Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Suicide in Islam

Rainbow in a brown sky

Dealing With Thoughts of Suicide

By Wael Abdelgawad for IslamicAnswers.com

I have been answering questions at IslamicAnswers.com (formerly AskBilqis.com) for over ten years now. I tend to see the same types of questions asked again and again. Some are from women trapped in abusive marriages, others from young people who are in love, or heartbroken, or confused. The questions that disturb me most of all are the ones from (usually young) people considering suicide.

I wish that our society today would not put our young Muslims in such difficult positions that their lives become cramped and hopeless. Many of our youth today are put in positions where it is almost impossible for them to marry; or they are denied marriage to the one they choose because of superficial circumstances; or they are pressured into marriage against their will; or they are raised with no guidance or teaching, so that they get into sinful lifestyles and are then burdened with sin and guilt and don't know how to purify themselves.

Insha'Allah I will try to impart some important messages and ideas to those of you who may have contemplated suicide, for any reason.

You are unique and you are loved

You, my brother or sister who is experiencing difficulty in your life, try to be strong and remind yourself of all the wonderful things in life. This world is so full of beauty, from the stars in the sky to the taste of a sweet apple in your mouth; from flowers blooming in spring time to the majesty of a lightning storm. There is so much to see and experience. There is so much mystery. Open your eyes to it. There are miracles all around you.

Dirt track in a beautiful field

The world is full of beauty and fresh opportunity

As far as your own existence, know that your life has meaning and purpose. Allah put you on this earth for a reason. You are a unique person, the only one of your kind in the universe, and as such you are a treasure. Just as Allah created the stars, the oceans, and the majestic trees, He created you. In fact you dwarf them, because you are a creature of complexity and free will.

If it seems that those around you do not value you, it may be only that they do not know how to show it. Parents who were raised in families that do not express love freely may be uncomfortable showing affection to their own children or spouses. But that does not mean that they do not love you and care about you deeply.

Know, in any case, that Allah values you and cares about you.

In one of the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) we are told that, "Allah is more loving and kinder than a mother to her dear child."

In another saying, the Prophet (pbuh) said, “Allah has one hundred parts of mercy, of which He sent down one between the jinn, humankind, the animals and the insects, by means of which they are compassionate and merciful to one another, and by means of which wild animals are kind to their offspring. And Allah has kept back ninety-nine parts of mercy with which to be merciful to His slaves of the Day of Resurrection.” - Saheeh Muslim, al-Tawbah, 6908

Also, please believe that I care about you as well, even without knowing you, as do others who write about these subjects and speak about them. That is why we do it, because we care.

I would like to talk about why suicide is not the Muslim way; and to suggest a way forward for those who are having these thoughts.

First, consult a professional

Untreated and undiagnosed clinical mental illness is one of the leading causes of suicide. If you are depressed, and are truly suicidal, you should consult a psychiatrist or a primary care physician as soon as possible.

The majority of people who are suicidal are clinically depressed and require medication to function normally, and stabilize themselves. They lack the ability to control these types of thoughts because their thinking is distorted. The filter through which they view the world is flawed because of a chemical imbalance.

Prayer and faith may not always be enough for people are clinically depressed. They may feel that they have failed as Muslims, or are unloved by Allah; such thoughts persist and reinforce their depression.

So the first thing you should do is see your doctor and talk about the feelings you are having. Your doctor can refer you to someone who can help you deal with these feelings in an appropriate way. If you are clinically depressed, meaning there is something wrong with your brain chemistry that is causing your depression, there may be a medication that can make a huge difference for you. There's nothing wrong or shameful about this, any more than it would be if it were medication for a heart condition.

Suicide is not the Muslim way

Remember, we are Muslims, we do not kill ourselves! That is not our way. It is a sin, and it is NOT an answer to life's problems.

It's important that we turn to Allah in times of distress. He, our Creator, offers us comfort, guidance and care. He is not a vengeful God, seeking our destruction. Rather He is Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem, the Most Merciful and Mercy-Giving.

Some people seek solace in material things in times of stress. They might look to consumerism, drugs or alcohol. However, these things offer no answers.

We can find comfort in good friends, healthy hobbies, the beauty of nature, and even in a good book. More importantly, for a believer everything begins and ends with Allah. That's where we must start our search for a way forward out of our depression and sadness.

Allah never burdens someone with more than he can bear

Sun rays through the treesWhatever has befallen you, I guarantee that you are strong enough to bear it and come out stronger on the other side. How can I guarantee this? Because Allah says so in the Quran (Surat Al-Baqarah 2:286), in this beautiful verse which is also a wonderful dua' for those who are suffering:

"Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people." (Umm Muhammad translation)

Allah created you, and He knows your strengths and capabilities. No matter how tough your life circumstances seem, Allah knows that you can handle it, and that there is an important lesson in it for you, or an important test. We human beings are astonishingly resilient and we can tolerate much more than most of us realize.

At times like this, when life seems like a heavy weight driving us down, we do not ask questions like, "Why me?" Or "Why has Allah done this to me?" Or, "Is this a punishment for me?" Or, "Am I cursed?" Those are absolutely the wrong questions.

Why are they the wrong questions? Because they suppose that everyone else is having an easy time, skating through life, and we are the only ones burdened with pain and sadness. Every human being is tested. Every human being suffers. That is the nature of life. Life offers us happiness and pain; joy and suffering; peace and conflict. That is the common experience of every human being since Adam and Hawa, even the Prophets (peace be upon them all), in fact especially the Prophets and the righteous.

Allah says,

"And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient,

Who, when disaster strikes them, say, 'Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return.'

Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided."

(2:155-157)

In one verse of the Quraan Allah informs humankind,

"And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)." (Surah Adh-Dhariyat Verse 56)

Hardship is a part of life. It can be seen as a test, to see which way we will turn. So the questions we should be asking are:

* How can I respond to this situation in the best way, to show Allah that I recognize all the blessings in my life, and I am patient with my trials?

* How can I turn to Allah at this time, to seek strength and comfort from Him?

* How can I use all the faculties and gifts that Allah has given me to find a solution to this problem, even one that does not seem obvious?

* What do I have in my life that is good, that I can find happiness in, and be grateful for?

* How can I learn from this test, so that I come out of it a wiser and stronger human being and believer?

Suicide is a great sin

Suicide is one of the great sins in Islam. Allah says explicitly in the Quran,

"And do not kill yourselves. Surely, Allah is Most Merciful to you." (Surah An-Nisa Verse 29)

In another verse of the Quaan, Allah says:

"And do not throw yourselves in destruction." (Surah Al-Baqarah Verse 195)

In a hadith, the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) described the people who commit suicide as being in Hell, forced to commit their method of suicide again and again.

Actually, something occurs to me about this. In life, when we make mistakes we have the opportunity to learn from them. In the process we grow spiritually, and we find a better way. Learning from mistakes is a vital part of our earthly experience.

When you commit suicide, you cut this process short. Suicide itself is the greatest mistake, but because it ends your earthly life, there is no opportunity to learn from it, no chance to grow spiritually, no way to do better next time.

The time of our life's ending is determined by Allah, and is part of our Qadr. It's not up to us to end it. Doing so would be like saying to Allah, "I refuse this gift of Yours, and I deny Your right of giving and taking life." A person who commits suicide claims for himself one of the rights of Allah, which is the ending of life.

That's why Allah says in a Hadith Qudsi, speaking of the one who commits suicide: “My servant has precipitated My will with regard to himself! Therefore, I am forbidding him entry into heaven.”

Please note however that this applies to someone who is sane and in control of his faculties. Allah may deny him Paradise if he commits suicide.

As for someone who is mentally unstable or insane, Adil Salahi says:

"A person who commits suicide as a result of a mental disorder like depression or some other severe form of anxiety is not in full control of his senses. We cannot say how God will judge such a person, but we trust to God’s justice, because He does not deal unfairly with anyone. We pray for the person concerned, and request God to forgive him. When a man committed suicide during the Prophet’s lifetime, the Prophet was distressed. He did not perform the janazah prayer for the deceased, but he ordered his companions to do it. When they did, they prayed for the man and requested God’s forgiveness for him. This shows that the Prophet did not exclude the possibility of his being forgiven by God."

Life is short enough

Life is short enough already! The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said that he was in this world like a rider who stopped to rest in the shade of a tree, then went on and left it behind.

We are like the flowers that bloom when the spring rain falls, then die. Our lives are that short, that quickly over. How many thousands of generations have passed before us, and where are they now? Do you see any sign of them, except for some old buildings falling down? Thousands of generations, gone like dust.

With life so short, it is precious. It's a chance to please Allah and do good deeds, and earn our spot in Jannah, Insha'Allah. No need to end our own lives and speed our way to the punishment of Hell. It's better to do whatever we have to do in order to change our lives. Even if we have to make drastic changes, isn't it better to live, and see another sunrise, and have hope?

Flower reflected in a drop of water

Life is precious and rare

Life is precious and is a trust

Every breath that you take is worth more than a precious gem. Every single moment of life, as your heart pumps and your blood flows, is worth more than all the world and everything in it, because if life is lost then what is the world? No treasury of any King, no vast estate of any Sultan, no great palace of stone and gold, is worth more than one single moment of your life.

Out of all the bounties Allah has bestowed upon human beings, the most precious is the gift of life. This precious gift is given to us in trust. It is not our personal possession or our personal property. We are trustees. Because we are trustees we should utilise each and every moment of our lives in the paths that please Allah.

Suicide hurts the people you love

People who contemplate suicide sometimes think their family members will be better off without them. "I'm only dragging them down," you might think. "They'll be happier when I'm gone." Or, "They don't love me. They won't even miss me."

You're wrong. That's just your depression talking. I guarantee you that no matter what your situation is in life, and no matter how bad your relationship with your family might be, your suicide will devastate them. Family survivors often feel depression, guilt, anger and confusion. Sometimes they feel like failures for not seeing the impending suicide and stopping it.

Worst of all, suicide can be contagious. It's well known that family survivors of a suicide have a much greater chance of committing suicide themselves. Imagine your child one day committing suicide, or a niece or nephew, or even a friend. I know you don't want that.

There are other options

Anyone who commits suicide feels there are no other options.

My friend, there are always other options. They might be extreme options, or they might be simple avenues you have not considered. When you're depressed, your vision narrows and you don't see possible solutions.

In Islam we have many wonderful tools for changing our lives and renewing our commitment to faith. We have Tawbah (repentance) that can be performed anytime; the daily cleansing of Salat; the powerful purification of Ramadan; the good feeling and reward that comes from giving Zakat and Sadaqah (charity) to those who are less fortunate; and the life-changing spiritual renewal of the Hajj.

Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala does not restrict His interaction with humanity to making rules and punishing sinners. Allah is there at any time to hear our prayers, to offer us forgiveness and guidance, and to help us. When we have problems in life, we must turn to Allah and seek solace. Allah will help us and give us the strength and peace we need.

There is a Way Forward

When you don't see a way out of your problems, know and have faith that Allah does!

  • Allah's knowledge is infinitely beyond yours. You don't know if there's a way out, but Allah does.
  • Allah's power is unlimited. Maybe you cannot make your own way out, but He can make one for you.
  • Allah's vision is far greater than yours. You cannot see the way forward, but Allah can.

When you think you are in a locked room with no way out, Allah can open a door in a way you never expected. I have seen it in my own life many times. Be patient, trust and have faith, and keep on working in your own way to discover whatever opportunities you can.

Beyond that, there are changes we can make to our lives that will help us to see the way forward. Rather than take a drastic step that can never be undone, please go through the following steps that I have outlined:

8-Point Plan for Change

Dear brothers and sisters, I hope you have understood that before anything else, you must put away the idea of suicide. That is not our way as Muslims. There are other ways to deal with your problems. As Muslims we have many resources and solutions to our problems.

I will lay out a specific plan for you to follow in order to refresh your heart and renew your faith:

1. Tawbah

Yes, you have committed sins, just like every single human being on the face of the earth, except for the Prophets and Messengers. But we Muslims have a great gift, which is that we can cleanse ourselves through Tawbah. You must stop committing the sin right away, ask Allah for forgiveness, and resolve firmly not to do it again.

2. Salat and Dua'

Start doing your prayers. If you can't manage it five times a day, do as many as you can. If you don't know how to do the salat, get a religious brother or sister to teach you. Don't worry right now about learning every aspect of Islam. Just focus on salat. Imagine that Allah is in front of you, and ask Him for forgiveness. Remember that the salat is a river in which you bathe five times every day, and it washes away your sins.

Share your burdens with Allah. Ask Him to help you and make your life easier. The Quran says, "Whoever is conscious of Allah, Allah makes for him a way out, and provides for him from a direction he does not expect." Allah can help you solve your problems and find your way to a better life.

See this page on our website: Dua' for anxiety and stress

3. Ramadan

Start getting yourself ready mentally and spiritually for Ramadan. It's never more than 11 months away, and never too early to begin preparing for it. Think of it as an opportunity to cleanse your soul and strengthen your spirit. Make a plan to spend your Ramadan as much as possible around people of strong faith who will support you.

4. Change your self-image

One young lady, who had committed some sins, wrote to me and said about herself, "I'm a wreck, a shame to society, I hate my life..." This kind of thinking is common in people who have suicidal thoughts. To change your life, indeed to save your life, you must change the way you think about yourself. When you tell yourself that you are a mess, a shame, etc, you are creating a destructive self-image that stops you from changing.

Try this: anytime you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, I want you to push the negative thoughts away and instead repeat these self-affirmations (write them down if necessary and carry them with you). I made up these affirmations based on Islamic principles. I have used them in the past for myself, and I have found them to be very effective. You can use these, or you can write similar affirmations of your own according to your needs:

  1. I am a Muslim. Islam is my faith and my cherished way of life. I choose Islam because it is beautiful and true. (You can also say the shahadah here).
  2. I am a believer in Allah (a mu'min). Allah is my guide and the One in whom I trust. (At this point you can praise Allah further and ask Him for strength and guidance).
  3. I am a good and worthwhile person. I have many good qualities, ma-sha-Allah. (At this point, name some of your good qualities).
  4. I have the power to change my life for the better, with Allah's help.
  5. I thank Allah for all the blessings in my life. (At this point, name some of the blessings in your life and thank Allah for each one).

Say these affirmations out loud at least once every day, and if you can do them twice a day (once in the morning and once at night) that's even better. Insert your name after you say "I", so for example, if you name is Fatima, you would say, "I, Fatimah, am a Muslim." Same for all the other points. Say them out loud, and mention your name.

Regarding point number three, some people might say, "But I have no good qualities." That's nonsense. Everyone has good qualities. Maybe you're a loyal friend, maybe you're kind to animals, maybe you're a good cook or a good writer. The point is to always find something good to say about yourself.

Regarding point number five, the blessings that you name in your life could be big or small: good health, food to eat, the sunshine on your face, and of course Islam itself is the biggest blessing of all.

Perhaps this sounds like some kind of charm, but it's not. It's a way of changing your self-image by programming your subconscious with the beliefs that you want to have about yourself.

5. Change your friends

This is important. If you've been living a sinful lifestyle, then you have to stop hanging around the friends that you drink with, or do drugs with, or the boyfriend/girlfriend that you committed zina (fornication) with. You must cut off all contact with them. Even if you think that you can be around them but resist what they are doing, the problem is that one thing can lead to another. It will be difficult to change your life if you are still surrounded by people who live a sinful lifestyle.

If you know any brothers and sisters who are religious and supportive, get to know them and spend your time with them as much as possible. Get involved in a Muslim youth group, or volunteer with an Islamic organization, go to the masjid, get yourself a halal hobby to occupy your time and give yourself something to focus on (martial arts or other sports, chess club, computer club, learning a new language, volunteer with a non-profit organization, etc).

6. Counseling

You need to see a counselor or therapist and talk out some of the feelings you are having. This will help you. If you are a student try your student health clinic, they always have a counselor on staff. If you are not a student you can try your public health clinic. If you can find a Muslim counselor, that would be great. A certified Muslim counselor would be ideal, but a non-Muslim would be fine also.

7. Find something that gives you joy

I touched on this earlier. You must find something that gives you joy and pleasure in life, and devote yourself to it. Get out of the house and become part of something. If you don't have a job, then do volunteer work. The writer of one of our sister websites, TeenPerspectives.com, volunteered for years at a local hospital and she found it very rewarding.

Get involved in a sport, or start a blog, take some college classes, or write poetry. There must be something good and halal in life that gives you pleasure. Find that thing and amplify it.

8. Medication if ncessary

I'm hesitant to add this point, because I think people in the West rely far too often on medication as a way to address problems that are actually spiritual in nature. If your depression is something that you've experienced only recently as a result of your life choices, then the previous six points will be enough for you and you do not need any medication.

However, if your depression has been a long-term thing (months or years), and doesn't seem related to your life circumstances, then it's possible that you are clinically depressed and you may benefit from a depression medication. Your counselor or physician should be qualified to assess this and refer you to someone if necessary.

My Own Experience

In 2008 and 2009 I went through a few experiences that devastated me emotionally. I was plunged into the deepest depression of my life. I couldn't work, and had trouble focusing on anything. I used to do a lot of driving back then, and at times - when I was alone in the car - I would imagine accelerating to a high speed and then crashing the car into a tree or light pole.

I remember one night I was having dinner with my daughter, who was only three years old at the time. I was trying to smile for her and not show my inner turmoil. But she looked up at me and said, "You seem sad, Baba." Tears began rolling down my cheeks and I said, "Yes, I am, but not because of you. You make me very happy."

There were four things that saved me, and eventually brought me out of my depression:

  1. Allah. In my heart of hearts, I knew that Allah would never abandon me. I could not see the way forward, but I trusted that Allah would provide it. Also, I feared His punishment if I were to take my own life.
  2. My daughter. I could never do anything to hurt her. She needs me. She is more important to me than my own life.
  3. Martial arts. This is my thing. I train in martial arts every day. The activity, the motion, keeps me emotionally stable. When I'm training, I forget everything else. It also gets me out of the house, and connects me to other people.
  4. Affirmations. As I've described above, I wrote a set of affirmations and read them every day. They helped to remind me of who I was, and

I'm not comparing myself to anyone else. I'm fortunate, for example, that I don't suffer from a mental illness like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Everyone's life is different. Everyone has their own set of circumstances to deal with. You must find the things that have meaning to you, and can give you hope, or at least distract you for a while, until the pain of your situation lessens, or the problem itself is resolved.

I pray for you and I wish you the best. If anything I wrote here seemed hurtful or unkind, I apologize. It's not always easy to find the right words to comfort someone who is suffering. All I can tell you is that I care.

O Allah, we hope for Your mercy, so leave us not to ourselves even for as little as the blink of an eye, and set right all our affairs, there is no God but You!

- a dua of the Prophet (pbuh)

By the time!
Indeed humankind is in loss;
Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.

- Quran, Surat Al-Asr

Also see some of the other questions and answers that have dealt with the subject of suicide:

429 Responses »

  1. Thank you so much for writing this entry. I just discovered your website and my heart goes out to the author of this particular entry. I had suicidal thoughts about a month ago and had contacted the samaritans group. I wish I had come upon this website then. It will have surely helped. Though I feel better now, I cannot guarantee how long this good feeling will last. Please keep me in your prayers. All the best.

  2. You are welcome, Farah. I am the author and I am glad that it helped you in some way. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time. I will indeed mention you in my dua', Insha'Allah.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Asalamalikum warahmatulahi wabarakatahu

      Brother wael, due to some thnings my post is not getting submitted
      I am going through a very hard time and I don't know what do to how to deal with my life
      I request you to help me anyway you can please
      I don't know what to do? The thing I do is only cry :'(
      I hope u take out your time and help me some how

      • iamlost, we don't have any posts submitted by you. Make sure you are logged in, and submit your post, and we'll try to help you Insha'Allah.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • The post isn't getting typed and I am logged
          But evrything seems to fail
          I realy need any help day by day am loosing hope :'(
          I am dyingly waiting for you to help me out
          The more it seems to fail and I feel i am close to death :'(
          Please brother wael help me

          • IAMLOST,

            God helps those who help themselves.

            Make an effort and pray! You will see the difference.

        • Iamlost, please pick up the phone and call a suicide hotline where you can directly speak to someone. I do not know you, yet I worry for you. This is a great site, but it seems you need immediate assistance and not the frustration of whether or not your .message was published. Brother, be strong. Nothing in the world is worth ending your precious life. Allah loves you. But you need to find it in you to love yourself. Good luck to you. I am a stranger, but I care.

  3. Nice article, i cried a couple of times while reading it as i feel like suicide and wanted to know the consequences.

    The thing is i have mental health problems because when i was younger i abused drugs alot and now i have sever anxiety and mental problems directly as a result. Will my sins still be forgiven and does god feel sorry for me? Because i have struggled alot for a long time now and i have changed my lifestyle , ive done number 5 of you rules a long time ago but im still suffering very badly and feel like ending when i wake up and especaily at night time and sometimes during the day.

    • Ibo, of course Allah will still forgive your sins, and He still cares about you. Allah loves his servants and He does not want you to be in pain.

      You need to start seeing a therapist once or twice a week to talk about your problems. It may not seem to you like talking will help, but believe me it will.

      You said you liked my article. Please read it again, and don't even think about hurting yourself. I will mention you in my dua' during these special days of Ramadan.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Ibo - Assalaamalaikum...May this response finds you in good health and well-being...

      Please always remember Allah loves you and is very forgiving. Please don't think of hurting yourself or thinking that life is here to make you sad. When you see a sunny day give thanks to Allah that you are always to see the sun, the blue skies, the trees and light!!!! Be happy that you are able to see all of Allah's blessings! Seek a therapist like Brother Wael suggested. Dealing with mental illness is very hard and needs to be dealt by a professional.

      Have your health provider check your medications if you are taking any and see if maybe they are causing anxiety, depression, etc.

      If you need a friend I'm here for you.

      Maryam

  4. I disliked mullas bcoz the first person who taught me the quran used to touch my private parts while i read. This has happend w many uncles/servants. When i wud tell my mother she accused me of lying. I never prayed out of anger. I turned to quran at the age of 27 after the birth of my daughter,now i pray 5 times too.i work in a different state than where my mother lives. she wants to keep my 2yr daughter.since she was brought up by servants she leaves my daughter w the servants unless she feels like playing. She had an affair,i was 14 during which i supported her, but when she wanted her b/f to come home and cry n scream at me to go out n wait in the buildings' stairs. Irony is she prays regularly, but lies and was fired from her job for theft. i fear for my child,but if i refuse she curses me.i knw islam holds mothers' as high position,but i dont knw what to do.

