Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Desperate for a Divorce

Divorce decreeSlms,

My story is so long to mention, but I'm under allot of pressure from my husband, I want a divorce which I have been begging for the past 2 years, I don't love him anymore, he beat me up and was truly a bad husband.

Financially I took care of him and our children. His mother says that my first born child is not his, how must that make me feel? I cant take this life anymore.

I went to see a Moulana in my area and he tells me I must go on anti depressants and go for a full body check up, the moment I said im going to report this matter to the police, he then says that I cant take that route, this is Moulana Dhaya from Marlboro Gardens, Sandton, do you think this is fair on me? how must I continue with life?.... I cant do it anymore.

We lived 11 years with his mother and the verbal abuse leaves a bitter taste in my mouth and makes me question my religion.

I have been to the the Fordsburg jamiat, Benoni Jamiat and Marlboro jamiat with no help. I just get told to make Sabr, is this even human? I am so tired and exhausted both mentally and physically, I ask for help from you as my last and very last resort... what must I do?

My husband is so clever he can answer anything you ask him he can manipulate anyone into believing anything he says. he likes going to Moulanas and getting things to burn in the house...smells like paper burning... and also likes to get water for me to drink...

Please help me .... he put everything on his name, the house and the car .... I will get nothing out of my hard work.

Help Help Help

- Zaeda

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4 Responses »

  1. Why do you need to go to a "jamiat" or a maulana to get a divorce? You don't need anyone's permission to get a divorce. Moreover, why is an imam/maulana etc telling you to take medication? This is very disturbing.

    Sister, go to a lawyer, or go to the courthouse, and fill out the Application for Divorce.

  2. Salaam Zaeeda,

    I really feel for your pain and may Allah ease this difficult situation your in.

    Is there not a Shariah council in your area or even nearby? They should be able to help you with your divorce request. Although moulanas do have our best interests at heart, my personal opinion with many that I have come across is that they will try to sort out the issues and divorce is never an option. I can already see that you have been very patient.

    You need to see the Shariah council as if he will not give it to you they will be able to do it for you.

    Jzk k x

  3. Contact a lawyer , dont rely on whatever a moulana is , your situation is more associated with rights and regulations then it is with religion

  4. Hi,

    If he doesn't grant you a divorce and you've gone past the stage of reconciliation (which, from what I've read and understood, you have) then you have every right to give HIM "khula". This is pretty much equivalent to a divorce with the only difference being that the wife can grant it and doesn't require agreement from the husband.

    However, because you have initiated the divorce then you may have to pay him any mahr (dowry) that was given to you by him prior to the nikah. I'm not entirely sure about the issues regarding the mahr so I suggest you ask someone who is more qualified to give you a succinct answer and of course if anyone here knows the process of khula then please feel free to enlighten us all.

    Sister, consult a divorce lawyer/attorney in regards to your house, car, money etc, I'm not entirely sure but going by what usually happens in the case of a divorce in the UK and the splitting of assets/property/money, then insha Allah you should be granted half of everything that you share with him, regardless of whose name the house and car is registered to but please do consult a professional as I'm not 100% sure.

    Lastly, I feel really sad for you and my heart goes out to you, I'll make dua for you and pray you get the best outcome, insha Allah.

    Keep your head up, sister, believe me, you're not alone in the struggles you face.

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