Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How can I be a better Muslim? Please don’t judge my lesbian relationship.

السلام عليكم ,

I am a teenager who is in need of help. I am in a haram relationship but that's not it. I am in a lesbian relationship and need guidance. I can't bring myself to break up with her, but at the same time, I don't want to be a bad muslim, I fear that one day I will regret not ever doing anything about this.

So please help me. What are some other things that I can do to help me become a better muslim? I never really was that faithful but recently, I started learning how to pray since no one had taught me before. I hope to soon start praying regularly.

I regret my actions but I can't bring myself to just undo them. But I don't wanna go to hell and I don't want to be even more further from my religion. So please help me.


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3 Responses »

  1. Asalamualaykum Dear Sister,

    I'm sorry that you are struggling...Rest assured that it is a sign that Allah wants you to turn to Him and become closer to Him.

    When we start praying more regularly, it affects many other areas of our lives, as it puts us on that Straight Path that changes our priorities. We are now putting Allah first. This is a time of transition for you, where you are questioning your ego's desires and wanting them more in alignment with what Allah wants.

    I understand that you feel you are not emotionally or spiritually ready to end your relationship with this girl, but I can promise that once you do, other bad habits will also peel away from you slowly and steadily. So your second issue, which is to become a better Muslim, will automatically be accomplished.

    If you are truly not in a place to do that yet, you can still perform other obligatory and Sunnah acts that will ultimately lead you to piety. One sin doesn't mean we should just give up on Allah entirely. Try to pray your 5 prayers on time and make ample dua to Allah to make the good easy for you and the haram difficult. You need Allah's help to please Him, ultimately, as we cannot do these things alone without His help. We need Allah for our very survival. Try to give zakat or charity. Feed some wild birds. Respect your parents. Wear proper hijab...there are many ways you can become closer to Allah that have nothing to do with relationships.

    Also, remember that you can still love this girl from a distance. You can still wish her well. Your feelings towards her are not the is the acting upon them that you are held accountable for and that is your test in this Dunya.

    If you are not attracted to males sexually even as you get older, you can still marry...try to find an asexual male or a gay male with strong faith/values who is in a similar predicament. For those whose heart is in the right place, Allah eases the affairs.



    • Honestly thank you so much for replying.. I wasn't gonna check because I was scared about what people would say but you honestly helped me get the motivation to start praying and try getting closer to Allah.
      Honestly thank you, I'll try my best I promise.

      • Asalamualaykum Dear Sister,

        You are most welcome and I'm glad that your heart is more at peace. It is Allah that has allowed me to advise you. Remember that if you keep Allah close, as is your intention, you have everything you need in this Dunya and the Hereafter.



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