Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Must I attend my cousin’s wedding if he molested me as a child?

Sexual abuse


My question is about cutting ties with relatives, as it is prohibited.

But my paternal first-relatives, like my aunt (my father's sister), used to create fitnah in our house, so much so that I only have bad memories (I won't go into disgusting details) from their presence. For example, I just met my aunt after a long time. She didn't respond to my salaam and she gave me bad attitude, but I ignored that and moved on to greeting my other guests.

There's also an issue going on with my father about the property (house I'm living in with my family). They want some share in it which my father had already given to them from my grandfather and grandmother's share (everything, even his own share). This property was built by my father's income and salary alone and my father named it under my grandfather on paper. That has made the issue. They have been given all of their shares...they even stole my mum's jewelry and a lot of stuff when she left this house for a long time.

When I meet them, their eyes don't show love but envy. My aunt's son (cousin), who's getting married in two weeks, sexually abused me when I was 5 or 6 years old. I remember everything, I remember the hours of crying from these memories. I hate being around them. They don't motivate me for any good. Now, my father loves them so much, he had literally raised my cousin (whom I want to keep distance with) in my house for years. and my father will drag me to death but make me present in their wedding.

If I rebel, is this allowed in my context of reasons to disobey him? And is it okay if I don't go to the wedding? I don't want to cut ties but in my culture it would mean "cutting ties." I just don't want them to see me (my life, how I am doing because I've been very down lately). Please respond to my question as I want to know if I am right or it sinful? because I don't want to sin.


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4 Responses »

  1. Asalaamu Aliakum

    You dont need to do anything you dont feel right about doing in your heart. Allah The Exalted has given us all a moral compass in our heart. Be brave, live your life in accordance with what you feel is right, and then do it, execute that vision without fear of anyone except Allah

  2. If you don’t have the courage to tell your dad about his nephew then attend then wedding and don’t get too involve and stay in the corner at the party. It will feel weird to go I know.

  3. Asalamualaykum jagg,

    I think this situation may be a test for you...and finally give you an opportunity to open up to your father about what happened to you in the hands of your relative. If you don't want to come out about what happened, you can just tell your parents that you are not feeling well enough to go to a wedding right now, which is actually are very stressed about this!

    Do not feel like you owe this cousin of yours anything. He has completely violated you. Therefore, I would not go to his wedding if at all possible. It will only make your feel uncomfortable and pained.



  4. Attend the wedding and warn the bride

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