Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My wife cheated on me…twice

Asalamualaikum brothers and sisters,

I consider myself a good guy busy with life routines and I have a good job. Life looked so beautiful and smooth. I have four children.

However, I caught my wife cheating on me for the second time and she committed the major sin of sleeping with another man younger than her. The first time she cheated on me, we had only two children and she then repented and started prayers and reading the Quran for repentance. This time again she has started reading her prayers more deeply.

She swore on the Holy Quran and on our heads that she did nothing but I've proved it. I am so hurt and something is killing me from inside to take revenge on her and the guy she slept with, but I care for my children as they will be left alone if I divorce her--my children will bear the pain.

It is Allah who forgives, and even if I somehow manage to forgive her, what certainty do I have that she'll be fair with me? After all, this is the second time she's cheated on me.

I feel a burning sensation in my head as if my brain is going to blow whole body aches with pain and I can not discuss all this with anyone, although I do pray. Please read carefully and try to understand my situation and suggest what should I do it's been three months since she cheated and I am unable to control myself forever.


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6 Responses »

  1. I think you should leave them . And married to someone else who is poor and respect you and take care for you children

    • Salaam alaikum

      I can tell you're a good man who is very thoughtful and over protective, but it's also one of your weaknesses. You're soon to be ex wife is here taking advantage of that . Divorce her immediately and take the kids with you . I don't know how you forgave her the first time but now again?? Hell no! She has to go in this moment. And get your kids DNA tested to make sure they're actually yours . And get tested for any std .

      The anger and the emotions you're going through,use it to motivate yourself to make lives of you and your kids better. A bad wife is easy to replace. Just have faith in yourself and God .and you will overcome this . Punish your wife by not looking at her and whenever you do, do it with a disgusted look. If she ever touch a part of your skin make sure you bleach that area .

      Go to the gym , take more time off work if you can, read the Qur'an . All this should help you be mindful and keep your sanity.

  2. Assalamualaikum Brother, being a women I can easily say you are good human and with great values for your relationship....Alhumdulilah someone who can forgive a zina of thr spouse give them a chance has proved their life is about living for others happiness and not selflish....Allah will bless you with calmness this is a testing time hold it and trust Allah you worried about children are u sure she would be a good role model for your children being a mother if she has take such step the forget of being a wife as I knw a feeling of mother who would never even think of such sin doing is far far away..........THE QUESTION IS NOT ABOUT YOUR KIDS WIL BE LEFT ALONE ITS ABOUT WHAT KIND OF UPBRINGING YOU WANT TO GIVE THEM.....REMEMBER AT LAST WE ARE ANSWERABLE TO ALLAH ....TALK TO YOUR WIFE AND TELL HER ABOUT THE CONDITIONS SHE HAS LEFT U AND KIDS WITH.....dont worry Allah is great and he will take care of children but u keeping such kind of relationship with wife when she has done zina repeatedly what would u answer when ur kids ask this ....

  3. Asalamualaykum,

    I agree with the advice given by the previous posters 🙂


  4. Assalamu alaikum brother,

    I can feel your pain completely though i have not experienced something similar to this in my life alhamdhulillah..

    You are a good man thats why you are thinking about your children and worrying their future but your wife doesn't deserve this gpod quality of yours.

    You can talk with some of your elder family members and take a decision if you feel that you can cleanse your wife over finaland strict warning and retain her may be you can consider that as well..Allah will give you reward for your patience in multiplefolds..i really wish to talk you for few minutes hut this platform will not allow sharing contacts with one another i guess


  5. Hmm…where have you been. Please update us. I am not sure if you can trust this woman. She clearly doesn’t feel guilty, slept with another man and then lying by swearing of the Quran is even worse. You sure do have patience to stay. I’d check your kids DNA. Maybe you can stay separated and see how things go.

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