    • Saleha, Asalaamualaykum,

      I am extremely sorry to hear of the way you were treated by the 'mullas'. It is disgusting that these people abuse their position of authority. Alhumdulillah you have risen above this and have turned to Allah. Keep striving this way dear Sister.

      I was a little confused as to why your 2 year old daughter lives with your mother? Saleha, after the circumstances you have described, I would advise you to immediately bring your daughter back to live with you and never leave her alone with your mother. You are very right, the mother's position is very high in Islam; but from what you say, your mother is abusing her position and is also emotionally black mailing you. It must be difficult listening to your mother cursing you, but the curses are just 'empty words'; nothing more. Allah can see what is going on here; your mother is wrong, maybe even mentally ill or spritually ill, but YOU need to PROTECT YOUR DAUGTER.

      If you live in a different state, it should be somewhat easier, should it not? Normally, a young child lives with her mother, so why is it any different for your daughter? YOU are a MOTHER aswell now; your first responsibility is towards YOUR CHILD. If you do not stand up and take some positive action here, your daughter could end up suffering the same damage and SEXUAL ABUSE that you did, and what will be worse is that you knew the risk.

      It would be good for you to seek some counselling to help you deal with the sexual abuse you have suffered and also to help you get out of this psychological control your mother has over you. You are a grown woman and have your own daughter. Do not not let these circumstances spoil your and daughter's future. You did not mention your husband, I hope he is supporting you in all this. Do write again, if you need/want to inshAllah.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Aslaamualikum i am 17 years old and i am having sucidel and deppression problems my parents forced me for the engajment with my cosiun and i am not happy with this i told my parents but they didnot listen to me...
        whenever i try to explain then my dad gets angry and my mother blood pressure starts getting low i dont want to hurt them ofcorse they are trying to do good for me but i am not satisfied they didnot asked me and confiremd the engagment...
        now its been over an year and i started developing sucidel thoughts i cut myself take pills and do alot of selfharm with myself i don't know what to do i am getting more and more sucidel nothing can change now i am in this forever i will pretend for my family hapiness but inside i dont know i can cut myself to deep to bleed till death...
        even i have nightmares in which i am crying badly which triggers me every day i am faking smile for my parents but now i pray to die please help i cant talk to any of my friends or famly they cant get me out of this they will judge me and do no good to help me
        i love my God i dont want to make him angry by killing myself i pray to him for me to die plese dont judge me i have always been depress for being bullied at school at very young age and then a bad break up i seek forgiveness from Allah
        Please give me an advice or give me an ayat which control my heart and change my mind to make every one happy and dont tell me to get a theripst cause i cant tell my famly of what i am going through ....God bless u

        • Assalam O Alaikum Sana,
          Please don't even think of suicide, it is haram and you are denying the very basic tannent of our faith which is "Faith in Allah". What does that mean? It means that Allah (swt) listens to us and sees our problems; He (swt) provides us with the means to get through successfully from the tests HE (swt) puts us through.
          You should remember that no one can ever force you to marry someone who you are not attracted to, not satisfied with their personality, deen or other traits or simply any other reason. A lot of brothers and sisters go through this and you must remember that Allah (swt) will show you a way if only you beg to him, plead with him and finally stand your ground. Be respectful but don't let your parents blackmail you emotionally into marriage, stand your ground. Try to convince them, show them proof from Quran and Sunnah, speak to your local imam to have a word with your parents or someone who is good in deen.
          Browse through our database and you will come across a lot of such cases where our readers/editors have advised them how to deal with this situation. If you are still not satisfied then please log in and submit your question as a separate post. Their is a link on the front page on how to submit a question.
          May Allah (swt) guide you along the right path. Amin.

          Muhammad,
          Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

    • Dear Saleha,
      I know you feel this way because no matter how bad our parents hurt us we love them unconditionally.
      But now that you have a daughter, and i dont know whether you are married but if you are, you should know that your jannah is no longer under your parents feet, i dont mean disrepect them but rather you have to still respect them.But because of the background that you gave about your mother, you shouldn`t leave your daughter with her because now your responsbility is to your daughter. your mother may want to curse you but inshaallah Allah will not let that curse reach you because you have done nothing wrong. you are a mother now and now your children are your responsbility and you will be held accountable for how they were brought up on the day of judgement. Do you think that leaving them with your mother is the best thing to do for them in terms of how it wil affect their upbringing? My advice is to tell your mother in a respectable and kind manner that you cannot leave your child with her, probably she could come to visit you and your child or you could take your child to her place on holiday while you are there inorder to supervise and see that nothing innapropriate happens to them.
      I pray all goes well with you.
      Shaaneed

  5. hi

    My brother committed suicide few years back. Obviously he was confused and not steady in mind. We're muslims. According to everything & Islam would you say his in hell now?

    thnx

    • Sonya, As-salamu alaykum. I'm very sorry to hear about your brother. May Allah comfort you and your family and protect you from any further evil.

      We cannot answer your question. Only Allah knows the judgment of each human being. But I can give you some information about Islamic beliefs.

      The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him said), "If anybody comes on the Day of Resurrection who has said: La ilaha illallah (there is no God but Allah), sincerely, with the intention to win Allah's Pleasure, Allah will make the Hell-Fire forbidden for him." (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 76, Number 431)

      The key word in this hadith is "sincerely". Committing a major sin, such as suicide, violates the sincerity and right of the shahadah. A Muslim who commits such major sins could indeed end up in Hell. That's only for Allah to judge.

      But remember that Allah is Merciful, He loves to forgive. If your brother was a good person and had other good deeds, Allah may wipe out his sins and forgive him, and admit him to Paradise. There are many, many levels of Paradise, so someone who was weaker in his faith may end up in the lower levels of Paradise, while someone who was very strong would be in the higher levels. But even the lowest level of Paradise is a place of bliss and joy.

      Also keep in mind that Hell is not eternal for Muslims. The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has said that whoever has faith equal even to a mustard seed, would eventually enter Paradise.

      Anas reported, "Muhammad (pbuh) talked to us saying, ‘On the Day of Resurrection the people will surge with each other like waves, and then they will come to Adam and say, ‘Please intercede for us with your Lord.’… They would come to me and I would say, ‘I am for that.’ Then I will ask for my Lord's permission, and it will be given, and then He will inspire me to praise Him with such praises as I do not know now. So I will praise Him with those praises and will fall down, prostrate before Him. Then it will be said, ‘O Muhammad, raise your head and speak, for you will be listened to; and ask, for your will be granted (your request); and intercede, for your intercession will be accepted.’ I will say, ‘O Lord, my followers! My followers!’ And then it will be said, ‘Go and take out of Hell (Fire) all those who have faith in their hearts equal to the weight of a barley grain.’

      The prophet added, "I then return for a fourth time and praise Him similarly and prostrate before Him. He asks me the same as he did, ‘O Muhammad, raise your head and speak, for you will be listened to; and ask, for you will be granted (your request): and intercede, for your intercession will be accepted.’ I will say, ‘O Lord, allow me to intercede for whoever said, "None has the right to be worshiped except Allah." Then Allah will say, ‘By my Power, and my Majesty, and by My Supremacy, and by My Greatness, I will take out of Hell (Fire) whoever said: 'None has the right to be worshipped except Allah.’" (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 9, Book 93, Number 601)

      So these hadith tell us that the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) will intercede for all Muslims, and will not stop doing so until anyone who said, "La ilaha il-Allah" has come out of Hell.

      I feel I have to insert a warning, however, and remind people that even one second in Hell is not a small matter. No one should think, "Well, even if I go to Hell I will come out." It is the worst of torments, terrible and fierce. There is a hadith narrated by Anas bin Malik:

      The Prophet said, "Some people will come out of the Fire after they have received a touch of the Fire, changing their color, and they will enter Paradise, and the people of Paradise will name them 'Al-Jahannamiyin (the people of Hell)." (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 76, Number 564)

      I hope all of this information will be some comfort to you. It may be that Allah has forgiven your brother. Only Allah knows. What we know for sure is that Allah is Forgiving and Merciful, and Just.

      • Wael,

        That was a beautifully balanced reply masha'Allah.

        SisterZ

      • A wonderful reply considering the feelings a family will hv for their son who had a bad death.Mashallah.....!!! I appreciate u...may u be blessed by Allah for comforting so many people by getting into their problems. All the very best !!!

  6. As-salamu alaykum. I speak french more. This is my first year in the U.S.A.
    In the name of Allah, the most merciful, the most grateful.
    I am very happy to shear my story with you and to reveal the great miracle Allah has done for me.
    I were fainting for 4 years. Last year was the fourth years of my illness and I have been admit at reading mental hospital for two months. I thought it was a medical problem but the medication didn't help me. It was just increasing my illness by giving me these dangerous problems:
    Trouble to:
    -see
    -Talk
    -Eat
    -walk
    -Fol my fingers and toes
    -I start loosing my memory
    -My body was moving like the vibration of phone.
    Even the Doctors were confused. They never knew what was causing It, they were just guessing. They said that If I stop taking those dangerous medecine I will have a thought of suicide because the dangerous medecine is use to my system but the powerful God did not agree.
    when I were at the hospital, I were asking my God to let me stay at the hospital and take those medication If that can help me In this world and the hereafter, that I'm ready to bear everything for him no matter how the medication bother me and my God answers my prayers. I didnt faint for some days, In the same week I leave the hospital.
    I have been so sad and suffering as you read. My feelings never went trough until I start praying regularly with conviction, i going at the mosque, they were praying for me there too. I were doing dua'u for myself, waking up at night and pray. Can you Imagine? In only one month everything disappears like a miracle. It was the miracle of Allah. An unexpected miracle god has done for me. A illness of 4 years disappear In only one month when everybody was hopeless. Now look at me today. So please my Dear Brothers and Sisters let all bygones be bygones what Allah has predestined for you shall see It, being sad or depressed will not change nothing and Allah does everything for a good reason which can be good for us In this world or the hereafter so dont be sad. Always hope, believe In Allah, pray like you are having the answer right now until you see the result you are waiting for, because any Doctors, therapists, and no one else can help you. How could a person helps you when he can't solve his own problems? Only Allah can help you, only Allah will always be there for you, will never let you down no matter what happen to your life so dont feel alone. Keep worshiping Allah. ( Islam is the cure ) . This is a big message for you.

  7. I divorced my husband almost two years ago while pregnant with my second child after he divorced me through sms. We fought because his siblings and mother harassed me, and want my ex husband to pay for their expenses while expecting me to financed everything in my little family. And I still feel the pain and sadness until now. I can't think properly, I talk to my self when I thought no one was watching, I have a hard time sleeping at night and yet a hard time staying awake during the day. At work I basically just try to do anything that I'm still able to do. I hate Allah for what happenned to me. I stopped praying altogether because I thought Allah never answered my prayers and did not help me when I begged. I think about killing myself, but I know Allah will put me in hell if I do. I tried to act happy and normal around my two children, and cried at night when I am alone.

    I am trying to go back to Allah and I hope Allah forgives me. I know Allah is still taking care of me no matter what I think about Allah. Surprisingly, I can still keep my job, and also have promotions and a few offers from other companies. My two babies are also healthy and happy. However, I'm suffering from flu for almost a year, I think that's how negative thinking can negatively affect your body.

    I am trying to stand up and move on. I am trying to go back to Allah. And this great article also helps. I'm really glad I ran into this site. Alhamdulillah.

    • As-salamu alaykum sister jazebie. I'm glad this website has helped you Alhamdulillah. You must have a good opinion of Allah. Your divorce is a result of whatever happened between you and your husband. It is not a punishment from Allah. It's a part of life.

      Sister, how could you ever hate Allah when you are surrounded by His blessings at every moment? I think sometimes we are too spoiled, and I am speaking of myself as well. We have not experienced true hardship and suffering, so when we experience a setback we become bitter and depressed. What about our Muslim brothers and sisters in Palestine who have lost entire families? And yet they go on, keeping their faith in Allah. They rebuild their demolished masjids and struggle to recover. What about the victims of the tsunamis in Indonesia, or the floods in Pakistan, who lost everything? And yet I saw photos of Pakistani men sitting on a small piece of land surrounded by water, and praying to Allah.

      I don't mean to minimize what you have experienced. I realize that your sadness is real. But sister, you have the breath in your lungs, the food on your table, a roof over your head, and two beautiful children. Do you have any idea what enormous blessings these are?

      There comes a point when you must stop the self-pity. Stand up, look around and see how blessed you are and how many opportunities you have. Realize that Allah is guiding you and loving you at every moment. Turn your face to Him in gratitude.

      You might want to read one of my recent articles:

      The Transformative Power of a Child's Love

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. As-salamu alaykum sister,
    Am so happy for your family and you. You see, I'm wright. (Allah) does everything for a good reason which can be good for us in this world or the hereafter. And he will always be there for us no matter what happen to our life. You still have your job, your children are also healthy no matter the feelings you had for (Allah) before, he didn't let you down. Please don't hate (Allah) anymore (astaghfouralayi).
    When you have negative taughts, just think about these:
    (Allah) is my one true love, the pure love to our souls so when the times gets hard, there is no way to turn, as he promise he will always be there to bless us with his love, and his mercy because as he promise he will always be there.
    He's always watching us, guiding us, and he knows what is in our little hearts.
    So when you lose your way, to (Allah) you should turn because as he promised, he will always be there.
    You can watch the rest on youtube by writing does a muslim have to be scared of anything?
    Dont miss it everyone. Its will help you (Inch Allah).
    I hope my message will benefit everyone (Inch Allah).
    I thank Allah everyday for giving me the chance to worship him everyday. I will be strong, positive, I will not worry about any aldounya stuff no matter what (Inch Allah), As long as I worship my one and true love ( Allah)
    I can do It with the help of Allah and I know that you can.

  9. I really loved the hadith in the other commont.....kinda gave me some hope. You see I have not been so dedicated to my prayers lately because my homework has been keeping me busy, and I keep making excuses for myself.....which was wrong. I am still working on praying on time......I hope I don't go back, because I feel so much better now 🙂

    Thanks for all your articles, I'm really thankful.
    Keep'em comin' !!!!

    Amna

    • Asalaamualaykum Amna,

      In the dinasaur days (haha) when I preparing for Uni exams, I made a timetable - called my action plan. I stuck to it like glue (somehow).

      I locked myself in one of our extra rooms at home to shut out any noise and took snacks in with me as though I was getting ready for hibernation. I made my notes etc and took my breaks at Salaah times. We all need breaks and reading Salaah has many health benefits too.

      It's great you're feeling better after praying Salaah, stick to it inshAllah. It'll help you organise your day!! :O)

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  10. I have a Muslim male friend, he is married I am married but neither of us are in love with our spouse. We are so much in love, we started by been friends and our love started growing now we can't live with out each other.. Our spouses found out about us, now we have to stay away from each other and is so hard not to see each other, we talk on the phone when ever possible but is not the same inside were dieing. Every time I talk to him on the phone he talks about wanting to die and for me to be happy that he will go somewhere far, the he will be in the darkness, I am afraid he hurts him self... What can I do? Please Help.

    Thank you for your help in advance.

    —Prescilla

    • Prescilla, you are both committing a serious sin and betraying your spouses. If you are so miserable with your husband then divorce him. Otherwise, cut off contact completely with this lover. This talk of suicide is just to blackmail you emotionally. I doubt very much that he will do it. Someone who cares about you would want you to be happy, rather than trying to control you and manipulate you. If he chooses to hurt himself it is his responsibility. There is nothing you can do about that.

      If you want a more detailed response or any further discussion, please log in and write your question as a separate post.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers Editor

  11. As-sala mualakum,
    May ALLAH (SWT) guide all of us by the truth, and forgive us.
    No matter how hard how our life is, let's turn to Allah and put our trust in him alone, because he's the most nearest to all. And most great. None is the supporter other than ALLAH.
    (ALLAHU AKBAR).
    (ALHAMDU-LILAHI) everyday.

  12. Sam, Asalaamualaykum,

    If you want to run away from your depression, committing suicide will only take you into eternal depression.
    Atleast while you are alive, you still have a chance to make things better, brighter and happier.

    Tell us what is causing you to feel so depressed dear brother or sister in Islam. There must be a solution to whatever is bothering you. Let us help you.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Sam,

      You want peace and serenity and you want something to make you feel better and less burdened as you are clearly depressed. So if you can make the effort to purchase and take a drug that will take your life; why not purchase and take a drug that will help to improve your life?

      Taking Nembutal will not give you the peace and serenity you are craving for. It will give you all the things you fear and dislike, because that is what hell will be and worse.

      Which country to do you live in?

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • With the name of Allah the beneficient and the merciful,

      I have so many blessings from Allah, I always thank Allah for everyting He has bestowed me. Whatever happened in my life I always thank Allah. Regarding this site, it is very helpful and you can learn good things. But i don't believe in sharing one's own difficulty with the world like this because we can't complain of Allah to anyone. There were Sahabies who lived 30 years as a blind, and they said "I have not seen the world in 30 years but thanks to Allah that i have not complained to anyone of this." Another Sahabi said regarding complaint. "Do you complain to a human being of Allah the one who does mercy to those who don't have mercy on you." Meaning we can't complain to anyone about Allah but to Allah himself, and all we have to do is pray to Allah that he makes us 'thankful' than being those who have 'patience'. Still it doesn't mean if calamity falls on us we have to resort to patience, as it is mention "To Him we belong and to Him we return."

      So basically this site is helpful in many regards,but, instead of writting comments we should offer atleast two ruku salah and thank Allah for His blessings and ask for His forgiveness. And always seek help from Salah and Dua 🙂

      Please do pray for me too.

  13. Sam,

    I have already contacted you by email. If you have not received it, it may have gone through to your junk box. So do check that.

    I await your reply inshaAllah.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  14. Salaam Sam,

    Sam you are suffering from an illness called depression. It is a legitimate, chemical, biological illness which is causing you to have these feelings. In the same way that an illness can give you a rash, or a temperature - depression is an illness that will give you these thoughts and this feelings.

    So first and foremost I ask you to acknowledge that you are suffering from an illness that is causing you to have these thoughts and feelings. Your thoughts and feelings are symptoms of you illness and not the truth or the reality of your life.

    Illness have symptoms and they also have remedies. So the next thing I would like for you to acknowledge is that depression has a remedy and a treatment. What this means for you is that you can stop feeling this way if you seek a remedy for your illness.

    The next thing I want you to know is that you are not alone. In the UK 1 in every 3 people will suffer from depression at some stage in their lives. Depression is an illness which disables a person's ability to function normally and enjoy things. Depression is experienced as a feeling of extreme fatigue, loneliness, sadness and despair to the extent that the person suffering feels like they cannot sustain the emotional pain any longer and is driven to suicide. When depression is treated, these feelings go away and the person who is suffering recovers from this emotional torture.

    Depression can be caused by psychological process (thoughts, and life events) or by chemicals in the brain. It can be caused by over active lymph nodes or under active lymph nodes. It can be diet, or stress. There are many reasons that a person can suffer from depression, and many remedies to treat it.

    I would like you to therefore acknowledge that you need to seek treatment - not death, to recover from these thoughts and feelings.

    Sam, if you can let me know where you are located (UK, USA?) then we can put you in touch with an organisation that can help you take the first steps that you need to get on the road to recovery. It makes no sense at all to try and cope with these thoughts and feelings by yourself. Depression is a highly studied, common illness that can be treated - so please do not think that the only way out is death. This is not true.

    Please keep talking to us, we are here for you and we want you to feel better and we want you to recover from this terrible illness which is a daily torture for you. I understand what you are feeling, and I want you to stick with us so that we can help you to get better.

    Peace,
    Leyla
    Editor, Islamic Answers

    • Sam, I know where you are. But I can't help you if you don't help yourself. That's the key to recovery: you have to want to get there. You have to find some determination in yourself somewhere, and take some action.

      I've lost 3 people who are close to me to suicide caused by depression, and have personally known many more people who have followed that road and I cannot express the devastation that it caused to the lives around them.

      At a counselling organisation I worked for, we saw 25 suicidal people each week who came to us in desperation - literally on the verge of taking that last step. I have watched them all recover - we did not lose a single one of them.

      So Sam, I am not saying "feel better" words - I am speaking to you with absolute conviction, knowledge and experience.

      Ultimately, you need to take the responsibility - I can't talk you into it - it's all up to you.

      You have a choice to make - and I hope and pray that you make the right one.

