Want to Get Married 
I want a love marriage(2)
I asked my mother just to meet them once at least, but she says my your father will never agree and he will blame her for sending me to the institute, and she can’t make life more hell. I told her to try to convince him in a proper way, but she doesn’t agree, and she said that I’m trying to break her trust by saying this.
How do I find a wali?
I’m an new convert. I am the only person in my whole family that is a Muslim. I would like to have a Wali. How do I search or find one?
I am angry at Allah for not getting me married
I have faced problems in my life before too, but this time it’s too overwhelming. I had really bad depression and anxiety, even then I never lost hope in Allah swt. But this time it’s very different, and I really hate this feeling. I feel that Allah is not accepting my duas. I get all negative thoughts in my head, and I’m so scared to say this- but sometimes I get angry at Allah.
Family shuts me in a small room, I’m highly suicidal
My sister told me that even my brother in law had set up a plan where he will gather a knife, gun and gasoline and I choose how I want to go. At least I will have the honor in choosing how I can die.