Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Constant fear of my prayers being invalid due to impurity

Muslim woman praying at the Blue Mosque in TurkeyHello, these are regular problems I face almost daily that make me doubt the validity of my prayers.

Sometimes while scrolling in Instagram or YouTube, etc. I come across some inappropriate videos or pictures, and they make me feel some kind of way, I don't know what it is, and sometimes I get discharge. I DON'T intentionally think these thoughts or stimulate anything by myself (e.g. my finger) or watch bad stuff intentionally. It happens by itself or by accident (like social media).

Afterwards I do ghusl, but sometimes I get multiple times a day especially before prayer time or near it so it makes me doubt myself and I keep doing ghusl, but it is exhausting to do ghusl 5 times a day especially since it is winter and snowy where I live now and it damages my hair and skin. and is frustrating as sometimes before I even get dressed I get them again and just feel guilty to pray without doing ghusl as I think I'm not pure.

So now I resorted to doing ghusl once a day before fajr ( If I can, sometimes I don't, woke up late, or showered closely before it, like the night before) and just do wudu and changing cloths for the rest of the prayers. This is mainly for 2 reasons:

1. It is frustrating to keep doing ghusl 5 times a day and arouses suspicion from family.

2. My mum told me that I should stop showering all the time. (I don't know how to bring the topic up with her and feel ashamed and scared of how she would react to this, so I didn't tell her and don't plan on telling her).

I sometimes suspect some discharge transferred from my hand to my dress and I can't change my dress multiple times a day as that is suspicious.

What do I do? Is ghusl necessary each time, or is it only necessary if it was physical, like masturbation and intercourse?

Is what I'm doing now- ghusl once a day- right and my prayers will be valid, or do it is wrong?

If it is wrong, do I have to redo my prayers in such a situation of resorting to doing it once a day due to its excessiveness, but knowing that it could be or should be necessary each time? What if I got these thoughts while in prayer, I ask Allah (swt) for forgiveness in prayer when it happens, but does it affect my prayer and I have to redo?

Also, sometimes I feel a fart coming out but I hold it in for 2-3 seconds and I feel the pressure subside little by title in also 2-3 seconds, but I'm not sure where it goes, in or out. I continue my salah as I didn't hear a pop, or the smell. I breathe through my mouth while praying in order to read Quran and it is much easier while moving to use my mouth rather than nose. I try to sniff for a few seconds, but I don't smell anything and I'm not sure if a few seconds is enough to detect a smell or not. Is my prayer valid in such case?

Sometimes, I also doubt if I missed a part in the prayer, like a rak'a or a surah or the tashahud. And sometimes I'm scared that I addedd something, like sometimes I feel like in the 2nd rak'a, I say the Imbrahemeit salah. Or in the 3rd after the fatiha I add a bismillah forgetting that I don't need to add a short surah. Does this invalidate my prayer?

Thank you in advance!

-Tala


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14 Responses »

  1. This is a common case and shaitan is inducing is .being discharged for having seen any hot stuff is very common o girls. It doesn't make the shower mandatory until you have intercourse or mastebate or you want to get your self pure after your period

    So above case you mentioned really doesn't need any shower. If you smell the fart then you have to do ablution again if not you have to think this is coming from shaitan. The more you give the priority the more shaitan will provoke your or put you in the confusion.

    The best part is you have to ignore all of them because the thing you afraid actually is not worth to be frightened. They are not a issue to Islam that makes you great impure. So chill and avoid it.

  2. Salamualaikum

    Most of the problems you've cited, from what I've read, will not invalidate your salah. It's great that you are very conscientious about your ibadah. I would recommend searching for the individual problems on YouTube to figure out details. Make sure the person explaining gives reference to Quran or sahih hadeeth and not just made up stuff without background.
    I have a similar problem like yours in one respect and I was told multiple times that it doesn't even invalidate wudu let alone requiring a shower. But the ruling could be different for men vs women so please check more detail into that.

    Always remember our Prophet pbuh encouraged everyone to make things easy and not make it difficult.

    I will post here if I find more specific responses. As for the farting issue it's clear that either audible sound or bad smell. As for adding something and forgetting something in salah, unless it is of the things that makes the salah invalid, then no worries. Also err on side of caution i.e. If you doubt missing a rakat, add another one and don't stress yourself on it.

    May Allah swt accept our ibadah and grant us jannah from His absolute Mercy.. Aameen.

  3. My suggestion is to stay off social media. If something triggers a negative reaction, you should stay away from that particular thing. Find something else to do. Youtube often suggest videos in a similar category as the ones you normally watch, so I am afraid you will keep getting the same type of videos to pop up. Your innocence should be guarded because no one can "un" see something that is considered inappropriate, the images stay with you and it is hard to totally remove them from your thoughts. Hopefully there will be a suggestion that works for you.
    Salaams

  4. Al Salaamu Alaykum wa Rahmatu Allahi,

    You asked a very extensive question, and it seems that based on the nature of your questions that you have not gotten a proper education about when to make ghusl and what exactly you are accountable for during prayers, and how to manage the prayers with the factors you mentioned. I will try to tackle the points you made one by one.