      Peace,

      Leyla
      Editor,Islamic Answers

  15. As-sala mualakum Sam,
    With the name of God the most great, the most merciful.
    Oh Sam!
    I wanted you to know that I understand you, and I shear your pain. When I was seek, I was very very depressed, and hopeless because I had done all my best at time to get better, and seek help to everyone but It doesn't work. I felt that I dont deserve to leave in this world, I were always praying to sleep so that I cant think of my negative thinking, I wasn't enjoying anything, I was scared of people, more white people. I felt guilty of everything, and think that when I died I will go to hell because God is Angry about my deeds.
    I taught my illness was a medical problem but it wasn't, I have been admit at reading hospital for 2 month, alone without no parents, or friends. I was on medication but they were just making it worst over, and over again. Then I have decided with all my heart to commit suicide out of anxiety, fairness of hell-fire but I was wrong God was there for me. I can't explain what was happening to me. I don't want to talk about it no-more in my life but I will tell you for the preciousness of your life. ( I was always thinking, and feeling that I'm having sex with Mens. Every time that was coming in my image, even when I was eating, praying, everything. I was scared about it).
    I was telling myself that why is this happening to me, I'm virgin, I've never had a boyfriend in my life, I don't go at the Club like many girls so why me, when many people are doing bad stuff without suffering like me. God most be angry. Everyone was hopeless too. I was wrong because since I started reading the Coran with conviction everything disappear in only one month. I was wrong again because I was exposing my body, I wasn't strong enough, I wasn't satisfy about what I have, I was admiring people. But God didn't look up to that he makes my illness heal by making me positive no matter what, proud of what I'm, respecting my womanhood, controling my tongue. God gave me strong faith. That's why I'm proud of all what has been happening to me. And I realize that God Does everything for a good reason with can benifit us in this life or the hereafter with is eternal.
    "Whenever Allah wills good for his slave, he hastens to punish him in this life, and when he wills evil for his slave he withholds punishing him for his sins until he comes before him on the day of judment."
    " The greatness of the reward is tied to the greatness of trial. When Allah loves a people, He puts them to the trial." That is true becauce I wasn't strong enough when I was healthy but since I have got seek, and got heal on january/ 8/10 when something I dislike happen to me, I compare it to my pass, and try to not dwell on it because I have been very sad, and god help me. january /8/ 2011 will be my first year without fainting after 4 years of illness. Can you imagine? Now all I want is to worshipped God by the best manner, alone in my house, praying with silence. No music satanique , no lie, no tv, no bothering someone. I don't want to do all what Allah dislike, and do what he loves. You see is normal to think being alone without trying to commit suicide. Don't feel different from other people. We are all dust.
    So please don't worry, God can change everything in your life in 1second. You are not alone, your creator Allah is there for you. As he promise, and to him we all will return so please, I'm crying don't commit suicide. I know that when someone is sad, and hopeless. Its will be had for that person to understand. Like when I was hopeless, helpless by human, and sad. But I hope that this will help you, and change your ideas. I swear to Allah during december, more last night, and today I was just crying, and thinking about all the goodness God has done to me. And trying to change some of my bad character to good one. Only to please Allah, the reason why I'm here today. And my mind come to my yahoo email. And I saw this sms nearly when I was thinking of Allah. that's mean so many things, and signs to you, and me.
    Please I beg you for Allah the creator of you, and me. The creator of the whole universe, and our reason to be. Don't commit suicide. Life will soon give you a smile. I promise you that Allah is there for you, and If you beg him to help you with conviction. He will help you, as he promise. Suicide will not change nothing will just make Allah angry with you for denying his decreed. Allah our reason to be forbid us to deny qadar (divine decree) ." Whoever is acceptant of Allah decree will have Allah's acceptance and whoevewr is displeased AND unacceptant with it will gain Allah's displeasure" that's why he show to us the right way which is his way eternel joy, and peace. And the bad way which is the satan's way our enemy. So let's chose the best way please dear don't the satan your enemy have control over you. Follow Islam, and dwell on it for your eternal peace. May Allah changer of the hearts, guide you in Islam.

  16. (Laa 'ilaaha illallaah). There is none worthy of worship but Allah.
    (Subhaanalaahi, walhamdu lilaahi, wa laa ilaaha 'illallaahu, wallaahu'akbar).
    Glory is to Allah, and praise is to Allah, and there is none worthy of worship but Allah, and Allah is the most great.
    (Laa 'ilaaha 'illallaahu, wahdahu laa shareeka lahu, lahul-mulku wa lahul-hamdu wa huwa alaa kulli shay'in qadeer).
    None has the right to be worshipped but Allah alone, Who has no partner. His is the dominion and his is the praise, and he is able to do all things.
    Oh ALLAH (SWT)! Thank you for answering our prayers. You are the best.
    Dear Sam, I'm very proud of you, and your understanding. I'm happy again much more. Allah is the greatest.
    God loves you so much, that's why he's guiding by the truth, and that's why he makes you talk about it without commiting it. I'm surpassed. I'm crying with joy, and another new hope in my life.
    I wanted you to know that you are a very brave heart human being, you are understanding, emotional, caring, noble, and innocent. You can improve the world by being an example to others who are depressed, and suffering because you understand me, and my pain. You are happy I got away from mi illness. You are aware of your mistakes, and realize that God is always there for you. That's is a great emotions, feelings, caring, understanding, gratefulness, awareness. And if you dont feel pain, or have any emotions, you couldn't understand this message, be aware of your mistakes, understand my pain, and recognize the blessings God has been giving you, so please stop blaming yourself you are nice, grateful, and have all the best qualities.
    I hope you give up on that definitely, and you are repenting to God for forgiveness, and asking Him to guide you, and give you strong Imaan. ( Don't forget to always repeat in your heart, even when you are talking, walking, eating, thinking, anything say: ALLAH GUIDE ME. And just put in your mind that you are not guiding yourself, Allah the owner of your soul is the one Who is guiding you. And the negatives thinking is Satan your enemy. Please just try this everyday the best you can. That is what I use to do, even when I'm eating,talking, or walking, I say in my heart Allah guide me. and I feel that God is the one who is helping me to walk, eat, talk, move, everything because he's the owner of my soul. He promises me the answers of our call. That's why we don't have to doubt when we ask him for anything.
    Thank you very much for you understanding, gratefulness, and praying God for me. (Amen).
    May Allah bless you more.
    Laa 'ilaaha illallaah.

  17. With the name of God, the most great, the most merciful.
    As-salamualakum Sam,
    How are you? I hope everything is going good for you. I always check my on this site to hear from you since the january 2nd.
    May Allah protect you from all what you fear of.
    Please reply.
    I can't wait to hear from you.
    May Allah protect you from all what you feat of.
    Sincerely,

    Majula.

    • Sam,

      You are a deep thinker and have some very good ideas that you can really build on.

      Of course we also need to help 'parent's to improve their understanding. Abdul Wali wrote something very touching on a post a few days ago in reply to a sister who was asking about how to raise children.

      Please keep in touch!!!

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  18. Salaam Sam, elhamdulilah! I am overjoyed to hear that you are feeling better :0)
    Peace,
    Leyla
    Editor, Islamic Answers

  19. IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, MOST GRACIOUS, MOST MERCIFUL.

    I STARTED FAINTING AT THE END OF (NOVEMBER/20O6).
    MY ILLNESS GOT WORSE ON (2009).
    AND I STOPPED FAINTING ON (JANUARY/8/2010), WHEN EVERYONE WAS HOPELESS.

    TODAY,

    JANUARY/08/2010,
    IS MY FIRST YEAR WITHOUT FAINTING AFTER 4 YEARS OF ILLNESS BY THE GRACE OF ALLAH (SWT), WHO CREATED ME WHEN I WAS NOTHING. HE BLESS ME WITH HIS GRACE WHEN I WAS NOTHING.
    I ASK MY ALLAH TO FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT EXIST BETWEEN HE AND ME.
    NOW ALL I WANT, IS TO BE WITH ALLAH.
    SOUBHANAALLAAHI.
    WALHAMDU LILLAAH.
    WA LAA 'ILAAHA 'ILLALLAH.
    WALLAHU 'AKBAR.
    WA LAA HAWLA WA LAA QUWWATA 'ILLAA BILLAH.
    I LOVE YOU FOREVER ALLAH.
    WITHOUT ALLAH, HOW WOULD MY LIFE MEAN TO NOT KNOW THE UNSEEN, THE WORLDS BETWEEN,
    FOR ALLAH I WOULD SACRIFICE, AND GIVE MY LIFE,
    ANYTHING,
    JUST TO BE WITH YOU I PROMISE.
    YOU ARE MY ONE TRUE LOVE,
    YOU SHOWED ME THE RIGHT FROM THE WRONG, TAUGHT ME TO ENDURE, I NEED MORE THAN EVER ALLAH MY CREATOR.
    ALLAH IS MY EVERYTHING, MY REASON TO TALK, MY REASON TO SEE, MY REASON TO HEAR, AND MY REASON TO WRITE WHAT AM WRITING NOW.
    BEING OBEDIENT BY ALL THE WAY TO ALLAH IS MY PURPOSE IN LIFE, AND MISSION.
    I MUST COMPLETE MY MISSION.
    PLEASE HELP ME ALLAH TO COMPLETE IT .
    I LOVE ALLAH MORE THAN MYSELF.
    O ALLAH!
    FORGIVE ME PLEASE MY CREATOR.

  20. LAA ILAAHA ILLALAH.
    (THERE IS NONE WORTHY OF WORSHIP BUT ALLAH).

  21. IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, MOST GRACIOUS, MOST MERCIFUL.
    As-salamualakum Sam,
    I hope everything is going good for you?
    I'm much more happy to hear from you Sam.
    Thank you for your advices, understanding, and goodness.
    May ALLAH bless you, and reward you In this life, and the hereafter.
    ALLAH IS EVERYTHING, AND EVERYTHING IS ALLAH.
    LA-ILAHA ILA-LAHU.

  22. IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, MOST GRACIOUS, MOST MERCIFUL.
    I'm unique, and I"m loved.
    Thank you very much for everything Wael Abdelwagad.
    May ALLAH (SWT) Bless you, Guide you, Protect you from all what you fear of, and Reward you everyday, and erase your sins up to your last breath by giving you the peace of mind.
    (Amin, Amin, Amin).
    La-Ilaha Ila-lahu.

    • You are welcome sister Majula, and thanks so much for your comments, and "Ameen", not only for me but for all of us. I haven't commented much on this post lately but I have been reading all the comments and I am so impressed and touched by the effort that you, Leyla and SisterZ have made to reach out to those in need. Alhamdulillah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  23. As-salamualakum, Mr. Sam, and Mrs. Wael,
    WITH THE NAME OF ALLAH, MOST GRACIOUS, MOST MERCIFUL.
    Thank you very much both of you for your suggestion, and encouragements.
    I'm very impressed to see myself giving advices to people too. MACHA ALLAH.
    I forget to tell you Mr. Sam that I'm a student, and I'm 18 years old. And I dont have the ability yet to hajj, but INCH ALLAH I will look for a great Islamic Missionary school for College when I graduated on next year. If I can't find it here I will apply for a great missionary college In Saudi Arabia. Then get married, and hajj with my futur husband Inch Allah I hope so.
    Thank you very much again.
    May ALLAH reward all of you.
    LA-ILAHA ILA-LAHU.

    • Majula Diaby,

      This page is not really an appropriate place for me to laugh, but I couldnt help it as you referred to Wael as Mrs Wael. Wael is of the male species, not female.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Senior Editor

  24. Salam to everyone,

    My name is Ali, I live in Australia. I just needed or wanted help from muslim brothers and sisters to pray for my friend who is suffering from Borderline personality disorder. She is just a bit sick at the moment and i tell her she will get better but i guess i do understand her suitation. she has attempted suicide and I know Allah will forgive her, because she is nice, good hearted and very humble person. she is not muslim but i still want all the muslims here to please pray for her. i want her to see the world as it is and she should have faith in GOD and i want peace in her heart and mind. so please pray for her. Also i have strong faith in islam but i dont practice but i know in my heart that islam is the true and most peacefull religion and i will try to be a better muslim.

    Thank you
    Ali

  25. Assalamu aleikum brothers and sisters in Islam.

    Jazakallahu kheiran brother author for this I have benefited from it alhamdulillah.
    Jazakallahu kheiran again, may Allah subhanahu wata ala accept all of your good deeds
    and forgive all of your shortcomings and grant you Jannah.

    Sincerely your brother in Islam Abdullahi.

  26. As-salamualaku brothers, and sisters.

    With the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

    Don't commit suicide. Allah is the one, Allah is the one. Allah is the one.
    (Believe in Allah alone as God, and the prophet as His Messenger. Pray 5 times daily. Don't deley your prayers. Give zakat. And go to hajj if you can). Before is too late.
    Stop doubting right now. And forget about all your pain. Give oneself to the service of Allah. Then Allah will suffice you, As He promise in the Coran. Right now please. I don't want you to suffer. We are all one. This is the message I have for you.
    Remember Our prophet (saw), Then me Majula Diaby in your prayers.
    La-ilaha Ila-lahou. (There is none worthy of worship But Allah).

  27. As-salamulakum brothers and sisters,

    With the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

    I'm still here, living, and thinking of you.
    Whenever I feel sad, I think of Allah. Then you and all those who are suffering. When I think of you again I become more stronger and happy. You are special to me.
    Its a joy for me for having you in my life.
    Thank you for putting a bright spot in my life.

  28. Asalaamualaykum Sam,

    Great to hear that you are feeling better maashaAllah. May Allah keep you feeling well and close to Him always.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  29. I came across this site today, as i sit at work, no one knowing that my soul is breaking and as i read these words, my heart is aching and i can't stop crying. Who'd have thought that I, independent me, with every material need fulfilled and with one of the most successful careers in society ..would be sat here contemplating the topic of suicide.

    This phrase touched my heart:

    As far as your own existence, know that your life has meaning and purpose. Allah put you here on this earth for a reason. You are a unique person, the only one of your kind in the universe, and as such you are a treasure. Just as Allah created the stars, the oceans, and the majestic trees, He created you. In fact you dwarf them, because you are a creature of complexity and free will.

    If it seems that those around you do not value you, it may be only that they do not know how to show it. People who are raised in families that do not express love freely may be uncomfortable showing affection. But that does not mean that they do not love you and care about you deeply.

    Know, in any case, that Allah values you and cares about you.

    Thank you. I thank you for giving me a few minutes of hope. I hope i can stretch it for longer than a few minutes. Please remember me in your duas.

    • As salamu alaykum, Sister Amber,

      Please, visit IslamicSunrays, you will find very inspirational readings, masha´Allah. You are important to all of us too, Masha´Allah.

      All my Unconditional Love, Respect and Support,

      María
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Dear Sister Amber, if you would like to log in and write your question as a post, we can try to give you specific advice for your situation Insha'Allah. When you've done it, comment here and let me know and I'll move your post to the front of the queue. Make sure to provide enough details so we can help you.

      Sister, pain passes. It may not seem like it right now, but all things heal with time. Just be patient and hang in there, and trust Allah to get you through.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  30. it is good but this site cant help me

    • As salamu alaykum, shna,

      Go to your roots, go to Allah(swt),He(swt) will help you, insha´Allah. If you want us to try to help you, log in and submit your question, this way, at least we can try, insha´Allah.

      María
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  31. Thank you ! Thank you ! i been tru alot that i feel like i can't take it no more but thanks for reminding me that Allah s.w.a doest not impose what the soul can't take even tho i don't understand sometime cause it seem so cruel how when everyting come down i just get hit again wit a nuther wave but hamdulilah it all good May Allah s.w.a bless you.

  32. Beautiful article!

  33. This is a great article. I am 22 years old and what touched my heart the most was the statement that parents do not allow their children to marry someone of their choice because of supersticial thoughts. I am in love with a Muslim boy but my mom does not approve of him because she is worried about what society will think and she wants to make the world proud by getting me married to a highly qualified and educated person. She is not wrong to want to give me a better life but who is she to judge that I will be happier with a highly educated individual. I have thought about suicide but I know it is wrong so when I am in pain I pray to Allah and hope my problem will be resolved. It has been a year but I know Allah will never let me down. The only reason my mom does not approve of the boy I love is because he is not as educated as she wants and because my sister is married to his brother. I do not believe these reasons are legit. None the less I continue to obey her and try my best to please her but despite everything I do it is never enough for her yet whatever my brothers do for her small or big she is pleased. I love my mom. SHe is my world but it seems as if her sons are more important to her than her daughters. We do a lot for her yet it always seems like my brother is more important and that hurts.

    • Dear Saima,
      Many parents want to chose spouses for their children. It is a practice that is allowed in Islam. but there are rules that govern this and many times children are ignorant about them and so end up being forced to marry those that they dont want. I want to tell you that in Islam parents may chose for their children their husbands or wives. One thing you should know is that when they show you the man( in this case because u r a girl) they want for you, you are either supposed to say NO or YES. it is a choice for you to make. If you like the person and are confortable with him or her then you say yes, but if you dont like them then you say NO. so my sister you have a choice dont allow to be forced into a marriage that you dont want.
      you could make it easier by showing your parents the evidece from the sunnah and Quran. right now i would have loved to tell you the sunnah of the prophet that says this but i dont have it right now so inshaallah i will tell you when i get it.But i think you can also get that information by googling it ie:prophets teachings about marriage. or you could ask the editor of this site to give it to you .
      i hope i have been helpful.
      all the best
      Shaaneed

  34. Hii,

    I honestly cant take this anymore. .............

  35. Sorry but where do I go to see your comment?

  36. Thank you so much for your article on depression. I'm so glad for your comments about clinical depression, because extreme, constant stress can actually change your brain chemistry making any enjoyment impossible. You are unable to feel anything. And it can take awhile to recover from this, even after you make life changes. Medication is a BIG help, so I'm glad that was the first thing you addressed. If someone has already suffered that chemical change, they can't appreciate the good and beautiful things until that change is reversed.

    Thanks so much for this. Allah will reward you because you helped so many people.

  37. I am close to suicide but after this i feel a bit better.
    life is full of tragedy and sometimes i lost a lot and its unfair for me many bad things happened
    but i should keep my faith stronger.
    ALLAH has once answered my prayers perhaps some of my prayers are not yet to be answered
    and i shall give my patients and faith.

    • InshAllah your prayers will be answered.. Allah will inshAllah reward your patience and not giving up on the precious life he has given you 🙂
      Maybe getting involved in some community activities and helping other brothers and sisters
      will help you feel better inshaAllah 🙂
      All the best brother! Salam 🙂

  38. assalamu alaikum.I can't do anything in my life .my life is destroyed by tablighi jamaat.they effect my studies as well as my students.what to do

    • kashif, please log in and write your question as a separate post, and give us some details so we can understand what you are talking about. Jazak Allah khayr.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Eidtor

  39. Thanks for the article on depression. I've been suffering this for a pretty long time, it's ongoing. I know this is rather superficial but I feel like i'm hideous. i'm not the best looking guy my nose is horribly twisted, i think i have what you call a deviated septum/broken nose. This in turn is making me extremely aviodant of people, i cant even go the mosque because i look ridiculous. So basically i think my depression stems from my hideous nose. It wasn't always ugly it was actually cute when i was young, but now its...i have no words to describe it. I'm going to start praying and fasting inshallah, this article really lifted me spiritually. I'm trying to be sahbur and im even reading the quaran every night but i'm still feeling depressed...any advice on this matter would be appreciated. Thank you.

    • wahhib, if your nose is like this because it was broken, then I suggest surgery to correct it.

      Beyond that, you need to come to the realization that you are not defined by the shape of your nose. Everyone is physically imperfect in some way. Many people suffer from far greater deformities and disabilities than yours but they cope. You might want to consider seeing a therapist who can help you cope with the exaggerated feelings you have about your nose.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • If i were to get correction surgery, while im at it do you think it's okay for me to change the shape of my nose or make it slightly smaller? is it haram?

  40. Sam, you need love. love for islam and love from a person. the more you isolate yourself the more you want to be isolated . Trust me ive been through it and im still going through it. i like silence too but i balance it out with other things.i like being on my own too but life goes on and i have other things to do like be there for my family and study. you need someone to talk to and someone who can comfort you.

    You can contact me and i will help as much as i can from my own experiences

    Mehwish

  41. Assalam'walakum i would like to start by saying jazak allah to the brother or sister who as written this website i have found it a great help and just by reading this i have felt a scene of relief that i am not alone.

    On monday i actually attempted to end my life due to all the issues i have and am suffering from currently in life. For the past four years i have slowly lost the will to live and i literally got pushed of the edge last week. however alhumdulila i have been given another chance from Allah (swt) and for some reason i don't know were to start when asking for forgiveness, but reading this has helped me understand were i should start and i will follow these points set out and see how it goes.

    i only ask that everyone keeps me in their prayers as i still don't know how i am feeling at this moment in time.

    i have bought my tickets to go do umrah during ramadan so can everyone please make dua that i can go and ask for forgiveness as i really and truly do need Allah (swt) to forgive me for all that i have done.

    jazak allah for your prayers

    allah hafiz

    • Dear Sister Tanjina,

      Alhumdulillah, He(swt) has guided you. Your life is so precious, remember Allah never burdens us with more than we can bear. Keep looking forward and start preparing heartily for your Umrah trip this Ramadaan. I wish I was going and pray for this often! Allah has invited you to do Umrah and He(swt) also guided you to this website through which you have found comfort - it is clear that He(swt) wants good for you.

      Keep striving my dear sister, I shall surely pray for you Insha'Allah.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  42. Q. Is there a difference between hunger striking and suicide (the latter of which is against Islamic teachings...)?

  43. Asalaam, great piece of writing brother Wael Abdelgawad. You've reminded me of the right path and why we are here in this life. Being tested is very hard but as you've said Allah is not punishing me but testing me. Need to appreciate what I have. I will re-read the piece when I'm feeling low to pick myself up. Thank you.

  44. I wish my friend would have listen to me just once reading this artical, maybe she would not have make this horrible suicidal thoughts 🙁

  45. if allah really loves us and calls life a so called gift why does he bestow depression on people ???? Im nineteen years old & i had tons of goals and ambitions until i got diagnosed with depression .... People dont understand how much strain this puts on parents .... Im making my parents the ones i love so much and dearly through sooo much cost due to my depression and i dont come from a very wealthy fam and we dont have a car to go the physc clinic we have to take a taxi and my mum is old and ryt now i should be making her proud and looking after her not putting her through stress... Sooo the way i see it i rather kill myself and burn in the fire if allah wills aslong as i know my paarents are free from the burden of me ... Ppl say committing suicide is wrong but u most probably havent been depressed .... It makes u feel like an emotionless zombie .... And im on anti depressants so allah cant say i didnt try ... These anti depressants make u feel even worse ... I was i five time nsalaah reader but now i barely even read one due to my lack of energy and ive cried soo much in my salaah and begged allah to cure me but iruno ???

