Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I look at my elder brother’s wife while she is sleeping


I am the youngest one in a family of three brothers and one sister. My eldest brother got married eight years ago and the second-oldest has married five years ago. According to my track record, I have never ever even tried to see or stare negatively at any of my sister-in-laws or any of my cousins in my whole life.

However, for the last three months, a very strange thing happened to me. In the middle of the night, in a sleepy and unconscious state, I went to my sister-in-law's room in a fully hyper-sexual mood and I stand beside her bed and start looking at her body in a lust. After two minutes, I came to my senses and I ran away to my room, got frightened, and started thinking "how did this happen?"

My brother doesn't sleep with his wife...their relationship is very complicated. She is alone all night in her room. This thing happened with me repeatedly seven times and I am very upset with this happening to me because if one day my brother sees this, my house will be destroyed.

One thing about my sister in law: Her mother is from the type of people into Black Magic stuff which I have confirmed from many people. Now I don't know how to overcome this situation as I never do this with my own will. I am not even in a conscious state when this happens to me in thed middle of the night! Please help.


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10 Responses »

  1. Salam Saif

    give some excuse to your family and leave the house for some time.

    to get protected from the black majic, please do morning (before sunrise) and evening (before sunset) azkar every day without laziness. You can find the azkar on youtube.

    All the best

  2. Are you blaming your sister in law mother’s black magic for your sexual desires to visit her room. This is hilarious. It’s all you. It’s not a good idea to live in a joint family, non-mahram like you can have lusts. You need to get married and have a place of your own.

    • You guys should not be under the same household. And before you blame anyone else blame yourself because that behaviour is really creepy. Your risking your whole life over some lust. Imagine your life of what would happen if you got caught, your brother would knock you out and you would forever be known as the creep with no family.

      And "I have confirmed from many people" do you know how many times I have heard this ? It's basically rumours because if you asked the accuser how do you know ? They wil say so and so told me but so and so has never met the person. Then they change their stance to no her friends/family does it and they in her ear. So you did not confirm anything.

    • Aoa,

      First of all, everyone including me finds this habit of yours quite Disturbing and odd , at the same time, if this is what's actually happening to you then i can surely give you some advice.

      1- (Considering you live in a separate room, which you should too) you should lock your room before sleeping. It would be highly unlikely that you would be able to unlock the room in an unconscious state.

      2- Maybe you would want to tie your hand to a cloth attached to the bed

      3- Seven times is too much , remember you are at the borderline of something evil.

      4- you can fast as well , as fasting diminishes sexual power.

      Allah knows best

  3. Hi, I would advise to consult an healer who can help ascertain if its black magic.

    Some of the comments are ignorant. They have no idea what it's like to be under black magic. It's mind and soul destroying.

    I hope ruqyah might help you. I would also agree on moving else where so you don't continue this sin.

  4. Asalamyualaykum Brother,

    I think that Huzaifa gave you some good practical advice, especially if you indeed feel you have no control over this behavior of yours.

    Are you fixated on this woman during the day? Like do you daydream or fantasize about her? Because if so, then you may be dreaming about her in the night and then sleepwalking to her room. While we cannot always control our thoughts even during the day, if a repeated thought is leading to behaviour like this, then we are responsible for shifting our focus elsewhere to the extent that we can. Try to keep yourself busy with your own life and hobbies.

    It wouldn't be a bad idea to have a ruqyah done just to rule out black magic either. If neither of those things work, it is time for you to move out.



  5. Asalamu Alaykum,

    I would like to start and say that my parents are not bad people they're the most kindest people and deen following people, they ​care for me alot I know that and I know they want the best for me. I'm sorry I'm not good with words so this message may be all over the place.  

    I have something to ask , please advice me on it. I have been in an arranged marriage for the past 4 years. I have not seen the man in these four years at all. I agreed to the marriage because of my parents , I didn't want to hurt or disregard and disrespect them, even though I did not want and still do not want to be in this marriage, I was emotionally manipulated , forced to go with this marriage because he's a good man and that I will never find a man like him in my life (he's a relative) . They say they didn't force me and that  and I made the decision to go through with this and I made a promise I can't break. I agreed because of the immense pressure I was in, I was scared and wasn't  thinking properly. I refused 3 times and my parents didn't listen to me nor did he, evertyime I refused they kept shouting, ignoring me, saying horrible things to me. We keep on getting into  fights that have become problematic to me it's  so disgusting and unbearable.  They keep saying things like : "elders are involved in this ,what are people going to say about us, people are going to think we are people who break promises, Your going to ruin your sisters chances , our face/reputation  will be finished".  They're not thinking of me at all. My mental health I have struggled with in these 4 years, fits, severe anxiety, and panic attacks and that is disregarded  to and I get called names for it. What I'm trying to tell you is, is this OK or is this wrong. Should I be in this marriage for the sake of my parents or should I leave for my sake. I Really need help , I don't know who to talk to anymore. Please help.(I know I have rights in marriage and the right to refuse but unfortunately I have been robbed from it) .

    I hope this message comes to you safely. I hope you can read this message and advice me on it.


    • I think you have posted your same message already elsewhere. Your question doesn’t fit in this category.

      “I have been in an arranged marriage for the past 4 years. I have not seen the man in these four years at all”
      - You have been forced to get married, abused, name called, and you are severely depressed. Are you importing him or is he importing you to a nothing country? You didn’t mention. Your parents are doing you injustice in the name of culture not Islam. Leave this so called marriage when you have seen your husband in 4 years.

    • I am sorry , you have not seen the man in 4 years at all?? What kind of a marriage is it that you have not even seen him and your parents want you to remain in this complicated relation?

      Destroy our face in society , what will the People say are all cultural things which are used to torture females in unhappy marriages. 4 years of absence is an enough reason in itself to separate.

      It was forced , your mental and physical health is getting get name called , ignored and shouted at. You already know what you have to do and you wanted some affirmation before you did it, I think it is time you stand up for yourself and take the right decision.

      May Allah be with you.

    • Asalamualaykum Ano,

      We will publish your comment on the site as a separate post, InshaAllah. Please look out for it.


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