Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Secret nikah first, then renew it publicly?

Secret marriageAsalam Alaikum. Me and my fiance's parents arranged for us to know and like each other and they said if we end up in love they will prepare for nikkah.

Now we in love and have much desires for each other. But the parents on his side are delaying the nikkah.

Can we get married secretly? Then, when our parents decide the date we renew the nikah? Cause it's now a year and they are still postponing.

- Lulu

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4 Responses »

  1. You're both grown adults and capable of organising a wedding yourselves. go ahead and plan the nikkah and don't make it secret you have no reason to. If you ever get questioned just say you guys postponed it and we need to get married so we made it out priority ourselves.

    And remember you guys are nothing to each other till you have a nikkah so don't do anything or label anything.

  2. Dear Lulu,
    It is sad to say that secret marriage is not allowed in Islam.
    Since Wali/parental consent is required in Islam yet you can still get married if there is a reasonable grounds even without the consent of the bride's wali.

  3. I would be concern why his parents are postponing it for a YEAR!! I would find out and ask. If you both desire each other and both parties know then it shouldn’t be a delayed for a year. Don’t waste time, get your emotions all tied up and then God willing may or may not happen- marriage. We don’t know. Please, do istiqahara for couple days and ask Allah for guidance.

  4. Asalamualaykum Sister Lulu,

    Inform your parents of your intent to marry with or without your wali's approval. Explain to them that it would be a bigger sin if something haram (physical, emotional connection) were to happen due to their postponing, than not having approval of Wali. As brother Mohammad states, it makes sense that there would be grounds for taking a usually-prohibited action in the face of extenuating circumstances.



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