    • May Allah bless you, Zeenat!
      Please, NEVER DOUBT, that ALLAH LOVES YOU and HEARS all of your prayers!
      Please, BELIEVE, that not a single tear of yours is lost in vain, every feeling of pain in your heart He KNOWS...!
      Be confident to Allah, be patient and keep your faith alive and you will be rewarded generously !
      You are just being tested in your faith and hope - be aware of it - don't let your faith weaken, don't let your kind, noble, loving heart be afraid ! Tell you, you are far more stronger than this, because you do seek the help of Allah and It's Allah, Who Protects you!
      Allah guides each of us the way, that only He knows, but this IS the RIGHT one, as long as we pray, hope and believe Allah. All that we pass through is nothing else, but the Will of Allah and is sent to us for the benefit of our souls. If we could only know a part of this benefit, we'd bless these days of our suffering, which purify our souls, make them stronger and pass...
      You should not be afraid or revolted in your heart - that's the wrong way, don't even step into it! On the contrary, read this site, keep praying, do, what you can each day little by little and remember, that no soul, that seeks the help of Allah will be lost!
      ...Your feelings I do understand. The depression - I know, what you are talking about... And I do think, that adressing Allah from all your heart with hope and faith is the only REAL HELP for sure.
      Please, zeenat, FORGET those black thoughts about killing yourself - haram! - Be sure, you are not just a ''burden'', as you say, for your parents, but, above all, you are their LOVING and BELOVED SON, - ma sha' Allah ! No actual stress, that you and your family are living through now can be worse for them, than ...loosing you forever! Continue to pray as you can, don't give up hope, Allah reads in your heart, you are very precious for Him, zeenat!

  46. Thank you, you just saved me from overdosing.

    • Qwerty, I don't know if you're serious or just joking, but if you're serious, then Alhamdulillah. Aside from thanking me, thank Allah, who brought you to this article at this moment to save your life. He cares about you and wants good for you, even when you don't see it. I don't know you, but I know that you have much to live for. Don't give up.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  47. Asalaamualaikum.

    Thank you so much for writing this article. It really touched me (I actually cried while reading). I am a 14 year old... and I've been getting thoughts of suicide lately. What has always stopped me from actually doing it was the fact that I knew its consequence. Every time I thought of commiting suicide, I always told myself that I would burn in hell if I did. I've always felt really bad having these feelings... because I know so many people face worse hardships than I do. Nevertheless the guilt... I still can't help having these feelings.
    It sounds stupid (because its such a young age) but the first time I ever felt like I was depressed was when I was 8. It was because of some... I guess you could say small matters but to me at that time... it was really something saddening that I felt... at that time, I used to always cry to myself in the bathroom while I was supposed to shower (so my parents couldn't find out) and in my room at night when I was supposed to sleep but anyway they eventually did. I am an asian (although I wont reveal the country I'm from) you probably can understand what it's like. My parents place a high emphasis and importance on education and studies... though they always deny of having high expectations of us like other asian parents do... so yeah. When I was 8, part of the reason why I felt sad for the whole year was partly because I felt... useless... and because I was always stressed out from exams. I always wanted my parents to be proud of me... so I used to always keep to myself in school and study furiously everyday. My country you could say has either the second or third (can't remember) hardest education in the world... so yeah. Anyway, because of the sort of depression thinggy I had when i was 8, I developed asthma and leg problems (I still have them up till now, and they always turn up when I'm stressed or feel anxious). Anyway, just to add to it... alhamdullilah I was placed 3rd in class and did very well in my exams that year. The year after, I recovered from the somewhat 'depression' and was posted to the best class (I was in the 3rd best class the year b4). Apparently though, when I was 9 and a half, my family and I moved to Australia. I know I've been writing too much... so I'll summarise the non-important bits. Anyway, after about 2 years+ we returned to our country. I was supposed to take a major national exam that year (it was supposed to be my last year in primary school) but because in the pri. school in Aust. was so much slower, and it didn't exactly follow any syllabuses, I had been lagged behind. Even though I had been a straight A student in the years before, I merely just passed my english school entrance exam while failing in Maths and Science. I had so much to catch on. So anyway, the vice-principal advised me to drop down a year.. and because at that time I really had great ambitions, I listened to her and did just that. But because of my age, I was bullied everyday in school by kids a year younger than me because I did very well in school (but that was only because I studied hard everyday to catch up). Especially by boys. It was like hell. Anyway, I managed to jump from the 40%s to the 70%s to 90%s in less than a year... which was a really difficult feat even though I was a year behind. I even managed to emerge no. 1 in my class... I then did my senior year of pri. school in another school (that treated me so much better despite my age difference) because my family and I moved houses. Anyway after another 2 years or so... because of a family reason... my family and I moved to Australia AGAIN. so in total, I went to 4 primary schools. It definitely wasn't emotionally easy. Now, I'm in the 2nd year of highschool in Australia. I went to highschool in my own country too, but only for 4 months because we moved back here. I was in my 1st year in the asian country... but when I moved back to aust. , I was placed in the 2nd because the education system here is much slower... so I was able to manage it. Anyway... the first time I was here, I used to be okay with everything despite being culturally different. I think it was only because it was only primary school then though. When I entered highschool here anyway, I was totally culture shocked. In a different way then the first. When I moved here the first time in primary school, it was because of the way they spoke partly how they acted and mostly because of the education... but this time, it was totally because of the students. Unlike the country where I was from, the school permitted girls to do makeup and let their hair down, allowed to all the students to do themselves up however they wanted as long as they wore the school uniform (which literally, is just a polo t-short with the school logo). Guys could have their ears pierced (a definite no-no for highschool guys in my country), both guys and girls could have their hair coloured and any style of haircut (a definite no-no again in my country) etc. Other than that, the way they behaved just shocked me. They were very rowdy, even the girls. Some of the students were even kissing and hugging at any place they wanted during recess and lunch breaks. It was really shocking. furthermore, in almost every sentence they spoke, even from the mouths of the so called 'decent' students, there would be a swear word. Plus, they were really noisy in class, which really bothered me when I was trying to concentrate. At that point of time, I began to really miss my old friends and family (from my country). I begun to feel frustrated from all the moving (because I moved so many times) and the culture change. Even though the education is so much more relaxing I begun to feel like I was getting dumber and dumber. I hated the students, I hated the school, I hated my life. But I never dared to bring up the subject to my parents. I don't enjoy going to school anymore, despite the shorter hours. The only thing I look forward to school everyday was the dismissal, when we could return home. Unlike the highschool I went to before (the one in my country), I hang around and made friends with people that I don't even want to be with... just so I dont end up being a total loner in school. They were the only... I guess you could say somewhat 'decent' ones though... even they swear alot. They are better than the rest I guess because they do have a better mindset and respect for the teachers.. . but other than that they are quite the same as everyone else. Plus, I can't concentrate in school like used to... and I always feel constantly frustrated. I used to barely listen to music and use the internet for entertainment purposes, but now I do to that to the point that I constantly get distracted from important tasks like school work and even embarassingly my salaah. I used to always do my salaah on time. I feel so hopeless. I started feeling depressed like almost 2 months ago... and I somewhat got used to school and got by... but recently, the feeling has struck me again.... I hate what I am now... because I almost always miss my salaah... I've gotten lazy to do anything... and my mum and dad have saying bad things about me which are totally true... Since I was young, I used to always want to be a doctor and have so many other ambitions like a part time ustazah (female islamic teacher) at the same time... etc. But now I feel like I dont have any ambitions anymore... that maybe wanting to be doctor was just because of 'idealism' and what everyone thought a good job was and that I probably wasnt fit to be an ustazah because I couldn't even do all my salaah in a day. I used to feel so innocent and pure... that I would never have anything like a 'teenage phase' where someone just totally changes and becomes different and rebellious... I guess I'm not exactly rebellious though because I've never actually done anything to go against my parents' will... like going out with friends, smoking, doing drugs etc. But I have raised my voice with my mum... which is really bad... Sometimes I feel like I should give up everything and end my life because I have no purpose in life anymore, no ambitions or dreams, no future, etc. I've contemplated suicide alot... which was different from the time when I was 8 because at that time I just felt sad and cried alot... Now, many times, I feel like cutting or hanging myself... I feel so useless... I cry alot too... and I can't seem to be able to study and do revision by myself at home like I used to. There was even a time when I hallucinated for a moment in class about snapping and beating everyone up in class because their noise and rowdiness in class was driving me crazy. Like I mentioned, the only thing that has kept me from actually doing any of this is because of its consequence. But I'm always struggling inside. I always smile and try to feel happy infront of my parents and siblings... & when I'm 'bad' like fighting with my siblings, spending alot of time on the computer, singing, being loud, wanting to learn how to dance etc, they always think that its probably just part of the teenage rebellious phase thing. My older brother you could say is pretty rebellious too... he's facing other different problems... and I guess its quite different if you consider it in our personal ways. He's had boy.girl.relationship. problems, wanting to always go out, and something else that I can't say and I have mine which are basically what I've told you. We face different things, so I can't exactly compare because I don't know his problems on a personal basis. Anyway, I've always wanted to share my feelings with my mum... but... a few years ago... when I spoke to her about depression and how I might have had it at the time when I was 8... she told me I was thinking too much and that it wasn't depression... that maybe I actually really liked it and was proud of being really sad when I was 8 but being able to do so well. Now, knowing I'm contemplating suicide... I really want to tell her and receive comfort because I've always felt a presence of security from her... but I'm afraid that I'll get the same response. If I try to get consultation from the school counsellor... it'll probably be reported to my parents... which in turn might make them really mad at me.... But... I've been getting suicidal thoughts lately and once I almost did it by standing in the middle of the road without walking or running to the kerb for safety.... What should I do?

    • Assalamo alaikum alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu...

      Dear sister,

      My heart went out to u while reading ur post. u r so young, so innocent... I noticed that nobody has repliied to ur post so far and I really, really hope my reply finds u in a better frame of mind and that u haven't harmed urself in any way till now. And i hope my words will be of some use to you.

      I almost feel like u r my little sister. Sweetheart, i myself am from an Asian country and i very well understand the kind of academic pressures u have from ur family... and the fact that u had to shuttle between countries and cultures and change school so often at such a tender age made matters worse. (I wish parents would think of the mental pressur constant change of surroundings puts on children and refrain from doing it as much as possible... sigh). I was always a brilliant student mashaallah but while i was at school, i too sometimes felt like i would just collapse from the strain of always having to be in a rat race for marks and ranks- it was so bad that even at age 7-8, i would cry heartbrokenly over a lost half mark! but by the grace of Allah, I did not go over the edge and managed to gain a more holistic view of life by the time i stepped into my late teens, thanks to help from my very understanding Dad and some good, supportive friends. Right now I am 23 and doing Ph.D in a reputed university mashallah and i am happy and content with my life alhamdulillah.

      One major advantage you have over me, sister, is that even though u r just 14, u already seem to have a good knowledge of islam and u mentioned u had been very regular in ur salaah until u got depressed. Alhamdulillah sister... OUR FAITH IS D BIGGEST SHIELD WE HAVE AGAINST DESPAIR. I myself started practising Islam in my life only a couple of years back and the result has been tremendously uplifting in every way mashaallah. I went through major lifestyle changes, I feel more peaceful and content than ever before. And that's what I would like u too to do dear. THERE IS A PURPOSE TO LIFE- AND NO, IT'S NOT BEING THE TOPPER IN EVERY CLASS! U THINK ALLAH CREATED US HUMANS FOR SUCH A TRIVIAL REASON AS TO AMASS WEALTH OR MARKS OR FAME? I KNOW UR HEART SAYS THE ANSWER IS 'NO'. THE PURPOSE BEHIND MAN'S EXISTENCE IS TO DO 'IBAADAT' (WORSHIP). And doing all the good things which Allah wants us to do- loving and respecting ur parents, establishing regular prayers, dressing and behaving modestly, smiling at people, giving charity, being kind to people and animals, helping people in need, loving others for the sake of Allah, doing ur work(which for u right now is studying) honestly and sincerely- and refraining from all things which are displeasing to Allah like lying, cheating, stealing, backbiting, showing off.. these are all acts of worship of Allah! So work hard and put in ur best effort for exams, ask Allah to help you and then- LEAVE THE REST TO ALLAH. If ur effort is honest ansd sincere and u put ur trust in Him, He will reward u suitably. It's said in the Quran that we should never despair of Allah's mercy. But pls do not make marks the be-all and end- all of life, or when you grow up, money or fame or material things like that... we as Muslims are capable of living life for much nobler reasons than wealth or fame (or marks). And u know what, He loves us even more than our own mom and Dad! And as for career choice, don't worry too musch about it right now... Just study sincerely now, ask Allah for guidance and inshallah, by the end of ur schooling, u will be able to make up ur mind as to whether u want to be a doctor or a religious scholar or a teacher or a scientist or a homemeaker, u wil know what u want to do with the rest of ur life. Also understand that u r not alone- almost all youngsters ur age are going through these same turmoils- i too did when i was a teenaager.

      Sister, pls pls don't even think of suicide. Allah has given u this precious treasure called life and made u such a beautiful, unique person and blessed u with so many good things- parents, food, education, a home.... the list is countless! Just think of orphans out in the streets who have to beg or pick rags to make a living (and still aren't able to have even one square meal a day) and have no place called home to return to at the end of the day. Think of all ur blessings and THANK ALLAH. Then believe with all ur heart that with Allah's help, u can surmount ANY difficulty. SO NEVER FEEL HELPLESS- BECAUSE ALLAH LOVES U. so ur problem right now is that u r in Australia and u hate d culture at ur school and u feel so confused- u want to learn to dance nd things like that. See, it's quite natural to feel like this at teenage- it's because of all those hormonal changes which are a part of growing up. What u need right now are good friends who can guide u and keep u away from landing in trouble. Find some masjid near ur home and start going there regularly. Inshallah u will meet some good sisters there in whom u wil be able to confide and who will be able to give u emotional suport to deal with the tough times. Make good friends among such people and u will not go astray inshallah. U will have friendship and companionship and spiritual guidance too. But before that, u could sit down with ur mom(or Dad, depending on who u feel more comfortable with or even both of them) and have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Express all ur feelings of confusion and insecurity and helplesness, how u feel at school, and how u need her to help u. Do not hesitate to show ur heartache, cry if u feel like it- ur parents will never exploit ur vulnerability. Adults have an unfortunate tendency to dismiss d worries of youngsters as insignificant but i am sure, if ur parents get to see ur pain directly, they will not hesitate to reach out to u.

      Now coming to the culture shock. Dear, different societies have different religions, different lifestyles. U need not be bothered by all that. In the University where i study, students have rave parties every other night, girls wear skimpy dresses that leave nothing to the imagination, they smoke and drink and have live-in relations and think all of that constitutes 'modernity' and 'progress'. Of course, the fact that I am out of my teens and hence more mature and stable in my thinking may be part of the reason why I do not feel any desire to partake in their ruinous lifestyles. But the bigger reason is that I, as a Muslim, know how Allah wants me to lead my life and I know it's for my own good! So i am perfectly happy to lead my life in an Islamic way even though it sometimes means being left out. But what does it matter if u have Allah's pleasure? He will never leave u and will bestow his blessings and make ur imaan even stronger inshallah. When u see people around u leading such empty, shallow lives, thank Allah that u r a Muslim and u have God's foolproof guidance in every aspect of ur life. Just understand that they are misled ppl, tolerate them, behave courteously and kindly with them but DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO MAKE U FEEL INFERIOR OR INFLUENCE U TO DO WRONG THINGS. Strengthen ur knowledge of Islam so that u can rest assured that u are so soooo lucky to have ISLAM, the only true and best religion. And u know what, u also can have fun with ur female friends provided they are good people. Invite them over, go out for a picnic or shopping with them (with ur parents' permission, of course), just chat with them or even dance in ur room with them if u feel like i! I am no Islamic scholar but as far as I know, a little good natured fun with ur female friends couldn't be wrong. Of course, none of these activities should prevent u from doing ur salah in time or other obligatory Islamic duties. I am sure there must be a few people who are good at heart, no matter what religion or race they belong to, and will accept u as u r and respect ur religion and lifestyle.

      With ur parents' help, support from some good Islamic friends, learning more aboout Islam and by learning to unconditionally trust in Allah's will and ifinite mercy, u can easily tide over this rough adolescent phase. And I will always be around in case u need any further support. And I will pray for u. Cheer up, dear. Everything wil get better inshallah.

      Take care. Allah hafiz.

      Love,
      Ur sister in Islam

  48. It was early in the morning at four,
    When death knocked upon a bedroom door.

    Who is there? The sleeping one cried.
    I'm Malkul Maut, let me inside.

    At once, the man began to shiver,
    As one sweating in deadly fever,

    He shouted to his sleeping wife,
    Don't let him take away my life.

    Please go away, O Angel of Death!
    Leave me alone; I'm not ready yet.

    My parents and family on me depends,
    Give me a chance, O please prepense!

    The angel knocked again and again,
    Friend! I'll take your life without a pain,

    Tis your soul Allah requires,
    I come not with my own desires..

    Bewildered, the man began to cry,
    O Angel I'm so afraid to die,

    I'll give you gold and be your slave,
    Don't send me to the unlit grave.

    Let me in, O Friend! The Angel said,
    Open the door; get up from your bed,

    If you do not allow me in,
    I will walk through it, like a Jinn.

    The man held a gun in his hand,
    Ready to defy the Angel's stand..

    I'll point my gun, towards your head,
    You dare come in; I'll shoot you dead.

    By now the Angel was in the room,
    Saying, O Friend! Prepare for you doom.

    Foolish man, Angels never die,
    Put down your gun and do not sigh.
    Why are you afraid! Tell me O man,
    To die according to Allah's plan?
    Come smile at me, do not be grim,
    Be Happy, to return to Him.

    O Angel! I bow my head in shame;
    I had no time to take Allah's Name.

    From morning till dusk, I made my wealth,
    Not even caring for my own health.

    Allah's command I never obeyed,
    Nor five times a day I ever prayed.

    Ramadan came and a Ramadan went,
    But I had no time to repent.

    The Hajj was already FARD on me,
    But I would not part with my money.

    All charities I did ignore,
    Taking usury more and more.

    Sometimes I sipped my favorite wine,
    With flirting women I sat to dine...

    O Angel! I appeal to you,
    Spare my life for a year or two.

    The Laws of Quran I will obey,
    I'll begin my SALAT this very day.

    My Fast and Hajj, I will complete,
    And keep away from self-conceit.

    I will refrain from usury,
    And give all my wealth to charity,

    Wine and wenches I will detest,
    Allah's oneness I will attest.

    We Angels do what Allah demands,
    We cannot go against His commands..

    Death is ordained for everyone,
    Father, mother, daughter or son.

    I’m afraid this moment is your last,
    Now be reminded, of your past,

    do understand your dreadful fears,
    But it is now too late for your tears.

    You lived in this world, two score and more,
    Never did to you, your people adore.

    Your parents, you did not obey,
    Hungry beggars, you turned away.

    Your two ill-gotten, female offspring,
    In nightclubs, for livelihood they sing.

    Instead of making many more Muslims,
    You made your children non-Muslims?

    You did ignore the Mua'dhin Adhaan,
    Nor did you read the Holy Quran.

    Breaking promises all your life,
    Backbiting friends, and causing strife

    From hoarded goods, great profits you made,
    And for your poor workers, you underpaid.

    Horses and cars were your leisure,
    Moneymaking was your pleasure.

    You ate vitamins and grew more fat,
    With the very sick, you never sat.

    A pint of blood you never gave,
    Which could a little baby save?

    O Human, you have done enough wrong,
    You bought good properties for a song.

    When the farmers appealed to you,
    You did not have mercy, this true.

    Paradise for you? I cannot tell,
    Undoubtedly you will dwell in hell.

    There is no time for you to repent,
    I'll take your soul for which I am sent.

    The ending however, is very sad,
    Eventually the man became mad

    With a cry, he jumped out of bed,
    And suddenly, he fell down dead.

    O Reader! Take moral from here,
    You never know, your end may be near

    Change your living and make amends
    For heaven, on your deeds depends.

    if this poem inspires you,
    It can help someone too.

  49. My life has been disaster. I was blessed. i looked good,had grt family and gud in studies big dreams but slowly i lost the plot. Due to major illness i lost my hearing and almost died but somehow i survived but due to my deafness i got very depressed. my dreams were shattered but somehow i fought and survived. with blessing of allah i got a job tho it was nothing to what i had once dreamt but i accepted my fate. Then came a girl in my life.I have been suffering for last 12 years. this girl comes in my life and gives me happiness and i think finally allah has shown mercy and i'll get happy life now. our communities are different but she promised we will marry no matter what. But......... nw she says her parents are strongly opposed so it cant happen. yet again my life is shattered. I cant take it any more.. And i have to end all this pain. i prayed a lot but maybe its my fate and i'l have to die

    • suranim,

      You got through so much before, you can get through this too. You fought a major illness, only to waste that success and effort by giving up over a girl? No, brother. You are worth much much more than that. Victory will taste even sweeter when it comes; and it will come insha'Allah.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • suranim, be grateful for what you have. Stop the self-pity. You say you look good, you got an education, you are obviously intelligent - don't you still have all those things? Don't you have food on the table and a roof over your head? Allah has blessed you in many ways. Be grateful for what you have and don't focus on what you lost.

      You are not the first to suffer. You are not the first to feel heartbreak. We've all been through it!

      "Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said,"When is the help of Allah ?" Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near." - Quran 2:124

      Your obsession with this woman has gone far enough. Let go of her and move on with your life. There is joy and happiness for you in the future, just be patient.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  50. thanks sisterz,
    its not abt a girl.. its abt fate..I now give up as i dont see any hope.. I have been begging for happiness but it always alludes me.. how much pain can a person take? i kept taking and taking hoping things will get better but now i cant anymore. I have reached a stage from where there is no coming back.. Hapines and peace is like aliens to me. Just wish allah forgives my sins and may i see some peace either here or up there. I'll still try for few days.. I request everyone here to please please pray for me

    • Allah is all we have only expect & ask from him brother. May Allah make it easy for u and turn ur sorrow into happiness. I'm going thru similar situation but wut keeps me going us there is a higher power, and there is Allah that listens. I sincerely hope u r surprised with how ull life will turn around ameen

  51. i have nothing good in my life. All i have is a mother yes she is a mother but a killer too she killed my from iside i want to suicide i want to but i wont as i know its the bigest sin on earth n will be punished forever in hell the one who commits suicide nothing is good in my life i loved a guy. from the core of my heart n first my mother n my family make me marry that person after a time she betrayes me n lock me up in a room with no good reason. i have a perfect life i had a perfect life she betrayed me she sent me to another country in saudia arabia now iam left up with memories tell me allah loves his child then y dont he help me why dont he make me get out of this iam dead mentally physically all i neeed to is die

    • Alizey, please log in and write your question as a separate post, and give us more details about the situation so we can advise you properly Insha'Allah. I'll move your post to the front of the queue so you won't have to wait too long.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  52. how to write a seperate post?

