Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I shared my body measurements with a guy online

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I posted online about my struggle with my body weight and how disproportionate and unhealthy it was. Someone reached out, and I misread their text, and it registered in my mind that they were a girl.

After telling some body part measurement to show how disproportionate my body was and asking for help, I started to feel doubt that they are a not a girl, but I kept going for some reason as it was just a doubt and I need help.

Then that person said that it made them blush how my bust is, that is why I asked if they were a boy because I thought a girl would not blush at that. Turns out they are a boy. I now feel ashamed for not asking sooner.

I explained to them that it is against my religion and that what I did is a sin, and that we can no longer keep in touch. Basically, I told them to forget me and what I said, as who I thought they were is not who they really are.

I explained that I cannot talk to boys, and by arousing/making them blush, I committed a sin and I need them to forget me and what I said. But I know that boy who I thought was a girl will not forget me at all. They will keep imagining me and my body, and I have nothing to do but to be guilty and ashamed of it.

What do I do? I ended the chat and blocked them. Before that, I explained how this is wrong and I will no longer keep the chat open, and that they should forget me, my measurements, what happened, and I explained my religion to them. I still feel guilty, ashamed, and shy from what I did. My biggest concern is getting sins for Zina every time that boy think of me...what to do? How to repent? Help me !!!


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2 Responses »

  1. Asalaamu Alaikum,

    This is not difficult. You made a mistake but you didnt have bad intentions and honestly didnt know. InshAllah, this wont be counted as a sin, as long as you stop all contact with this person.

    The more serious point is that it appears you are a bit too gullible and trusting of random people online. PLEASE Dont trust ANYONE EVER online, there are people out there who could literally ruin your life.

    May Allah protect you and us all, and give us wisdom ameeen.

    Take care

  2. Asalamualaykum Himari,

    I agree with Brother Ahmed that this is not something to be worried about, as you didn't have any bad intentions and simply had an oversight. Allah knows all, Alhamdulillah.

    For your own protection in the future from not only men but also from women who are envious or insecure with their own selves, you should not share body measurements with ANYBODY. Unless you are going shopping for certain clothing items where those measurements matter and you need help, it is nobody's business but yours.

    No one can help you with your body dysmorphia outside Allah and and a therapist who specializes in such issues. To be honest, everyone has a different body and everyone's body is beautiful. What is beautiful to one person may not be beautiful to another. It is in your best interest to learn to love the body given you by Allah. There is a very wise reason that we were each made the way we were.

    If there are ways you can improve your self-esteem, then by all means take those measures. A healthy diet with all the food groups (not any kind of unsustainable fad diet) and cardiovascular/strength exercises are also your friend!

    I pray you find that peace that Allah wants for you my dear sister.



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