Should I let my future partner know about a previous relationship?
Salam,
I was in a halal relationship during school and everyone at University knew about it. Things didn't work out and we parted ways. Now I am going for an arranged marriage and I don't know what to say to my prospect or what to disclose.
If I don't tell him about it, he may get to know from someone from the university (everyone at University was non-Muslim, so they called it boyfriend-girlfriend relationship) and it'll be worse for me down the line.
What do I do? I don't want to disclose it (as recommended Islamically). I am Desi, I can't even mention it to my parents.
Ramna
3 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Asalamualaykum Sister,
If there is a great chance of your potential marriage partner finding out about this, I can understand why you would want to reveal it. Generally, Allah asks us not expose our sins if He has kept them hidden. But in your case, I think you should reveal this. You say it was a "Halal relationship." Was your Wali involved? What made this "halal?"
Best,
Nor
IslamicAnswers
No, no one from my family knew. We talked for 3-4 months and decided not to go ahead with it. It was halal as in we met only at public places.
Salam Ramna,
I think you should disclose it to him. He should be aware before making a marriage decision that you used to be in love with someone else and you dated them. I have not seen anything in the Quran that states that you should hide your sins from other people. There is something about not increasing shamefulness so you wouldn't disclose every detail of what you did with that guy. In an arranged marriage your past relationships are important information and that should be disclosed.
If you are confused about what the right thing is then reverse the situation. Let's say he has had multiple relationships with other women, would you want to know? Let's say he is currently in a relationship with another woman, should he hide that because it's his sin? Let's say he cheats on you with prostitutes during your marriage, do you think Allah would be more pleased with him withholding this information from you or by letting you know? It should be obvious that you should be made aware. If you would like that, then don't you think it would be right for him to know that you have been with someone too?
https://quran.com/2/42?translations=17,19,20,21,22,84,18,85,95,101
And do not mix the truth with falsehood or conceal the truth while you know [it].
— Saheeh International
M