  53. AssalamuAlaikum my dear friends,
    I just ended up reading all these posts when I tried to find out about what the punishment for suicide is bcz i personally want to do it..Im just fed up of everything in my life.Its one of the most common reason's..Love!!I loved someone and trusted him truly..everything was normal until we had decided on approaching my dad..but before he could personally speak to my dad..my dad had got to know from someone outside and he went through the whole matter on trying to find out his details with regard to his family and his personal details..and that's when I came to know that he has been doing black magic for me and for my family in order to get me!This is when my heart and trust broke,I expected different problems but never in dreams dat i had dreamt of something lyk dis happening to me.He has been doing so much behind me and i didnt even have the slightest idea..how could someone do this?this is not love but whats my mistake?I trusted him and loved him..but now i cant trust anyone..evry man i c reminds me of wat he has done to me and i think that i cant go ahead with my lyf further on..he has threatened my dad of kidnapping me and my parents are worried of even sending me outside!!I cant even go to my college anymore..it has been my dream to complete my degree..but I have not been to college from the past two weeks and I dont think that I will b allowed to..I just wonder when are people lyk them going to be punished from Allah..I feel that Im being given the punishment for loving him but what about my family?they didn't do anything!!Now,every miniute im living with the fear that what would happen next!!I didnt deserve this na..:'(
    I cant live with this fear and guilt that my family has to suffer bcz of my mistake of falling in love with a person lyk him!!
    I know that for sure that he will stoop to any level to get me..but I cant just take this anymore.......

    • Safi, although you are going through a difficult time right now, it will pass. Don't even think of suicide. There are always other solutions. And although this may be difficult for your family, I am sure that in their hearts their primary desire is to protect you. They would never wish to see you harmed.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  54. what should do when you r comletly fedup and u just want to suicide?

    • arzu, please read the article. There's a lot of good advice in it. If you need specific advice for your situation, then please log in and write your question as a separate post. We'll try to expedite your question.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  55. alsalamu alaikum,

    i just feel so broken. I want to commit suicide for years, but I fear Allah. I just wish I could just stop existing.
    my parents are old and broken. they are not very religious, and I'm afraid they'll leave me and die. My father has shizophrenia, but he does not recognize him having that illness. he thinks my mother is trying to kill him along with some guys and so he makes her life hard.
    I can't take it when he tries to talk to me about this stuff (he always says my mother is a kafir and that she will go to hell and talks bad about her) so when he starts i start being mean. and then I'm mean to my mother, too.
    I think I hate him. But I don't want them to leave. I hate my brother too, because I feel that he has never helped me when I was younger and my father was isolating me and I can't take it that he is better than me. I just hate everyone and myself. I hate men. I hate women. My mother has endured so much and i don't want to be like that. I don't want anyone to opress me like this. I don't think I'll ever be able to love a man. I hate myself and I feel so lonely. II wish I could drown and it would be painful because I hate myself so much.
    I hate my "friends", too. I don't have anything I could talk about with them, we just don't have anything in common. I think they dislike me, too. People in general dislike me. I try to make up a personality they could like but I don't have much of a personality. I don't even know what my real voice is, because I always change it. I just can't make any contacts. I'm so lethargic and tired all the time. I take antidepressants, but I still want to die.
    I tried talking to therapists, but i just feel like they dislike me, too. everyone makes me feel so inferior.
    I study medicine but the more i learn about it, the more i realize how cruel people are to animals and it makes me hate them all. I wanted to be a doctor, because I thought if I can't love myself maybe if I'm good and I help people then Allah will like me. But everyday I have to read on animal-testings and it makes me hate humanity so much because we are so bad to animals and to each other.
    I try to distract myself but I fail to do so more and more. I'm so tired and powerless, I can't even study properly. I think I have given up long ago and to tell the truth i'm just waiting for something to come and end my life. I try to think of God and of stying alive but it just hurts so much mentally. I don't know why I write this but I have never told this stuff to anybody.

    Your article was really good. It's just that I can't see anything nice in this world anymore. It's as if humanity spoiled it all. Everything is just so rotten. still, the article was very thoughtful. I'll try to do what i can from the list. I want to be a good muslim. i know it sounds childish but i want that someday every living thing will be good because hell has burned away the bad in us and we'll all be in a happy place. i want to be there with my bunnies and my mother. I think my bunnies are the only thing in this world that i still love, though they don't like me very much.

    May God the Almighty reward you for your good deeds and forgive your bad ones.

    • Salams sister "Someone",
      Dear everyone around you doesn't hate you. Allah (swt) loves you and that is why HE is testing you, never ever think of suicide because it's Allah (swt) wants to see if you will be thankful to HIM when HE is testing you and also to see if you are a true believer, one who deserves Jannah. Don't you think that giving up your life would mean that not only Shaytan succeeded in his evil plan by tricking you to giving up hope/trust in Allah (swt) but also he ruined your Akhirah. We are all brothers and sisters, we are each other support in difficult time, we are here to help each other stay on the right path, do good deeds, avoid sin and keep hope/trust in Allah and pray for HIS mercy.

      I am glad that you have not given up hope but please look a therapist, your post shows that you have been through a lot but you are a person with beautiful heart and very sensitive. Losing you will be a loss for all of us as we all here love you are our sister in faith and humanity. Please write separate post after logging in if you need help. Sister, you should read about people who are suffering all over the world with no food, shelter, clothing, medical facilities and are suffering with war, have lost many dear ones in all that but still their faith is strong. Do you not think that you have all these things that they don't. Look at the positive side and try to spread love, peace and happiness around yourself and see how you feel inside yourself.

      Muhammad1982,
      Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

      • Thank you for your kind words, may God reward your efforts.

        Whenever I think about those who have it harder it just hurts more. Especially those who suffer from war or poverty, because i know that the wealth of the country i live in comes from sucking the life out of their countires. it makes me feel like a parasite.
        I thought I could clear some of that guild by becoming a doctor and working for doctors without borders, but now i study medicine and i see how much suffering to living creatures doctors have brought and i just feel worse.

        • Sister, you are not obliged to take that path. Not all the doctors cruel to animals, it's just part of their job. If you don't like which I can understand why then you can vouch out of that iA. However, my logic here is that you are intelligent and you have resource as well as time to achieve something that other can't. Believe me Ummah needs doctors always especially female doctors, so please think of those people who will benefit from your education and skill not of those doctors who are cruel to animals or whatever.

          And no you are not wasting my time, I would be glad to help a sister/brother see the light and realise their potential and come out of that dark place where they are feeling lost, depressed and hopeless:). I however think it's not right to keep on commenting back and forth under someone else's post which is why I request you to log in and write your question as separate post. Hope you understand and don't mind:).

          Muhammad1982,
          Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

    • I've been unfair about my father. When he's not in one of his shizophrenic phases he's really nice, but also lonely and we don't really have anything to talk about, so we just sit there and there's an uncomfortable silence. i know it's not his fault that things are the way they are, it's part of the disease... but it's just so unbearable.

      I don't think anyone can help me but God. I just kind of wrote it after I read the article and I don't know why. Maybe I should increase the medication.
      I'm sorry for stealing your time. Sorry

  56. I have some problem. I'm friends with a girl in my class. And I want to stop this friendship. Also is it ok for me and her to be just friends?

    • Afroz, it depends on what you mean by "friends". I suggest you log in and write your question as a separate post, and give us more details, and we'll answer you in turn Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  57. my mom is saying im psycho

  58. this is beautiful. i will try to keep these in mind, thank you, jazak allah khayr

  59. Just came across this site while surfing about Islam on google..read few questions & their answers..i tried to end my life few months ago by committing suicide by having an overdose of cough syrup but did not succeed in my aim.i realized that our life and our death both are only in Allah's hands and we are no one to decide about it.even today and few days back i was thinking of trying again to finish my life:(it's not that bad to be true but few problems are there which i share with Allah daily...and hope that someday Allah will answer my prayers and forgive all my sins and hence my life will improve and become good inshallah..my faith in Allah never dies..reading few articles here related to suicide i am feeling much better and light-hearted now and i promise myself and Allah that i will never attempt suicide in life again but will bear and endure all hardships with courage and strength,prayer and meditation and my undying faith in Allah the ALmighty..may Allah bless all the members of this site.subhaanallah

    • Allah's Angel, As-salamu alaykum. I'm very happy that this page helped you, and I'm also very happy to hear you say that you will never attempt suicide again. As you said, courage, prayer, and faith are the way forward Insha'Allah. May strengthen you and bless you always.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  60. JazakAllah khair for the post .
    Here are some Quranic verses and Ahadith Nabvi about suicide for your reference;

    Quranic Verse 1: "Don't kill yourself. No doubt Allah (swt) is merciful and anyone who does so, will be pushed in fire. And it is easy for Allah (swt)." (Nisa: 4:29, 4:30)

    Quranic Verse 2: "We are property of Allah (swt) and we will return to Allah (swt) one day." (Baqra 2:156)

    Quranic Verse 3: "Don't' kill yourself with your own hands" (Baqra 2:195)

    Hadith No.1: "Whoever kills himself with an iron weapon, he will be tortured in hell with the same weapon". (Bokhari)

    Hadith No.2: "Whoever strangles himself with a rope, he will keep on strangling himself until being burnt in hell. And he who killed himself with a spear, he will keep on being killed by spear until he is sent to hell." (Bokhari) ..

  61. Sorry but this didn't helped me dnt know why but I am unable to read the verses of holy Quran or sayings of Holy prophet.This happens ever time listinng or seeing holy Things etc I fell like my heart is gonna blow out of my chest I guess that is because I have created a disbelieve regarding Allah that he won't help me and he hatesme .I pray 5times a day but at the end I don't say Dua thinking he won't listen as has hasn't before. I am in a state were think everyone is fake nd I have a meaningless life which should be finished as soon as it can.I have also putted cuts on my lips nd arms with blade in anger. Help me

    • If this is the case then please, if you really feel like hurting yourself go to the emergency room. Sometimes when you are very depressed and hopeless you are not your normal self (when you are content) therefore your thoughts are not yours and you need some help. If you can, get some therapy and medications to make you feel better. Don't give up hope, sometimes these feelings are beyond our control because of a chemical imbalance, this does not mean we can't get better and does not mean that Allah is not listening to us. Allah is helping you by allowing me to let you know that you can feel much better by getting the correct treatment you need, but you need to first help yourself.

  62. Assalamu allaycom
    I am converted to islam. My father commited suicide while being depressed and he was a kufar.
    My quistion is that i cant ask for forgiveness for a kufar right? Jazak allah ghair

    • Wa'alaykumsalam,

      Sorry to hear of your loss. May Allah give you the strength to overcome this.

      No, its is forbidden to ask for forgiveness for a deceased non-muslim.
      Allah said,
      "It is not for the Prophet and those who have believed to ask forgiveness for the polytheists, even if they were relatives, after it has become clear to them that they are companions of Hellfire." (9:113 Quran)

      Also our prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was not allowed to pray for forgiveness for his mother,

      Abu Huraira reported: The Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) visited the grave of his mother and he wept, and moved others around him to tears, and said: I sought permission from my Lord to beg forgiveness for her but it was not granted to me, and I sought permission to visit her grave and it was granted to me, So visit the graves, for that makes you mindful of death. (Sahih Muslim)

      Prophet Ibrahim AS told his father he would make dua for him, but after he realized his father died as an enemy of Allah because he is kafir, then he refrained from making the dua.

      "And Abraham prayed for his father's forgiveness only because of a promise he had made to him. But when it became clear to him that he was an enemy to Allah, he dissociated himself from him: for Abraham was most tender-hearted, forbearing."(9:114 Quran)

  63. Hi, i really want some advice about suicide , ive been through alot of shit and need some answers. Ive been trying to create an account but it isnt working for me, it never sends me an email with my password. please tell me what to do

    • We have published many posts on this subject, including this one. You can read them and look for advise. If you need a specific advise, you will need to create a separate post.

      Try registering with another email account if it is not working out.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  64. Salaam, this is the second time in my life that I have consulted and read this article. I have never contemplated suicide and inshallah never will. But this article, though written with not committing suicide as the main objective, still addresses other important things and it is this that strengthens me with hope and positivity. May Allah subhaanwatallah bless the writer of this article. I am going through a most terrible time and the words you have chosen and written are like a balm to my heart and soul. This article makes me appreciate that as hard and painful as my decision was, it was the right one to leave a lying, cheating, drug using, physically and mentally abusive, selfish, manipulative fiance who had no deen, never fasted or did salaat or ate halal. Alhamdhulillah I came out before I lost myself. Inshallah may others find the same strength in the words of this article as I did.
    Jazakallah.

  65. To anyone who is going through depression, anxiety or a any sort of difficulty please watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhkrC38lxMA&sns=fb

    Hope that Allah helps you in any test you're going through in sha Allah.

    Jazak Allah khair.

  66. Someone I love dearly after we broke up has said horrible things about me and I miss them at the same time. That confusion is messing my head more and more and I can only think of dying now. I can't reach out and forgive them and tell them I love them, they did this because I made a big Islamic sin of cheating on them but still didn't deserve what they've said since we split and I can't bear it. We had so many good times amongst the bad..i miss those and want to make all the future like those good times but can't see it ahead. Suicide is wrong but I can't bear the pain. JazakAllah, T 🙁

    • T, Assalamu'alaikum,

      You know suicide is wrong and you can't bear the pain? Know that the pain resultant from suicide is much more severe and ever lasting. I am talking about the pain in the Hereafter.

      You should know that there are many people who have seen what you are seeing. And in fact, they have seen much more than you have. You have just heard wrong from someone. If you read some posts on our website, you will realize that you are in a much better position than many out there.

      Brother/Sister, Allah Loves you, why would you kill yourself? Life consists of times that are good and times that are bad. We should fight the bad times with Allah's Name and following His Commandment, and we should thank Him in times of good and say Alhamdulillah. Ending your life will not end your pain but further increase it. Because if you choose patience, there is scope for asking from Allah for patience and actually receiving His Mercy. But if you choose death, then Allah Will be Angry and there is no scope for asking for anything. And when Allah Becomes Angry, who can help you.

      So, my brother/sister, do not do such a silly thing and help us help you by loggin into our website and submitting your post separately with more details on who that person was, the scope of your relationship and so on.

      Jazakallahu Khair

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  67. JazakAllah, I will not do it brother. For Allah and for my kids and family. I am just feeling very low and hurt by lies of someone I may have emotionally hurt but didn't deserve what they are trying to do to me out of revenge. Despite what they're doing I still love them and keep dreaming they'll snap out of it stop it, go counselling ok which I will support them, and reach the happy ending I thought it was heading towards. I was naive as the person showed lots signs of having this in them before but I put it down to believing their background story:[ it just hurts too much what they've done and are doing. Their lies just to revenge the wrong she feels she was dealt. I have done wrong by being dishonest in a relationship which is shameful and a sin, but what they are doing goes in to the realms of the gravest sins and Islam yet I can't stop them except pray Allah shows them the wrong and the path they can't see to ending the lie and finding happiness that was coming. :[

  68. I have made some REALLY big mistakes in the last 10 years or so..I am married now. I have changed so much. cover up, pray 5 times and always try and do good. My past mistakes have come to haunt me though. Someone who was in my life 5 years ago has been stressing me and my family out..blackmailing etc. I am SO stressed. I can't put it in words. I have been thinking about suicide which is why I ended up reading this. I don't know what to do. I'm so tired of crying all the time. Feeling the way i'm feeling all the time. Not being able to sleep because of stress that this person will do something. They have already done so much where I cant face my family again but I hear from my family all the time about what this person has been doing. Its something new every month. I am so lost, scared, depressed, ashamed, digusted with myself.
    When I'm about to come on my periods the situation gets a hundred times worse because of hormones. I can't get out of bed, cant have a wash, can't eat and can barely speak to anyone. I dread that time of the month because it makes my situation SO much more difficult to handle.
    My husband doesn't know anything and he cant help me.
    I am extremely stressed. I will do anything, give anything, everything that I have to make this problem go away. I just want to be normal again. I go out when i have to and when I see ppl smiling and laughing I get so envious as I don't even remember what that feels like..to be happy and not have this hanging over me. Please please please pray for me. If there is anyone out there who cares. Please
    I want to go do umrah so I can go and ask god for forgiveness. To cleanse myself, but there is noone to take me and I am desperate to go. I think tahts the only thing that can save me but I have noone to go with. My husband doesnt want to go and my dad is away.

    I want to feel like a normal human again. I want to be able to smile again and to be able to enjoy life. I can't continue like this. I feel like im getting ill. Like im going to get a disease or something. Sometimes I find myself hoping that I do get something to get this over and done with. Sometimes when I hear of someone dying of an illness, I get envious rather than feeling bad for them.

    I'm going to go now but if anyone reads this. Please please please pray this problem that i am facing right now, the problem I have had to face for so long now goes away and I get the peace I so badly crave.

    M

  69. Masha'Allah brother, thank you for this article and may Allah bless you in this life and in the hereafter.

  70. MashAllah this is an informative and helpful article about suicide thoughts and I mentioned this article many times on tweeter for people who were thinking of to take their lives but changed their minds.
    Thank you
    Shamil

  71. As salaam u alaikum, Brother thanks you for writing such a beautifull explanation on life and allah's gifts to us. I have had a rough life since childhood and my career has been rough as well been working for past 7 years trying to get a stable job but everything keeps going upside down. I have been having suicidal thoughts for atleast 3years now, but suicide being haraam in islam I kept trying to find ways to get away from the feeling, the burden pressures me soo much that I feel like running away. I want to offer prayers and read quarn but I cant seem to get myself to do it. I know it is the answer I feel the strength the power the warm feeling when I offer namaz whole heartedly but I cant seem to get myself to do it. I was seriously considering to die until I started reading this morning and came across this page which actually had a very good impact on the way I was thinking. I need help and advise with some personal things to deal with the problem of me not able to get myself to offer prayers hence is there a way to have a personal conversation with the author ?? I would be really gratefull if you can help me save myself.

    • Brother Salman, I emailed you. I'm happy that the article helped you, Alhamdulillah.

      I'm willing to hear about your problems and offer some brief advice if I can; but I cannot engage in a continuing correspondence or offer detailed advice. That's what this IslamicAnswers.com website is for. If you register and write your question as a post, we will publish it and try to answer you in detail, Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  72. Assalam.o alikum
    Dear brothers and sisters
    I have quetion about suicide.If someone has committedsins in past and also did twaba
    But if someone is blackmailing her with some seific things like photos
    And insisting again do this all otherwise all this stuff will be sent to her
    Family,freiends and also will be published on internet.
    Now this is a deal that if she will do all again till specific date and time.He will delete all
    Stuff and will not black mail again.
    So question is according to these circumstances woman should
    Committ suicide to safe herself from sins or should doe things
    If she cant do this and committs suicide what islam says?
    There is no other option she has.She cant tell about her past to anyone
    Please reply me

    • sister_muslim, the only acceptable option is the one you are ignoring: Refuse his blackmail and do not commit any further sins. If he carries out his threat to publish the material, then accept your shame and live with it as the price of the sin you committed.

      Suicide is a bigger sin than what you've already committed; and to give into the blackmail and commit further zinaa would be abominable and unacceptable. No, you have to refuse him, and live with the consequences.

      It's possible that he will not carry out his threat in any case. Pray to Allah to protect you and conceal your sins.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  73. Thank you
    Assalamu Alaikum

  74. I've been thinking a lot lately about why I no longer want to be a part of this world.I know that according to my religion, suicide is not really an option but I've been severely depressed for a while now and although I may not appear to be to those who are around me, I've been trying very hard to survive each day.
    Why is this world so unfair? Why did human beings have to evolve the intellectual capabilities that allow us to establish societies that discriminate against the weak, the poor, and the ugly etc. Why is it so ingrained into our nature as a species? Did god really have to design a world that is governed by laws like those of natural selection. Laws that, by nature, give rise to selfish organisms that are biologically driven to be concerned only with their survival and reproduction. If we are not mere animals, as Darwin had explained, then why do we behave like ones? Why do our basic urges and desires mirror those of animals in the wild. We didn't choose the circumstances we were born into; rich or poor, beautiful or ugly etc. None of that. So why is it fair that we are subjected to the consequences of a life we never chose for ourselves nor do we want to live. Isn't a system of beliefs, any religion, when based on an unjust set of laws, bound to be unjust itself? I don't understand.

  75. I can't believe that a day would come when I'd hesitate to even greet someone with a salaam. Wael, thanks for this website and all your efforts. I have been so much trouble all my life that I think I'd be better off dead. I no longer know what I believe in. I have no faith or hope in anything that life has to offer. Someone I used to hold in high-esteem has destroyed my self-esteem completely. I've been deeply hurt and can't seem to get out of this torment. He says it's the truth about me, the ugly truth. I never denied it, it's just that it hurts me so much coming from him, the only person who meant something to me in this disgusting place called earth. I've lost my solace in prayers and religion. My life is a wreck, every single aspect of it. I am left feeling ugly and unwanted and he is with the love of his life. He thinks I'm envious of him, far from the truth. I'm hurt. I'm angry. I'm shocked beyond belief how one could disregard my love to this degree of hatred. I'm in shock. I'm deeply disturbed. He opened a can of worms in my life and left. He opened my childhood wounds which I worked all of my life to forget. I don't see any way out of it. I hate everything and everyone. I'm tucked away in a dark corner. I'm afraid of people. I'm afraid of life. I'll curl up here and die here. Life's not worth it. He tries to make me jealous of his love and makes me feel so ugly and unwanted. I just want to die. I can't bear this pain. He doesn't understand what his words do to me, yet he thinks I envy him when all I'm feeling is hurt, abandoned and angry at my life. I can't accept the thing they call "decree". I just can't. I used to be kind, I have been nice to people and this man has unleashed an awful beast which was hiding in me and I didn't even know about this disease. I really didn't know about life. I'm in so much pain, I can't feel anything except this horrible pain and feeling of loss and emptiness. I have no faith in anything.

    - Woman with a dead soul

    • Assalam O Alaikum sister "Woman with a dead soul",
      Sorry for my late reply, I was supposed to inform you yesterday that your comment has been published as a post. However, we need more information as to what expired between you and the person in your comments so we can help you as best as possible iA.

