Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How to Give Advice

We invite all readers to read other people's questions and offer any sincere advice they may have. When doing so, please keep the following guidelines in mind:

Please Do:

  • Show compassion and kindness in your answer. Be gentle.
  • Try to answer as a Muslim, keeping in mind the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah.
  • Remember that Islam is a religion of mercy and forgiveness.

Please Do Not:

  • Ridicule or mock anyone.
  • Encourage hatred, racism or nationalism.
  • Judge or condemn someone harshly. Even though they may have committed sins or made mistakes, they are human beings who are confused or in pain. They need guidance, not vitriol.
  • (For those non-Muslim readers) denounce the Islamic religion or Muslim beliefs. That is not helpful.
  • Any comments displaying the above qualities will be deleted. This is not one of those "anything goes" types of forums.

I think the reason that people are sometimes tempted to leave harsh comments is that we may have an unrealistically rosy view of Muslim behavior and relationships in general, and we may be shocked when we read about some of the terrible situations that people put themselves in. I want to point out three things:

1. Human beings make mistakes. Human beings commit sins. Human beings do foolish things. Human beings act badly sometimes. Human beings are unfaithful sometimes. Human beings hurt each other sometimes. That's a part of life.

2. Muslims are human beings.

3. When these bad things happen, people need somewhere to go for help, advice and guidance. This website is one of those places. This site fulfills an important role Insha'Allah. Instead of despising these people who find themselves in difficult situations, we try to guide them. When the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was preaching in Makkah, he did not stand up and say, "You people are disgusting, your lives are sinful, you make me sick." No. He called them to the truth.

It's true that most of the people on this website are Muslims already, but maybe they lack Islamic education, or they are weak, or they made mistakes. It's not our place to condemn them. That will only drive them further away from the correct path and make them feel that Islam is harsh and mean.

'Umar ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "If you see that one of you has slipped, correct him, pray for him and do not help Shaytan against him (by insulting him)."

We do not have to approve of the acts that other people do to be able to give kind and helpful advice.

Allah the Almighty says, “Make allowances for people, command what is right, and turn away from the ignorant.” (7:199)

Let's also look to the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) as our example. Allah said to him in the Quran, 3:159:

"So by mercy from Allah , [O Muúammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah . Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him]."

The Prophet (pbuh) was the most kind and gentle man, even with the disbelievers, some of whom were hardened opponents to Islam.

One time a man entered into the Prophet Muhammed’s mosque as the sahaba and the Prophet (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) were assembled after prayer. The man walked into the midst of the companions and in front of the Prophet (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) he began to relieve himself.

The companions rose up in anger and were about to beat him for his vulgarity. Immediately the Prophet (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) called out to his companions to settle down and let the man finish urinating. When he had finished, Muhammad (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) called him over and said:

“These mosques are not suitable places for urine and filth, but are only for worshipping Allah, remembrance of Allah, prayer and recitation of the Quran. Do not do this again.”

Then the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) gave orders to one of his companions to bring a bucket and pour water over it.

Upon witnessing this, the man supplicated the Al Mighty Allah, “O Allah! Have mercy only on me and Muhammad, O Allah! Forgive only me and Muhammad.”

The Prophet Muhammad (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) smiled and corrected the man, “Do not confine the limitless! You have constricted the vastness (of Allah’s Mercy) into narrowness.”

The bedouin entered the mosque with animosity and hatred. Later he would declare that before this incident, he hated none greater than the Prophet (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam). After the encounter, he loved none more than the Prophet (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) .

Why? Because the Prophet (pbuh) spoke to him with gentleness and compassion. He did not say to the man, "You are disgusting! What's the matter with you? Are you stupid?" No. He spoke to the man kindly, and in doing so he made a new ally, as the man was quite grateful to him for teaching him.

As Yahya Ibrahim has written,

The Sunnah is love and forgiveness.

The Sunnah is clemency and sincerity.

The Sunnah is putting others first.

Let's take him as our example. Allah, The Al-Mighty describes the Prophet Muhammed (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) in Surat at-Taubah 9:128

“Verily, there has come unto you a Messenger from amongst yourselves. It grieves him that you should receive any injury or difficulty. He is anxious over you; for the believers (he is) full of pity, kind, and merciful. “

Pity, kindness and mercy... Our mission here to educate people with kindness so that they can be guided to the right way. Maybe our words will have an effect, maybe not, but if we save the life of even one person, what is that worth? It is worth all the wealth in the world, and more.

Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor

105 Responses »

  1. Marry a divorced woman and only if you can live with her all ur life not just for desires and ur own ways, mariage is a till death do us apart relation, not to be left for parents and family , parents life is already stable. Marry a woman to make her happy n not mor sadness then what she was already going thru and coping with. because if you marry a woman and then after that if you divorce her again then life ends for her at that very point, even parents dont suport the second divorce then the woman is left on the street with her kids and ofcourse she canot leave kids and go to work for 10 hours her heart is fullly in what her kids must be doing whats hapening with them in the baby sitting etc etc and time adjuzments to pick dem drop dem , in the end wht does the woman den do - ofcourse out of saturation she collapses and cries and gets miserable beter not to marry dan to bcome lonely, not able to arange any finances and in the end bcome more hopeless than 1st divorce .
    First men show a lot of caring love and big promises and then change within no time , break all promises and leave according to their convenience and woman is left with a big 0 for the blind trust that she gives him

  2. i have qustion im marry tow years b4 this is my second marry with a man who have allready wife b4 and one doughter so thts his second marry too.and this is my second marry too.the qustion is that we both ok and have no children i have a doughter aswel with my x husband.problem is that my inlaws is not happy with us they involve bedly in my life and want there son give me divorce and get marry thred one im sori to sey we both happy no problem eachother but they realy give me hard time trying to over control to there son and im so upset what can i do do i get divorce with him and give permition to get marry agian but there is no garenty he get childre from her ........im alone persone have no parents settal in uk my sis or brother didnt know anything i didnt told anybody what is mass condition in our life we both so upsey they even dont talk to there son just demand to divorce me without any reason im so helples waht can i do help me out of this ....

    • anila, not everyone has a child within the first two years. It's possible that you will still have a child with your husband. In any case, it's really up to your husband, isn't it? If he is loyal he will stick with you. If you want more detailed advice, then please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Stay cool. Increase love for ur husband. Do not react to what other members of ur husband's family say or do. Rest assured things will change for the better. It is difficult to change others but within ur power to change ur self. It is difficult but doable. Wish u all the best in ur endeavor .

  3. Salaamu alaykulm I have a small question I am marrying for the second time alhamdollilah my first muslim marriage / my previous marriage when I was Christian before I have a daughter and I wanted to ask if it is halal for my daughter of my first marriage to marry my future husbands nephew which will be her step cousin they have no blood relation

    • Salaams,

      In the future, please write your question in a post of it's own so we can be fair to others who have waited for a response.

      Since it is permissible for cousins who are blood-related to marry, I would imagine it would also be permissable for step-cousins who are not blood-related to marry.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Walaikum salaam.. Answer is YES.. Your daughter can marry..!

      Allah knows the best

  4. Aslamu Alaykum Warahmatu Allah

    (Comment has been deleted. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  5. Hi,
    My name is Reiha Ali, i am a converted muslim lady..
    my question is that my parents and brothers they still calls me by the name they have given me (Rekha : the meaning is Line or Limit).
    Is their any proble by calling me by this name.
    And also is want to know that i should cut my blood relation with all. Which is very heard for me
    Please advise me..

    Thanks
    Reiha..

    • Reiha, there's nothing wrong with your family calling you by your birth name, since the meaning of the name is not bad. And in Islam we do not cut our blood relations, even if they are non-Muslims. Islam places great importance on maintaining family ties. The only thing to remember is that your first allegiance is to Allah; so you should not obey your family in anything bad or un-Islamic.