    First of all, the validity of your prayers is assumed unless you KNOWINGLY do something to invalidate them. Things that invalidate the prayer are those that cause you to lose your wudu, not being properly covered, doing something during the prayer that is not part of the prayer itself (like talking or eating), being intoxicated during the prayer, and other things (an extensive list can be found here: https://islamqa.info/en/answers/87749/list-of-things-that-invalidate-the-prayer). Assuming you have not done any of these, you can assume your prayer is valid and in shaa Allah, He will accept those prayers.

    Secondly, having discharge in and of itself does not invalidate your ghusl or your wudu. Females are emitting discharge from their vaginas all the time as part of an automatic process to keep it clean and healthy. Any additional discharge that comes from being aroused is something you can make wudu for if you are certain that the discharge is from that and not something routine as mentioned before. Please be assured that any prayers you made prior to now without a wudu for this type of discharge are not held against you, because you were not clearly informed about what you need to make wudu for and what is not necessary. In any case, ghusl is not something you ever need to perform except in the following cases: finishing your menstruation, having an orgasm, having sexual intercourse (with or without orgasm) and purification after the bleeding from childbirth. (please see https://islamqa.info/en/answers/102504/she-did-not-know-that-madhiy-invalidates-wudoo-should-she-repeat-the-prayers for a fatwa on this related issue).

    Sister, one thing I want to make clear is that doubting yourself is not a valid reason to perform extra ablutions, whether ghusl or wudu. Take care to perform both correctly when you make them, and then leave it from your mind. To continue to wonder about something after you have performed it to the best of your ability is going to build a pattern of obsessive thinking, which is unhealthy and can lead to obsessive/compulsive habits that cause unnecessary stress and despair. Not to mention it can damage you physically, which you mentioned about bathing often in cold weather and the damage it caused to your skin and hair.

    I also want to add that any thoughts you have, whether during prayer or not, are not held against you. Thoughts are not something we are held accountable about, even if they are of something "sinful". We are held accountable for our actions only. Most of us have thoughts about things not related to the prayer itself during the time of salat just out of human weakness and carelessness. Some of us struggle with tempting thoughts or sinful thoughts during the prayer, whether of lust or anger or other things. But Alhamdulillah, what matters to Allah is that we keep praying and continue to try to focus on our prayers while we make them. It's something we spend a lifetime doing, so it is a waste of energy worrying about how many or in which ways we may have failed at this, or how many ways we could fail in the future. Be assured that you don't have to redo any prayers because of your lack of focus or because you thought about things that were "sinful" when you prayed.

    Again, for the case of your passing wind during the prayer, the prayer is only invalid if you are CERTAIN you did so. If you are not certain, then the prayer and the wudu is still vaild.

    Finally, forgetting things during the prayer (whether that means leaving out a part that was supposed to be done, or being unsure if you did something more than necessary) does not invalidate the prayer. We all forget things during the prayer from time to time, and we were instructed to do only two extra prostrations after the last tashahud at the end of the prayer to compensate for anything we forgot or made a mistake about during the prayer. That is sufficient for Allah, and that should be sufficient for us as well. That is also the ONLY compensation we should offer during the prayer, regardless of what was omitted/forgotten/done extra.

    I get the feeling that you may struggle with anxiety. It seems that the constant anxiety, which generates numerous thoughts of worry and doubt, are causing distraction to you when you pray, which may cause you to miss or forget things in the prayer itself. I suggest that you consider seeking a therapist to help with this anxiety, because by nature, anxiety tends to grow over time and will push to take over more areas of your life until you feel completely imprisoned by it.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Hello Amy

      I also have similar problem, if unintentionally I see hot stuff and cloudy discharge come out, do I do ghusal? All websites say that clear discharge only needs wudu if caused by arousal, but for me it's cloudy. Is it because I only checked after hours the colour changed? Or It came out cloudy? Nonetheless, wudu or ghusal?

      Also, yesterday when I went to make wudu I kept having gas everytime I tried to start the wudu and even after an hour of trying to make proper wudu, it kept happening, so I got super frustrated and ignored everything and just did wudu while holding gas in and then went to pray. In the prayer, I kept doing mistake after mistakes and kept restarting. Around 8-10 times, then when I seemed to finally be able to pray and kind of stopped feeling gas in the prayer, I smelled something, but at this point it had taken me 1 hour and 30 min to pray fajr, so I just ignored and continued my prayer and then after it, I made a dua for Allah to accept my prayer despite anything and to forgive me.

      Is what I did right? Do I have to go re-do?

      -Himari

    • Hello again Amy,

      I sometimes when I wake up, find some yellow, but it is not like my usual slimy discharge. It looks like thin paint absorbed into the pad. The thing is, I don't remember any wet dream and didn't even think I had one until I went to the bathroom and saw the yellow. It happens 2-5 times a month, and I don't know the ruling on it because if I had a wet dream, I will need a bath, but I don't remember having one and yet see yellow discharge or something paint like, it coud be leftover pee? I'm not sure. Thank you!

