My husband disrespected my parents and they are now demanding khula
Salam,
My husband and I got our Nikah done at a masjid more than a year ago. Everyone was happy and we’ve been in love for years. He works in Denmark.
But a few months ago, my parents had a bad argument with my in-laws which resulted in my wedding festivities getting cancelled. They were disrespectful to me and my family. Despite that, this year, we were supposed to move in together in Denmark once my husband secured a promotion.
However a month ago, my husband got angry with my father over something. He said really disrespectful words about him to me, and my parents found out. Ever since then, my parents have been forcing me to leave my husband, giving many reasons like his and his family’s disrespect, and some other made-up reasons about his character.
I know my husband is a good man. He loves me and cares for me. I do not want to leave him, but I was forced to choose between him and my parents. He is very sorry and wants to reach out to my parents to clarify everything and apologise but they are not budging.
They are now forcing me to take khula from him but when I try to explain otherwise, they shut me out and tell me to leave right away. I do not want to lose anyone.
Please tell me what the right step is. My husband is willing to do everything to fix things but my parents do not listen to a word. Even my extended family knows about the whole situation (including the things that my parents have assumed to be true) and everyone is against our marriage.
What do I do?
Sister
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Salaam Sister,
This sounds like another case of family interfering with marriage and using emotional blackmailing methods. You've said it yourself that your husband was unaware of the disrespect and acknowledged it and trying to apologize. You love your husband and he loves you. Good women are for good men which Allah has stated. Don't let your parents emotionally blackmail you into doing something which is highly discouraged in Islam unless absolutely necessary. Please also consider what if the same situation happens again in the future with another husband? Your parents are important but don't let that be an excuse for them to take advantage of you. If they threaten to disown you because you didn't listen to them, that's on them and that's a sin. They need to respect you as an adult and not treat you like a child. The same way you protect your parents, protect your husband as well. May Allah make it easier for you and to make the best decision for YOU Ameen.
Stay with your husband and do not leave him period. Your parents are showing immature behavior and following their false ego. Take a stand. Good luck