take the time to respond further to your indiscreet logic

    • dear demise,
      thanks, for your great advise, and your are also requested to watch other how they are treating women at the same time. and you simple said that only just because of few women struggling, is it really few? if so they few also deficiently struggle because of fundamentalists.by you'r 2nd posts, some what i could now understand that you are good at treating women,(u'r 1st post is was not like that) thank's for that. but not every one. really. and you have to know that lot of my post's were deleted, if you have gone through all of my post's than only you can come to understand what i meant. and finally in our religion there are no one (fundamentalist) who are restricting women based on religion's values. some time spend time to observe female problems. instead of just being as they or ok, they are treated very well. i can not point my finger in each and very problem of women (i still hope that you know well, but you want to hide) if you can try to solve them or else leave me i ll do my work.

      thank's
      sateesh

      • Didn't understand half of the stuff you typed, but I have a hunch what your trying to get at, blame the fundamentalists not peoples religion. The women who are struggling usually are in 3rd world countries and there, everyone is struggling , people are loosing their life's everyday, but for some baffling reason your focus just seems to be on women. What specific problems are you trying to get at, other then them having bad husbands, their bfs leaving them, going through heartbreaks, loosing their virginity then trying to be forgiven and some how become pious again. (If you meant having to go through obstacles like forced marriage , rape, beatings or other serious forms of scrutiny then once again the persecutors are to be blamed for their lack of education and a lack of understanding of religion) Have fun with your work , whatever that is

        • great demise,
          at least you had fun of my work, i too have fun but not by you'r work, (some what it is appreciated that you know some of problems ). and the reason behind my fun is your belief. and can you please add "FORCED CONVERSION TO YOUR LIST OF PROBLEMS" and the victim's women are not un educated and not living in 3rd world country but they are living in 1st grade country's . if you do not understand my post it' ok, i ll try to improve my written communication skills as you can understand, but you can not avoid to understand ongoing things against women by fundamentalists. what every women want to do fundamentalists are strictly limiting them (even for small wishes).

          best of luck.
          thank you
          sateesh.

          • First I had a bit of a doubt, but now I know your a full blown.... (word would probably get censored)

            Read it right , i clearly stated the persecutors being uneducated not the women. The reason behind your so call fun is my beliefs? That makes sense a person who has no beliefs like you(and worships women, and statues) would find anyone with beliefs or someone who likes to apply logic to apparatus funny because common sense is beyond them. There are no fundamentalists here in Canada or USA putting any restrictions on women , they are free to do what they want so get your facts correct and instead of proving how ignorant and useless you are by continuing to think your a warrior for women behind your computer quit making yourself look foolish and do something that will actually help people in need (or your beloved women in need)

          • ha ha ha demise,
            dear demise if your are talking this by staying in Canada and USA, then you must thank civil law of those country's. ohh my god. i said something , you got something different (as most of old post were deleted), and now you are talking most irrelevant, but one thing is clear, even educated women's future is in persecutors hand (even in our religion). just understand my pain brother, what if that persecutor's is also fundamentalist, and staying in some country's like iran,iraq,etc.. and that local country law is supporting than man. if u want i ll past some link's. those might be help full. and brother don't you know how they are following these age old traditions in the name of religion (stoning) How they are misusing great system of belief, if anyone commit small mistake (even though it is shaking hands) then they refer some versa, they implement siviour punishment. and finally my conclusion is that just because we both are happy in our secular country's (because of civil law) that does not mean every one (especially women) is happy all over the word . (brother i am sure it is my final post. but please understand that, i am not against your belief and faith, i just request you to understand pain's of some old aged practice, please don't treat me as i am against you'r best practices). i hope you are educated and you have better knowledge then me over social issue's(based on problem's posted by you), but gradually i ll get more knowledge on these social offence against women, and i am sure i ll fight against them, at least i ll rise my voice but it ll take some time,and need some guidance and more knowledge, up to that i ll relay on my laptop and my keyboard.

            thank (sorry) you brother.
            sateesh.

  25. That's why i referred to 3rd world countries but you said its even happening in 1st world countries and its not because there are laws here that wont allow persecutors to have things their way. The point was relevant but you didn't understand it so thought its irrelevant. Whatever they do in the 3rd world countries is based on ignorance and their lack of understanding which i have mentioned before , its not religion that's to be blamed but the people. As far stoning is concerned they shouldn't be just stoning people because they have to have witnesses present who have to testify that the women or men is a fornicator. To your other point about how people (or women) are not happy, would depend on what you define as happiness rather you should state they are abused or neglected and people are always going through some form of abuse or neglect no matter where they are. (ex: in school , work , sometimes even while walking down the street). I didn't treat you as your against religion or belief I pointed out how it was wrong of you to associate peoples error with faith. Moreover don't believe everything you read on the internet because most of the time there is no credible source to back up the facts especially since all the western countries just want to blame Islam and make it seem like what its not. Hope you are educated too and can differentiate the truth from distortion.

    • Dear Demise,
      all most all of your point's are to be most welcome, but again you got it wrong of me and my point of view, ok. i just want to say you that i am saying again that my old post's ware based on some treatment's on the above post(not your's, main one) which are not at all acceptable (whether there are 4 people who testify or not), even should be condemned by all religion peoples (dont know whether you come forward to abolish it or not ? ).we simply say that 3rd grade country's, but we are not ready to give a taught to why these country's became 3rd grade country, which law's they are following,which source they use to implement punishment's like this even in 2015. i can say that they might be following above type of law's (as mentioned) by avoiding civil law.and most country's are men dominated country's. there are all most very low voice of women. at the same time i can not blame media instead of blaming fundamentalist's who are implementing these type of punishment's and trying to make all world follow them like this (even 1st grade country's are also supporting this).this is not only my point of view brother even some Muslim's also feel so i hope you too.

      and thank you so much.
      sateesh.

