Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I wanted to be noticed just for a moment. Have I lost all my good deeds?

 

upset muslim woman, distressed sister

Salam,

So back in the Fall of 2021, I was going home by van and the driver was female. At that time, I was not a very good Muslima, but I did observe the proper hijab. In the van, I had a hoodie and hijab on, I put the hoodie on my head to cover, and pulled the hijab off. No hair was shown or anything, no males in sight, the hoodie covered everything.

My intention was not to take the hijab off and leave it for good, but to be seen and complemented, as I looked better in a hoodie. I do not know how to explain this as I myself feel ashamed of it and confused on why I did that now that I look back. The second I took the hijab off, even if the hoodie was covering, I realized that I had bad intentions and had deep regret all the way back home, till now.

It made me appreciate the hijab more, but it was too late. Now I am plagued by guilt and worry. Did what I did count as me leaving hijab and losing all my good deeds? I ask because it was not accidental and my intentions were not innocent and pure. Or, because my intentions were NOT to leave hijab for good, does it not count? Do I therefore still have my good deeds?

Himari


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5 Responses »

  1. For clarification, there was only me and the female driver in the Van, no one else. We were driving in traffic, so the only males would be in other cars, and I had a hoodie on to not show hair.

  2. No one reply yet? Please guide!

  3. Hello? ANyone?

    • 53. Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves: do not despair of Allah’s mercy, for Allah forgives all sins. He is indeed the Forgiver, the Clement.”

      54. And turn to your Lord, and submit to Him, before the retribution comes upon you. Then you will not be helped.

      55. And follow the best of what was revealed to you from your Lord, before the punishment comes upon you suddenly, while you are unaware.

      Qur'an 39 az-Zumar: 53

      70. Except for those who repent, and believe, and do good deeds. These—Allah will replace their bad deeds with good deeds. Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.

      71. Whoever repents and acts righteously—has inclined towards Allah with repentance.

      Qur'an 25 al-Furqan: 70-71

  4. Asalamualaykum Sister Himari,

    I surmise that you didn't get many responses (the one above is very good MashaAllah - thank you brother) because most people are not as particular and observant as you, and wouldn't think twice about removing hijab just for a second, especially if replacing with a hood. It requires a very seriously observant individual to understand your level of concern!

    I myself think that it's best to just seek forgiveness regardless...our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) would seek forgiveness multiple times a day, regardless of already being the best of creation. So it is Sunnah and certainly won't hurt to seek forgiveness. Allah knows we are all created weak and loves to forgive.

    Sorry I can't muster a more relatable response! You are MashaAllah at a very high level of deen sister...may Allah reward you abundantly for it 🙂

    Hugs,

    Nor
    IslamicAnswers.com

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