      If you need any further advice, please log in and write your question as a separate post. Thank you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  6. itxxx a gudd site

  7. my friend wants to marry my father's first cousin1 they had same ages as well. is that possible

  8. Asalam wailakum hope your all well inshallah,
    Brother wael its the first time iv posted on this site, thing is i cant find my post iv submited, forgive me if you have answered my post , its just am new to this and i cant find what i submitted
    Regards sister h

    • opto, there is no post submitted by you under this username. Please log in and try again, and don't forget to save the post when you are done.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  9. Someone reply to my story 🙁

  10. asc...im muslim sister married allahumdlaih have two beautiful children mashaallah. .I have been married for four years.....me and my husband going ups and down...in life...everything was ok at beginning but.... after words he was change got pregnant and he gave me hard time..Im not perfact myself...but the reason why everything was change becouse he married with out me knowning I always told him if u want to get another wify please let me know l..but he naver did he lied to me while I was pregnant he is going to study for two weeks in Malaysia but he was lying he was going to new wify after I found out he got anther wify ...I naver told hom.anything I tild.his familg anf he admit he is said that I dint gave him attention and he said he was.not my salve anymore I give him.to much problems...but none above isnt true...the resson we use ti fight during my pregnant he dont help me he abuse me and tel me bad words dont respact me..I always told me u neef to change u behiever .I tel him to pray.. I alwys pray allah swt to guide him the right parth inshallah.and I told.me about im ok about him getting married..but I dont trust him he lies alot like laterally about everything.i dont what to do.we dont sleep together..is not his fault is me I told him he can stay with his kids but nothing wil ever happend between us.....but now I wanna move to anther stata .with my kids...becouse I dont have happniss and I keep trying him to give him change but he is.not working..so what is right thing to do...ask for divorce or just leave and be separate maybe he wi change what shoud I do

  11. @Wael: assalamualaikum .

    As Muslims, our duty is to remind each other about what is good and bad. So thought I will share with you what is correct.

    i dont know why are there so many pictures of women displayed in this website.

    you must be more cautious about these things my brother.

    I request you to delete the pictures of women from this website.

    and try your best to run this website in accordance with the teachings of Islam.

    Am sorry if you felt bad.

    • Where did you see women's pic? 😮

      • when you open the website zawaj.com you can see a woman's pic and saying sign up.

        and in many places. i do not want to mention where as i do not want any man to go and check them out.

        • khader, this advice website is separate from Zawaj.com, though they are hosted on the same server.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • i see..

            anyways consider my advice.. remove the pictures of women even in tht website.
            i am sorry again if u felt bad by this advice.
            your brother in Islam.

    • Salaam.
      As bro Wael said it is a seperate site so I dont think that there is anything anyone can do about it.
      I use this site all the time and I never see the pictures of women. Try this:

      If you go to straight to http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/
      instead of zawaj.com you can avoid the pictures.
      Save this as a favourite and you can go straight to our website without going through theirs first.

      Sara
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Walaikumassalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu.

        I do not understand what is the need of posting the pictures of a woman in any of the sites.

        Don't you think one is increasing his/her account of sins by making other men see the woman that way? .

        _________________
        May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

  12. I posted a question on 21/3 and still haven't been answered...why?!!!!!

  13. I have one problem will you help me please i m confused as i am vergin or not i never had sex with any boy but when i was child before 10 year one boy intercause with me i dont remember what happen whether blood came or not but now i am afraid for myself that what i should to do. i never sex with any boy only for jinah is haram so but if i lost my verginity than my would be hubby doubt upon me please help me for that.

    • Riya Roy,

      If someone had intercourse with you, you are not virgin, but if not, then you are still virgin.

      Your poential partner may not doubt you because hymen can break with reasons other than sexual intercourse. If you need further advise, please login and submit your question separately.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  14. Hello,

    I am 18 years old and is in love with my first cousin for many years now, i recently found out he feels the same. We both want to get married in the future however we are scared of one thing. His parents were first cousins when they got married. So his dad is my dads cousin and his mom is my aunt? Are we still allowed to get married?

    • Assalamualaikum Sarah,

      Yes you are allowed to marry him because he is not your Mahram. But do not go beyond the allowed limits putting yourself into trouble. Keep no contact until you both are ready to get married and then let him initiate the talks somehow.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  15. Hi

    Is talking to someone you love through texting or facebook haram, and we both do know we like each other?

    Please and Thank You

    • You should not do that, lest it should lead to the greater haraam.

      For further advise, login and submit your question separately.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • where can i log in ?

        also if we just say things like "i love you" and just nice things to each other is that still wrong, even though we both are strong Muslim's and would never go any further from that as religion is first to us? The only reason I'm asking this is because we cannot go through a day without talking at least once .

        p.s this is a long distance relationship

        • maria, the link to register or log in is on the home page, on the right side, underneath the Recent Stories.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • @maria-

          If he is really interested in you, then he should marry you.
          If you continue a haraam relationship then anything can happen. Allah knows best.

          shaitan may not tell you straight forward to go commit zina, rather shaitan can slowly make you fall into his traps.