  26. I want Forgiveness of That Forgiver, I have did wrong deeds alot in the past but now I ended those worst crimes, Will Allah Forgive me?

  27. Salam
    I am a 24 years old muslim girl.I am very much confused right now. Wanted to register on zawaj.com. bt I was not sure to really do that. However as I was saying I am very confuse right now. I had a long relationship with my fiance which finally broke up. I am upset now a days. Because i am 101% supportive towards our relation and still want to do everything to get him.but now he's getting engaged with someone else which he is saying that he got agreed because of his family's pressure. I believe it's not difficult for a man to take a stand but in short it's happening and he's saying he only loves me and will only get into engagement nothing else but I know it wouldn't be like that in future. The main reason i am here is to get some advise according to islam. The main thing I want to add is we have got physical relation with each other which I regret now but what's done is done. I know I should disclose that because it's between me and my Allah but I am telling all that because now my family is also asking me to get married as he left me. But I am terrified to imagine my future because in our community it's not allowed before marriage as we are muslim. I did wrong but as I said I am terrified that if I got married my future husband would get the idea that I am not pure because it's obvious that he would know certainly. And I know men can't tolerate that and it would result in a disaster as my family would finally get to know that as he would not keep me with him I am sure. As I have heard it happens to girls this way. Now I am really scared.I know I did a terrible thing. And I am not worthy of forgiveness and I know Allah is punishing me for that. But please guide me what should I do. I am thinking of not getting married ever as it would disclose my secret. I am confused, lost and disturb. Please guide me I know only Allah can guide us but His followers can be the source. I am unhappy, unsuccessful, depressed and not well. I need guidance and prayers. Please all the people using this site pray for me please pray that may Allah forgive me and guide me. Please pray for my good fortune, for peace of mind and soul, for my happiness and success and we'll being in this world and in akhirat as well.please I need prayers I am broken. I don't wanna shatter.please everyone pray for me. And please reply me here and don't delete my post as I wrote nothing bad in that. I put alot of efforts to write all that peace don't delete that or may be I would not able to discuss that again.
    May Allah help us, guide us and forgive us all. Ameen.

  28. Salam
    I am a 24 years old muslim girl.I am very much confused right now. Wanted to register on zawaj.com. bt I was not sure to really do that. However as I was saying I am very confuse right now. I had a long relationship with my fiance which finally broke up. I am upset now a days. Because i am 101% supportive towards our relation and still want to do everything to get him.but now he's getting engaged with someone else which he is saying that he got agreed because of his family's pressure. I believe it's not difficult for a man to take a stand but in short it's happening and he's saying he only loves me and will only get into engagement nothing else but I know it wouldn't be like that in future. The main reason i am here is to get some advise according to islam. The main thing I want to add is we have got physical relation with each other which I regret now but what's done is done. I know I shouldn't disclose that because it's between me and my Allah but I am telling all that because now my family is also asking me to get married as he left me. But I am terrified to imagine my future because in our community it's not allowed before marriage as we are muslim. I did wrong and i also feel sorry for whatever I did but as I said I am terrified that if I got married my future husband would get the idea that I am not pure because it's obvious that he would know certainly. And I know men can't tolerate that and it would result in a disaster as my family would finally get to know that, as he would not keep me with him I am sure after knowing all that. As I have heard it happens to girls this way. Now I am really scared.I know I did a terrible thing. And I am not worthy of forgiveness and I know Allah is punishing me for that. But please guide me what should I do. I am thinking of not getting married ever as it would disclose my secret. I am confused, lost and disturb. Please guide me I know only Allah can guide us but His followers can be the source. I am unhappy, unsuccessful, depressed and not well. I need guidance and prayers. Please all the people using this site pray for me please pray that may Allah forgive me and guide me. Please pray for my good fortune, for peace of mind and soul, for my happiness and success and well being in this world and in akhirat as well.please I need prayers I am broken. I don't wanna shatter.please everyone pray for me. And please reply me here and don't delete my post as I wrote nothing bad in that. I put alot of efforts to write all that, please don't delete that or may be I wouldn't gather the strength to discuss that again.
    May Allah help us, guide us and forgive us all. Ameen.

  29. I've known my husband for 23 years and we just got married in 2012 he was in prison for 14years and when he was released in 2010 we reunited , well he also has another female that he has allowed to disrespect me and our marriage he has fathered two children with this female and he has allowed her to put her hands on me harass me etc.... He goes back and forward between us he lies and says he loves me and is in love with me but he kicked me out of the house leaving me homeless and moved her back into the house , now they moved together to a whole new state leaving me with nothing in homeless sleeping on my brothers couch with my child and grandchildren, and still from another state the woman continues to harass me and he doesn't nothing , he doesn't talk to me he doesn't take care of me , I don't know what to do I love my husband

  30. I am 13 year olds and I watch porn. I really really really don't want to watch it. I can even feel ALLAH helping me to stop it. But I can't. Now I am really angry on myself. Can anyone help?

    • We have published numerous posts about pornography and how to quit. Please search our archives. May Allah give you the strength and wisdom to defeat this habit.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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