Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I have HSV but don’t want to ruin a woman’s life.


Salam sisters and brothers,

Please no judgement because only Allah knows how this happened with no 1% Haram.

I'm a 37-year-old single muslim male with HSV and no kids, living in Arizona, United States.

I was married 5 years ago when I got herpes. I got divorced after 3 months... I couldn’t make it up to my wife after what happened.

I have been looking for halal partner all this time but it’s really hard to find a wife with my issue, and don’t forget stigma.

Today I’m here trying to fight for halal with no cheating....I want her to know that I have herpes .. I don’t want to destroy someone life.

InshaAllah I find what I'm looking for and thank you for your time



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7 Responses »

  1. You should research and see if you can find anything. Check out this website

  2. Assalaamualaykum Brother Abdullah,

    Just keep praying and making dua to the one who is in control, Allah. Allah has planned for every human being who wants to get married a just have to take steps to find her. Register on Muslim matrimonial websites. You can choose whether you want to be up front about your health issue, or if you'd rather wait until you meet the person. If it were me personally, I would say something like..."I do have a sensitive health issue that we'd need to discuss at some point" up front, but I'd need to find the right time. Don't be afraid, as Allah is in human can change your fate without the intercession of Allah.

    Best and Inshallah your heath improves.


  3. Salam brother,

    If it is true that you contracted HSV without committing haram, I am so sorry to hear this, find strength and patience in Allah,this is undoubtedly then, a great great test for you,

    I do not want to hurt you dear brother or cause you anymore distress, but i think you should refer your matter to someone of knowledge, this is too serious a matter, to take the advice of lay people,

    In islam we are taught, that a Muslim should not expose himself to harm..... that is any harm...

    That includes mixing with a person who has a contagious disease, especially if that disease is serious and chronic, such as herpes.

    The rulings of sharee’ah are addressed to everyone, sick and healthy alike.

    With regard to the one who is sick, Muslim (2221) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The owner of sick camels should not bring them to the healthy ones” – lest the disease be transmitted to the healthy ones.

    With regard to the one who is healthy, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Flee from the leper as you would flee from a lion.” Narrated by Ahmad, 9429; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7530.

    it would not be fair or islamic to expose another to your condition, even if someone agrees to it, for example, would it be fair for a man to marry a woman then infect her and his child with HIV? because she agreed to the marriage? why would such a person agree to such a marriage, except if they are utilising their emotions and not their common sense?
    it would be a case of taking advantage of the vulnerability of a man or a woman who has develop irrational feelings for another, that they would expose themselves to harm intentionally ( emotional vulnerability)

    please do refer your matter to someone more knowledgeable, this is a very serious situation, i wish for you happiness brother., may Allah make this trial easy for you, remember Allah gives his hardest tests to the strongest!

  4. To me, herpes isn't very dangerous and a huge percentage of the population has it. It could cause harm to the baby if the mother has it during labor. Otherwise many people who have it don't even know they have it. Most people who get it probably just think it's a pimple. Don't let it bother you. Statistically, 1 in 5 people have it. Therefore, you should be able to find someone who either has it or is open-minded enough to accept a wonderful person who happens to have it. I can say if I found my soulmate, I don't believe I would let a skin condition keep us apart. Be honest with them and insha Allah you will be fine. But I would wait until you guys get to know eachother a bit to tell them. Wouldn't want to tell someone unnecessarily or tell someone who might spread the word and tell everyone in your community.

  5. There’s a private Facebook group called positive Muslims international plus,
    or gifted Muslims international. Hopefully you will find a wife there. InshAllah
    May Allah make it easy for you

  6. Herpes 2 is a stingma because herpes 1 more dangerous. People usually get "cold sores" at a young age. For example, from the kissing aunt. Or, from the shared water up after dinner at home or at the restaurant. You have seen all those situations in particular countries and cultures. So, tradition is a pathway to hsv1, and we know folks love tradition, thus it is more difficult to protect kids. On the other hand hsv2 is more controllable if the person understands shedding, a time when the virus is present but without the usual signs. Hsv2 is a problem when the person has never had a symptom, therefore doesn't know they have it. Lastly, the layman and most doctors are clueless about Herpes. Doctors only push drugs, they do no understand biochemistry while the layman gets informed by Google Dr. Both groups are not informed by the latest scientific, scholarly, peer reviewed research hidden in university databases which is usually not free unless you are in university or have a library card.

  7. @Abdulla are you still looking? I’m a 28 year old female. I am divorced and got it through my ex husband.

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