Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’m from a broken family so his parents won’t give their consent

Family shattered by husband's addiction


I graduated last year. I was taking preparations for GRE as I want to go to the USA for a Master's degree. It was in 2018 that my sister's husband, who is in the USA, introduced me to a PhD student of an American university. The funny thing is, that person was a senior from my department and University as well, I just had not met him earlier.

I knocked him for some questions I had about GRE on Facebook. It all started from there. He is 3 years older than me. We started making audio calls. Things went well. Then after some days, he said he was in love with me.

I kept no secrets. As you know, in our subcontinent, people always look at the family over the bride/groom.
I told him that my parents are in separation. I asked him multiple times if he can manage his family.... What if his parents freak out after knowing that I am from a broken family? He assured me that he will fight for this relationship and will manage everything. He's the only son of his parents; he has 2 sisters.

After 7 months, he came to meet me from the US. We met 8 times, every time at restaurants, he stayed for a month.

It was a picture perfect relationship. He is a very nice guy. I thought he loved me a lot. Recently, his parents asked him about marriage and he told them about me. Yes, they freaked out knowing about me and my family.

They told him that they never thought he would want to do a love marriage, they never expected him to make his own choice, they told him that they don't care about what he wants and they won't accept me. Even his elder sister didn't support him. His parents said he would be very happy in life if he marries the girl of their choice.

Parents are human beings...they do not always do the right things and its okay. It is said that parents only want their children to be happy. That's why they sometimes force their child to listen to them about marriage. But does it mean that the child will surely be happy with his wife after breaking a girl's heart? In that relationship, I never got the hint that he will not stand up for me.

Just 3 days after he told his parents, he told me that his parents are getting hurt and he can't live like this. I begged him to fight for some time. He left, just after 3 days. Then somehow I called him and convinced him to stay with me and fight for our love. But, after 10 days, he again said sorry that he can't go against his family and will marry the one his parents will choose. I promised him that I will try to cope with his family and he does not have to misbehave with family. I requested him to take time and try to convince them. I tried to make him understand that they would agree if the see his persistence....he still left.

I am feeling devastated, as he hasn't contacted since then. I had put a lot of effort for this relationship as it was a long-distance one. It keeps haunting me that he will soon marry another girl and maybe he'll stay happy.

How could he do that? How is he surviving without me now? How can I get over this? In my salat, I always pray to Allah to save me from this misery. In Islam, it is said that Allah doesn't like the person who breaks his promises. Also it is said that breaking someone's heart is equal to breaking a mosque.

But I can't express what I have been going through. Will he be happy with his wife after doing all of this with me? Allah is the most righteous.

Sister in need


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