      Muhammad1982,
      Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

  76. I joined this site in hopes of gaining some insight and reading other ppls stories so I wudnt feel as bad but I feel as if everytime I try to get better sumthing has to mess it up.

    Im divorced, I feel old, been single for over 10 years now, was constantly abused by my ex husband, and I just never met anyone that treated me nice. I feel iike Im seriously cursed. Our family has gone to so many Alims, Religious Imams, and Sufi ppl to ask what it could be thats on our family like has someone done black magic, is there a bandish, and it turns out there is something like that (bandish: not being able to be successfull in anything.)

    Almost everyone I have talked to even after being divorced has not been serious, or been serious and then things went the other way, and just "time passed." At times I too get tired of seeing ppl around me all married and happy, ppl my age, in my culture, that I went to school with, I just feel ike a loner and like its so hard for my family and I to acheive something in life.

    I even told myself that if I dont get married again Ill accept that as this lifes temporary, but I cant believe myself sumtimes for saying that just cuz lifes so much more happier for others. Im sure they too have problems and Im not saying that my problems are just tremendous but then again how much can one bare? Im tired of asking Allah (SWT) for a gud spouse, I feel like a hopeless person, Its gotten so bad that I smoke half a pack to a pack of cigs a day, Ive even told my mother that if suicide wasnt haraam I wudve been dead a long time ago. It hurts me so much that I have to say this to my mom. I dont come from a very financially stable family so even if were trying to contact these imams or sheikhs there main concern is MONEY. Sadly, in islam too ppl dont do anything without that. I understand ones time is important but what abt helping another muslim in need? OR having them pay what is affordable.

    ITs like everywhere theres a dead end. I dont know anymore my faith is becoming weaker, and weaker. I am getting counseled but certain things like this bandish that ppl do on u, Im honestly tired of asking Allah, or even his servants for assisting us too.

    My life has become very lonely and I dont know where my parents duas go? They say that a parents duas are gone straight to Allah then y is it that Allah tests some ppl and makes them weight that long. Ive cried to my mother to ask for me to die. Im that frustrated as I have no job, never got true love or care from a nice partner, was betrayed many times (even by an ex husband) and sumtimes I even ask allah to take me bak... 🙁

    I have no motivation to pray, I want to sumtimes but its like Im lazy or just dnt want too.
    I just wish things wud change for me for once as I never wished anything wrong for anyone in my life, yet for me I been tested so much that its sad Ive asked Allah to let me die in peace or I take my life. 🙁

  77. Wonderful information. In late 2008- 2009 I went through a very difficult time in my life - I was sleeping on the floor on a mat, I hadthe yellow eviction sticker on my door, my phone was shut off, I had no money to buyminutes for my cell phone, my electricity was scheduled for shut off, I had no money for the bus to get to public assistance to get food stamps, I had to walk 2 miles in frigid temperatures with 50 cents to buy a couple packets of ramen noodles, I put liquid soap from the library to take a shower with and I had no where to go. I read this information on the computer library and I printed it out and kept it. I was so broken but I had a choice cry out to Allah or surrender to the enemy. I was very sad and embarrassed. I could not get a job because I had no money, and no phone. I felt trapped- and so alone. But I was notalone- Allah was there. I am now working for past 4 years - and have a roof over my head. Alhamdulilah!

    • Ur stories inspiring. Im happy things worked out for u.

    • Lailah, that was indeed a very rough time! So glad to hear that you are back on your feet, Alhamdulillah. There's an expression: Tough times don't last, but tough people do. Of course, as Muslims we know that our survival only happens by Allah's will.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  78. Dear Brothers & Sisters;

    As Salaam Alaikum - I have a young family member who graduated from college one year ago and has been unable to find work. We live in different cities - but I sent them the money for rent for the past year. There lease is about to end and they are very depressed - no money, no job etc. I have sent them positive material and counseled them that this is not the end. I know from whence I speak. I have referred them for counseling, offered to pay for a trip to CA etc in the last couple days. They are barely answering there emails and it appears they may have received more bad news that they have not divulged. I worked for years as a "therapist" and I am fearing the worse- but I have to tread carefully here- there are no magic bullets with counseling and or medication. I have provided "options" for digging out of this hole- living with me "couch surf" and I live in a huge city near a ton of employers in one of the top cities for jobs with easy access to massive public transportation BUT they are not receptive. PLEASE pray. They are not a Muslim but have been to the Mosque before - wondering if the local masjid in their city can offer Dawah.?

    • Maybe u shud recommend them to get in touch with the dept of employment security or workforce development, recruiters, temp agencies, I mean theres gotta be sumthing rite. Dnt loose hope may Allah make it easy for you and them.

      • As Salaam Alaikum Brothers & Sisters,

        I am elated to report my family member found job (starts on September 10th and he signed a lease for a new apartment for September 1st.

        • Walaikum Salaam,

          Im so happy for your family member and you mashAllah. May Allah give him barkat and happiness ameen. take care god bless

  79. Anything for stopping sucidal thoughts????

    • I would recommend to have a good support system if you dont, someone thats close to you preferably a family member like your mom or sister that you can talk too.

      Have you also thought abt counseling or therapy? This will help ur depressive thoughts or overcome whatever it is that ur going thru.

      And last but certainly not least, dont loose hope in Allah sister. I was feeling very depressed and down about a month ago but alhamdulillah ever since I joined this site and saw the support of others, and encouraging me not too loose hope in Allah (SWT) I ve seen a noticeable difference.

      Another thing I will recommend however many times you can remember please say this as much as possible:

      1) Ya Allahu ya rahmanu, ya raheemu
      2) La ilaha illa Allahu wahdahu laa sharika lahu, lahul mulku wa lahul hamdu, wa huwa alakulli shayyin qadeer.

      **I read #2 on an Islamic group on fb. This sister had posted this there and she had battled depression. If we keep our trust in Allah HE will not fail to help us!

  80. thanks for making the effort to write so much on the topic. It's good that it has helped people. Sadly though it doesn't make any difference to me. I think I'm too far gone. My depression feels almost physical. I've tried a lot of the things on this site for the past year but you know in the end they're only distraction tactics and can only get you by for so long. I know with absolute certainty that I would be dead by now the only reason why I'm not is because being on fire doesn't sound very fun. As for hope...I think for someone like me it is dangerous. Every time I dare to hope the depression intensifies. I don't believe in help because my circumstances are so weird that no one can help me. Sometimes I actually think it might be worth taking a gamble with suicide coz afterall Allah is merciful. I'm not holding out for paradise...absolutely not! I would be delighted if in the next life if Allah caused me not to exist..I would take that right now without any hesitation. I'm not distraught because I lost someone..i've had self esteem problems since i was a teenager, I now hate living in society, I walk away from jobs and university without any fear..that's my problem the fear of failure is not there and all I want to do is get a plane ticket to Canada and live in the canadian wilderness alone and never see another person again. If I am to live that is only way I can..otherwise I feel like hanging myself. I have no motivation or zeal for ramadan, of course I fast but heck..thats just staying hungry..something i happen to pretty good at anyway..as for praying..it just feels like a burden..i feel nothing when i pray..and i don't even feel motivated to make dua most of the time..

    • isa, I don't have any advice for you that was not already included in the article, except this: if the only thing that appeals to you is the idea of living in the wilderness, then maybe you can do that. Perhaps you can get a job with the forest service, or as a national park ranger, or working in the fields of biology or archaeology. You'll still have to interact with people but only minimally, and the exposure to nature might do you good.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Assalaamualaikam

      If you haven't already, it might help to speak with a mental health professional - there are many avenues open, such as psychotherapy, medication, counselling... There's nothing to lose and potentially a lot to gain.

      Brother, don't give up - this life is a test, and we are all tried in different ways, but the reward awaiting us in the next life is promised to make this all pale in comparison. Brother Wael's suggestion of finding a job involving nature is an excellent idea - why not try it and see? The natural world is filled with beauty, and signs that remind us of Allah's love and presence.

      I pray that Allah's strength and love sustain you through this and help you recover.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

    • U have come to the right place and you are not alone. Plz do not give up, do not let this depression take over you cuz that is what shaitaan wants brother. I also suffer from depression and this site has helped me a lot, and Im sure it can help u too but u cant be this negative. Allah isnt that unmerciful, u just have to make an effort from ur end too hun.

      Wen u feel down or alone sincerely do dua to Allah, make it simple if u have too but u will notice a change.

  81. it is good advice and i had thought about it the only difficulty lies in going back to university to gain a relevant degree. that is something i cannot do now with my social anxiety. i am very introverted now and i feel uncomfortable being in such places. I absolutely love nature but I don't think I can become any of those things you mentioned.

    The reason why I don't get help is because of the nature of my problem. I'm 27 now and from the age of 15 I developed self esteem issues. I suppressed them for many years until I could no longer. And now having fully accepted the predicament I find myself in I dislike people's company. I am emotionally distant from my parents, I think that has always been the case though. I feel no need to be close to anyone and I am content with that. I don't want to be a part of society and I know as a muslim i must be..but heck..thats how i feel. There is nothing to talk about to anyone as far as my self esteem issues are concerned. there is nothing anyone can really say to help. And i have made an effort to improve my feelings of self worth..i have a black belt in kung fu, i've been learning chinese, arabic and italian, i taught myself how to swim..but none of those things heal my wounds. i still don't feel good about myself.

    As far as tests go i understand what you mean but i find no solace in the fact that this is a test anymore. I accept people have tougher lives..but its all relative..the fact that other people go through tough times doesn't make my pain any easier to live with. i am not bitter about it..i just don't believe that i have any direction in life and I sure don't feel special or worthy of life as you mentioned in your post. These things apply to others. The prospect of living like this for another 60 years is daunting and the prospect of going to that hot, fiery place isn't much fun either.

    • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

      You actually have about 30-40+ because there is a hadith that the lifespan for this Ummah is 60 or 70.

      And in context, this is like waiting the time between Asr and Maghrib.......so your time is not only short, it's running out quickly. Forget trying to feel good about yourself, you can do that in the akhirah, Now, you just enslave yourself to Allah until death comes to you.

      وَاعْبُدْ رَبَّكَ حَتَّىٰ يَأْتِيَكَ الْيَقِينُ

      And worship your Lord until there comes to you the certainty (death).

    • That empty feeling......is an indication of lack of iman. In any case, my fellow, if you are seeking to feel good about yourself, this is only found in the akhirah.

    • Salaam brother,

      I hope u are well. I came to visit this page today since I was feeling a bit down myself and have been regularly visited this site for quite some time now.

      You are the same age as me and I can understand how self esteem issues can make you feel so hurt, as I have suffered the same thing and still am for quite some time. It will eventually become more of a depression if you dont treat it hun. Have u tried to get some sort of help or do you have a good support system?

      I know that one wants to be alone wen they feel so low abt themselves but you have to try to fight it. Thats the biggest test but its the only way u can come out. U need to come out of this shell ur in, and for that you will have to make an effort too my dear friend. I think like you I have suffered from depression from the age of 16 wen I was nikkahed at a young age of 17 and was only married for the purpose of staying in the states. My self-esteem was also badly hurt by my ex, his family, and a lot of others in my surroundings. I can totally understand how u feel and now Im in the position where its still being constantly hurt by my own siblings. Sumtimes I too feel like not living for all the pain and hurt I have endured. I went thru a bad marriage, never met the right guy, dnt have supportive siblings, and grew up in a school where there was constant taunting and verbal abuse as well. Its hard I know, but for u to leave it alone is only gna make it worst.

      I know that one doesnt want to hear that they are being tested and it doesnt help them, but wen u truly put ur heart, mind and soul knowing that Allah is there for u u feel a sense of contentment, protection and peace of mind. Try it, trust me it willhelp u!

      I felt very sad and depressed over this weekend to similar issues that u are facing but wen I turn to Allah I start to gain my strength and ability to go on. It will take a couple of tries but u have to keep ur faith in it. U need to have faith that nothing is impossible for Him and submit urself. Humans can only do so much, and time and time again we may try to find help thru humans but where do we end up coming back to Allah (SWT.)

      I really hope u take this advice as an opportunity for change: You need a good support system, talk to someone (counselor, friend, someone whom u can trust, parent, sibling,) plz start praying as much as u can and do dua trust me itll help! There are support groups for depression, self-esteem issues and they are very beneficial- they may or may not work for u but I have found them to be very helpful and u will see that ur not alone.

      Plz dnt feel sad, wen everyone else is gone do know that there is Allah who will be there by ur side.
      I know its hard to accept this lifes a test, but He will surely reward you inshAllah Ameen

      Plz take care of urself.

      --Noor

      • I'm sad to hear your story. People just don't understand how debilitating it can be to suffer from low self esteem. You can no longer function in a normal way. And no one chooses to be like that, no one decides to do that to themselves.

        Your story is tragic, worse than mine! i'm just struggling with my life because i want to go to university and study physics but with my confidence problems how is that possible? I keep postponing my application until the following year but there has to come a point when i just give up and realise it isn't going to happen. I'm not satisfied working in a 9-5 job and i'm not interested in being a dad or a husband..i just don't know what i'm going to do if i don't study..i wanted to be a researcher at uni but it seems highly unlikely. Universities have said they'd accept me but i just don't think i can handle being around so many people..i feel terrible about myself.

        so...my only 2 options are.. as ever... leave society and live in a secluded cabin in the wilderness (i like nature) or pray for death

        • @Isa:

          Salaam

          Yea well it is what it is, u cant really go bak to the past and change it rite?
          I agree, ppl just think "saying words" wont really do much wen they can really affect and hurt a person the most.

          Ummm yea I guess we all have a story, but we live and we learn rite plus it makes us stronger. I dont like pity or ppl feeling sorry becuz we all have some hardships to go thru and its how we cope with it that makes us who we are.

          LIke I mentioned earlier, ur confidence needs to rebuild through therapy, a gud support system, and of course an effort from you. Without that know one can help you till u help urself hun. Somehow you have to keep urself busy or its just gna put u in a deeper darker hole and trust me when your depressed you dont want that. Maybe u have social anxiety? Its treatable but you have to be willing to reach out for help, so ppl can treat u and do things that can keep this under control becuz u have a goal u just need the proper guidance to get to it inshAllah.

          Im sorry but those arent your two options. You have other options, but its you thats not accepting that. Yes I agree how hard it is, how stressful, debilitating. and hurtful ur self-esteem can be affected but havent other ppl come outta it? So why cant u?
          I can sit here and go on and on but I want you to think abt it and let it sink in. Ask Allah to help you He's your ultimate source. Inshallah u will be better.

  82. Salam to all of you,

    Never think of suicide and think of God and his mercy and you work for God's sake and that there's always God which will love you...

  83. wut can a person do wen there just fed up of themselves and feel like there the living problem.
    These days thats how I feel.
    I feel like a burden on my family and like ive become the problem for myself.
    Everywhere I went I was always treated badly, for ppl I cared for so much like my sisters use stuff against me abt being divorced, old and how I shud just go die.
    I wonder where all my duas, my parents duas go for asking Allah help?
    I have wanted nothing but gud for others but my patience is seriously being tested now.
    I wish I Was dead, I dnt even know y Allah gives ppl life wen they have to be hurt so much 🙁
    I know committing suicide is haraam but isnt there so much a person can take.
    I have lost hope in things as of today.
    I feel like thing happen to those that do bad (i.e. they get married on time, have kids, have money) I know that I may not know all there problems but most of these ppl r HEARTLESS.
    My question to God is y do u test those that are nothing close to them in rudeness, always want gud. Ive become so depressed I pray to allah for my own death and to take me back. The only reason im alive is for my parents or do sum good for others that are in need.
    Is it really worth it living under opression, emotional abuse, suffered from physical abuse in past, verbal abuse? OR sumtimes I think its better to just die in peace.
    Some of these ppl that write there questions here make me wonder do u honestly think waiting a year for marriage is a problem? OR y cant he be sexual with me if Im his wife? I cant stand ppl cheating from my hmwk? serioulsy theres bigger problems in this worlds. Im not disagrreing that those arent prblms but ppl are just so heartless...

    • I can really sympathise with the way you feel, Sister. But in fact the way you mention the wish for such death is so scary to me...May Allah save you and us all from such death.

      • @Issah:

        I guess wen one is so frustrated and fed up they tend to say things that wud lead them to talk so low, and depression itself is a big factor.

        It's tough, to be tested so much. I guess u don't know much cuz maybe u haven't gone thru it or maybe u hVe. But a person that can relate to the hardship and struggles one faces can understand.

        Emotional sickness and mental health is tougher to get better than a physical sickness becuz the affect it has on u. Just like Isa said, that one has to keep going. Instead of making the other person feel worst abt it being sucha scary thought, let's motivate & try to help one another.

        No one chooses to be like this. It's tough. May Allah help all those suffering from depression, or such thoughts, and make their lives peaceful... Cuz it's definitely not easy.

        • Ok. I understand you now. Let's motivate & try to help one another. I will keep you in my du'as InshaAllah.

          Please forgive me if any of my words came across as harsh or something. Usually, I lack the proper way of expressing something good, especially in the english language.

          • Thanks for understanding 🙂
            Yes definitely, we shud all be helping one another in this group.
            I will keep in duas as well.

            Its ok, I didnt mind at all dnt wrry tc

  84. i've had a difficult week too, but yesterday i was finally able to do something productive. I know its a cliche but you just need to continue surviving. Sometimes it doesnt feel like we're living like the rest of humanity..it's like we have no place in the world and we're just existing for the sake of it.

    but suicide is not an option coz it hasn't been given to us as an option. which means we have no choice but to plod on 🙁 I understand how brutal people can be and the heartache their words and actions cause. I understand how that makes us want to withdraw from them..but i think we're entitled to that much at least.

    sometimes i feel the same way, so disheartened and close to giving up..and it seems as if my prayers are never answered too. its such a hard situation, people can be so patronising and say things like 'oh well thats life its a test, get with it' but its hard to believe that what we experience is natural and normal. granted people have all kinds of difficulties in life but i don't think extreme depression is anything menial and insignificant.

    i really don't know what to say other than 'i know what you feel, perhaps our situations are different but the result is the same'

    just keep.. i dunno..going.. i guess. somehow

    • @Isa:

      Thank you for taking the time to reply.
      You sound sumwut better mA.
      Reading ur post made me feel a little better too, knowing that
      I am not the only one in this situation.
      Thanks for motivating me as well.
      Sometimes u just don't know how to handle things
      Which is y I came to this site yesterday. It's not easy to deal
      With but survival may be out only option just like u said.
      I guess there's something positive that comes out of everything hopefully so this may be one of those things.

      I
      Will continue to keep going, motivating does help. Thanks again I hope ur doing well.

      • Im happy something I said has helped. I have been feeling somewhat stable recently. Praise the Lord!

        I've just had a realisation that I'd like to share with everyone.

        All people have circumstances in life, ours just happen to be psychological and emotional. We may lack energy, motivation and desire, not just in life but also in practising our faith. I've gone through some pretty lack lustre ramadans in recent years (despite wanting to spend them wisely)

        What I've realised is this..why do we want to get better? all of us do..but why? what are our intentions? Personally I would like to be able to exert myself in dawah work and in being the best darn human being I can be..of course i have worldly ambitions too but even they would be tailored so that i can grow spiritually. Everything depends on a person's intention, so lets all intend the best we can.

        Even if I labor on like this for the rest of my life and don't really achieve what i want due to my depression, I know that Allah will (insha allah) take my intentions into consideration. It takes little or no effort to foster good intentions. Its something that we should work on.. our fate in the next world may be determined by our motives and dreams in this. Whether we're ever granted a cure by Allah and allowed the opportunity to pursue our dreams is quite another matter but we can in our own hearts dream for the sake of Allah.

        Good deeds in islam are so diverse in nature, being romantic with one's spouse, planting a tree, watering the plants, cuddling a pet, cooking, smiling, giving presents are all good deeds and are not insignificant with Allah. Granted most of us would struggle with even these things due to our condition, but we can still wish and dream of doing deeds like these, can't we? Personally, I have no spouse, but if i did I would try to give her the best life I could..that would be a type of sadaqah. I would love to watch the stars at night with her and make her laugh. But as I said it probably won't happen, i'm likely gonna be on my own until the end.

        Anyway all we can do is ask ourselves..if Allah cured me today..what would I like to do with the rest of my life?

        • @ Isa:

          Thats good Alhamdulillah I hope you and others in our situation continue to stay better.

          I liked the fact that you found a deeper meaning as to y ur really on this site and are sharing it with us.

          The fact that u have good intentions Allah will definitely help you. I have often been told that the reason y Allah tests us with certain situations like this be it emotional sickness or whatever to see how strong our faith is. U are trying and making an effort so thats definitely a good start and also positive reinforcement for ppl like me, other and even urself! : )

          I dont think anythings impossible, although wen ur depressed it may seem so hard to get back to ur "normal state of mind" but if others can y cant u, or me?

          U seem to know that all of the above mentioned are gud deeds either small or big, so instead of "wishing" make an effort to try to carry those out. Not all, but one small change at a time, take baby steps if u have too but the fact that a person tries and makes an effort does impact greatly, and makes a huge difference on there well being.

          So u brought up a very good point as to "why we want to get better?" But I also want to bring up "Why are we here on this blog?" Theres something that brought us here and we are all here for a reason rite? Many of us think that we may end up alone, or not have a spouse, speaking outta frustration, depression or hopelessness? But the fact that were all here is a good support for those that are going thru certain situations. Its best to motivate one another and try to help one another outta this negativity.
          Wen a person has good intentions, then Allah helps him too. Thats sumthing my mom always told me and I always see what my mom says ends up becoming true.
          So why do u think u wont have anyone? Ur intentions are gud, u have a good plan, yes ur depressed, ur self-esteem is hurt but that can be fixed rite? Im sure we are not the only ones going thru this, there are others as well and have overcome.

          This may be helpful to you and others here: This one time I went to a Hypnosis Info session. I know it sounds a little weird but the outcome wasnt that bad it was actually gud and it stuck in my head. So the facilitator was talking abt how negativity can really overtake a person's mind and how hypnosis can help change that in a person. So she said: "Everytime u get a negative thought, stop urself from proceeding further in thinking abt it. Be visual, if that means bring an image of a "stop sign" in ur mind, or telling ur self "stop, stop, stop" 3x then do it. Do whatever works for u. This will obviously take sum practice but I will try to see if I can find the handout and if there were other techniques brought up. Im trying to do this too, of course its not gna be easy in the beginning but it will continue to get easier.

