Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My uncle thinks his son is homosexual and wants us to beat the gay out of him

Homosexuality in Islam


My uncle has an 11-year-old son who is very weak and skinny for his age. He does not play sports or wrestle with other boys. He also does not yet have facial hair and his voice has not deepened so my uncle is afraid that his son is homosexual. My uncle says that his two nephews (me and my brother) should spend more time with his son/our cousin. My uncle says he will send his son to live with my brother and me where everyday we will wrestle with him to toughen him up and make him stronger. My uncle will return at the end of every week to measure his height, muscles, and see if his testicles have dropped yet.

The first day my uncle came to our house dropping his son off. He told his son that he would be staying with us until we made a man out of him even if we have to break him into two. His son started to complain so my uncle got angry and punched him in the face calling him a faggot. Then he ripped his son's shirt off because in the past our cousin would not wrestle with us because he was shy and would not take his shirt off. That always bothered my uncle who felt this was girly of his son so now he told his son that as long as he stayed with us, he would not be allowed to wear a shirt. He told us we could not give him a shirt so that his son would start to feel shamed for being so small and skinny when he sees the muscles my brother and I have. Then he took a razor and shaved his son's hair off because he felt his hair was too long and feminine which was making him act like a girl. Now his son has a buzzcut like my brother and I and we have been told to keep buzzing it every week so it does not grow back.

My uncle has told us that we need to wrestle with him everyday and if he ever walks or talks like a girl or whines we need to give him beatings. He says the beatings will be good for him because every boy has been punched before except his son and it will teach him to become stronger to fend for himself since my brother and me are both bigger and stronger.

My brother and I have been following our uncle's orders the first few days and continuously wrestling with our cousin until he is exhausted. He is super weak so he cannot do much to fight back and we have had to give him many beatings. But my brother and me are worried that we are only hurting him and not fixing him and that if we keep on punching or choking him, he will be seriously hurt.

Please help us,


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8 Responses »

  1. Salam,

    This is sheer inhumane and harassment of young boy.
    Even if his father is acting like a buffoon, at least you brothers can show some sanity while dealing with a 11 year old.

    I am ashamed to read that fathers like your uncle exist in our world. My heart goes out to the young boy of what all he has to endure at such a young age just because his maniac father wants to ensure that the son is not homosexual.

    So, do you think homosexuals are weak and skinny ? Is that the parameter ?
    All what is needed at the moment is that the young boy needs to be enrolled in some sports of his choice and super nutritious food and a supporting family with real Islamic values.
    He is being tortured just because fathers guesses he could be homosexual.
    Did anyone say with the kid and speak to him?
    Someone needs to be kind to the kind to the kid and speak to him in polite and loving manner. If he doesn’t hint or reflect anything father doubts then father should be held accountable for this behaviour.

    If the boy drops some hints which I doubt at this age , then parents need to intervene and explain him the beauty of Islam and how concept of homosexuality is screwed up. Someone needs to tell the kid to keep trying to be on the path guided by Allah S.W.T. and it’s a continuous struggle for the kid but fruits are rewarding. Kid can start watching lectures on Islamic life , observe fasting and attend masjid to be around the boys of his age who have great Islamic values.

    I clearly don’t see father capable of doing so, is mother or any other father figure in the family able to step up and help here.
    Poor kid needs love and care and guidance , not beatings wrestling and harassment to be shirtless in the house. Why should a boy be shirtless in the house - it’s not masculine but it’s shameful.
    If we have fathers like your uncle then I fear our next generation will be faltering in all they do.

    Please love him and guide him in Islamic way and be the beacon of the boy’s life -Allah will reward you for it.

    • Ya Allaaaaaahhhh ...

      What have I just read? You, your brother, and your uncles are BULLIES !!! ASTAGHFIRULLAH. This is Ramadan and you're beating 11 year old boy with your brother? Shame on you.

      Subhan Allaah ... I am extremely angry right now at your uncle and also a you two boys. Where are your parents? Why are they stay silent seeing you two ganging up and beating up a boy who is younger and smaller than you?

