Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I really like this man… I’m only 13?

Woman alone

So I really like this man, and he is my cousin. I have my feelings that he might like me back. His actions are showing this. But, the thing is I do not want the relationship to get too far. This is because I don't want to commit zina. I truly do love him, but lately, he's been touching me a little. Not in the private areas, but my head and my face. I have been having fantasies about him too, like sexual ones and even marital ones. I sound psychopathic, but I just have all of these thoughts because of my sexual desires and the loving I have been deprived of. I also feel like these are just my hormones, but I really do like him, and I have for about 2 years now. I feel like I have to ignore him before the relationship gets too far. I just don't know how to ignore him without hurting his feelings. Please help me on what I should do to ignore him without hurting his feelings..I'm only 13 and he's 16.


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2 Responses »

  1. Hi Sweetie and assalaamualaykum,

    You are very intelligent in your reasons for not wanting this to go any further, and as much as you are worried about hurting his feelings, it is your own that you need to protect in this situation. You are already emotionally attached to him, as you are concerned for him, and continued interaction will only make this attachment stronger.

    So detach and avoid further physical contact. You are worth it! Maybe in a few years, you will be in a better place to get married, and if you are still interested in him at that time, you can talk to your parents about it.

    May Allah bless you with happiness.



  2. Asalam Alekum
    Say "Audhu billahi mina sheydani Rajim" whenever his thoughts come to your head.
    Its Sheitan whispering to you.Also read Muadhatein frequently when you know he will be around.And do not allow to be alone with him anywhere,the devil will accompany you and you will be 3.You alone against them 2.You will lose.
    The fact is that Allah loves and cares for you more than any one.More than your cousin.The satan is your enemy.He wants you to lose your dignity at a young age and become a cheap girl.Satan will fight you Constantly untill you depart this world.So run to Allah.And seek his guidance.If you annoy Allah your life will be miserable,diffucult and get punishment in the hereafter.
    Life is not about relationSHIP!!
    Life Is about WorSHIP!!
    Read Suratul Yusuf and learn from Prophet Yusuf (AS).He abstained because of fear of Allah,and he knew that satan is his enemy.Look at his Later success!!

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