          Stop communicating with him for the sake of Allah.

          Tell him if he wants you, then he has to come through proper doors. Ask him to speak to your father that he is interested to marry you.

          i dont know your age but if you think you two are very young to marry then you should know that..
          ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas got married when he was 11 years old, and he had a child. Hence it was said that that there was only thirteen years between him and his son ‘Abd-Allaah.

          By the way are you sure you really want to marry him ?
          Marriage is not a joke. You should ask your parents to find out more about him.
          Do istikhara.

          I know it would be hard to stop communicating with him but you should remember that Whoever gives up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will compensate him with something better than it.
          _________________
          May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

          • I understand what you are saying, we are too young to get married and our parents would never accept it or even allow us to bring it up at this age, we're only teens. Stopping all communication is really impossible as we are too used to talking at least once? If the conversation is kept to normal chatting is it really that wrong?

          • maria,

            We have received your post. We shall publish it in turn in sha Allah. This page is not meant for asking questions. Please have patience until your post is published. Thanks!

            Abu Abdul Bari
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • @maria551

          My sister in Islam,

          Firstly, know that the shaitan is our enemy

          Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

          “Surely, Shaytan (Satan) is an enemy to you, so take (treat) him as an enemy”
          [Faatir 35:6 ]

          “and follow not the footsteps of Shaytaan (Satan). Verily, he is to you an open enemy”
          [al-Baqarah 2:168]
          ____________________

          Do you want to follow the footsteps of the shaitan ?
          ? Do you want to please yourself by displeasing Allah.

          Secondly,
          Respect yourself. Keep yourself pure. Tell him Islam does not allow me to communicate with you. If you both continue to talk it could lead to more sin.

          Be patient.

          Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

          O you who believe! Seek help in patience and As-Salat (the prayer). Truly! Allah is with As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.).
          [Surat Al-Baqarah 2:153]
          _____________________________

          Thirdly,
          see if you or anybody else can try to speak with your parents and make them understand what you are going through.

          _________________
          May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

          • although we have just agreed to stop all communication, thanks to ure advice,

            last question does the fact that we are first cousins make any exceptions to the communication or not ?

            Thank you

  16. assalamualikum
    i am a teenage boy.i am facing adult sexual problems.(don't like to describe them.my problem is completely appositive to islamic role.please just understand it.)i need quranic solution such as surah or dua.
    please any body help me to completely eliminating them and best of my future.(it is my first experience in internet and sorry for any mistake.)

    • sali, wa alaykum as-salam. We have answered questions about every kind of sexual problem, so please search our archives. May Allah make things easy for you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • thank you wael sir.i thing that surath noor is best for studying my problems.

        i have another doubt.i am hearing much more songs because i am too like them.but hearing only songs that related to islamic advises and features. but problem is most of them contain musical instrument.(some songs such as islamic nasheed contain vocals.)
        i don't know what is the response of our religion about them.
        please give me an advice.
        SALAM.

  17. i have another doubt.i am hearing
    much more songs because i am too
    like them.but hearing only songs that
    related to islamic advises and
    features. but problem is most of
    them contain musical instrument.
    (some songs such as islamic nasheed
    contain vocals.)
    i don't know what is the response of
    our religion about them.
    please give me an advice.

  18. I need help n advice regarding marrying a married man n i am new in this site how/where can i post my question?????????????????? plz plz help me

  19. i have failed to log in but please advise me,am barely a year old in islam,am currently studyin in a foreign country .i told my parents about my new religion and they are not happy with my decision,now they rarely call me.my problem is my traditional name which they call me by means "WIFE OF god.i know such names are not allowed in islam.now how do i tell them to stop using it as they already find it difficult to accept me as a Muslim.in ramadan i will be going back in shaa allah but am afraid where to start convincing them to change my name.i have to change my national cards name to islamic and my religion as well to islam but they cant do it without my parents presence. How do i convince my Christian parents?please help.

