Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Father sexually abuses me, mother will not help

Sexual abuseAssalamu Alaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh. I'm from India Maharashtra. Now I'm 15 years old ... and i belong from a middle class family.

My dad is sexually abusing me when I was in class seventh. Actually when he did these I don't what is happening and what he doing. But now after 1 year I know what he did or what he doing that is totally wrong.

I tried to tell my mom and I said her before 4 months ..but she can't do anything ...becoz she was a non Muslim but she accepted Islam, and left her family for my dad and for Islam (so she has no one else).

But when I said to her, I don't know why she didn't tells anything to my dad.

If I shout then my dad beats me... he gives me what things I want ...but when he did anything wrong and I shout so he is using bad words.

As well as he said to my mom that I'm in wrong path, and that I have a haram relationship with some boys, which is not true. Allah knows me better and I know I didn't did anything wrong.

Yesterday he did same mistake and I said him, I hate you, don't talk with me. And I also said him don't touch me and u don't have to take care of me. But he didn't did apologize and he didn't realize what he is doing is totally wrong.

Please suggest me what can I do? And I can't have much patience for these some days I think I should have to commit a suicide but I can't becoz it's Haram in Islam. I hope Allah will do all right, in Sha Allah.

But please suggest me what should I do. (These is not my phone and email. I don't know what will happened with me in future. Please suggest me what should I do ?)

-InnocentGirl


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11 Responses »

  1. Assalamualikum sister,

    Firstly, dont lose hope on Allah's mercy. Allah is aware of everything that is happening with you. Read lots of Istagfar.

    Second, please do not think of doing suicide, it is haram. Best for you is to make hijrat for Allah's cause, get out of that place you live in.

    Do tauba even if you are not wrong.

    Make dua for me sister as I am going through hardship in life especially with making hijrat to another place for Allah's cause, it has become increasingly hard with family putting pressure not to make hijrat.

    Regards
    Fahad

  2. Sister plz be strong and forget about suicide. I know ur situation is very tough but u have to find a way out of it. Try to get out of ur city by taking admission in a school for further studies far away in some other state or city. Warn ur dad about the punishment of Allah as well as tell him that if he do not stop, u r gonna take this issue out of the family. ur mom should help u but it's shocking that she does not care about this issue. Be patient and Don't lose hope. Keep asking Allah to help u.

    • Oh dear what a horrendous situation you are in .May Allah help you get away from this monstrous of a Father! Please inform someone who can help you out of this. If we know where you are I mean which country/place you could oh d be guided to contact the right person to help you. It Not your fault, your father is a sick man he need to be locked up.

      You and your mum need to get away and make a decent life..No one is alone ask your mum to take you away from your dad. Allah is there Allah helps those who seeks help.persuade your mum to hel you get away..she is an adult she can do it. Encourage he make her believe that you and her can trust Allah and take a decision. Allah will help you INsha Allah..I feel so sad for you and all children who get abused by their own loved ones.:(
      Read. You have taken the first step. Please seek help don’t worry about other people. Quran with meaning.Recite Aytal kursI.
      Read Quran aloud so your sick dad can hear them perhaps Shaytan in him may go away. Listen to scholars loud so your dad get massage too about day of judgement where he will have to answer

      Don’t give up continue being strong. May I suggest you let your school council know. Make doa. Don’t underestimate the power of doa. Doa made by innocent daughter will be answered IA.

      May Allah protect you from the evilness of your Dad.
      Recite in abundance the following:Allah has promised to answer and accept doa like he accepted Yunus aleislams doa in the belly of the fish?
      La iLaha iLLA Untas Subhanika INni KuntO MiNazzAlameen.

  3. You are a great girl who has realized on your own that these kind of things are wrong. Dear suidide is not the solution of any thing. I suggest you to talk to your any trusty mature and elderly person. If you have your Dadi might be she could help you in this regards. It’s totally sad situation, you make contact to Zakir Naik he has the setups to help people who are in trouble anyways. May Allah SWT forgive our sins. Be brave and take courageous step. Do not feel alone. Allah SWT is with you. Do you have any sister ? If so you may talk to her too.

  4. Assalamuaikum Innocent girl.

    First and foremost, you have done nothing wrong. You are the victim. You are going through a lot right now. It is understandable that you are having the thoughts you are when you feel there is no way out. However, please remember:

    1) Allah loves you
    2) Allah created you perfectly
    3) Allah sees you try your best
    4) Allah can hear you, and HE does hear YOU.
    5) Allah is merciful.

    Please remember Allah loves you and it is humans who are wrong. Your father is suppose to protect you! And he is not protecting you or your mother! He is at complete fault. And he knows he is wrong. There is no need to tell him. He is abusing you in the worst way and then spreading lies about you. I can see why your mother would feel trapped since she left her family to be with him. What a disappointment she must feel!
    I am not saying she is right, but it is hard when both of you feel there is no way out and no protection. Protection is a basic need of a human being and Allah put men on this earth to protect women and children and Islam as a guide on how to do that. The Prophet Muhammad (S) was the best of creation and he treated his wives and all children better than anyone. None of what is being done to you is in Islam nor is it right. It is unjust.

    Little sister these people are failing you!

    I do not know anything about India. We are in America and my family is from Pakistan.

    Do you have domestic abuse shelters in India, in your area? Are there Muslim led shelters for women and girls? Can you go to one to escape your situation to a shelter without anyone in your family knowing? Can you go to a boarding school? Is there money saved somewhere? Can you go on scholarship? Can you get refugee status? Do you have siblings? are they in trouble too? Is there counseling available? Somebody mentioned Zaik Naik. Please research him online and how you can reach out to his organization.

    Please be careful. All I can see is that you need to get out, but safely! With a safe destination, school or shelter. And probably without your father knowing because he may not let you go--either out of fear of his sins being exposed or him wanting to control you and your mother!

    We are so sorry you are going through this. Please do not consider suicide. You are amazing. You are strong. You are a fighter. You are a survivor. You are loved.

    You are now in all of our duas. Ya Rab make it easy for you and all our Muslim sisters and children across the world, from the Americas, Europe to Africa, Middle East and Asia to protect all little girls, women, and children from the evil in this world near and far from home. Ameen.

  5. Yes I have siblings .I know them ...but they don't know me ......

    • Dear Innocent Girl ,

      What a devil person he is . He needs to be severely punished by the law .
      If nobody around is helping you out then take help of your teacher or school management who can listen to you and redirect case to some child care committee .
      Also try to find child care helpline from google of your city (which city ?)and send your complaint to them against this devil .

  6. Assalamu Alaikum
    Dear sister, my heart goes out to you.
    I know you may feel confused and Anxious at the moment, this is a very difficult situation that you are in but rest assure Allah is with you and will give you the strength you need to get though theses dark times. Sister there is a few things that you must do. First of all you need to tell a person in Authority like a teacher, doctor or a social worker they will get you the help you need. Your mum is obviously as scared as you are but you were brave enough to tell her. Now you must take the next step, I know you must still have love for your father because he is still your dad but what he has done is very disgusting and unacceptable and he must realise that as well. The person who is supposed to care and protect you from harm has violated you. And he must accept the consequences. So please sis tell someone in Authority to get you out of that situation ASAP
    May Allah help,bless and protect you Always. Ameen

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