Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is it okay for a male to playfully slap the bottom of his teenage sister?

brother sister breastfed mother's milk


Assalamu alaikum brothers and sisters.

This is my first question on this site, and it's not about me.

Rather, today I accidentally witnessed a friend of mine (25-year-old male) slapping his sister's(18) behind (booty) playfully. On another day earlier this year, I saw his sister giving him a thigh pillow (like anime characters does to their partner) and caressing his head. Sometimes they even sleep in the same bed with their parents. And their parents are okay with this type of behavior!

Is this type of touch between opposite-gendered siblings allowed in Islam? How much "skin touch" is allowed?

I do not have any brothers, which is why my family has not taught me anything about it. I am just curious. It will be really kind of you to help me on this. Thank you very much!


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6 Responses »

  1. AOA, I don’t think it is right for a sister and brother though. In Islam it is has directed to the parents when their kids start to understand the things they must have their separate bedrooms even, not only the beds. That is very very wrong. It's the responsibility of the parents to tell their kids about the boundaries and kids must follow the rule strictly. No doubt if all the family members are sleeping in one room due to certain reasons but they must maintain thre adequate distances among them .

  2. Wa alaikum Salam
    First of all, this part

    " a friend of mine (25-year-old male) slapping his sister's(18) behind (booty) playfully."

    It is an absolutely wrong act,
    because as for a brother to have physical contact with his sister or seeing her without Hijab etc is halal, and permissible as long as the touch or seeing does not fall under the category of something related to a haram act unless it's a medical emergency of some sort, BUT the front and back area of a woman, comes under the category of "PRIVATE PARTS" which Is absolutely haram for any man to touch unless, the man touching it is either her husband or a doctor (for medical purposes).

    Secondly as for this part,
    "I saw his sister giving him a thigh pillow (like anime characters do to their partner) and caressing his head."

    I cannot rule this as completely haram or something, but it depends on the situation, but as a societal norm, this kind of lying down, and caressing of head/hairs is only done by couples, so even though the act they are doing is not haram, it might have some adverse effect some time in the future, so it is best to avoid it.

    Now as for this,
    "Sometimes they even sleep in the same bed with their parents."

    The Hadith states that;

    The Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alahi Wasalam said: “A man should not see the private parts of another man, and a woman should not see the private parts of another woman, and a man should not lie with another man under one covering, and a woman should not lie with another woman under one covering” (Sunan Abu Dawud p.201 v.2, Sahih Muslim and Musnad Ahmad)

    Another Hadith states
    The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Command your children to pray when they become seven years old, and beat them for it (prayer) when they become ten years old; and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately. (Sunan Abi Dawud 495)

    I am not sure, what kind of free minds this family has, but the general acts these bro and sis are doing, have a very strong sense of haram in them.

    and ALLAH knows best

  3. No .This behaviour is not acceptable in Islam .
    As you can see few good responses above so should communicate your friend about this ..
    Also it's not allowed to touch any part of body of female who are mehrems or non mehrems ..Always need to maintain a distance.
    Also to note as today's world is very corrupt due to easy access of porn or explicitl movies it is advisable to even be carefull with most of mehrems too and keep a distance

  4. It is permissible for a man to touch any clothed part of his mahram. Strictly speaking, a man has not committed a sin if he touches the clothed back and behind of his sister in a jest. If the behind of his sister is nude, then it is neither permitted for him to see it nor touch it unless it is for a medical reason. If the intention is lust, then he cannot touch any part of her body, whether clothed or not.

    So, touching the behind of a sister in a jest, does not exactly qualify as a sin but it will be inappropriate if it is against the societal and familial norms. For example, in Arab cultures, women uncover their hair at home in front of their fathers but in South Asian cultures it is considered very inappropriate to sit with uncovered hair in front of fathers. Another thing to consider is familial norms. If in a particular family the hugging between siblings s not a norm but an adult brother has suddenly started hugging his adult sister, then that is a red flag.

    An adult brother can sleep on same bed with his adult sister only if the bed is wide enough for two people, their awrahs are covered, and they have separate blankets. Reference. Again, if an adult brother sleeping on same double-bed with his adult sister is not a norm in a particular family, and they suddenly have started sleeping together on same bed, then it is a red flag and has high chances of leading to sin and fitna.

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