    • khadijah, my suggestion is don't worry bout what your parents call you. For them to accept you as a Muslim doesn't mean you force them to use a new name. It means you let them see you practicing Islam, and let them see that it has not changed your relationship with them or your love for them. You can introduce yourself to Muslims and others with your new name.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  20. Asalam o alakim. here i am new to this site, i have risgester 2times, but im again failed to login , even my pasward and user name are also correct, but i don't know that why is this happening . so i have a question that can we have ordinary friends ,, without any love relationship, like facebook friends, just goosip type, without any negative reason . just a friend?? please clear my mind so i could be able to distinguish between friends and boy love frinds according to Islam.

  21. Assalamualikum I am a muslimah.

  22. As salamualaikum,
    I have registered twice through different email ids but still the password hasnt been sent to any of my email addresses. Iam in distress n pain.. I want to submit a question.. please guide me.. Jazak Allahu khair.

  23. It's indeed a very helpful website where one can learn from others' mistakes or rather experiences and keep away from going through the same situations.

    Allah the Almighty will surely reward all of you who give wise advice to posters and make them feel comfortable and gain confidence anew no matter the problems they go through individually 🙂

  24. Assalam o Alaikum to dear All. I wouLd just like to add one thing that Allah has prohibited in Islam to marry a person who commits shirk (to worship someone or something other than Allah). Since bahais bow toward akka where there is the grave of Baha'u'llah. They also offer pilgrimage at akka if we see carefully then we would find them worshiping a grave of a man. So it becomes shirk in this regard.

  25. Assalam. am a Nigerian (remainder of comment deleted by editor).

    • Salaams,

      Please log in and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer it in turn in shaa Allah.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  26. My Sis isn't ready to get married she's really young and not really capable to handle this responsibility and my parents are not understanding her and are thinking about it and my parents are really narrow minded and never believe there own children always doubting about every small silly thing also plz give me a dua to prevent this problem

  27. Mr wael, i am a new member but i cannot log in to submit a question. Why?

  28. Salaam

    I need help I'm struggling with my marriage
    But I don't know how to use this website
    Can some one guide me please

    JazakAllah Khair

    • Assalam alaikum Sister,

      Follow the following steps:

      How to Submit Your Question as a Draft:
      1. From the home page, click on the link on the right side to register (it's just beneath the image slider). Make sure you write down your username and password.

      2. Log in.

      3. On the menu bar on the left side of the page, click on "Posts", then beneath that, click on "Add New."

      4. Write a title at the top, then in the big text box, write your question. Don't worry about writing the excerpt, adding tags, choosing categories, etc. You can do those things if you like, but if not then the website staff will do it.

      5. If you need to save it and finish it later, click the "Save Draft" button at the top right.

      6. When you are finished, click the blue "Submit for Review" button on the upper right.

      That's it! Your question will be placed in the queue and the IslamicAnswers.com staff will publish it in turn.

      May Allah ease your difficulties, Ameen.

  29. "So by mercy from Allah , [O Muúammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah . Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him]."

  30. (Comment has been removed. - Editor).

    • Brother amer, I will answer your question briefly. If you need further advice, please register and submit your question as a separate post. So - Take responsibility for your actions. Cut off your relationship with the girl totally. If necessary, change your telephone number and email, and delete your Facebook page. Make tawbah to Allah and continue asking forgiveness and doing good deeds.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  31. Assalamualikum,

    If any one having sex or intercourse with his wife's sister (sister in law) who got married already and she living with her husband and also his wife still living with him. what does Islam says about this type of case?

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Sexual activities between two people who are not married to each other is not permissible in Islam. If those two people are married to other people, then they are cheating on their spouses, which is also not permissible in Islam. They need to stop these activities and make sincere tawbah.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

      • I think everybody has known about (jina) sexual activities without spouses is forbidden in Islam. but if any one who had did, what i said in my previous comment, is there any special hadis for on that case, in Islam. I need to clear some one.

  32. Good Day,

    I'm Joan Cerrado my husband works in Riyadh Saudi we married legally here in the Philippines But he converted to muslim and marry a domestic helper that i don't know. I've already filed against him here in the Philippines but sad to say he has to be here in the Philippines. Is there any possible way that he can go back here in the Philippines. Is there any law in Islam that I can sue him.
    Thank you Hope you can help me

  33. i am Ali , My engagement has been done as per mutual understanding of both families. This was arrange marriage . we are closed relatives and now due to some miss-understanding in both families relations have been crushed and they don't want continue this relation. But me and the girl wants to continue this relation because we have great understanding.
    Pls give me suggestion in Islamic ways that how can i resolve this issue.