      If this boy is skinny and weak, your uncle should take him to THE DOCTOR, so that he can be checked if he has nutritional deficiency, physical deficiency/abnormality, or hormonal problems!!!!! Not to be beaten up by his cousins.

      Talk to your parents and ask them to ask your uncle to take his son to a doctor.

      Homosexuals are not skinny or weak. Some of them are body builders, athletes, boxers, wrestlers ... What?

      Please someone call a domestic abuse officer on this boy so that his father doesn't kill him.

  2. Stop hurting this kid!!!!!
    SubhanALLAH. I am amazed that people can think like this. He is so young at 11. You guys are destroying him emotionally and causing him so much pain. You think ALLAH will let you hurt this poor boy he created for crazy masculinity while he hasn’t even reach puberty yet. As a mother, I just feel like crying reading this. You guys will answer this in front of ALLAH. Child services should get hold of you.
    The dad might beed to be checked for mental issues.
    What kind of mean mentality is this?
    Save yourself and stop brutalizing him right now!! Tell your brothers to stop. Connect and talk to this poor child. Treat him well. I am so appalled.

  3. It seems like the father has some deep rooted issues with his own sexuality.

    • you guys are crazy including his father. The boy is just in his 11th year and what do you expect from him. Stop beating him and if you guys have a concern visit any good male doctor and ask him. Next time if you or your uncle touched him to challenge him It would not be good for all of you. It's insane. Your uncle is a mental case take him to the doctor too. That boy is under stress, maybe he has a hormonal imbalance due to threatful environment

  4. Your uncle is crazy and has mental issues. Seem like he is going to beat his poor son and you as well because he might be gay due to is weak skinned body.
    What’s next…
    - beat him if he talks to a girl
    - beat him if he doesn’t pray daily
    - beat him if he doesn’t listen to anyone command

    The list will go on. I am disgusted that you and your brother agreed to beat the shi*t out of him. You should be ashamed of yourself. Where is your father, mother, and the boys mother? If I knew who you were I would have called the domestic abuse line right away.

    • This is so wrong and painful to read . Please stop hurting your cousin immediately and report your uncle to authorities. He is abusive and he will scar his son for life. The damage is already done but you can still help your cousin. Seek forgiveness from Allah and stop hurting him now! The poor poor child.. the cruelty that exits in this worlds is unbearable at times but know that Allah is watching and everyone will be held accountable.
      May Allah swt take care of this child and help him out of this situation . May Allah give him a loving home. Ameen

  5. May Allah guide you and your uncle for bullying this poor kid.

    This is not how a man is made. You and your uncle are oppressing this young man. Have you thought about how he must be feeling because of this abuse and oppression?
    Have you heard about

    It was narrated that Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Help your brother whether he is a wrongdoer or is wronged.” A man said: “O Messenger of Allah, I can help him if he is wronged but what if he is the wrongdoer, how can I help him?” He said: “Stop him or prevent him from doing wrong. That is how you help him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6952).

    Being weak is not a sign of homosexuality. Indeed there were some the Sahabah who were not strong but they were far removed from such filth.

    What this kid needs is an empathetic and positive trainer who will encourage him and help him in gaining strength, and who will monitor his food intake to make sure he is getting the right amount of nutrients his body needs to gain strength. Also, this young man has most likely not reached puberty yet, which means that his body is not going to gain muscles and strength quickly. It also means that his strength is yet to come. That is because one of the changes in men that occur due to puberty is increased muscle mass.

    Also, there are other qualities that make you more of a man other than strength, most of which are a lot more important than strength. I suggest all three of you and his father watch this video :

    Another thing that I wanted to point out was that hitting on the face is totally haram. There are conditions that must be fulfilled before hitting your child is permissible. You can go to and find them there In Shaa Allah. Also, covering your awrah is a must. Real men cover their awrah which includes everything from the navel to the knees, and including the navel and the knees, according to another opinion. So, do not take your shirts off when wrestling.

    Lastly, instead of bullying your little cousin, you can actually help him become strong In Shaa Allah. You sent this question which shows goodness in you as you felt you were doing something very wrong. Know that how you currently treat him will have an awful impact on his mental and physical health.

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