Islamic marriage advice and family advice

His parents found him a new girl and I’m left devastated

Heartbroken, broken heart


I fell in love with a guy from college and we both promised each other marriage. We were both Muslims and from the same culture. We were talking for three years and during the first year, he told his parents he was interested in marrying me, but they refused and said "no." I had told my mum already and she was so happy and said "yes." Overtime, he promised me that he’d convince them and they just needed  time.

The reason they said no was because they wanted to pick a girl out for him. He kept trying to convince his parents but he kept getting a "no." We then decided to stop talking so he can convince his parents and do everything the right way. We stopped talking for six months but both fell into deep depression and eventually came back to one another. Then it became on and off. We were hardly seeing each other and we have not committed Zina.

He kept trying to convince his parents and was still promising me it will work and that we should be patient. His parents were not happy and decided to move him away to another country and get him engaged to another girl who he doesn’t like. At that point, he blocked me straight away with no explanation! His sister messaged me and explained what was going on and how he tried to convince them but they kept saying no.

I am left heartbroken and depressed. I don’t know who to blame.

How do I cope with this and what should I do? I appreciate any sound advice.

Thank you,

Your Sister in Islam 

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2 Responses »

  1. Asalamualaykum Sister,

    First of all, I'm sorry that this brother left you high and dry. This was not classy of him, but it is clear evidence from Allah that he was not the one for you. I wouldn't be so confident that he doesn't "like" this other girl he is engaged to. It is fully up to us to say "yes" or "no" to marriage with someone, and he wouldn't have said yes if he doesn't have at least a small liking for her. I tell you this not to make you feel bad, but to remind you that you have every right to agree or refuse to marriage with anybody, just as this brother did. Find someone better for yourself who respects you enough to fight for you and stand up for his love, even against his own parents. You deserve that and will In sha Allah find that with someone better.



  2. It’s been so many years and he can’t stand up to his parents. Not a man enough and kept you waiting. Not a man you want to be with who gave you false promise to stick around for years. Move on. It’s not his parents, it’s him who he is letting them control his life.

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