    Awaiting for the positive response

    • Make it clear to your families that you want to continue, and insist that they mend the relations. If possible, bring an Imam or learned person to mediate whatever problem caused the dispute.

      If you need further advice, please register and submit your question as a separate post.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • me and the girl have cleared that we want to continue.But my mother and bride father is both of anti to each other. pls give me the any wazifa aur some thing else , that their hearts will be soft.

        i cant happy with other one, and she has also the same views.

  34. As-salamo-alykum...

    [Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

  35. It seems I can not post. Have I been suspended somehow? I do not understand why. Please, expalin to me. I have not offended anybody, nor have I been vulgar or rude.

    • Assalaamualaikam

      I'm not aware of you having been suspended or put on moderation. Sometimes our spam filters can be over-enthusiastic, so that could be the case. It's usually fixed by logging out, closing your browser and then logging back in. If that doesn't fix it, try clearing cookies from your computer and turning your internet off and on again.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

  36. Salam aleykum. I'm Malak. I converted to islam about 3.5years ago. 16.7this year will be 3years after marriage with Egyptian Muslim. We have 1.5 years ago son Ahmed. The problem is with my husband. He is talking to many girls. I watched him to talk to him ex engaged girl. Many times he says that he is not talking to her. Last year he promised he will never talk to her again. But I watched him again. I saw his msg to her like I miss u my heart, send her pics, always talks her, finished credit quickly... Yesterday something happens makes me down.. I found in his pocket paper , its paper from this girl. She wrote save the date 6.1.2015 means he saw her, love my baby, she says she ate the best macaron in the life my life. My husband had restaurant in this time. He is living in another city. I said to him yesterday about it. I got answer its not ur bussines. I said what batter talk her or her mother. I listened if u or anyone will talk her or her family I will finish with u n her. If i m talking to him be good, his answer its not ur bussiness u should accept. What I should do? I'm not too bad that he is with me like that... Help me! Shokran!!!!

    • Assalaamu Alaykum,

      It seems you have evidence that he is not being truthful or faithful. Are you considering ending the marriage, or hoping he will start acting right on his own? Usually people won't change like that. You have to think seriously if you are going to continue tolerating this or not. If you need more advice please log in and submit your question as a separate post.

      -Amy
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  37. salaam, I have question about my married life. I got married with widow woman and she has a daughter from her ex husband, I have also my own son from her but our marriage could not successful because her daughter also create many problems in our life so we fight. I am not happy.my wife left my home many times. many months has gone but she did not contact me. even i did not see my son. i need your advice. what should i do.....

    • ali, it's difficult to advise you because you did not provide many details. Based on what you wrote, I would say that you should stop fighting with your wife about her daughter. Let her handle her daughter in her own way, and do not interfere. If you need further advice please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  38. how does one stop the cycle of abuse?

    • One must, take a stand against it and do something about it , while continuing to ask Allah for his blessings and a successful victory against the abusers

  39. Where is brother wael these days >:(

  40. thank you so much for creating this site. i learned so much by just simply reading this, this way is much more relaxing (not the right choice of words but wtv). because everytime i ask advice from my friends or parents they always use this tone which makes me uncomfortable and decided to stop asking things. thank you so much. jazakallah

  41. 'Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone'.
    A Bibilical reference, I know, but it really sums up how people should think before judging, and how to give advice.

