Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Cheated on my boyfriend, want to convert to Islam

Muslim women prayingHello, I’m a catholic girl wanting to convert to Islam. Please don’t judge me, however I’m uneducated on the religion so I need guidance.

I’ve lived a life of sin. I’ve had 8 sexual partners, I lie, drink, smoke. A lot of things I’m not proud of. I’ve been severely depressed and suicidal due to my past mistakes and I cry every day due to the guilt.

What brought me to Islam:

I began seeing this boy that I really like. However, from the beginning of the relationship I was still having sex with another man. I ended this, but one day I went on a date with another man, had sex with him then had sex with my ex boyfriend. 2 days later I had sex with the boy I now currently like.

I know what I did was wrong and I feel so guilty. I told the boy that I like that I was seeing my ex, however I didn’t tell him the full extent of the story. In fear of losing him.

I bought a Bible, but I felt as if this wasn’t satisfying me I couldn’t find a clear answer, all I got was that I’m unreedemable.

I began watching stories of reverts who were similar to me and I found hope in the fact that Allah has a plan for me. I began to find comfort in that although my past actions were disgusting it has led me to find Islam.

My dilemma is that I love this boy. Should I tell him about what I did? As I don’t want to continue to lie to him.

Also, I want to convert to Islam but I’m scared. I have no Muslim friends and have so many questions. I don’t want to convert until I understand the faith completely. I have completely stopped drinking and smoking. However the hijab is a big challenge for me.

- tryingtotalk

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3 Responses »

  1. Salaam. First you need relax and learn to control your urges. What you have done in past has gone but try to make your future pleasing to God. Cut your ties with all Men including the new boyfriend. Give sometime to yourself and indulge yourself in learning about Islam and Quran. You should only accept Islam on the basis of its creed, ethics and law. Otherwise converting for a Men is not a good way to come to Islam.

    Seek forgiveness from God and cut ties with all men for atleast 2-3 years so you may learn to live without commiting sexual sins.

  2. I pray you are well. Firstly i want to commend you on your honesty, admitting your mistakes is difficult. Know that God is All-Forgiving on the condition that you sincerely ask for His forgiveness and resolve never to commit again.

    When you accept, embrace and submit to Allah (God), say the testimony of faith, your past sins will be wiped away and you will enter this faith with a clean slate, as if you were a newborn, sinless. So I encourage you to not hesitate and accept Islam, as you will find salvation in God in the Hereafter.

    I'd encourage you not to mention your sexual behaviour to this man, or anyone going forward, keep it between you and God, but be sincere, loyal and truthful going forward, never to resort to sexual promiscuity again. If anyone asks about your sexual history, keep it between you and God and lying in such a circumstance is permissible and revealing past sins can have a detrimental affect on people, especially current spouses who pry to much, leading to a strain in relationships. Your lie to conceal your sin is not a lie, but a right to preserve your chastity. you are chaste, from the moment you embrace Islam anew and resort never to doing a sin again. My revealing the truth which God has concealed for you with the cover of your past, in your history, has nothing to do with him or anyone else for that matter. Make sure you take a test for STDs and upon its results, give it some space and time, and if you choose to marry him after becoming muslim, by all means, take the valid measures.

    If you want to learn about Islam, have a fantastic free service, with free pre-recorded courses that you can learn from, by verified valid scholars, at your own pace. If you have any questions, they have a reliable answering service from Scholars.

    I pray you find salvation, peace, tranquillity and felicity.

    Asalaamu Alaikum

  3. Asalamualaykum,

    MashaAllah you are very intelligent to have seen the truth, even if isn't a conviction yet. That will happen with time.

    In the meantime, cut off relations with any guys you are dating, as this is haram. You don't owe any revelations or explanations to anyone. What Allah has kept hidden should not be revealed. In Islam, there is no such thing as "confession" Alhamdulillah. We go straight to the source, Allah, confess only to him (He sees all anyways), repent by not repeating the action, and ask for forgiveness only from Him.

    Allah is like a one-stop shop for everything. He makes our path easy and simple, as soon as we stop wrestling with doing the wrong/difficult things.



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