Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He loves me, he loves me not…


I am a Muslim girl and I turned 14 one month ago. I've liked this guy who is my cousin for a few years actually. I know I am very young, but I swear I didn't like him on purpose!

People tell me to fall out of it, but I don't know how he feels about me. It is very hard and no matter how much I try I can't stop liking him. He is about the same age as me. A while ago, I thought he had feelings for me and he acted that way too, so I eventually liked him back, but now I don't know anymore. I can't get over it because I thought he was the 'one', because I liked him as a life partner.

I live in Pakistan and it is hard for me to understand what step to take. I took advice from my mother and she told me to wait some years or turn 18 and then see about it. I mean she's right but I can't get it off my mind and it makes me distracted after we meet. I can't even talk to him anymore because of how scared I am about what's going to happen next. I don't know why I am waiting because nothing can happen if I won't try, I don't even know him anymore. What should I do?



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1 Responses »

  1. Asalamualaykum Mariya,

    I think that you should take your mom's advice and wait until you are a few years older to consider this match. A lot can change in a few years and he may not even be as attractive to you by then. On the other hand, if Allah wills it to be, then it will be no matter how long you wait.

    If you are unable to get him off of your mind and no distraction works, you can try to channel this "love energy" into a creative pursuit like art or writing. You can also make a lot of dua to Allah in your prayers, asking Him to make it certain for you whether this boy is worth waiting for. Inshallah you will have clarity.



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