Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Constant fear of my prayers being invalid due to impurity

Muslim woman praying at the Blue Mosque in TurkeyHello, these are regular problems I face almost daily that make me doubt the validity of my prayers.

Sometimes while scrolling in Instagram or YouTube, etc. I come across some inappropriate videos or pictures, and they make me feel some kind of way, I don't know what it is, and sometimes I get discharge. I DON'T intentionally think these thoughts or stimulate anything by myself (e.g. my finger) or watch bad stuff intentionally. It happens by itself or by accident (like social media).

Afterwards I do ghusl, but sometimes I get multiple times a day especially before prayer time or near it so it makes me doubt myself and I keep doing ghusl, but it is exhausting to do ghusl 5 times a day especially since it is winter and snowy where I live now and it damages my hair and skin. and is frustrating as sometimes before I even get dressed I get them again and just feel guilty to pray without doing ghusl as I think I'm not pure.

So now I resorted to doing ghusl once a day before fajr ( If I can, sometimes I don't, woke up late, or showered closely before it, like the night before) and just do wudu and changing cloths for the rest of the prayers. This is mainly for 2 reasons:

1. It is frustrating to keep doing ghusl 5 times a day and arouses suspicion from family.

2. My mum told me that I should stop showering all the time. (I don't know how to bring the topic up with her and feel ashamed and scared of how she would react to this, so I didn't tell her and don't plan on telling her).

I sometimes suspect some discharge transferred from my hand to my dress and I can't change my dress multiple times a day as that is suspicious.

What do I do? Is ghusl necessary each time, or is it only necessary if it was physical, like masturbation and intercourse?

Is what I'm doing now- ghusl once a day- right and my prayers will be valid, or do it is wrong?

If it is wrong, do I have to redo my prayers in such a situation of resorting to doing it once a day due to its excessiveness, but knowing that it could be or should be necessary each time? What if I got these thoughts while in prayer, I ask Allah (swt) for forgiveness in prayer when it happens, but does it affect my prayer and I have to redo?

Also, sometimes I feel a fart coming out but I hold it in for 2-3 seconds and I feel the pressure subside little by title in also 2-3 seconds, but I'm not sure where it goes, in or out. I continue my salah as I didn't hear a pop, or the smell. I breathe through my mouth while praying in order to read Quran and it is much easier while moving to use my mouth rather than nose. I try to sniff for a few seconds, but I don't smell anything and I'm not sure if a few seconds is enough to detect a smell or not. Is my prayer valid in such case?

Sometimes, I also doubt if I missed a part in the prayer, like a rak'a or a surah or the tashahud. And sometimes I'm scared that I addedd something, like sometimes I feel like in the 2nd rak'a, I say the Imbrahemeit salah. Or in the 3rd after the fatiha I add a bismillah forgetting that I don't need to add a short surah. Does this invalidate my prayer?

Thank you in advance!

-Tala


Tagged as: , , , , ,

4 Responses »

  1. This is a common case and shaitan is inducing is .being discharged for having seen any hot stuff is very common o girls. It doesn't make the shower mandatory until you have intercourse or mastebate or you want to get your self pure after your period

    So above case you mentioned really doesn't need any shower. If you smell the fart then you have to do ablution again if not you have to think this is coming from shaitan. The more you give the priority the more shaitan will provoke your or put you in the confusion.

    The best part is you have to ignore all of them because the thing you afraid actually is not worth to be frightened. They are not a issue to Islam that makes you great impure. So chill and avoid it.

  2. Salamualaikum

    Most of the problems you've cited, from what I've read, will not invalidate your salah. It's great that you are very conscientious about your ibadah. I would recommend searching for the individual problems on YouTube to figure out details. Make sure the person explaining gives reference to Quran or sahih hadeeth and not just made up stuff without background.
    I have a similar problem like yours in one respect and I was told multiple times that it doesn't even invalidate wudu let alone requiring a shower. But the ruling could be different for men vs women so please check more detail into that.

    Always remember our Prophet pbuh encouraged everyone to make things easy and not make it difficult.

    I will post here if I find more specific responses. As for the farting issue it's clear that either audible sound or bad smell. As for adding something and forgetting something in salah, unless it is of the things that makes the salah invalid, then no worries. Also err on side of caution i.e. If you doubt missing a rakat, add another one and don't stress yourself on it.

    May Allah swt accept our ibadah and grant us jannah from His absolute Mercy.. Aameen.

