Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I had sexual relations with a cousin without her consent. Is Allah disappointed in me?


I am pretty confused and sad right now. Of course I am, and I will ask forgiveness from my Almighty God Allah.

But I used to sleep with a girl--my cousin--who was younger than me. I didn't have deep knowledge about zina, and I had oral sex with her. I never asked for her consent, or if she wants to do it...I did it merely because I couldn't control my urges. I've never had intercourse; I had tried intercourse before but thank God, I'd always change my mind or wouldn't be in a position to do so. So is doing oral sex (other different types of sex except intercourse):

1) made me a sinner?

2) Is it punishable?

3) Will Allah be disappointed in me because of what I did? (Now I know that it is haram to do, so will never ever even think of it.

Please answer above three questions.

Thank you,


Tagged as: , , , ,

4 Responses »

  1. This is absolutely disgusting. You sexually assaulted your cousin and you’re wondering if God will forgive you? You will not be forgiven until the person you hurt forgives you so that is what you need to do.

    That poor girl can never trust anyone again, and probably blames herself. I pray she heals from the permanent trauma you caused. There is no justification for what you did - you can very well control your urges. Please go get help. Normal people don’t go sexually assaulting innocent people.

  2. Please take anything I say with a pinch of salt and I will try advice you to my best of ability. And I will answer all your questions in order.

    Does it make you a sinner? If you say you did not know it was haram then no it doesn't make you a sinner as it would not be fair to judge someone who cant tell from right to wrong. But there is a difference between someone who was neglecting the truth vs the one who did not have access to the truth. In your case I believe it was sheer negligence (god knows best) . And if you cannot see what is wrong with asking a girl to give you oral without consent or anything , then something is clearly wrong with you and would need some therapy.

    And of course it's punishable like every other sin. The level of the sin you committed I'm not sure something you would need to speak to a scholar about.

    God is the one who created the heavens and the earth, he's the most powerful. And of course he forgives any sin as long as your sincere and change from the behaviour and don't come close. God doesn't make you pay a price for your sin if you repent and with Ramadan around the corner something you should take advantage of. Ask for forgiveness and make dua that she forgives you and that you become a better person. And then move on from the situation and don't share it with anyone.

    Also be prepared if she does take you to court and if you still have a relationship with her I would let her know what you did was wrong and maybe she can forgive you one day and encourage her to maybe see counselling if it still affects her.

  3. Asalaam Aleikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatuh
    If I had oral sex after Iftar with a person I am not married with, I'm I required to compensate the day o go a head with my fasting
    Thank you

    • Amir, you are missing the point of Ramadan. Allah does not need your hunger during the day. He wants you to use Ramadan as an opportunity to purify your soul and become a better Muslim. It is not good to fast during the day and commit sins at night. You can do better than this, inshaAllah. May Allah give us strength.

      Wael Editor

Leave a Response