  42. Salams Wael, Tayaba posted a comment in 2013 about how she got her husband to change from bad to good. Please can you contact her and ask if she would contact me as I desperately need help too. Ws

  43. Hi i have some questions regarding divorce. Can you please help me

  44. Mubaraka on February 9, 2016 at 9:30 pm
    I am 27 years old got married at the age of 18 because of some stressful life with out a mum. I lived my childhood living with many different people even my own ones were like strangers so just to get abit of freedom I decided to get married to this guy who I have been chatting to for 9 months not knowing nothing about him. After my marriage I found out he does drugs. I patiently kept going for 9 years we have 3 beautiful daughters. As I’m becoming older I’m finding it difficult to cope this stituation. My husband is not supportive towards me or the kids I have no family members to ask help for. He spends all my money not thinking how would I buy stuff for the kids Tomorrow. He would steal stuff from the shops to make the kids happy I’m just sick of this now. Since I got married I never felt like a real wife I’ve suffered a lot in life from childhood till my marriage life. I don’t see a bright future for my innocent kids I don’t have any savings for them It feels as if my home feels like punishment to me and my kids. People say to me think about the kids but what about me don't I deserve a proper married life? Doesn't the kid deserve a good father who won't struggle to pay £10 a week to teach his kids Arabic? I want to end this relationship for the sake of my children's good future save abit of money for them and give them the right upbringing.

    Reply

    • May Allah help you my sister. I'm 18 year old boy who dont know about anything marrige life and i dont have much experiance.but i really want to help mothers like you because My mom have gone thru alot of problems like you are having now. All she did was asking for the help from Allah and had patient Now Allhamdullah we are happy family. So my point is have patient and ask for help from Allah.
      make your husbend pray 5 times a day . Make him read Quran Let him know that Allah will indeed ask from the Fathers about the blessing (children) from them. make him worry about his family and life.Recite Ayatul_kursi every day you wakeup and sleep in the night. May Allah bless you. and indeed you have a great place in jannah and you deserve awsome life in jannah ! 😉
      <3 have faith in yourself and dont give up !

      • same story with my mother too. She worked hard and brought all my sisters and bros up never lost patience that's the trick.
        Trust Allah.

  45. There is no option to report something to admin, so I'm going to say this. I had a complaint, but I decided not to take it further because the moderation of this website is very poor. You make rules and certain users have not obeyed them and sadly I'm never coming to this website again. I have felt judged, ridiculed and as if I can't give advice without being ridiculed again. I just wanted to point this out I hope that this post gets deleted I needed to say this much.

  46. Stopping masturbation will develop the self confidence, talking power, ability to think in a right manner. You will come out from the day dreaming world to real world. Think logically and put your mind to be in your control. When thoughts are commanding you then be in a public crowd. Dont be alone. When you are not capable to control yourself then marriage will be the right decision. If you want to give satisfaction to your spouse then you should stop masturbation.

    Continuous masturbation will Leads to pre ejaculation. Always use to listen your brain rather than your heart......

  47. Asalamualaikum my name is sadaf.

    And i dont know how to explain this...to be honest .. this is the month of october now...and this type of feelings started bothering me during my inter 2ndyear exams ... i used to be a very good and fun loving person..and i always lived my life to its extnt...i thank allah swt for every thing he gave me now nd then..i know he is always with me no matter wer i am. but this is bothering me like i can't explain in words in all of this previous months i was doing fine...but whenever i have nothing to do i think about those things...my problem is i am afraid of a man his face his face keeps disturbing me everytime i think about him he is more than a nightmare to me...i just always try not to think about him but he constantly appears ... while thinking so hard ... i dont understand what should i do... he is just a flim actor ... i know this sounds stupid but i am suffering...this is very bad ...:| pls people tell me something from which i could just cop up from this images i see in my imagination.

  48. Please help me urgently......!

    • Adeel, please register and submit your question as a separate post and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah. My short answer to you right now is, why not go to the girl's family and let your intentions be known at least? In the meantime keep on looking for a job and may Allah bless you and give you success.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  49. Wael, can u please remove my name on another post please. Please emAil me...I can send u a Link. It was a mistake. It was about marrying cousins..

  50. Assalamo alaikum. I logged into this site after a long time and I have a bit of feedback for the editors. I've noticed that there are many posts , some of which are quite heartbreaking to read, which have only one or two comments and those not very helpful. Editors, I know that you might have very busy routines, but it takes courage to spill your guts out on a public forum, and many of these posts sound desperate. They deserve to receive a detailed, comprehensive answer by knowledgeable, balanced people, such as the editors of this site, because there is a lot of difference between the comments made by the editors, and those made by other people, however well meaning. If you editors could arrange things in such a way that every post receives a response from you, or atleast if you could send a link to a similar post in the comment section, it would be great and I'm sure a lot of people would be very grateful.

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