  3. My suggestion is to stay off social media. If something triggers a negative reaction, you should stay away from that particular thing. Find something else to do. Youtube often suggest videos in a similar category as the ones you normally watch, so I am afraid you will keep getting the same type of videos to pop up. Your innocence should be guarded because no one can "un" see something that is considered inappropriate, the images stay with you and it is hard to totally remove them from your thoughts. Hopefully there will be a suggestion that works for you.
    Salaams

  4. Al Salaamu Alaykum wa Rahmatu Allahi,

    You asked a very extensive question, and it seems that based on the nature of your questions that you have not gotten a proper education about when to make ghusl and what exactly you are accountable for during prayers, and how to manage the prayers with the factors you mentioned. I will try to tackle the points you made one by one.

    First of all, the validity of your prayers is assumed unless you KNOWINGLY do something to invalidate them. Things that invalidate the prayer are those that cause you to lose your wudu, not being properly covered, doing something during the prayer that is not part of the prayer itself (like talking or eating), being intoxicated during the prayer, and other things (an extensive list can be found here: https://islamqa.info/en/answers/87749/list-of-things-that-invalidate-the-prayer). Assuming you have not done any of these, you can assume your prayer is valid and in shaa Allah, He will accept those prayers.

    Secondly, having discharge in and of itself does not invalidate your ghusl or your wudu. Females are emitting discharge from their vaginas all the time as part of an automatic process to keep it clean and healthy. Any additional discharge that comes from being aroused is something you can make wudu for if you are certain that the discharge is from that and not something routine as mentioned before. Please be assured that any prayers you made prior to now without a wudu for this type of discharge are not held against you, because you were not clearly informed about what you need to make wudu for and what is not necessary. In any case, ghusl is not something you ever need to perform except in the following cases: finishing your menstruation, having an orgasm, having sexual intercourse (with or without orgasm) and purification after the bleeding from childbirth. (please see https://islamqa.info/en/answers/102504/she-did-not-know-that-madhiy-invalidates-wudoo-should-she-repeat-the-prayers for a fatwa on this related issue).

    Sister, one thing I want to make clear is that doubting yourself is not a valid reason to perform extra ablutions, whether ghusl or wudu. Take care to perform both correctly when you make them, and then leave it from your mind. To continue to wonder about something after you have performed it to the best of your ability is going to build a pattern of obsessive thinking, which is unhealthy and can lead to obsessive/compulsive habits that cause unnecessary stress and despair. Not to mention it can damage you physically, which you mentioned about bathing often in cold weather and the damage it caused to your skin and hair.

    I also want to add that any thoughts you have, whether during prayer or not, are not held against you. Thoughts are not something we are held accountable about, even if they are of something "sinful". We are held accountable for our actions only. Most of us have thoughts about things not related to the prayer itself during the time of salat just out of human weakness and carelessness. Some of us struggle with tempting thoughts or sinful thoughts during the prayer, whether of lust or anger or other things. But Alhamdulillah, what matters to Allah is that we keep praying and continue to try to focus on our prayers while we make them. It's something we spend a lifetime doing, so it is a waste of energy worrying about how many or in which ways we may have failed at this, or how many ways we could fail in the future. Be assured that you don't have to redo any prayers because of your lack of focus or because you thought about things that were "sinful" when you prayed.

    Again, for the case of your passing wind during the prayer, the prayer is only invalid if you are CERTAIN you did so. If you are not certain, then the prayer and the wudu is still vaild.

    Finally, forgetting things during the prayer (whether that means leaving out a part that was supposed to be done, or being unsure if you did something more than necessary) does not invalidate the prayer. We all forget things during the prayer from time to time, and we were instructed to do only two extra prostrations after the last tashahud at the end of the prayer to compensate for anything we forgot or made a mistake about during the prayer. That is sufficient for Allah, and that should be sufficient for us as well. That is also the ONLY compensation we should offer during the prayer, regardless of what was omitted/forgotten/done extra.

    I get the feeling that you may struggle with anxiety. It seems that the constant anxiety, which generates numerous thoughts of worry and doubt, are causing distraction to you when you pray, which may cause you to miss or forget things in the prayer itself. I suggest that you consider seeking a therapist to help with this anxiety, because by nature, anxiety tends to grow over time and will push to take over more areas of your life until you feel completely imprisoned by it.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

Leave a Response