Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He is asking for my father’s number!

Asalaamualaykum,

I met a guy at my college. Of course we started talking because we are both Muslims, and then it turned to love.

Now, he says he wants to speak to my father in order to get permission to continue our relationship. It was at this moment that I realized how serious he is!

Truth be told, I am scared for things to get serious like this! Yes I like him, but I do not want him to speak to my father. He says he wants to because it is the right thing to do and we can't continue the relationship if he doesn't do that.

I really don't want my parents to be involved, but I also don't want to lose him. What should I do? Should I allow him to speak to my father?

Phattylovvy

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4 Responses »

  1. From what you said this simply means you are deceiving him so let him find another woman to get marry to her.

  2. OP: I met a guy at my college. Of course we started talking because we are both Muslims, and then it turned to love.........Now, he says he wants to speak to my father in order to get permission to continue our relationship.

    How long you have been in relationship? How far you have gone with him?

    All of a sudden he wants to meet your father or end the relationship. He may know you are reluctant to involve your father. He did not ask to meet your father before he "fall in love with you". He is seeking your dad's permission to continue the relationship.
    I have doubt he wants to marry you.

    • With all due respect, how are you getting this notion that you doubt he wants to marry this girl lol? If anything, trying to meet the girls father means he wants to move to the next step and marry. Think about this, If he never had the intention to marry, then why would he ask to meet the father? He could just continue the relationship without even asking lol. It seems like the girl wants to continue the relationship but not involve the parents which leads to her not being serious about marriage in the first place and she's experimenting. Then again, I'm not going to put her in that basket because she might be scared and not ready for marriage.

      If she is serious about him, then she should allow him to reach out to her father for her hand. If not, then they should end the relationship as they are both in different stages when it comes to a relationship.

  3. You are not saying anything about why you don't want a serious relationship with this guy - I can understand wanting to get to know him better before getting parents involved and committing yourself to serious talks of marriage in the near future, but, again, you don't mention anything about your reasoning for not wanting your parents to get involved.

    I personally believe you should not get romantically involved with anybody until you're at a point in your life where you're ready for marriage. Because, what's the point? If you want companionship, make some new friends - but don't get into the dating scene unless you actually want to meet and settle down with a prospect. It's a waste of their and your time, and hearts are bound to be broken. Don't go there :).

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