Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Did our actions count as Zina?


A few years ago, I was in a haram relationship which I have sincerely repented from and have now changed and am much closer to religion alhamdullilah. However, I keep worrying about something I tried to do back then. I tried to have sex with him; however, it didn't work (thankfully). He tried to penetrate but it hurt too much and I told him to stop. He did and I didn't feel anything being pulled out from what I can remember. I never felt him inside me.

I am worried about whether that counted as zina or if I'm a virgin. I think I suffer from a type of OCD because I've been worrying constantly for about 2 weeks now and keep overthinking. I did research and found that zina is when the entire tip disappears into the vagina. Now I'm worried about whether that happened or not. I checked my hymen and it's still there however I read that it doesn't always tear on the first time, and I don't know what it looked like before this event so it's hard to make a comparison.

I just need help because this is really hurting me. I asked Allah for help but it's hard to move on when I'm unsure if I'm a virgin or not. I keep worrying and it's causing me great anxiety. I feel like if I'm not a virgin it reduces my status as a woman and makes me feel so guilty. I wake up every morning feeling great anxiety and it's becoming very difficult to deal with.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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1 Responses »

  1. Assalamo Alaikum wrtwbrktuhu.
    Sis,as you have sincerely repented, you are firm, steadfast and not more attracted to illegal, indecent sexual urges, shaitan is pinching your brain to recall the indecent past and is trying to disappoint you from the Mercy of Allah subhanahu by making you doubtful.Please remember:
    1.Allah subhanahu is the most merciful.You try a little to avoid disobedience Allah grants you more mercy and forgives like you never committed.God forbidden if Allah not forgive then who else will do?which negates His ability to forgive making us doubtfull on His Majestic Power of "Al Ghaffar" and "Al Rahman "and "Al Raheem".So we firmly believe in His Majestic Powers because HE is our SOLE CREATOR.ONLY HE has the MAJESTIC POWER to DO & UNDO anything.
    2.Allah subhanahu is "Al Sattaar"(the Concealer)another Majestic Power.When he is the Concealer ,we don't be the revealer to anyone as He has Concealed our sins from every one.No one knows what you did in complete privacy.Do Istaghfar(استغفار)as much as you can even more and more.Never disclose and propagate other persons sins that you only know and Who became repentant afterwards. Offcourse not hiding criminals so that other people may not be harmed.
    3.At earliest search for a good person and go for marriage.Surely you will be saved from all of the dirty sins.Its my personal experience and above all the holy Advise and practice of the Holy Prophet PBUH.
    May Allah subhanahu protect all human beings from Satanic traps.

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