          The question u brought up towards the end will make one want to create goals. or at least strive to succeed in them. Great job sharing!

    • May Allah be with you Brother Isa, and may He ease things for you soon. Ameen

      I really don't know why I hesitated writing you. I had to delete and rewrite many times, till I said the above du'a.

  85. I really like this post. MashaAllah. It's very useful. JazakAllahu Khairan Br. Wael.

    • We need to observe our state of ibadahs. And then if they are at the lowest state, we must do better to increase them and do them properly. If they are done properly, we need to do better to increase the level of the yaqeen when doing them. We should do this constantly till we get to the state where we could feel the complete Tawakkul of Allah in us, and where we could say to ourselves that, "The only reason we are living is for Allah, and not for our parents or anyone else". If we see ourselves in such manner, then it means we are now in the state of tranquility. Most of the times, the reason why we can't get to this state easily, is due to our lack of complete Tawakkul (the complete trust in Allah s.a.w), as the Prophet (s.a.w.s) said, "If you put your whole trust in Allah, as you ought, He most certainly will satisfy your needs, as He satisfies those of the birds. They come out hungry in the morning, but return full to their nests." (Tirmidhi)

      See the story of Prophet Ayyub (s.a.w.s). He was one of the most beloved servants of Allah. He was a good person and he did many charitable work for people with his wealth. But Allah tested him and took away everything from him. And despite all that, he never questioned Allah about why he was brought into this world and putting into the distress. However, when he finally called on Allah, his call was answered from above the seven heavens.

      The secret in the difference between us and the Prophet Ayyub (s.a.w.s) is that, he felt the complete Tawakkul of Allah, whereas we feel less Tawakkul of Allah.

      The Prophet (s.a.w.s) said,

      “Pray to Allah while you feel yaqeen (certain) of an answer. And know that Allah does not answer a prayer from an indifferent, playful heart.” [Tirmidhi 3490]

      And again he (s.a.w.s) said,

      "Al-Ihsan is to worship Allah (with yaqeen) as though you see Him, and though you do not see Him, you really feel that He sees you.” [Sahîh al Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]

      One thing about how to successfully attain the Tawakkul is that, we should not go after it because we want our prayers to be answered after it. With this intention, the way could be diffcult for us to attain it. But if we go after it just because we want to become closer to Allah, the way will become easy for us to attain it plus many other things all together, InshaAllah.

      Please watch this vedio

      • Very good video and thank u for sharing. You also brought a very good point although it has very deep meaning but once sumone sticks to it they start to realize how positive they can start to feel iA.

        Jazakallah

  86. I'm not sure what the purpose is (for me finding this site) maybe I would have gone insane by now if i hadn't found it i don't know. lol

    as far as why i'm gonna be alone..i'm not a good looking person and so i'm not good enough to be with anyone. you get used to being alone though

    • @ Isa: I agree with you I think I would've been in more difficult state of mind if I didn't come across this site, so Allah definitely brought us here for a reason.

      As far as looks are concerned, yes there shud be sum physical attraction but in the end it's the person's character, personality and heart that matter. U have good intentions, and like I mentioned earlier Allah will surely help those with good niyyat.

      I know one gets used to being alone trust me, I'm in the same boat as u... At times one may think there ok but there's times wen they wonder how things wud be if they had sumone. Hope is all we have.

    • AsSalaamu Alaikum my beloved Brother Isa,

      Yes. This site is really so great and wonderful, MashaAllah. I recently just explored many of the useful and interesting topics it has already covered, Alhamdulillah. And may Allah bless and reward the founder, Br. Wael.

      Also Brother Isa. You are very good enough to be with someone, InshaAllah. You see what you said above concerning how you are willing to make your future wife happy and etc, that in itself qualifies you to be able to be with someone. In fact, that is everything (sadaqah) you could ever give to someone to make them feel good in life, and it is what will make you feel and look physically and spiritually good too. According to the Prophet (s.a.w.s), smiling before your brother is sadaqah, let alone making your beloved wife happy and laugh.

      You said "Personally, I have no spouse, but if i did I would try to give her the best life I could..that would be a type of sadaqah. I would love to watch the stars at night with her and make her laugh." The Prophet (saws) said: "Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well." (Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 628)

      So Brother, please stick to this thought and see how you could make it happen in reality. I'd also suggest that you try at least to get married soon. You might think that you are not ready, but just little efforts could get you there inshaAllah. You may not know how the marriage could be the source of easing many of the distresses, through the blessings of Allah.

      You and I seem the same. We use the same name and are around the same age group. But I got married Alhamdulillah, and I find comfort and happiness in making my wife happy too. I believe you could also find comfort and happiness in making your wife happy InshaAllah. I also love to make my wife laugh, and I love to have some walk with her and drink some ice cream. She also loves it when I make tea/coffe for her (though she loves cappuccino, and I am learning how to make the most excellent one for her InshaAllah-lol). We also enjoy the fresh air outside at some nights while eating ice cream and seeing the beautiful sky above us with the nice moon and stars. Why not give it a try brother??? Just put all your trust in Allah and make the efforts to achieve what you want. He will suffice you.

      "…And whoever fears Allah—He will make a way out for him. And will provide for him from where he never expected. Whoever relies on Allah—He will suffice him. Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has set a measure to all things…..Whoever fears Allah—He will make things easy for him."
      (Quran 64: 2-4)

      Also, you want to be able to exert yourself in dawah work and in being the best darn human being you can be, just like myself. Dawah and helping others for the sake of Allah, plus doing zikr a lot (while putting all my trust in Allah) makes me forget all my sorrows and pains in life.

      "...And when you make a decision, put your trust in Allah; Allah loves the trusting. (Quran 3: 159)

      In fact, trusting in Allah has been the only thing I have known in life, as it has always been the only thing I have experienced throughout my whole life, and I really really believe and feel its reality - it really works. I even see it as the only solution to all problems in the world. Of course, we don't just trust in Allah while sitting at one place. We make our doors opened for the things that we are expecting or even go after them, while completely trusting in Allah at the same time.

      May Allah bless you for taking your time to read this from me, as your brother.

      • thanks for your message my friend, it was very motivational.

        I'm happy that your marriage is going well, may it stay that way too.

        For me money is an issue, I don't know where you guys live, i live in england in the UK and it isnt easy here. Well i don't suppose its easy anywhere actually. But here for a single person to live on their own is so expensive even if they suffice with basic accommodation. If you work full time then you might just earn enough to pay off the bills and make it through the week and save maybe £50 if you're lucky..(thats about $80 for any americans on this site). So how is it even possible to get married and provide for another person?

        Secondly i've never been confident about how i look. Its never really bothered me coz i've always just got on with other things in life. But now for marriage i have to confront how i feel about myself and stop ignoring it. And it really hurts coz seriously i don't think anyone's gonna say yes to me lol. I'm not keen on getting rejecting again and again..so i just think its safer to carry on on my own.

        My friend recently encouraged me to join a muslim matrimoney site and i ran into the same problems there. A few people who were interested asked me to put up a picture but i just didn't feel like being rejected so i didn't upload one. And so obviously nothing worked out.

        Also its very difficult to see myself like that, when a person has spent their life being unromantic and distant and has never had any interest from anyone...you just feel like a tree or a rock, you don't really feel like you're something someone likes and wants to marry. If you understand the analogy?

        • AsSalaamu Alaikum Brother,

          Thank you very much for responding to me, and Jazakallahu Khair for the Du'a. I pray for you the same.

          As for the money issue, I don't know what exactly is preventing you from trying to work hard to save some money for sustenance in life. Maybe you should think about this very well, and then find the proper way to stand on your feet. I do not know your situation very well, so I can't advise you much on this. But I believe you can really do it yourself, Insha Allah.

          You also mentioned that you are not confident about your look. However brother, I think we should be content with everything Allah has made us.

          There are two types of good looking. One is attainable and the other is natural. Examine yourself and then know what your case is. If it's attainable, work towards attaining it (through working out, eating and drinking good etc). If it's natural then be content with it, and know that there is nothing wrong with the natural look, as it is subjective and that people look at the same thing differently. So in the end, it will depend on the eye of the beholder (your beloved wife InshaAllah). Most importantly, improve your inner part in addition to your Deen, as you have the control over doing so. If anyone doesn't like you because of your look, it's not your problem, let them gooooooo far away from you (because in fact, they do not deserve people with good heart like you) and be proud of what Allah has given you. Perhaps the perfect religious woman that Allah has created for you hasn't appeared yet, and will soon appear Insha Allah (but don't forget you need to go find her and bring her home, as she may be anxiously expecting you too).

          Feel free to upload your photo on the site you mentioned, and then you will know that who ever accepts you for who you are, is the one you have been waiting for so long.

          Also, work hard on your financial status together with your Deen, and then go look for her at the same time. When you search for her, please don't be so picky but focus on her religious side. As being so picky could lead to losing something precious in life, and through that the world becomes full of corruption. May Allah help you find her very soon! Ameen.

          As to being a person who has spent his whole life being unromantic, isn't a bad thing before marriage at all. Everyone is naturally romantic and we get to explore much about ourselves when we get married. Women also are born to help men explore what they are, as they really have special gifts from Allah to do so. I wasn't a social nor a romantic person too before marriage. I didn't even like to go out with friends nor speak with them a lot, but (by the grace of Allah) my wife has made me able to speak confidently, and feel good about social life (she encouraged me to speak and express my feelings, when I seemed speechless and shy, and now I am the one singing like those birds around the dawn -lol- and my friends also tease me by saying I am now romantic whenever I speak to them). So brother just pray that Allah blesses you with a wonderful and religious wife whom you can make laugh and play together like the little twin friends, and grow up together in the love of Allah. And InshaAllah, you shall come to understand what you are, and what you are capable of doing.

          Oh, the Adhan is being called for Jummah, so Jummah Mubarak Brother!

  87. @Noorkh786

    The hypnosis stuff you mentioned is quite interesting because I have been doing something similar this year. It's a type of Japanese meditation called mushin (literally no mind). Those of you who have seen the last samurai might know what it is.

    Mushin is used mainly in Japanese martial arts as a way of enhancing combat ability..its a type of mental conditioning. There are parallels in other martial arts of course, for example I teach a Chinese gung fu system and we have something quite similar as our primary form. And the slow, deliberate movements of tai chi are designed to work on the mind as well as the body.

    Anyway back to mushin... all you do is sit still and focus on your breathing (slow and deep) and think of NOTHING! Thats it. try it for 5 mins and then longer each day. This year during the summer I used to wake up at sunrise, sit in the garden and train mushin daily for 30mins. Although i did it initially as a way of improving my gung fu performance it did help loads with my depression. serendipity eh..

    But you should all try it if you can. Its better outside in the fresh air. i think thats coz maybe nature has a healing effect too..

    buona sera all

    • @isa:

      Salaam,

      I will definitely try this moshin thing u mentioned. I also wud lke to try to medidate & do yoga heard that can help a lot.

      That's great how ur practicing certain things to help u with ur depression.
      I find that namaaz helps too and brings peace to mind, I'm trying to get better at praying more becuz namaaz is def a form of meditation.

  88. thanks for your message. i take it that you live in the middle east or maybe europe? given that you mentioned the adhaan at this time of day.

    thanks for the duas too.

    dunno if i'm brave enough to do the things you said. I feel ok at home but when i go outside to university or work or anything i feel ashamed of myself and embarrased coz in the past my friends always made fun of me and said i looked different from them. I had the same problem at work and uni. first i tried to ignore it then it got too much. i feel fine wen i'm on my own..but when i have to go out i feel very conscious of how i must look. i feel really ashamed. if i go to the supermarket, bank, work i feel ashamed of myself. i know people will be thinking the same things about me so it makes it very uncomfortable. i can't work in most places where other people can work. I'm very limited to work coz i don't like working with other people. not because i hate other people but because people have made me think i am ugly and now i feel too embarassed about myself in public.

    I went to 2 different universities and the same thing happened. i don't have enough options to earn a living. every job i do get i can only do for a little while then i quit because i hate people's comments about me. i know people have harder lives than me but i've struggled with this for so long and i just feel like crying. like i have no way out of this problem. its worse because as a guy i'm not expected to feel like this. im supposed to act like nothing affects me. but i feel terrible about myself. i just don't understand how i'm gonna live in this world whilst feeling this way. Now do you understand why i think i'm too ugly to get married?

    • AsSalaamu Alaikum Brother,

      I see. It seems to me that the source of your situation started from what people said about you, and you believed them. However, you were supposed to believe the contrary, and it's not late to fix it now InshaAllah. It doesn't seem to me that those rude people were good Muslims at all, as this kind of behavior is unacceptable in Islam. Perhaps, you need to be close to good Muslim friends; they will motivate you and make you feel good InshaAllah.

      Though it's good to know that you are planning to go back to uni. This is a good idea. And I pray that Allah will guide you through this till you start and complete it successfully. Ameen.

      As for you working/studying and quitting because of people's comments about your look, I think you should know what you are looking for, and be ready to bear the test and adversities on your way. How long will it take to achieve what you want? It may not take more than 3 to 5 years InshaAllah.

      One thing I understood from your statement "there is nothing anyone can really say to help" is that the key to your prosperity is really in your own hand, and not in the hand of anybody. You can really do it brother. Just try hard to forget what people say and then give yourself the feeling of braveness and you shall do it, InshaAllah. May Allah help you.

      Anyway, I live in Qatar. There are many Masjids around where I live, so the Adhaan is always heard from many different angles before each salah, and the one we usually pray in is just right in front of us (it takes less than 2 minutes walk to enter it), but sometimes in the winter we would prefer to walk to the other far away Masjid during Fajir to warm up a little due to the cold weather.

      May Allah help you and us all.

  89. Assalaamualaikam

    Brother, I've just come across your post, and I ask you to reconsider.

    If you have access to a mental health on-call service, please contact them. If not, please go to your doctor or to hospital, and ask for help, if you feel you are at risk of ending your life.

    It may seem like nothing can get better, but with help and support, you can beat this, inshaAllah.

    I pray that Allah eases your burdens.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  90. Salaam brother,

    omg whats happened? U seemed to be doing fine the past couple weeks or even month almost. Plz dnt feel this low, I dont know where u are but the last I remember u were in the UK? I highly encourage u to call a crisis line where they can be immediate support to u.

    What has triggered such feelings that u feel suicidal or this low? I was actually feeling very depressed and down and almost felt as bad as u did but alhamdulillah I did dua and sincerely turned to Allah and now feel a lot better than I did at that time...But then I learned that during my monthly time PMS triggers my depression way more.

    So plz talk to us here and tell us let us be of some support to u, aside from calling one of those hotlines, and also u really need to seek medical attention. May Allah protect u.

    tc

    • ok well talk to me, whats wrong hun?
      Theres hope trust me. I was feeling just as sick as u and I got better see.
      Ur not alone 🙁
      Plz dnt be so sad, if u dnt wanna talk to the helpline can u try to talk to me here.

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Brother, if you are in the UK, please call 999 or contact your local Crisis team (specialist mental health nurses) - most places in the UK have 24/7 Psychiatrists that you can see, who can inshaAllah get you the help you need.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

    • salaam brother isa,

      I didnt hear back from u at that time just hope ur okay.
      tc

      --N

      • Isa first and foremost please try to calm ur self a little. I know ur distraught and u feel like nothing is gna work but until ur not in a "calm" state of mind u may not even understand wut sumone is trying to say across to u.

        I think ur being way too hard on urself. Its time to reassess urself and see where there needs change. U mentioned u take antidepressants, I also take them but theres antiidepressants that can make u feel worst than others and have suicidal thoughts.

        1) Please get in touch with ur Dr. and find out y these meds are acting this way, or u need to be reassessed.

        2) Plz stop being so hard on urself. U have one mind and it can only take so much I think ur anxious and need to take one thing at a time. Yes, ppl are gna say wut they want and even if its family but YOU urself has to take initiative and be strong. Let them say wut they want u worry abt u and be comfortable in how u want to take things, please dnt overwhelm urself by what ppl say, its only gna make things wrst,

        3) When u feel at ur lowest, like u dnt wanna live, u cant exist, think of those ppl that are also facing the same thing as u. You arent alone sweetheart, there are ppl that are suffering too. Im not saying ur pain or suffering is less than theirs but plz think abt the Prophets, ppl are suffering in most parts of the world, we arent the only ones going thru this so plz try to keep ur spirits up hun.

        4) Ur my age. Im also 27 Coincidentally, u and I have thought the same abt not wanting to live but its ppl and support we need that helps us get through this. U need support, sumone to talk too, sumone that can help u outta this. How do u go abt ur day? Do u talk to friends? If ur not comfortable sharing things with them abt ur problems then u always have this place to share things with and let off a burden and not feel so upset or depressed.

        5) Ive noticed wen im really really down writing things or journaling if ur in the mood can help release ur emotions tht are all kept in. Plz try this.

        Lastly, U can talk to me here if u feel comfortable and Im here to listen to u and try to help u. I can relate since Ive been depressed and know how u feel.

        tc and plz feel better 🙂

        Noor

  91. AsSalaamu Alaikum,

    Brother, fear Allah and know that the life which Allah Has given you has a purpose. Fulfill all the religious duties which He has assigned to you, and then wait till He calls you for Akhirah. Do not rush in meeting Allah without preparation.

    Know - may Allah save you - that just as the happiness in Akhirah will be greater than what is in this Dunya, the punishment of Allah will also be very severe than any pain you feel now in this Dunya. So do not leave the smaller pain to dwell in the greater pain.

    Allah says: "Inform My servants that I am the Forgiver, the Merciful. And that My punishment is the painful punishment."
    (Quran 15: 49-50)

    I'd also suggest that you do ruqya for yourself or get it done for you by any Raqi around your place. Even though you have a problem, but I am pretty sure that this suicide thoughts only come from the cursed shaitaan. So do not accept the call of Shaitan, as he will laugh at you after you die and see the reality.

    Allah says:

    16. Like the Shaitaan, when he says to the human being, “Disbelieve.” But when he has disbelieved, he says, “I am innocent of you; I fear Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.”

    17. The ultimate end for both of them is the Fire, where they will dwell forever. Such is the requital for the wrongdoers.

    18. O you who believe! Fear Allah, and let every soul consider what it has forwarded for the morrow, and fear Allah. Allah is Aware of what you do.

    19. And do not be like those who forgot Allah, so He made them forget themselves. These are the sinners.

    20. Not equal are the inhabitants of the Fire and the inhabitants of Paradise. It is the inhabitants of Paradise who are the winners.

    21. Had We sent this Quran down on a mountain, you would have seen it trembling, crumbling in awe of Allah. These parables We cite for the people, so that they may reflect.

    (Quran 59: 16-21)

    Also, please listen to this ruqya everyday (morning and evening). InshaAllah you will be ok.

    • My Dear Brother, I wish I could help you more. Anyway, may Allah ease things for you, and guide you and us all. Ameen!

      • Anyway, if you think it's a good idea, you could request for my email address and then let us be in touch through email or facebook. Perhaps, being friends will help both of us, InshaAllah.

      • AsSalaamu Alaikum Brother, I hope you are alright, InshaAllah. I'd like to hear from you ok.

  92. Im hanging in there. Thank you for your concern. thank you everyone. still don't know what i will do though. its the future that i find daunting.

    • Alhamdulillah to know that you are around. Did you try the Ruqya Brother? May Allah be with you. Ameen!

    • @Isa: no problem anytime.
      Wut are u doing these days? Plz Dnt worry abt the future love in the present.
      Yes, it can be worrisome for us to think abt the future and where things are going but do know Allah has a plan for u too and everyone else. If u continue to worry abt the future Ull create more of a problem.
      I hope u r feeling better.

      • Just stuck at this boring job for royal mail. (which is like UPS or FedEx over there in the US)
        I don't know how long i can keep it up there. Also wanna move outta my parent's place, but everywhere is too expensive. Thinking of going to the forest about 4 miles away and building myself a nice shelter and just living there.

        Pretty much resigned myself to the idea of not going to university coz my anxiety will just get worse. I can't be around people. So looks a bit gloomy. coz im not to keen about just toiling away in dead end jobs for the next few decades. I work ultra hard, sometimes i don't even take breaks at work and my managers are impressed with my work ethic but all these jobs are so mentally draining. My mind is craving something more than just sorting out parcels. I wanna study theoretical physics or summat..but alas..this is my life. But yeah that forest is the best idea i've had in ages.

        • @ Isa:

          hope ur feeling a little better 🙂
          Well a job is better than no job rite at least for the time being. In the meantime u can keep ur eyes open and apply to jobs that interest u & u aren't so bored at. But to me I think keeping busy will help u in ur state of mind. As far as moving out, until ur not established enough financially I wouldn't recommend. U can try to keep busy but I know that's hard to wen ones depressed cuz sumtimes it can be dragging for me too but that's the biggest test.
          If living in the forest makes u happy then do it, but idk how safe that is so plz keep in mind.

          U have a lot of intellect and potential as I mentioned earlier. If there are certain topics and fields which interest u y Dnt u take online courses? This will not be so bad on ur anxiety of going to uni physically and u can work at the convenience of ur own home, or ur space. That's not a bad idea rite. 🙂 at least ur making working progress towards something that interests u and not wasting ur time, and in the mean time work part time at Royal Mail.

          I was thinking I saw another user here asked to get brother Wael's permission to try to stay in touch. If you want to that's fine with me and Wael can contact me for my email, so I'm not writing a msg here everyday and taking up space?

          Tc have a good one 🙂

        • Assalaamualaikam

          Alhamdulillah, I'm pleased you're still here with us.
          Never forget that even when you feel alone, you have brothers and sisters around the world, who love you as a brother, for the sake of Allah.
          If you feel able to, I'd recommend getting the number of your local Crisis team, so that if you feel that low you have someone to contact who can offer in-person advice as well as online - you should be able to get the number from your GP, or from your local health board's website, inshaAllah.

          Midnightmoon
          IslamicAnswers.com editor

        • Salaam,

          Hope ur doing okay?

