Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Do I have to be friendly to my child’s father’s family?

Little girl sitting on a swingAssalamu alaikum brothers and sisters,

I am hoping  my brothers and sister can help give me advice inshaallah. I recently reverted to Islam last year alhumdillilah, I have a 5-year-old girl and am single mother. Her dad and I was engage 2 months after I had the baby at very young age and while we were engage he cheated on me , went to nightclubs , is a drinker and smoked marijuana. So I broke up with him. I was very hurt and didn't know how to take it at that time  so I ignored him and his family for almost 4 years.

After I reverted, I got in touch with them and now  I bring my daughter over once a week to his family which are muslim as well.  Their family tells me they want to be there for my child even tho her their son is still a drinker, does drugs, have many girlfriends and very disrespectful toward me when i have not done anything to him. He tells me he does not want anything to do with child.

I known him since high school and he was a good person now he has changed and it hurts me every time I see him like that  to a very depressing point where I cannot function through my day. I don't understand how someone cannot want to be there for his child. It truly just drains my happiness and energy.  When I bring my daughter over, they invite me to come inside.  I truly want to leave their home because in my heart. I'm still hurt and I cant even smile be happy when I'm there.  I feel like it might be rude to just drop off my daughter and leave. Is it wrong for me to do that ? Is it wrong for me to stay?


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3 Responses »

  1. Assalamualaikum I am very sad for you. You need to cut off none Muslim people. If you want to get married, I know of some good Muslim men. I used to be none Muslim but Alhamdulillah
    If you would like to have a great husband I know of a lot of Muslim brothers who need a wife.

  2. Assalamu alaikum Mnkj07,
    I was/am in a similar (not exact) situation. I suggest that you simple explain to them how you feel. Let them know that you want your child to know them but this situation is still painful for you. Before your next visit call them and let them know why you will not be staying when you drop off and pick up your daughter . I am sure your child's grandparents are disappointed in their son as well. I know this is difficult for you but it might be better that your child's father is away from her right now. Maybe this is Allah's way of protecting your daughter since she is so young. May Allah bless you with patience and strength.

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