Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I hid my addictions from my girlfriend but we are both reverting…should I confess to her?

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I am a muslim and my girl is an atheist. I have dated her for around 2.5 years and I have broken up with her due to religious reasons to get close to God because I am finding faith again and not being the ignorant version of myself that I was a while ago. I've stopped doing haram acts with her and I've helped her learn Islam after the break-up so we can do it the halal way and InshaAllah she is about to convert through her own will.

I have lied to her in the past about stopping my drug and masturbation addiction, which I tried to stop even during the haram relationship--I did stop multiple times, but fell right back into it, which Alhamdulillah I have been way past now for months--Inshallah I'm never going back to the addictions. If I were to tell her about this stuff, I'm sure we won't be together and I would break her heart bad because she is on the way to converting soon. InshaAllah I want to marry her.

Do I have to confront her with this stuff since I have changed and gotten closer to God? Do I need to sincerely ask God for forgiveness every prayer? I read in someone else's post that they were atheist and converted and had done the same sort of things but also cheated, and it said in that post that "there is not such thing as confronting the partner" and to "keep this thing between me and God."

But my story is different to theirs as I have been  muslim all my life but got away from God. I got into drugs at the age of 16-20 (and made fun of or didn't believe in God while on drugs) and did not respect God and did many sins in my past. So I was wondering that if I keep this between me and God is it okay? Or should I confess to her the things I hid from her which is clearly not going to be good for either me or her and will definitely have an effect on the marriage, leading to very bad mental health for her and me as everything is going good right now. Allah please make it easier for me as I have reverted back to the Muslim boy I used to be and also make it easier for the ummah Ameen.

I have also read that whoever makes dhikr, 'his sins will be forgiven even if they are as abundant as the foam of the sea' so Inshallah I can keep the past between me and Allah and sincerely ask for forgiveness every salah so I don't have to confront her, which would impact our marriage.


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1 Responses »

  1. Asalamualaykum Hameed,

    Yes, it is okay for you to keep your involvement with drugs between you and Allah, so long as you have sincerely repented and not still falling into this error.

    May Allah ease your trial and give you a blessed marriage. MashaAllah - she is reverting to Islam.


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