Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I can’t see my cousin marrying anyone else…should I fight for this?

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

I'm 19 years old, and my cousin brother is 21, turning 22 in October. We don't see each other often as his family and mine live in different cities within the same country.

We used to spend alternate weekends together as kids. Whenever we do see each other, which is quite rare, I find him often staring at me. Even recently where our families attended a distant relative's wedding, he kept looking at me whenever I was in his eyesight. My mother has noticed it too. I know it's not good from his side but I mentioned it for the sake of my question.

I must admit, he is attractive and has a good character, he's attentive when it comes to Islam as well. The problem is that his mother isn't a nice woman or a Muslim. My parents have suffered a lot because of her.

I don't know what to do anymore. I think I can get over these feelings with Allah's help, but at the same time, I don't think I can see him getting married to someone else. What should I do now?




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1 Responses »

  1. Asalamualaykum Sister Daisies!

    Thanks for writing in with your situation and for placing your trust in Allah and this website.

    Whatever you do, you have to recognize that his mother is a part of his life, and if you two were married, you would have to remain civil with her. Also, you'd have to set boundaries due to your parents' own involvement with her. They may continue to dislike her and say negative things about her, but considering she would be your husband's mother, you'd have to remain respectful to all parties. Just something to think about.

    Otherwise, I see no harm in pursuing this brother for marriage. Base your decision on your capabilities to be mature and respectful in the situation.


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