      -Himari

    • Amy, take your time with answering, but one last question. I sometimes get gas problems that annoy me and tend to mostly show up around prayer time and it holds me back from doing the prayer properly because I have to repeat it 4-5 times due to the gas, so once when I complained to my mom, she told me that on my 3rd attempt of wudu and prayer, I should just ignore as I did my best at that point and it's ok to pray even if gas. Can I do that? I know I should trust my mum, but my doubt kills me, especially when I know allah will be angry at me if I don't pray or pray with a broken ablution and I don't want to face his anger or pray in hell. Help me please!

    • Hello Amy,

      I have been using this post for almost 2 years as a guide, but I stumbled upon a new problem. I felt feelings of desire, but I am certain I did not have a climax and I don't necessarily remember any throbbing, hours later, I saw faint light yellow discharge and I am not sure if it is sexual fluid. I am also at the end of my period and I am not sure if it could be from that or not as it does not happen before, but everything has a first, and I also was holding my pee until I found a toilet. There are many factors to take into consideration and I am not sure which it could be or if it needs ghusl so I just changed and did wudu for prayer. I hope you can guide me with this too.

      -Tala

      • Asalamualaykum everyone,

        If one passes gas repeatedly on a regular basis, it is sufficient to do wudu once and then pray, even if one passes gas during the prayer. Because of the regularity of the gas, the prayer is not invalid as long as one has done wudu before the prayer (made their best effort). However, if you are passing gas repeatedly, this signals a health/medical concern, and one should see their doctor about this. It could be that something in the diet or other imbalance in the body is causing this. But as for the prayer, it is valid, as we are only to do our very best. And Allah knows best what that is.

        Tala, if you were at the end of your period as you say, then you need to do Ghusl regardless of whether there was additional yellow fluid or not. If you've already done ghusl and the yellow fluid came afterwards and you've never seen it before, you should see a doctor to be on the safe side, but as Amy says above, you needn't repeat the ghusl.

        Best,

        Nor
        IslamicAnswers

        • Thank you for your helpful reply. But what about throbbing "down there". I sometimes feel it with or without sexual thoughts. I just sometimes get aroused and when I try to ignore it, I accidentally trigger 1-3 throbs. They only need wudu and changing if there is discharge but no ghusl? This does not happen all the time.

          One. day could pass without any problems, and the next I could be having constant gas, then a whole week without problems, and then 3 days with problems so I can't classify my self as someone with chronic issue as it is not always present. Sometimes a 4/5 prayers ate fine, but on the last one, I keep messing up or getting gazy or any other problem.

          • Asalamualaykum Tala,

            To be on the safe side, you should inquire on a site that gives fatwas, but I can tell you that logically, if you are regularly having throbbing and can't control it (and we cannot always control our thoughts), and have already performed ghusl, then wudu and changing your undergarments should be enough. It wouldn't make sense to do ghusl 3-4 times a day, for example, if that is how frequently you have throbbing! That is excess and Allah's guidance is moderation in all things, and He wouldn't require something unrealistic. And Allah knows best.

            Nor
            IslamicAnswers

          • Hello,

            I did inquire, but their answers are generic and very confusing.
            Also, multiple websites said different things:

            1.Some told me to do ghusl every time,

            2.others said it does not require ghusl at all just wudu,

            3. and others said to renew wudu for each prayer,

            4. and others said it was only required to do ghusl or wudu if there was discharge and I have discharge most of the time due to hormonal imbalances so I can not tell if it is from the throbbing or my medication and hormones or my natural cycle like before or after a period.

            5.Some said that the throbbing is normal and does not need anything unless there is a climax while others said it needs a ghusl nonetheless.

            For me it happens without sexual thought like when I am holding my pee in at school since we don't have bathrooms due to drug problems, or when I am nervous or angry. It is like my while body shakes. Sometimes it is with sexual thought and in both occasions they feel the same so I can not tell the difference!

            I sometimes do ghusl at night, but then less than 24 hours later, I am not sure if it counts because it is from the day before or vice versa.
            This is a very complicated matter as it comes and goes so I can not be considered a person with consistency.

            Sometimes for 2-3 months there is nothing and then I have a whole week with such problems. Also when it happens in public, I am not sure if I should pray or not so I might miss prayers.

            I am not even sure if what I have is the same as the sexual throbbing or what they think as I don't know what it feels like, I just assumed it was a sexual thing because it is down there. The only way I can describe it is that it feels like when you really need to use the bathroom and there is the slight burn and pressure down there like a singe throb, a pulsing feeling just like one pass.

          • Tala,

            I agree with the scholar who said that you should simply perform wudu before each prayer. Refer to my advice regarding passing gas regularly. If you have a condition where you are regularly releasing discharge, it would be extreme to do full ghusl each time. Remember in all circumstances that Islam is a religion of ease. If something is getting very complicated or leading you to much confusion, it is most likely that you are overthinking and not doing something right.

            To be on the safe side, I would advise you to do wudu before each prayer rather than being confused whether or not you are still in wudu and overanalyzing it. I believe that is the easiest option. Inshallah that is enough, and Allah knows best what your capabilities and efforts are.

            Best,

            Nor
            IslamicAnswers

  5. Asalam aleykum I’ve a question please

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