  93. Salaam.

    Yes thank you. Im just working on my arabic and italian at the moment. Thought i would try to something productive once again.

    Shukran wa grazie

    • Ws,

      Good to hear.

      • Most of u on this page who hve tried to explain ur problem have received some sort of help and guidance.
        I feel better wen I try to help others but sadly I can't help myself. I try so so hard to feel better, have hope but I'm continuously disappointed. Sum of u may have problems of anxiety, some depression like me, abs then there's some that are in troubled situations.
        I'm fine wen I stay busy but the feeling of loneliness is almost like killing me inside. I just Dnt know anymore. I wanna stay positive but then I'm disappointed. It hurts me a lot to see that I'm an old grl who's 27, and nvr ,met the right guy. We all need sumone at sum point but I feel unfortunate, worthless, hurt, low self esteem, and find myself to be unusual cuz I'm single. Brothers and sisters is there any dua for happiness, or love to come in our life? I'm tired of asking Allah, if He knows how depressed & lonely sumone is then y r they put thru this. I'm too scared to die by committing suicide and I Dnt want to hurt my family especially parents, but I nvr had anyone that cared for me or loved me. If Allah can't listen to his servants can't he just take us back? I'm not saying I'm depending on a guy for happiness, but we all live in this world & Unfortunately see those ppl around us who have sumone. If Allah can't give me happiness in life I pray He takes me back 🙁

        • Assalam alaikum,

          You are NOT old at all. I know how you feel.

          After suffering through depression (and currently as well while resisting any drug therapy as that scares me), one thing that has helped me a lot is not using society's definitions as measuring tools for my own self-worth. It is really hard to do it, but I sincerely believe it can be done by redirecting your thoughts and creating new positive thoughts.

          May Allah ease your pain, Ameen.

          • Ws,

            Thanks, I will try to be more positive and I do feel sumwut better by going to support groups, and such.

            I dont keep my expectations high becuz it hurts. So I rather kno that I may stay like this, and its better to accept it. I hate being hopeful cuz nothing ever goes that way.

        • I empathise with you sister. I understand what it is like. I'm 27 too and never had any relationship with anyone whatsoever. Which is a good thing, but most of the people i know have wives and children now. My younger sister is married and she has her own place with her husband..

          A few years ago i made a conscious decision to remain single for the rest of my life. That took care of the loneliness problem. I've never looked back since. Sometimes people make me feel like my life is deficient and less meaningful than theirs because I don't have a wife.

          I don't know if you have but maybe you should try websites like singlemuslim.com. You can write about yourself and potentially meet someone from anywhere in the world. My sister found her husband via a muslim matrimony site.

          I know its a cliche but try not to give up just yet. If i remember correctly you were married previously but the guy was an epic moron? i'm really sorry about that. In the ummah today its very tough for divorced sisters to remarry coz of the stigma

          I know loneliness can be debilitating, especially when all around you are happy couples. its disconcerting and rightly so. but i think you should try several different websites (if you have not already) and also pray tahajjud and make dua.

          Mosques here in England usually help people meet potential marriage partners, i don't know if across the pond u guys have stuff like that..but im assuming so? try to avail yourself of it sister.

          Trust me that elusive dua that we're all seeking for death is hard to find!

          • Im 27 but I feel like Ive lived the life of a 40 yr old already sumtimes.
            I did meet ppl even after my divorce which was 10 yrs ago but they were all wrong so constant disappointment isnt the best either, My relatives and sister has helped me wiht this single muslim thing but there wasnt much luck on there either.

            Ive learned to accept that things just wont happen or u shud always be ready for a y and no answer in life cuz things dnt always go as we want them too and its better to just go abt ur life like that sumtimes.

            yes its harder cuz I was married before. Wut bothers me and I try so hard not to think abt it is that other grls that were married before found nice guys and one grl I know even has a kid from his previous marriage. How unfair is that? Wenever I think abt being single or alone like this it sinks me into depression again so its very hard not to think abt it yet easy to fall in that trap again.

            mosques do things there in england but over here they dnt. Everyone is very selfish sadly well at least in the city I live in. But, im gna accept that I will be alone cuz I dnt wanna ask dua it hurts. My moms the only supportive one, my dad blames me and doesnt understand wt* depression can do to u. Im sure u know its hard to push urself to dua or pray wen u feel like this I dnt ask for anything anymore.

            Sumtimes its better to not ******* care then to be miserable.

        • AsSalaamu Alaikum my Dear Sister,

          InshaAllah, when the right time comes for Allah to bestow His mercy on you, nothing can deprive you from the Mercy of Allah (not even your age)...
          "His command, when He wills a thing, is to say to it, “Be,” and it comes to be.
          (Quran 36: 82)

          Allah says:

          In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.

          1. Kaf, Ha, Ya, Ayn, Saad.

          2. A mention of the mercy of your Lord towards His servant Zechariah.

          3. When he called on his Lord, a call in seclusion.

          4. He said, “My Lord, my bones have become feeble, and my hair is aflame with gray, and never, Lord, have I been disappointed in my prayer to you.

          5. “And I fear for my dependents after me, and my wife is barren. So grant me, from Yourself, an heir.

          6. To inherit me, and inherit from the House of Jacob, and make him, my Lord, pleasing.”

          7. “(His Lord called out to him, as he stood praying in the sanctuary) O Zechariah, We give you good news of a son, whose name is John, a name We have never given before.”

          8. He said, “My Lord, how can I have a son, when my wife is barren, and I have become decrepit with old age?”

          9. He said, “It will be so, your Lord says, ‘it is easy for me, and I created you before, when you were nothing.’”
          (Quran 19: 1-9)

  94. Me, Brother. However, I feel perfection during and after Tahajjud, Alhamdulillah. May Allah be with you, Brother. Ameen!

    • well thats my point he isnt with me.

      he hates me

      i dont even feel enthusiastic enough to strive to do good deeds. i'll go through the motions but thats it. last year i went to taraweeh once in ramadan..got fed up and left after 15mins..the year before that it was the same..ramadan means nothing to me..coz i cant make dua..everyone else can. but i dont know wat to talk to Allah about.

      • You said, you left the taraweeh after 15 mins? How did you feel when you heard the Holy Quran being recited? If you didn't feel anything, then it means your heart is the problem and not Allah. Perhaps, this is why you don't know what to tell Allah.

        Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (r.a) said, 'search for your heart in three places:-1- At the places for listening to the Holy Quran -2- At the places of Zikr -3- At the hours of seclusion. If you did not find it in those places, then ask Allah to bless you with a heart, for you have no heart."

        Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (r.a) said again, "Whoever, wants to know that he loves Allah, should place himself with the Quran, for whoever loves the Quran, loves Allah because the Quran is the speech of Allah."

        Brother, do you love Allah?
        Do you love reading/listening to the Holy Quran?
        Do you love doing zikr, and do you feel it?

        Maybe, you should work on improving the level of your love for Allah, and the level of your love for the Holy Quran and the level of your love for doing zikr.

        May Allah be with you Brother. Ameen!

  95. wats the point in making dua? i mean what does it achieve.

    • As-salamu alaykum brother isa,

      I edited out your comment because this kind of extreme negativity is not what the other readers of this page need to see. We get a lot of people visiting this page in particular - the "Suicide in Islam" page I mean - who are quite vulnerable. At this point I'm going to suggest that you log in and write your question as a separate post, or add a new comment to your already published post, please.

      I strongly suggest that you see a therapist on a weekly basis. A good therapist can help you get to the root of your depression and find ways to overcome it.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • as a matter of fact i do like listening to the quran a lot. the reason i left taraweeh was coz it was being read too fast and i didnt like that. i usually love to listen to it on my own. i dont feel the ramadan spirit coz duas that get rejected ALL the time make u feel pretty pathetic.

        THere is no need to see a therapist, i dont understand wat a therapist is gonna do wen i've known for years and years the root of my problem..that i feel rubbish due to people taking the out of me

        i dont feel comfortable with the outside world coz i dont trust it.

        how would you feel if you made the effort to make dua for years but never got any response. People at school/university/girls/boys/people at work have all made comments about me to my face about my face. some of them 'friends' some of them complete strangers. You think i like being the butt of everyones jokes. you think i find being in my own skin comfortable and like going to work and seeing other people treat me with contempt. well i dont. it makes me feel worthless, i have to turn down opportunities in life that would otherwise interest me. I had to give up on my martial arts, i became an instructor only to throw it away. i had to give up the chance to go to uni and study a subject i really loved..its really pretty harsh to suggest that my heart is the problem..but why am i surprised wen the world hates me to death

        • isa, you say that you "had to give up on martial arts" and that you "have to turn down opportunities."

          No, you don't have to. Those are choices you make. If you made it to instructor level in martial arts then obviously you are capable of sticking with it for a long period of time. Giving up is a choice.

          You say you don't need a therapist but you are using us as virtual therapists. I think having someone you can rely on in the real world would help you.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Brother Isa, It seems there were two options for you, the spiritual way (through the Holy Quran) and the psychological way (through a therapist). However, since you love listening to the Holy Quran, I think the only one option left is the psychological way. So why not just try and see a therapist in person, and then tell us what happens, inshaAllah? May Allah be with you. Ameen!

          • The two options do not have to be separate. I saw a Muslim therapist for a couple of years, back in 2003 & 2004. She was very helpful, and her advice did not contradict Islam in any way.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Brother Isa,I have read some of your posts & they show only pessimism & negativity towards life.
          Why are you so worried what other people say about you or the world thinks of you. What matter's is what you think of yourself, stop comparing yourself to others focus on the good & ignore the shortcomings. Get out of your own way! That’s right, I’m talking to you. Sometimes the only thing that is stopping you from moving forward in life is yourself. Quit getting in your own way, quit saying I can’t…go for it. Be confident that you CAN do it!
          If a farmer hold grains in his hands & prays the whole night to Allah for a bumper harvest overnight, will that happen?? No !! Instead he has work hard tilling the land,sow the seeds, water them,take care of the crop & protect them from animals & pest & put his trust in Allah for a bumper harvest.

          Nicholas James Vujicic (born on 4 December 1982), born and raised in Melbourne, Australia, is a preacher and motivational speaker -- born with Tetra-amelia syndrome, a rare disorder characterized by the absence of all four limbs.
          The day he was born, his mother told doctors to take him away, she would not accept him as her child till he was four months old . He only has two small fingers or toes like chicken drum sticks, his father taught him to hold a pencil & write. On his parents insistence he went to a normal school rather than a school for the disabled. In school he learned writing, typing and swimming ,but was teased, heckled & bullied by the other kids.
          Fed up,at age eight, he says"I could not see a bright future ahead and I became depressed. When I was ten years old, I decided to end my life by drowning myself in a bathtub. After a couple attempts, I realized that I did not want to leave my loved ones with the burden and guilt that would result from my suicide. I could not do that to them."
          At age thirteen he hurt his foot, which he used for many things like typing, writing and swimming. That injury made him realize that he need to be more thankful for his abilities and less focused on my disabilities

          Eventually he came to terms with his disability, a janitor at his high school inspired him to start speaking about his faith and overcoming adversity and he started his own non-profit organization Life Without Limbs -- at age seventeen.

          Vujicic graduated from Griffith University at the age of 21 with a Bachelor of Commerce, with a double major in accountancy and financial planning. Vujicic presents motivational speeches worldwide, on life with a disability, hope, and finding meaning in life,he has travelled more than 50 countries & gave 2000+ speeches. These days he lives in California in a posh villa with his wife & son , yes,yes,yes....he married a beautiful lady Kanae Miyahara in 2012.
          Brother please watch his video, it's truly inspiring for all of us.
          Nicholas James Vujicic _No arms.._ No legs.._ No worries!

        • Success never came from getting too comfortable with anything-usually it happens when a person gets a little bit too uncomfortable.

          The truth is, that many of us, find this website in search of our own challenges/difficulties/depression (and so on), so many of us do understand what you are going through--we DO relate to many of the things you speak about.

          The thing that you might not realize is that seeing a therapist would do you some good--you can't know that by never experiencing it--or at least you can't say it wouldn't do any good since you haven't been to one.

          Many of us make du'a regularly and our du'as are not answered. Just because they are not answered, doesn't mean they are not heard. Besides, all the du'as that are not responded to--will benefit us on the Day of Judgement. When we see that benefit, we will wish at that point that none of our du'as were answered. It could also be that Allah swt does not answer your du'a because He has selected something better than what you asked for, or that you are being hasty, or some other reason that is based on His wisdom and not your thinking. We have to accept that Allah is Wiser than us--and our challenges in our life are not proof that Allah swt doesn't listen.

        • salaam brother isa:

          I hope ur doing okay.

    • Assalaamualaikam

      I would strongly suggest you try to speak to a doctor about how you are feeling, particularly if this has been going on for a long time. It may be that there are physical or mental factors contributing to what has been happening, that can be treated. For example, low levels of certain hormones can make people's depression or unhappiness worse, but this is treatable with medication. We cannot necessarily change how others treat us, but we can change how we react to them and work to be mentally and physically stronger.

      Talking therapies may be helpful in order to develop ways of overcoming the thoughts and feelings you have been struggling with. From your posts you seem an intelligent and quite analytically - minded person, so practical therapies which target specific goals might help you. If you speak to your GP, they should be able to refer you to a specialist service inshaAllah.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

  96. I don't think that hell is better than whatever distress you are going through in Dunya right now. Perhaps, you haven't seen the hell yet, so it may sound to you as if it's better than Dunya pains. However, if you get there and then become convinced about it, you will wish to come back to Dunya, and it will be too late to do so (May Allah forbid this to happen. Ameen!).

    Allah (s.w.t) says:

    " (O Muhammed) If only you could see the guilty (on the day of Al-Qiyamah), bowing their heads before their Lord (and saying): “Our Lord, we have seen and we have heard, so send us back (to Dunya), and we will act righteously; we are now convinced (of the painful torment).” (Quran 32: 12)

    "Those who reject Our revelations—We will scorch them in a Fire. Every time their skins are cooked, We will replace them with other skins, so they will experience the suffering. God is Most Powerful, Most Wise." (Quran 4: 56)

    Anas b. Malik reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said that one amongst the denizens of Hell who had led a life of ease and plenty amongst the people of the world would be made to dip in Fire only once on the Day of Resurrection and then it would be said to him:
    "O, son of Adam, did you find any comfort, did you happen to get any material blessing? He would say: By Allah, no, my Lord. And then that person from amongst the persons of the world be brought who had led the most miserable life (in the world) from amongst the inmates of Paradise. and he would be made to dip once in Paradise and it would be said to him. 0, son of Adam, did you face, any hardship? Or had any distress fallen to your lot? And he would say: By Allah, no,0 my Lord, never did I face any hardship or experience any distress."
    (Sahih Muslim)

    May Allah ease things for you, Brother. Ameen!

  97. I'm not angry, and I'm not telling you to shut up. I'm suggesting that you submit a new post, or write these comments on your previously published post.

    I deleted your other recent comments.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  98. Asslamualeikum brothers and sisters:

    I dont know where to begin
    I used to the be the one writing words of comfort not too long ago for sum ppl here and now Im the one that needs it.

    i feel so alone, I dnt know wut to do sumtimes, I want to pray, but I have no motivation. I have been prescribed more meds and I feel like there not working adn I have contacted my Dr. but I guess this is how it will be in the beginning.

    I sumtimes wonder if I need to be hospitalized but Idk wut toll it wud take on my mother, since she is the only support I have. I wish I had someone that loved me and cared for me, I never had any of that. I dnt even care abt that anymore but I dnt even feel like I have supportive siblings, Im always the one left out and neglected. IU wish my sisters were a bit more supportive especially since Im the eldest. The only support I really have is my mother and sum friends.

    I am tired, sum days I just wanna ask Allah to please take me y so many tests. I have no more energy, no more strength to endure any more. Plz pray for me brothers and sisters.

    • Assalam alaikum Sister,

      I know it is really hard, but don't give up. Before you worry about what to do, try to conquer your thoughts and focus on those first. It is really good that you have seen a doctor and are pursuing getting better in this matter.

      It may seem like you don't have much support, but the only support you need is your faith in Allah swt. After many trials that I had with my family and then seeing that I stood alone in some very challenging circumstances, I wondered what Allah wanted from me. I would beg and cry for the answer and in the end I concluded that Allah wanted me, wants all of us, to depend on Him Alone.

      It is very liberating to depend on Allah alone, but it isn't easy because as humans we seek the assurance of others, the approval of others and have so many expectations. One step at a time though, and with much dhikr, inn shaa Allah, you will feel better. Even with trials, if you depend on Allah alone, you will feel some strength inside of you. One thing I used to do is ask for no trials, but now I ask Allah to make me successful in the trials that I face and that I learn the lesson properly because this life is a test. And no matter what, it is difficult, sometimes more for others.

      I pray that Allah give you strength, happiness, courage and peace, Ameen.

      • ws,

        thank you for writing bak. I am trying to focus on what needs to be focused on and bettering myself. In terms of meeting sumone or knowing will I ever end up with someone I think I have lost hope in that area. I want to do dua but I am tired of asking. It depresses me even more knowing I will be 28 this year and for the past 11 years of my life (since Ive been divorced) I nvr met the rite person, anyone in my place wud loose hope and be disheartened.

        I have gotten better wen itc omes to asking Allah for strength but my I have no mental capacity anymore to take any more hurt so being alone doesnt bother me. I just try to keep busy with school, work, or keeping my parents happy. I dont know what else to say but I hope I do get better someday and Allah takes this negativity out of my mind that there really isnt anyone for me. 🙁

        Thank you for always writing such kind words, you are a really kind-hearted person may Allah reward you for this Ameen. Please remember me in duas.

        thanks.

        • Assalam alaikum Sister,

          I know how hard it is to be alone and we are programmed as social beings and it is natural for you to feel the way you do. I do not mean to sound harsh, but rather give you a way of getting an attainable goal. You don't want to be alone and you want to find the "right person." Sister, so many people get married and wish they were alone because they are not with the right person. There are no guarantees in life. If a person is alone and seeks companionship or a person is in a miserable marriage, we have to know one thing: Allah is the source of peace and contentment.

          In the case where you are doing your best, try even harder and never stop forming a stronger bond with Allah. Allah is the one that created us. Before we existed, He is the one that took the time to not only bring us to life, but bring us into existence from nothingness. Nothing about our existence is a chance - it is utterly intentional - and that too by our Creator, SubhanAllah. Take some time to really let that sink in. It is so hard for us to understand how much Allah loves us, and if we did, I suppose our sufferings would become easier. For whatever turmoil I have suffered, the only thing that ever stopped my pain or made it bearable was the remembrance of Allah - remember that inn shaa Allah, "To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return." - so don't give up and don't be disheartened, Allah knows each and everything about you.

  99. SALAM

    I have to read this still, but before I do I would like some answers.

    I'm only 14 and I'm a boy. This bit is important. Over the last few years of my life, since I was like 11 I noticed my parents and their lack of treating a son. I have 4 brothers and a sister, I have 2 step sisters because my dad was married to a non believer previously as he isn't interested in a Muslim wife.

    My parents have not bought me any clothes since I was 11. My cousin I think who is 33 got me some clothes to wear because he was to big for them. My parents take the mick out of him for looking like the big show. My mum would call anyone Fat to be honest.

    Although my dad calls me puthur he still does say rude stuff to me, last week he told me to commit suicide or become Christian and get out of here. I do nothing wrong yet he blames it on me, why? Brother. I have a brother who is 13 uses his laptop 24/7 and probably lost his immunity system. One word whether it being hello or oi he will turn moody and start swearing. He would lie about me to my parents and would get away with it because they Trust him not me. I pulled out his laptop charger while he was at school and I was off sick (my parents triedas best as they could to get me out) and when he came back he completely messed up my bedroom and told my parents that I had thrown his laptop across the room. Guess what? I did get the blame.

    But as a Muslim what I wild would do is deal with it, don't snitch and get back to what I was doing, I didn't do that. The amount of times it I had been lied about I couldn't hold it. I had lost my mind and went mental. I swore and wrecked my room drawing marks with crayons ask over the walls, wrecking my personal belongings, tear my clothes apart oand even attempt to self harm.

    I needed a computer for my school work. As you know a working computer costs around £200 - £800 depending of what kind of job you do, I needed £200 laptop and asked my dad several times before he could say yes, he wanted to get me a £25 second hand laptop. I said it won't do any good. He bought his laptop for £300 after it went on sale. I found a decent computer for £80 and went ahead to buy it. Of course we argued a lot. Then my dad wentabsolutely mental after it came to the door. He told me he would of bought me a£250+ laptop if I hadn't of asked for it. It was definitely a lie. I needed help to set it up and he didn't care at all.

    By the way, he smoked 60+ cigarettes a day.

    Today my dad put a few holes in my bedroom door. And my little brother noticed it and said Mum LOOK. And my mum, like always called me haraam and walk past.

    TODAY I have lost it. The amount if times I thought about suicide or running away has gone too far! I ask you for help! I have no more feelings for my parents or friends! Im a psychopath! I ONLY DO STUFF FOR ALLAH AND NO ONE ELSE WHETHER IT BEING HELP OR A COMMAND I WOULD SAY DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO AND GET VIOLENT. THIS WAS JUST RECENTLYI HHAD TURNED LIKE THIS! PROBABLY ONLY A WEEK AND WOULD LOVE TO DIE OR GET ANOTHER FAMILY.

    • Wa Alaikum Salaam Warahmatullahi ta'ala Wabarakaatuh my dear Brother,

      SubhanAllah, you are in need of help. I thought of your story for a while, but all I could do is to make du'a for you...

      Please be strong and do not think of committing suicide ok.

      Perhaps you will get a better advice here inshaAllah.

  100. @Adam,

    Salaam, I am so sorry to hear abt ur situation. I know how hard it is to have abusive family as I have suffered that a lot too. It sounds like all of u are in need of help, but lets worry abt u first since it seems to be affecting u the most. I believe ur in the UK and healthcare is free there. I would get in touch with someone for professional help, and receive counseling and I strongly suggest u see a dr since this is not gud for ur mental well-being.
    The best advice I can give someone like u that is going thru this, as I am personally going thru hardships and facing depression, stick to namaaz and become closer to Allah (SWT.) You will be at peace. I will make dua for u brother. Plz tc of urself.

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