Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I don’t have a Wali and my mother is haunted by Jinns

Secret marriage


I'm in my mid-20s and met someone 5 years ago. It was long-distance up until a few months ago when he came to study in the same country I am in. We plan to marry  asap (December insha'Allah) but our respective circumstances are difficult.

Him: His parents won't let him marry off until he has a career/financial stability (he's currently a student).

Me: I have no father, my older brother has a dysfunctional rough relationship with me and so we're not in contact at all. My mother is afflicted by serious black magic/jinns/mental health struggles. Her priority is her jinn friends and not me and my youngest brother. In fact I look after everything at home, and my mother and sibling and pay for all earlys and nearly all bills. So both are HIGHLY dependent on me. She doesn't have to be but she is because it's just easier to load everything off on me whilst she goes about communicating with her jinn friends. Marriage is the LAST thing on my mother's mind, because as I said, she is dependent on me. T

The problem is that me and this man want to marry to make things halal. We don't want to do wrong ( i.e. zina.)  So we want to get nikkah without telling our parents. And when it's time (i.e. when he has a career after his degree), then we would approach our parents for a proper marriage. It's not ideal of course but we can't risk any sinful acts.

I would be grateful on your thoughts amidst the circumstances I have highlighted. And also, because I have no wali (father, brother, uncle), would it be okay for my close family friend's sister to be my wali? She is like a guardian to me.

Jazak'Allah if you took the time to read my post.

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2 Responses »

  1. Walaikum Salaam, if you don't have a wali, the Imam will point one for you.
    In shaa Allah this will help.
    the woman does not have any wali who can give her in marriage, then that role may be filled by the Muslim qaadi (judge), if there is one. If there is no qaadi, as is the case for Muslim communities living in the West, then the director of the Islamic centre may give her in marriage.

    If there is no director of an Islamic centre, then the imam of the mosque, or a scholar, or a Muslim man of good character may give her in marriage.

  2. May Allah guide you to the best decision and protect and guide you and your family.

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